Reading Reviews for Rule Breaker
570 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Alicia The End

12th July 2017:
Let me start by saying I have loved this story... but have you even read the last book? Harry himself is horcrux. I have decently liked your other changes but this should not have been changed. At all.

Author's Response: Hi Alicia!

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you loved the story! I have read "Deathly Hallows," yes, but if you glance at the summary for this novel, you'll see that it says "disregards DH," which means I decided to write an alternative version of that book. It's a great book, of course; this is just my own take on the end of JK Rowling's series.

Thanks again for reading!


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Review #2, by MrsSaraMalfoy Epilogue

24th October 2016:
Hi Emily
Not sure if you still read reviews but I needed to write one anyway. This was such a great story!! I was really happy to find it and be able to read this, I do think it could be (if you don't want to write the sequel/or are unable to) wrapped up with another epilogue. I mean how do they cope with the grief, do they stay together? What becomes of them all?

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I absolutely loved writing this story, and a sequel isn't out of the question. I've fallen out of the community a bit over the last couple of years, but I still really care about this story and how the characters cope in the aftermath of the war. I might do what you've suggested and write a short epilogue-type piece to accompany this. Or maybe pursue the sequel in the future. I'm so happy that you liked the story. Thank you very much for your kind words!


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Review #3, by muse-ickle-me The Sorting Hat's Warning

6th December 2015:
Very good chapter. Well done on the song.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so happy that you liked the chapter and the song! Take care!


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Review #4, by Beeezie Epilogue

8th July 2015:
I'm back for BvB! This is both exciting and sad, it's like the third time I'm finishing Rule Breaker.

You did an amazing job of setting the scene from the very beginning. The Hospital Wing that she walked into was horrifying. It was fitting too, though, and I really liked that you didn't pull any punches about the aftermath of the battle.

I felt terrible for both Draco and Hermione, too. I can completely see how two completely different sides of Draco would find themselves at war over this - on one hand, he's generally been quite privileged and able-bodied, and even with the trials of the past year, there are certain things he'd always kept a hold of. His pride and independence made this really hard to deal with, and I can see why he was holding back panic.

But I also really appreciated that while his pride made this an even bigger blow than it would be to many people - and I think it would be a huge blow to many people, don't get me wrong - his pride also gave him a means to resist the anxiety and despair. Malfoys didn't fall apart, indeed.

You didn't pull any punches when they went downstairs, either. We knew that Molly had died, but actually seeing her family gathered around her was heartbreaking, and Luna's (and her father's, I suppose, but let's be real here) and McGonagall's deaths were both jarring. I'm glad that you showed Theo and had Hermione express her feelings about his sacrifice, but I was also glad that his friends didn't look up to see her. If they have any idea what happened, they'd be furious with her, and that would really detract from the poignance of the scene.

This was such a great ending to the story, and I'm really glad you didn't do a "jump forward, happy times are here again!" sort of epilogue. This fit both the tone of the story as a whole and Hermione and Draco's relationship. I'd love to read a sequel, but for Rule Breaker, this was perfect.

And now I have to say goodbye again, and I miss it already. ♥ You did an amazing job on this, Emily, and you should feel so proud of yourself.

Author's Response: Hi again, my dear!

I can't believe that "Rule Breaker" is over! Every time someone reviews the epilogue, it just shocks me that there even IS an epilogue! I'm glad that you thought Draco's characterization here was consistent. I didn't want him to melt down in this story. The horror of what's happened to him and to the world is something I wanted to deal with more in the sequel to this. So we'll see if that ever gets written. ;) I'm glad the scene in the Great Hall was powerful too. This was a war. People were lost, and I didn't want to shy away from that. It sucked so much to write because it hurt to kill them all, but I'm glad it held an impact for readers. Also, the ending was really important to me. I felt like jumping forward and making things happy would really offend the horrors that these characters had gone through. I couldn't so quickly negate what had happened.

Again, thank you so much. Your opinion on this story means the world to me.


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Review #5, by Beeezie The End

8th July 2015:
Hey, Emily! Here for BvB!

Omg. I am so excited. I thought that I'd left you reviews on every chapter of Rule Breaker last summer, but I must have just read the last two, not reviewed them! (I'm terrible, I'm sorry.) So now BvB is giving me an excuse to come back and revisit the fic (which, btw, I really, really miss, and I would love to read a sequel for).

I loved this. I thought that you captured Bellatrix at the beginning perfectly. The unhinged, slightly manic ranting and taunting fit so perfectly with the Bellatrix we knew from the books, as did the joy she got from causing Hermione pain. She didn't just want to kill her - she wanted her to suffer, first.

Theo jumping in front of her was heartbreaking, and Remus casting the killing curse was chilling - but both were completely realistic. Theo did have a lot to make up for, because there was some tacit approval in his unwillingness to cut ties with his family. I get that it's hard, but when your Muggleborn girlfriend has to ask you whether you have a dark mark when you come back from Christmas with your family, there is a problem. Seriously, Theo, no one cares.

(Okay, some people care. But you know how I have feelings about that.)

I liked that you had Remus cast the Killing Curse, though. It was chilling, but I think it really helped to emphasize that this is a war, and sometimes the good guys are going to use Unforgivables because it's the quickest means to an end. Bellatrix needed to die. The end.

I'd also forgotten that you killed off Mrs. Weasley. That's brutal. I mean, I can see why you did, but - that's brutal. Oh my god. I started crying. And I thought that you handled Ron's grief really wonderfully there - I felt his anguish and his pain, and while he was able to rally in the moment, I thought that you handled that moment terrifically as well - the stakes are higher than that, and I can see Ron being able to understand that and shove his grief aside when Voldemort led his army in. (Which was also a great scene, by the way.)

There were a couple parts I wasn't sure about, though. While I loved the scene with Bellatrix overall, I was a little confused when Bellatrix's crushed Hermione's hand and then two paragraphs later, Hermione had her wand in her hand. I'm assuming you meant her other hand, but it would have been nice for that to be a little clearer, particularly since it seems likely that now she'd be holding her wand in her off hand.

And, while the final scene was great in so many ways, including the dialogue, I did wish that you'd expanded it a little more. There were only a few paragraphs between Voldemort arriving and Voldemort being dead, which I think it was a little anticlimactic given how important this moment is to the story.

Overall, though, I loved this so much, and like I said, I really miss Rule Breaker!

Author's Response: HI BRANWEN! :D

Your reviews on this story have always been the absolute best that I've received, and I am so excited that you revisted "Rule Breaker" to let me know what you think of the ending.

First off, I really am considering a sequel, but it's been so hard for me to write HPFF stuff lately for some reason. Finishing "Rule Breaker" really changed how I looked at writing and HPFF and all sorts of things. This was such an accomplishment that it's been hard for me to start another big project like it. But I want to write a sequel someday soon. We'll see. ;)

Now to your review! I am SO glad that you liked Bellatrix at the beginning. I was so worried about writing her. She's really an intimidating character to try to capture, so I'm REALLY happy she came across well. As for Theo...ahh, it killed me to kill him. I wanted him to have a chance to get better and be a better person...but it just didn't happen. I couldn't work it out where he would make it out alive. :/ Poor guy. But you're right--he messed up a lot. So his fate was, sadly, unavoidable.

Oh my gosh! Your point about "sometimes the good guys are going to use Unforgiveables" -- YES. I feel like this was skimmed over in canon, but I wasn't willing to do that. It's a war, and terrible things happen, and terrible choices have to be made. It's hard, but it's true.

Dang. I forgot I killed Mrs. Weasley! You're right; that IS brutal. But I do remember the day I came up with the "death list" for these final chapters, and I remember how hard it was when my brain started piecing together who wouldn't be able to make it. This whole chapter was so hard to write. I just...blahhh. So emotionally taxing.

I'll go check out those parts you want me to clarify! Thanks for the advice! You always have great CC!

All-in-all, this was such a great review. You're really made ME miss "Rule Breaker." It was such an experience to write, and your chapter images brought it to life so beautifully. You have no idea how much I appreciate them, as well as this review!

Thank you thank you thank you!

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Review #6, by ScarlettTulips Epilogue

24th April 2015:
This was just perfect. I liked the progression of the relationships. I could see how your writing skills developed throughout the book. You should be very proud. It ended with sorrow, but with a beautiful hope aswell. xoxo

Author's Response: Hello there!

Thank you so, so much for reading this entire novel! It means so much to me that you took the time to check it out. And your compliments are so kind! I really appreciate this! I'm so happy you liked the story! Thanks again!


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Review #7, by silverfawkes Camping

31st March 2015:
Just a note, Gamp's Laws for Transfiguration state that you can't conjure food out of nothing. The Room of Requirement wouldn't be able to offer amenities such as marshmallows.
Story seems pretty good so far but Draco is coming off as weak and Hermione seems a little dimmer. I like your style of writing though and I'm excited to get to the end.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for reading and reviewing! Good catch on Gamp's Laws! I hadn't thought of that. As for the characterization, I've definitely shifted things somewhat to accommodate the story, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Let me know what you think when you reach the end. Thanks again!


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Review #8, by Sara Epilogue

28th October 2014:
I love this story it was incredible to read!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it, and I'm so happy that you enjoyed it!


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Review #9, by Mimi Epilogue

8th October 2014:
A lovely story with a sad ending!

Author's Response: Hi Mimi!

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad that you like the story! The ending is bittersweet, yes, but I think it was fitting after such a dramatic battle. I appreciate your feedback and am so glad you took the time to read this novel. Thanks again!


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Review #10, by Random Reader The Fire

28th September 2014:
Hello! I've been reading through your story for a while now, and I've got to say that you're an amazing writer. Seriously, I love your writing and the fact that your grammar and spelling are both so free of annoying mistakes.
Now that that's out of the way, I have to tell you that I was a little torn when Draco says "Always" to Hermione. While I think it totally fits the situation, the word has some serious weight from when Snape uses it in the books. So at first it definitely bothered me, but it's started to be okay in my mind.
Great job so far- I can't wait to keep reading!
-Random Reader

Author's Response: Hello there, Random Reader!

Thank you so much for reading this story and for reviewing! I'm really happy that you're liking it so far, and your compliments make me blush. Thank you so much! As for your critique about Draco saying, "Always": I actually hadn't thought about the Snape parallel at all! I'm really not fond of Snape, so I guess I let him slip my mind. I think I'll consider rewording it so that people don't draw that comparison. Draco's love for Hermione is much more legitimate than Snape's obsession for Lily (in my opinion ;) ). Thanks again for reading and reviewing, though! Sorry for my mini-rant there!


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Review #11, by Veritaserum27 A Predictable Appointment

27th September 2014:

I'm here from the Ravenclaw common room for Story Search Round 1!

I'm definitely intrigued by this story. I think you've characterized all of the main people really well. Harry is worried about the war, Ron isn't hung up on Hermione, but his emotions still run high, Hermione is still focused on her academics - and now being Head Girl. Ooo - they'll be sharing a dorm, that is a nice set up for a lot of interesting situations. I can't wait to find out what happens. I never noticied this before, but when Hermione looked at the badge, I realized that her initials are the same as the initials for Head Girl (HG) - haha! You ended with a nice cliffhanger at the end, very well done.

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm really glad that you liked this first chapter! Beginning such a huge story is daunting, but when I wrote this, I didn't even know what "Rule Breaker" would grow to be, so I think that helped me keep things on solid ground, if that makes sense. I'm glad you liked the characterization, and I'm really happy you enjoyed the ending! Thanks again!


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Review #12, by HollyHogwarts Epilogue

19th September 2014:
I can not believe that this that was the final chapter to the book.
You are a very talented writer, so i urge you to begin writing a sequel.
I absolutely adored this book, and am very happy to say that, even though i may not have liked how some of the characters ended up in the book, i will still continue to read your work and most likely reread this book. xxx

Author's Response: Hi Holly!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm really glad that you liked the story! I'm sorry for the death list. I know a lot of characters didn't get ideal endings...but war is complicated, sadly, and losses do occur. I'm so glad that you liked the novel as a whole, though, and I hope you continue to like it if you reread. Hopefully, a sequel will happen soon! I'm still letting the fact that this story is over sink in. Then, I hope to write a second novel. Maybe even a third! Who knows. :) Again, thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it very much!


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Review #13, by Kathleen Epilogue

14th September 2014:
This really did turn into a book and I'm grateful for that. It was great and not once did I consider quitting. You're so talented and this is on my top 3 fanfictions of all time. Thank you so much for this gift to the hp fanfic community

Author's Response: Hi Kathleen!

Thank you so much for reading this entire novel! I'm so glad that you liked it, and your compliments totally make me blush. I'm so, so happy that you've enjoyed this story. Thank you infinitely.


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Review #14, by Infinityx Epilogue

9th September 2014:
Hi Emily! I saw that the epilogue has been posted and just had to come read it and review.

I can't even imagine what you must be feeling right now. Five years is a long time and it's finally done. First of all, congrats! It's such a huge accomplishment. And second of all, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? MOLLY, LUNA, XENO, THEO AND MCGONAGALL? JUST WHY. :'(

Okay, so before I overwhelm you with the extent of my emotions, I should probably get some coherent words into this review. I don't think I've reviewed any of the previous chapters but I have been following this story, and also waiting in nail-biting anticipation for the last few chapters to get posted. I was drawn to this because I saw your posts about it being a non-cliched Dramione and the plot was actually great! There were some parts where thinking about Draco and Hermione together made me skeptical but I guess that's just because of my strong adherence to canon.

You've done a brilliant job of writing this. I'm not going to be able to comment on every aspect as it would be too much in a single review (I think I'll go back and review every chapter). Your plot was incredibly intriguing and I love how you brought in the House Unity in such a believable way. To break through the stereotypes surrounding Slytherin house was a feat in itself, and I found myself falling in love with every character throughout this story.

I also am really impressed by the way you managed to tie up every loose end. I mean, I didn't even remember Theo's confusion and the conflict between him and Hermione until the part where he sacrifices himself. While that completely shattered me, it also struck me that you've done a neat job of completing this, so well done!

Also, you've written action scenes effectively and the plot itself was incredibly powerful. Looking at the entire picture now, I think it's just amazing the way you've rewritten canon in such a manner, and making it seem realistic as well. Hats off to you! :D

Now to the emotional part.
I love Draco and Hermione in this. Absolutely LOVE. Which is saying a lot because something or the other usually comes up with reference to canon and I get really skeptical. But even IF such a thing did happen, the way you characterized them both made me fall in love with these characters on their own, and not thinking of them in terms of canon. (If that makes sense)

I also hate you. You know why. I am a huge ball of quivering mass struggling to keep the tears from drenching my shirt. Not even joking. Loved the characters. Felt the angst throughout. And a bit of me died when they did as well. I can't even.

Anyway, I know this review doesn't address anything solid but I needed to leave one now because it's actually over. This is like how I felt after finishing the final book in the original series.

Well done, Emily! I am heartbroken, and sad that the story is over but so glad that I read this. If you feel like you want to gush about completing this, or join me in crying over this, feel free to leave me a PM. *hug*


Author's Response: Hi Erin!

I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to reply to your review! It's actually been really hard for me to get up the emotional strength to answer reviews on the Epilogue. I'm still in shock that this is over! So, to reply: Thank you SO much for this long, beautiful, in-depth review. I love every single thing about it, and I appreciate it so much!

Thank you for reading this entire story! If you review any other chapters, I'll most definitely respond.

I'm so sorry about the death list that has so greatly traumatized you. I'm still shocked that it's happened. I almost cried when I knew who wouldn't make it through the story. :(

I'm so glad you liked the balance between action and emotion throughout the novel. Your compliments on my "rewrite of canon" have made me smile for days.

I am infinitely happy that you love Draco and Hermione in this. I'm so happy that someone who loves canon so much could latch onto the suspension of disbelief and really fall in love with these characters and this story. That is such a high, high compliment.

I understand why you hate me and totally forgive you for it. Let's be honest, /I/ kind of hate me! It was so hard to write these deaths, and I'm glad they resonated with you.

Thank you again for all your comments and compliments. They were so amazing, and I appreciate them all. Again, I'm sorry for the delay in my reply. You're the best. Thank you so, so much.


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Review #15, by ArtyGirl Choices

2nd September 2014:


*pounds on glass*

Awesome so far, I'm loving it.

Author's Response: Hello there!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm really glad that you're liking the story, and I hope you continue to as you read on! I'm glad the chapter affected you so much! ;) Thanks again!


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Review #16, by teh tarik The Sorting Hat's Warning

29th August 2014:
Hello again, Emily!

I'm here with the second of your two prize reviews. :)

Wow, what a chapter! It was very evenly paced; there were moments with tension (e.g. the opening scene with Harry and Ron and Malfoy), and calmer moments (e.g. Hermione bringing in the first years to Hagrid), and I think you maintained a great balance between these.

I think your characterisations are very believable, and true to canon. The animosity displayed between Harry and Ron and Draco all ring true. And my, my, Draco is unpleasant, isn't he? In the carriage with Hermione, especially. I think you're writing their relationship very realistically, and without rushing things. The encounter between both of them in the carriage is certainly prickly and rather hostile, and I'm gald Hermione used her Head Girl powers to defend herself. Draco drawing his wand at her seemed rather extreme, but it's great to see that Hermione can deal with this without losing her cool or retaliating in an equally hostile manner. I guess that's why she's been picked as Head Girl!

I love the Sorting Hat song that you wrote! Wow, your rhymes are wonderful, and there's a lovely rhythm to it! And the verses do have the right amount of tension and ominousness in them; after all, there is a full-blown war going on beyond the walls of Hogwarts. You're such a talented poet, by the way! I must say, the fifth stanza (the one about SLytherin house) is my favourite part of the poem!

I also love reading Sorting Ceremonies in fanfic! I think you wrote the entire Sorting scene wonderfully!

This was an absolutely fantastic chapter, Emily! I really enjoyed reading this. When I find myself with a bit more free time in the future, I'll definitely swing by again and read the rest of your fic. It'll take me some time, but I'll be back here soon enough!

Great work! And congrats (for winning the challenge, as well as completing this novel!!)!


Author's Response: Hi again, teh!

Thanks for another great review! I'm so glad that you liked the chapter and felt that it was well-balanced. Your compliments on the characterization mean so much to me! I'm so happy that you liked everyone! And that Hat song! Oh my gosh, to this day (five years later!), I'm still proud of that song! I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks again for all your comments and compliments. I'm so happy that you liked the chapter!


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Review #17, by teh tarik A Predictable Appointment

29th August 2014:
Hello Emily!

I'm here with the first of your two prize reviews! :D Uh, in case you don't remember, or are not sure what I'm on about, aaages ago you participated in the Crack!Ship & Rarepair Challenge and won third place, with a prize of two reviews. I am so sorry how long it has taken me to get round to reviewing! Congratulations again for winning! :)

So I've seen you promote this fic of yours very often on the forums, and I'm glad I finally got the chance to read this! I enjoy AU, and other alternative interpretations to canon events, so I think I'm going to enjoy reading about Hermione's final year at school very much. I love how you've started off the story with so much detail from Hermione's POV.

The flashback was really well-written, and I think you did a great job capturing Hermione's elation and excitement at being appointed Head Girl. And I like the idea of McGonagall creating the shared dorm for the Head Boy and Head Girl, for the sake of promoting house unity. I heard that shared dorms are a bit of a cliche in HP fic, so I think you've done great work developing this idea and making it more believable, and less of a cliche.

Haha, I guess this means Hermione will be sharing a dorm with Theodore Nott? Nott sounds like he's full of apathy. It doesn't sound like he even cares that he's Head Boy of the school. He's an interesting choice, and I can't wait to see how you'll develop things between Head Boy and Head Girl, and how they'll work together.

I love that you haven't forgotten Harry and Ron here, despite this being a Dramione. Harry and Ron telling Hermione she was becoming pompous like Percy must have been deflated her a little. Aww, poor Hermione! :P They should let her enjoy her time as Head Girl before term begins officially; pretty soon she'll be swamped with work, I think.

Oh, and Malfoy is back, I see. I love his entrance, and that snarky comment about Nott not having his charisma and whatnot. Snarky!Malfoy is always so fun to read. I can't wait to see how your Dramione ship will develop!

This was a lovely chapter, Emily! Great work. :D I'll be back for the next one!


Author's Response: Hey teh!

I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to reply to you! I got wrapped up in school and writing the epilogue and somehow it slipped my mind. Anyhow: thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad that you liked this first chapter! I was really unsure about doing a flashback, but I'm really happy that you think it worked. Shared dorms are TOTALLY a cliche! I really wanted to work with some of those cliches, though, and try to develop them into something different. I'm glad you think it seems believable. And I'm so glad you liked that Harry and Ron are in this! I really wanted to include them, even though I find them incredibly difficult to write for. Draco's entrance is my favorite part of this chapter. I really wanted him to have a ZING moment! :) Thanks again for reading and reviewing and for all your comments! I really appreciate them!


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Review #18, by AriesGirl40 The End

5th August 2014:
Wow, an action packed ending! I loved it! You worked a long time for this. well done :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you liked it, and I really hope you like the epilogue when it's posted. This has been such a journey for me, and I'm so happy you enjoyed the story! Thanks again!


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Review #19, by HollyHogwarts The End

4th August 2014:
Oh My God!!!
That was absolutely absolutely brilliant. It was sad that Theo and Mrs Weasley died, but we all knew that one of our favourite characters was going to die.
I am still rather curious to know as to where Draco ended up in the story, so i am hoping that it will be revealed in the epilogue.
I adore your writing skills and commend you on writing such a fantastic story. I have enjoyed it so so much.
I hope that you continue writing in the future xx

Author's Response: Hi Holly!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so happy that you liked the chapter! The epilogue (coming soon!) will explain what's happened to all of the characters: who lived, who died, who sustained grievous injuries, etc. I really appreciate all of your compliments, and I'm really glad you liked the story. Keep an eye out for the epilogue, and I hope you'll tell me what you think of it. Thanks again! :)


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Review #20, by HollyHogwarts The Battle

22nd July 2014:
Oh My Goodness!!
Hell what a chapter... i cant believe that you left me hanging like that though.
Please update soon, this is by far one of my favourite stories on this sight!!
You have done a brilliant job!

Author's Response: Hello Holly!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so happy that you like the story, and I'm so glad you've read this far. I'm going to be posting the final chapter and the epilogue soon. I can't believe it's almost over. Thank you so much for your compliments! :)


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Review #21, by Carissa The Battle

18th July 2014:
OH MY GOD! I just started reading this fanfic last nigh, OOMGGAH!!

Author's Response: HI AGAIN! :)

I can't believe you went through that entire story that quickly! You'll have to check back to see chapter 49 and the epilogue when I post them! I really hope you like them and let me know what you think! Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #22, by Carissa From the Ashes

18th July 2014:
Poor Nott! :( I feel so bad for him! Though at first, I thought he was one of the DE trying to kill Draco.

Author's Response: Hi again, Carissa!

Thank you for reading and reviewing more of this story! I feel bad for Theo sometimes too. He's not the easiest to be around, though, so I definitely understand Hermione's choice. I'm glad you've been speculating on the story! I hope you continue to like it! Thanks again!


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Review #23, by Beeezie The Battle

18th July 2014:
Aww, thank you so much for the dedication! ♥ I'm sad that both the story and the CIs are coming to an end. :( You don't happen to have another novel in the planning stages that will need graphics, do you? :P

I really enjoyed this chapter. Looking back on all of them, I can definitely see how your writing has evolved and improved over time, which is great. The adjective/adverb overuse I'd been noting in early chapters has basically vanished at this point, and the prose as a whole just has a smoother flow to it. (That's not to say your writing was bad at the start, of course! It wasn't! But it has gotten better.)

A couple little pieces of crit:

I would have liked to see a little more about Draco's relationship (or lack thereof) with Wormtail. It's not even so much that I wanted you to spend more time on it, because I agree that Hermione would not have wanted to dwell on it, but I did wish I'd gotten some indication from Draco about how Wormtail affected him, even if it was just a sneer or a kick.

I also was a little confused by Lucius and Narcissa showing up and calling Draco, 'Malfoy.' That seemed very out of character for them. I also felt like Hermione was a bit too nonchalant about their presence - after all, the mending that's happened between her and Draco certainly doesn't extend to them, and I'm not even sure that 'changed sides' is accurate as much as 'defected' is. It's not like they joined the Order, after all.

Overall, though, this was an excellent chapter. I thought that you captured the affection and love that the Malfoys clearly shared for each other perfectly, and I also loved that you didn't ignore their prejudices. Even though there wasn't time to properly address it in the moment, it's clear that they weren't pleased, and it wouldn't shock me if they did take Draco out of the fight by whatever means they had to... because that's something they would do, too.

I also thought that you captured the action elements of the chapter really well. There was a lot going on in it, but throughout the chapter, I felt like I had a very good picture in my head of what was going on, which is a pretty impressive feat given how chaotic the scenes you were describing were. It never got repetitive, either, which was excellent.

Great job, and this was a crazy cliffhanger! I hope you get the next chapter up soon!

Author's Response: Branwen! :D

You completely deserved the dedication! Your CIs give such a beautiful face to these chapters, and your fantastic reviews are really going to help me improve this! (That improvement is going to start happening like...tonight! WHOA.) As for other projects planned...I'm considering a sequel to this, actually! I don't know yet, but I feel like I could continue from where this ends. We'll see, I suppose! I'll be writing a huge, in-depth, overly-emotional blog post on HPFF after I post the epilogue to this story, so maybe I'll decide by then. :)

I'm so happy that you see how my writing has changed! I completely agree that it's gotten better! It's been five years since I started this, after all, and a lot has changed in my style, etc. I'm glad you think it's better now. When I edit the other chapters (starting like...tonight! ;) ), I hope to improve them also. Thanks!

I love your criticism, as always! I'll think how to clarify with Wormtail. As for the word "Malfoy" being shouted...I actually imagined that as one of the fighters in the hall seeing Lucius and shouting that. Huh. I'll have to clarify that as well, oops! But I will fix Hermione's reaction...and pretty much that whole scene for that matter. XD

But I am glad you liked their characterization for the most part, as well as the action-elements here. Thanks again for this fantastic review! I can't believe the end is so close...I barely even want to write it. Edits first, though, and then the

Thank you so much for everything.

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Review #24, by Carissa Christmas

17th July 2014:
*sputters* WHAT??? He can't just do that and LEAVE!!!

Author's Response: Hi Carissa!

Your review made me laugh so much! :D I'm sorry for the cliffhanger! You'll learn more about their situation in the following chapters, and I hope you like how the story progresses! Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #25, by kathleen The Battle

16th July 2014:
You better not kill Draco or Hermione or I'll cry and go into a depression. Fantastic story

Author's Response: Hi again!

Thank you for reading and reviewing! You'll have to check out chapter 49 and the epilogue (chapter 50) when they're posted to figure out how this ends! ;) I hope you like it!

Thanks again!

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