Reading Reviews for Deathly Hallows Revisited
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Deathly Hallows Revistited

15th April 2011:
An amazing, beautiful, and well-written piece! The thing I was most shocked about is how close you kept this to the original battle scene... this could have actually been what was happening to all the others while Harry went off to Voldemort.

The only suggestion I have for improvement is that perhaps the change between narrorators could be a bit more defined. Perhaps if there were another space between the end of one conversation and the beginning of another, so it's not quite as sudden. For example:

Hermione: I can't believe it!


Ginny: NO!


Instead of:



Hermione: I can't believe it!

Ginny: NO!

Okay, so that's a really bad example, but you get the idea. It's really nothing major, though, it didn't affect the readability or the quality of the work, which I LOVED, by the way! Great job, 10/10!

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Review #2, by Akussa Deathly Hallows Revistited

12th April 2011:
Hello dearest!

Well, there are extremly good points in this story and some other that need a bit of work.

The great stuff : your characterization. It was easy to recognize from which character the point of view was; you really played their personalities well in the way they might think and act.
Another great thing is your writting style. You have some very good lines in this story, touching and thoughtful details that gives a different and original feel to your story.

The problem lies in the format of the story; the way you structured it. It is hard to follow at times, the way you mention the change of point of view should be underlined or bold or there should be a breakline added between the change of POV in order to make it flow better.
Right now, the story feels broken and therefore hard to read and really get hooked to your beautiful writting.

Overall, I liked it; the idea is good and the writting is enticing. The structure needs work but it's nothing too hard to change!

Akussa

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Review #3, by Mintleaf Deathly Hallows Revistited

9th April 2011:
Hi so this was a great idea to see the final battle from some different perspectives. I think it might help the flow to chuck a couple of line a between each POV or at least more spaces. I think I would have liked this to be a little longer and with a lot more emotion (Although I see you wrote this a while ago so these thing are probably too minor to bother editing). That being said you had a couple of good lines in there, especially right at the end (from 'my blood runs cold' till the end is great)!

:)

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Review #4, by VioletBlade Deathly Hallows Revistited

24th December 2010:
Hey there, it's me again! Aww this was super sweet, and it was good to see the different viewpoints. It was aptly written, because during the battle everything would have been frantic and switching POV's like you did really showed that, so bravo! That scene where Harry hears Hermione, Ron, and Ginny shouting out to him nearly broke my heart when I read it, but at least I knew he was alive! Can't imagine what it must have been like for the three others. Whew.

~Vi

Author's Response: Wow, I'm flattered! Thanks so much, these reviews are awesome! You totally just made my day! I'm so glad you enjoyed this!

-kbhg


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Review #5, by melian Deathly Hallows Revistited

19th August 2010:
This really was an excellent one-shot. I think you really delved into Ginny, Ron and Hermione's heads at that point in time and expressed their thoughts quickly and succintly. I really liked how you only put brief glimpses of each perspective before moving on to the next one; it could have felt jerky but instead it was like they were continuing on the discussion, just from a different pair of eyes. We followed them through Harry going into the forest to the sun rising on an Order victory - and how you managed to do that in under a thousand words is quite frankly beyond me. Fantastic bit of writing.

cheers, Mel

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm very flattered. Characterization is important to me, so I'm really glad I pulled it off in this.
And frankly, I have no idea how I pulled off that word count either. ;)

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

-kbhg


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Review #6, by Katie Deathly Hallows Revistited

16th March 2010:
Love that one of the best missing moments you never really get them from this particular moment so unique and Fantastic in every way!

Author's Response: Wow, thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
-krazyboutharryginny


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Review #7, by kassandra466 Deathly Hallows Revistited

14th February 2010:
OMG!! this is AMAZING!! : D made me SMILE!! : D

Author's Response: Thank you! You're my first reviewer in a month!!! I'm so glad you liked it! :D

-krazyboutharryginny

P.S. keep your eyes peeled for my new story, Chances, coming soon!


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Review #8, by Bigsisto3 Deathly Hallows Revistited

4th November 2009:
Author's Response: Well, I could have made Harry die at the end, but that would be EXTREMELY out of character for me. I mean, if I read a story where Harry dies, I blub pathetically. It's like Niagra Falls changes course so it's magically flowing out of my EYES. So it would be a bit weird if I wrote a story where Harry dies. Because I would cry while I was writing, typing up, posting and answering reviews for it.

But hey, here's an alternate ending, just for you...
"No lights. None. Zip. Nada.
What did it mean... had the names not been read yet? Or was Harry truly...
Ginny walked up to the door, and pushed it open... and was greeted by several tearstained faces.
"Ginny... Harry-" started Hermione.
"Don't tell me he died," interrupted Ginny. "Please."
"There was an ambush," said Hermione. "And Harry tried to help the others get out... but... the Avada Kedavra... I'm so sorry."
"I asked you not to tell me that!" said Ginny, and burst into tears.
Hermione stood up and ran over, wrapping her arms around Ginny. "I'm so sorry..."
"I never even got a chance to tell him..." said Ginny.
"What? Tell him what?"
"I'm pregnant.""

There.
Kay then.
BTW, you are in no way overwhelming me with reviews. Reviews PWN!!! ;)


I copied and pasted. ^.^ It's something I do so I can respond properly. So, anyway, thank you for the alternate ending! Loved it! "Specially the ending, so much wonderful drama. :D It's more. . . me. I'm writing a FF in my notebook about Harry's death, can't wait to get it posted. It's shamazin' so far. Glad you're not overwhelmed. xD I shall continue reviewing then; like this one!

But now to the story at hand, it was really good! Love the switching of POVs, and the reactions. It's so perfect! It's got drama, it's got pain, it's got love, and it's got a happy ending. How very, very magnificent!

Author's Response: THANK YOU!!! :)
Haha. Managed to keep Niagra Falls under control while reading the cut and paste in your review. ;)
When I read DH Revisited, I cringe. It seems so ameteurish. So it's good to know that readers enjoy it!!! (LOL!)


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Review #9, by 2lilys Deathly Hallows Revistited

23rd July 2009:
Fabulous. It is a really interesting story hearing from the other point of views of the other three.

I wold enjoy that if you continued it because it is so illuring that it makes you want to read more.
It has the WOW factor

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!

I probably won't be able to continue it because I'm writing a book and also writing 5 or 6 fanfics. This will probably stay a one shot. Sorry if this disappoints. You could check out my other stories in the meantime... ;)
-krazyboutharryginny


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Review #10, by Ginnys_x _heart Deathly Hallows Revistited

30th June 2009:
I really like this I think you should do one dedicated to Ginny in the battle because you expressed her feelings asnd insight really well!

Author's Response: Thank you for the compliment! I'm not going to do a story like you suggested yet, though, because I'm working on... oh, let me see... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... yes, 5 other fanfics at the moment, plus I'm writing a book, so I'm a bit busy! :)
Maybe once a couple of the other fanfics are finished up, I'll write a Deathly Hallows story from Ginny's perspective, because I do think that would be really very interesting to write!
Thanks for leaving a review!
-krazyboutharryginny


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Review #11, by evanlyn Deathly Hallows Revistited

22nd April 2009:
Hey, I also have a one-shot called Deathly Hallows Revisited. Have to say, the spelling error in your title made me laugh. Revis - tit - ed. But thats just me being immature. Which will give you some idea what my one-shot is like. Kreacher pole-dances. I'm totally serious. Please review my story, I really liked yours, 10/10. And we are title-twins!!!

Author's Response: Did I really say"Revistited"? That kinda sucks cuz I pride myself on my spelling. What a wierd typo!
I'll be sure to check out your story! Did you read my other two? "Try And Stop Us" is way more popular, it had 100 more reads than DHR.


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Review #12, by RonsGirlFriday Deathly Hallows Revistited

5th April 2009:
Ginny's line that she whispers at the end reminds me of Lily's words when she's protecting Harry. Did you do that on purpose? Even if not, it was pretty eerie. :-)

Author's Response: Yeah, I kinda did that by accident, then after I wrote it, I was like, "WOAH, that sounds like Lily!"
Yeah, but I thought it was kinda cool and creepy, so I left it.


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Review #13, by lisapaulinee Deathly Hallows Revistited

4th April 2009:
It was kinda... odd, to tell u the truth. I didn't believe anything and uhm maybe it was a bit short.

Author's Response: Well... I don't really get what you mean by you didn't believe anything... sorry u didn't like it, tho...

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