Beautiful story! Oh my goodness! Description, romance, wording was all so fantastic! I had to read really, realy fast (so late and school tomorrow :p) but every word and thought just jumped out and I promise I capture it all! How could I not! The words were practically jumping off the pages! That was so good! I thought it was brilliant!
I was a bit confused at the beginning of who was talkign btu I think I've got it figured out :) You did a greta job with this! I treally enjoyed it! it msot certainly was NOT a jumble of words :D Not at all. You really did a nice job with it. The flow was really good! Thank you SO much for requesting! feel free to re-request anytime for ANYTHING!! Thanks again!
Clair (EvelynCullen09 on forums) :DAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review. I'm glad you liked it and that it wasn't just a jumble of huge and meaningless words! It was supposed to be for a challenge and it never got submitted for the challenge because I took a different direction with it and I'm glad at how it turned out. Thank you so much for the lovely review and I'll try to see if I can make it more obvious as to who is speaking! Report Review
I really liked this! It made a fantastic one-shot! The plot was played out wonderfully! It had a clear progression, and you wrapped it up very well!
The characterization was also spot on! I can easily see Remus saying this. Plus with the descriptions, it just all melded together perfectly! I was really able to visualize the place he was in, sitting on the grounds, but the descriptions of his emotions were most important, and as you went through each of the different memories it was so easy to tell what he was feeling. It really brought me into his head. Lovely, really!
The only critique I really have is that I noticed a few missing letters or spelling mistakes, like in the beginning 'you' instead of 'your', but it wasn't a big deal. Quick proofread should fix it up if you so wish.
Keep up the good work!
-JillAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! My spelling and grammatical mistakes have got to be worked on, I know. I probably should find a beta reader since I'm not that wonderful at proofreading. It's hard to find mistakes when you just want to get to the end. I've always found that Remus is one of the most complicated characters to portray. He's very soft and gentle where as he has the very dangerous, masculine side about him, so I'm glad that you thought that I did well with the specific characterization. Thanks again! The review is very much appreciated! Report Review
I'm saddened by the fact you've got 0 reviews so far... this one shot was very powerful. Someone I loved and was close to me passed away last month but instead of tears, this one shot brought up good happy memories. For a first one shot, you should be proud of yourself. I found myself addicted to one shots after writing my first. I love the descriptions and it was just breathtaking. Love the last line. It fit well. :)Author's Response: I'm really sorry for your loss, and I'm happy that this brought up some good memories for you. This was a particularly difficult one-shot for me to write. In the moment, we thought someone very close to my family was about to pass away, so I decided to write something like this. Thank you, so much. Your review really made my day. =] Report Review
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