Reading Reviews for My seventh year diary
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Katy Apologise's Accepted?

8th May 2009:
Dude! its mint as usual o course lol nw i want to read the next 1 already lol hahaha dam it!!! u legend wi yr fabuloso brainio lol o n luvin da bit at da top hahah hehe :P tank u! ly xxx

Author's Response: thanks dude
its all true that bit lol
should be up soon hopefully
ly xx


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Review #2, by AlbusSeverusPotter Apologise's Accepted?

7th May 2009:
Aw! That was so worth the wait, I really like the note she gets from David. Awesome banner by the way! When are her and Sirius gonna get together? Anyways, can't wait 4 the next chapter.
BYE!!!

Author's Response: thank you that means alot to me
hmmm i don't acctualy know!
thank you for taking the time to write this and hopefully another chapter should be on its way
ly Tink_4_lyf xx


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Review #3, by Toxic Turquoise last start of term feast

3rd May 2009:
This was good! I like her setting the dormitory on fire =)

There were quite a lot of grammar mistakes though. There were a few "i"'s which should have been "I"'s. There was also this:

"I should probably tell you who the marauders are, they are the school pranksters, the marauders are: James Potter, school heart throb but has eyes only for Lilly Evans and no one else, Sirius Black the other school heart throb but is a total man whore him and James put the pranks into action, Remus Lupin, he is the shy but cute one I suppose he could be another school heart throb if he talked to people especially girls every once in a while but he seems to give them a very wide birth, his role is to make sure the pranks are successful I don’t know what James and Sirius would do without him, last but not least peter there isn’t a lot you can say about peter he is really quiet around people apart from us lot no one knows why he is a marauder but I think he could be there to make James and Sirius seem more gorgeous!"

All one sentence!!! It would be much better if you broke it up, maybe a sentence per person, with a few extra comma's etc as well.

Also, some of the dialogue confused me a bit, over who was saying what. If you leave an extra line between different people speaking, it's much easier to understand and is much more readable. Like this:

"Hi," she said.

"Hey," he replied.

"You alright?" She asked.

"Yeah, thanks. You?" He answered.

It's much easier to understand with the extra gaps in between different speech things.

It was good though, =)
I thought this bit was sweet:

“W...What you a…all staring a...at” I started to sob. Sirius let go of me and instead of walking away like any other sane person would, he hugged me tightly and placed his chin on my head.
“Sh…tell me what happened please, so I can help you out.”

=)

Author's Response: thank you
i swear my english gets worse lol
i will keep them things in mind
and will edit as soon as possible!
thank you for taking the time to review,
thanks again
xx


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Review #4, by AlbusSeverusPotter Weekend

23rd April 2009:
Please continue on writing and don't let lack of reviews discourage you, this story always has me laughing and I can't wait until the story continues. By the way to get more reads and reviews on a story a banner is really good and if you don't know where to get one there is a really good website the-dark-arts google it.

Author's Response: hey thank you so much
i have just requested for a banner acctualy but i had to get my sister to do it all for me because i was getting all confused!
i have started a new story and have got to wait for it to validate before i can put up a chapter for this story, but i do have a chapter waiting,
thank you again and it should be continued soon
luv tink_4_lyf xx


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