I like it but it feels more like the chapter of a novel than a short story. It doesn't seem complete enough for a short story, but the characters and everything else I like! Report Review
Aw, this is really sweet! I like the idea of this, because lots of people end up in this kind of situation, its a nice change from stories where either the main charachter and their BFF are madly in love, or the main charachter and their worst enemies are madly in love...I just hope it can stay the same realistic throughout.
I also kind of wonder if, although I don't want to change the story if it has a set ending, but if you'd consider her finding someone else, know what I mean? Like, while she carries a candle (so to speak) for Lorcan, she falls in love with Lysander, or even some other charachter altogether. But PLEASE don't feel obligated to do it this way just because I suggested it, it's YOUR story, not mine.Author's Response: I know! I like that she's in the muck of it all, I mean, not everyone is able to end up with the guy. There are girls who are friends and there are girlfriends and there are the odd inbetweeners. I love perspective. Meh meh meh. I hope it stays realistic as well. c: We shall see who belongs with who. Hoot. It'll get very teenage romancish before the end... if you catch my meaning...
Gosh, please, I love, adore and enjoy your suggestions which are all too welcome, and entreat you to worry not as I am notorious for being a completely stubborn *person* :/
You are too kind. Cheers! Report Review
This is terrific, please continue it. It doesn't seem right to leave it off here. I feel like you've created this cute character only to do away with her in about five sentences of speech.Author's Response: Hah.
I really must thank you for saying such things as I think I quite love Madeleine. Am actually strongly considering putting up a short story with her in a week or so. c:
"I think I fancy Lorcan Scamander."
"You don't say."
Marianne smiled sheepishly.
"What do you thing?"
"I think that this toast has too much butter," Madeleine said, setting the offending slice down.
This exchange is wonderfully natural and made me laugh out loud. Mad's voice is excellent, and I can't wait to read more of the story. Nice work!
PalomaAuthor's Response: *squee*
Am exceedingly pleased that you like the dialogue. I rather enjoy laughter, myself and for this reason am not finished with Mad, I think. Thanks Paloma!
*trots off to edit*[noticed a spelling error D:] Report Review
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