I don't feel any emotion in your writing. It's just letters on a page instead of words coming together as pictures and scenes. I found myself bored with it very early in. I would suggest grabbing a thesaurus and looking up some new words. I think that's what one of your big problems is repeating words. I really hope it does get better, but it's just not really for me.Author's Response: Thanks for giving it a chance, i will work on what you said. Report Review
wow I loved this story! Nice job!^_^ :) =) srry I like smiley faces 10/10Author's Response: Awwwe First review! Thank you soo much :) Best regards Stevie Report Review
navigation
home
search HPFF read stories write stories login/register get help site links forums podcasts Terms of Service Site Rules contact us
categories & genres
Genre: - crossover - drama - fluff - general - horror/dark - humor - mystery - romance - action/adventure - angst - au - young adult
Popular Pairings: - harry/ginny - ron/hermione - james/lily - draco/hermione - more...
Format: - one-shot - short story - novella - novel - short story collection - songfic
quick links
my account ToS random story site rules help merchandise
fanfictionworld.net