david bowie and redemption song and possibly unintentional feminism yay!
and they're in a band!
onwards!! Report Review
Oh... so I'm not a stalker or anything :D really... :D Ah well... I guess there's something to say for updating this soon. I'll be looking forward to it.
Really though, you're a fabulously talented writer, you know that, right? I really wish I had some of that. I love all your stories I've read so far.Author's Response: Haha no I see that :P Honestly, I wouldn't get your hopes up for an update - don't really see it happening any time soon.
-Hides- Thank you so much! I've got plenty of rubbish stories out there, don't worry about that! Thank you so much for all your reviews, they've been fabulous =] Report Review
Okay- brilliant, as usual. Indi... so, you're Indian? Or Asian, I take it? Just a question, though, not meant to cause any kind of alarm or offence. I am. Indian.Author's Response: Ahhh nope. Not at all actually haha. I don't think there's any Indian or Asian in me at all.
Thanks for the review! Report Review
Observation: She on first name basis with her aunts and uncles.Author's Response: Ahh yep. I thought most people were? Guess not! Report Review
I really think that Lily is a bit of a Mary-Sue. I'm yet to see any faults, and the physical descriptions... Oh and in the epilogue Harry specifically states that Albus is the only one of his children to inherit Lily's eyes. But I do like the plot, I think Calico is great and I've laughed out loud more then once. 6/10Author's Response: Oh to be sure, to be sure. No denying that, although I don't quite agree with you about the faults thing. Did he really? I take far too much artistic license when it comes to Next-Gen I'm sure. Have to say I am rather surprised you like the plot, I honestly think it's the weakest part of this entire thing. Likewise, I think Calico is far more Gary-Stu than Lily is Mary-Sue, I guess not though.
I am glad you were able to laugh, this is one of my earlier stories - not a fantastic bit of writing I know.
Thanks for your critique, an honest opinion is always helpful! Report Review
lol smooching aye :P
it was really good Jack i love the McG inferi from space lol nice descriptionAuthor's Response: Ohh just a little bit :P
I'm glad you liked it, I'm thinking of doing a re-write actually - so look out for that when NaNo finishes ^^ Report Review
Ahh good job. You've gone and gotten me addicted to another one of your stories, distracting me from my homework and whatnot. I blame you! What a horrible person!
Haha just kidding. About the horrible person thing, I mean. The rest, I'll have to stand by (: Amazing story though. I must admit that you have a way with the characters in your stories. Especially lovelovelove the Lily/Calico love/hate/friendship/almost-there-but-not-quite thing going on.
I wouldn't be surprised if I fell in love with another one of your stories. Keep up the great work :DAuthor's Response: -Hides- Well at least it's kind of a good thing right? We all need at least one story to keep us distracted from real life!
Oh well seems reasonable then :P Oh thank you, I've always cared far more for characters than i do plots - which is reflected rather obviously. I love Lily and Calico to pieces, Lily especially - just completely adore her. I'm considering a re-write of this actually. So I'll keep the characters but think up a proper plot this time, not just let things careen along!
I would be! None of the others are any good at all. I am considering writing a fic about Lucy though. Just wrote a tiny little one-shot about her and the character really came to life - might see if that goes anywhere.
Thanks so much for reviewing, and for being willing to give my stories a try, I really do appreciate it! XD Report Review
when is the next chapter comingAuthor's Response: Honestly? Not sure. When I get the time and inspiration to write it most likely =] Report Review
CALILY KISSED. My life is complete. Gorgeous story, well done.Author's Response: They did! Haha it's not a fantastic story by any stretch of the imagination, but I am glad you've enjoyed it so far ^^ Report Review
Meh? Meh? Rachel? Calico? No Calily (see what I did there?) ?Author's Response: Are you super-subtly trying to hint that I better give you some Calily soon? Just maybe? Report Review
hey, so ive read all these chapters but i felt like it would be rather redundant to review each one since basically what i have to say is that its great. that said, i do have some criticism, but do keep in mind that the storys great, things just always seem to come out harsh. so what bothered me in this story was how quickly things moved because it made it seem a little choppy. the kiss, for example happened so quickly that i almost missed it. i know that was sort of the point, but maybe if you had described it in more detail or if lily had thought about it more or something. i realise her character is supposed to be very impulsive but somehow i wish the narration was a little less so, maybe with more reflections or if conversations were longer or something. the story seems to tell about 10% of the days/lives/etc of the characters, so maybe if there was more detail the characters would have more chance to be developed. i feel like a lot of character development happens in the authors notes at the end of the chapters. i do love that a lot of things happen (it keeps it from getting boring) but reading this story is getting a little exhausting. i do like it though.
so if that wasnt incomprehensible enough. the story really is very good and please do update soon! ;)Author's Response: Haha man, this story is definitely deserving of some criticism. Anyone, point is I'm definitely willing to take it onboard. If you came to this after Monday, Monday I can definitely understand why you would be disappointed :P
Okay - read through the whole thing properly now. I won't try to address your specific points because really, you're spot on. Well, except for the kiss - because I don't quitee agree about that.
What I thought was most interesting was your point about the importance of separating the characters impulsiveness from a narrative impulsiveness. If I remember correctly, this story was actually the first time I tried writing in first-person so there's my excuse. Works for the character development point as well :P
Seriously, thanks for your critique. It's definitely something I'll work towards in any future chapters. Report Review
“It’s Quidditch!” I exclaimed.
“Err, no no. That’s an owl.”
LOL! Best line, ever :D
Lily was beaten by quite a but of furniture/housing fittings this chapter - the door, the stairs (almost)...haha, not good for her image!
And final squee - ZOMG THEY KISSED! OMGOMOGOMG! How exciting! But she ruined it by punching him. They need to kiss again - NO VIOLENCE!
Update soon, Jack? For me? -pouts-
10/10!Author's Response: Hahahaha I'd forgotten that line! What a funny kid I am :P
I know! Poor Lily, I felt so horrible making all that stuff happen to her. Was really very undignified. Not good for her image at alll...she's still so pretty though.
Of coursee she punched him! Did you really expect anything else? Can't exactly promise no more violence, it is Lily after all.
I'm writing it! Really, am. Just getting distracted by Ch.4 of Monday, Monday!
Thanks so much for all your reviews for this, I really do appreciate it ^^ Report Review
For sheer smarm he quite simply could not be beaten.
Roger is such a sleaze. I kind of want to smash his face in. Just a bit.
James was on the verge of killing himself. “This is what I came to see Lily? This!”
James was just divine! I love you characterisation of him, he's a bit different (in a good way!) from the usual.
Roxy was great too, I really liked how she defended the 'Puffs. I agree, the Gryffindors were right tossers. And I think you did the Quidditch scene quite well, actually! I'm horrible at those, but yours was really good - fast paced with lots of things going on ^_^ Yet another talent of yours to be jealous about...
:P 10/10!Author's Response: Oh man he is just the worstt. I kind of want to do exactly the same thing! Let's do it together?
Haha I didn't think James was anything special! Definitely not particularly unusual anyway :P
I liked her much, much more than James. I found it amusing defending the 'Puffs seeing as I'm normally their biggest basher!
Gahh you shouldn't have said all that! Now I'm thinking about a James Quidditch fic -headdesk-
You can't make me! Report Review
Umbridge as caretaker?? I was not expecting that!
AND OMG SHE ADMITTED SHE SOMEWHAT LIKED HIM! Bahaha, if that doesn't humanise Lily, I don't know what would :P
Poor review, next will be better -nods- 10/10!
(Say I'm lying about the score again, and I will HUNT. YOU. DOWN. ily ♥)Author's Response: Hahaha well where would be the fun if you knew everything I was going to do hey?
She did! Pretty conditional somewhat though. It's more a 'I don't like you with anyone else.' Am glad she's seeming a little bit more human though :P
You're starting to write like me!
Okays, no hunting me down like Lily. That would be uncalled for and mean -nods- Would totally use that heart if I knew how!
Thank you though! Report Review
Bah, I can't type. I should really read over what I am saying. It probably sounds like complete gibberish 99% of the time.
If you haven't noticed, I've stopped being completely formal for these reviews because, frankly, I am lazy and cbf being helpful for you so I can log them at Aparecium :P So expect some random tangents and useless rambling that will make you think WTF IS SHE ON?
For some reason, I can totally see Lily running after Scorpius with a spear...like the African tribes on Discovery Channel, all painted and stuff. Trying to blend in. Make of that what you will, but I can totally see it.
Humphries, I love him. Too fat to walk? LOL. I imagine him as a sort of walrus-looking person. With his moustache making the tusks. -reads on- AND HE DOES! My metal image is correct...perhaps with Lily too? Come on, you know you want to write her all African-tribesman-esque
“Please. You look like you’ve got a dead squirrel on your top lip.”
Lily is such a cow, I love her.
“Right. Jacko, grab your nose. We’re going to see Domi.”
LOL, she is so casual about it? Haha, I think that would be DEAD FUNNY in a British accent.
I think I might agree with Lily on the subject of Rachel Ellisande. MAY KILL HER. And I will answer your questions:
High drama non? YES! Definitely.
All is not perfect in Calico/Lily land! Who is the mysterious Rachel, why is Lily so upset? RACHEL IS A HORRIBLE FRENCH GIRL OUT TO DESTROY EVERYONE. And Lily hates her a) because she is the root of all evil, but only Lily and I recognise this, and b) because she luuurves Calico. (You're right, Lucy is a sweetheart. I love her!)
What will happen with Scorose? They will live HAPPILY EVER AFTER. This doesn't happen, I may kill you.
And WHY is Dolores Umbridge back at Hogwarts? Er, after years in the Forbidden Forest, she has returned to civilisation to KILL LILY. Well, maybe not kill, but definitely annoy her. Death by annoyance, maybe?
I love squee reviews. I sound quite stupid, yes, but do you like it more? I do. It's fun :)
Excellent chapter! 10/10 (Best one yet, I think.)Author's Response: Hahaha I kind of prefer these reviews in a way. They're completely insane and all over the place and they make me laugh which is always, always fun ^^
...Bahahaha! Can totally see that as well! Except I don't think she'd put in the effort. She'd be more the 'Accio! Avada Kedavra!' type.
Woo! You were right! Guess that means my powers of description are quite simply incredible. Right, right?
She is awful. I love her too.
Of coursee she's casual. She wouldn't be Lily if she freaked out. Haha try and imagine the accent, dead posh of coursee :P
Yes, kill her dead! Hahahaha I can't even write this all properly, I agree with it all! Especially about Lucy. I love Lucy. -Huggles her-
I think I do like it more! And agreed, probably is the best chapter. Thanks so much for putting up with it/me XD
“Hates me for no apparent reason.”
“It’s the unreasonably good looks.”
It's this type of dialogue which is making me completely fall in love with this! It's really, really fantastic - casual, without being too casual and all failure-the-human-race-and-the-decline-of-proper-language. Which is what I sound like, because I sound ditzy. ANYWAY, back on-topic, your dialogue is amazing, and yes, I am completely jealous. It really sounds like two teenagers talking - like you're writing down a conversation you've heard, not making one up. Am I making sense?
Anyway, next topic - you're right. Totally right. Lily is horribly conceited and I absolutely love her for it. Though, I have to say, you have a few enablers in this fic, for Lily's total self-absorbtion - Kingsley (and most of her professors), even Calico to an extent. I guess they've just learnt to live with her inflated head ^_^
There were a couple of grammar errors, mainly with dialogue, but they're easy to spot and really don't take away from anything :) A read over will get rid of them.
And Calico and co. (haha. I rhyme.) got a gig! I love the idea of Seamus running the Hog's Head, I think it's quite clever. I can totally see him as that kind of guy :) And "The Life Drinkers"?? What are they thinking!? I suspect any number of Slytherins are going to have something to say, haha.
Wonderful chapter! I'm really enjoying this. 10/10!
(If I'm not the 200th reviewer, I will be great disappointed -narrows eyes-)Author's Response: Aww yay! I feel sure my writing is subconsciously making up for my complete and utter lack of plotting ability :P
I'm glad it's coming across though - and yep, making complete sense. Getting the informality of teenage dialogue is an absolute killer. It has to be a bit ditzy, because we are, but then it needs to have the potential to be serious as well.
I'm alwayss right xD Lily though... isn't she awful in a completely and utterly win way? I love her as well, quite a lot really ^^
Eww grammar, I'll go back and have a look!
They did! Haha I do that way too much with minor characters. Instead of making my own I just steal them and throw them in where needed. I can actually see Seamus doing that though, so it isn't all bad! Glad you like the band name as well, they're such crazies.
Aww thank you! You're lying about the score, but still XD Report Review
Fortunately enough I was brilliant, verging on genius.
LOL, modest too. I like this older Lily, too - she's grown up a bit, but she's still confident and overachieving. Actually, it's kind of hard to describe her - she sounds like an annoyance when I try to. But, never fear, I understand what I'm saying - never mind if you don't :P
There was just something so inalienably cool about fighting with magic.
And I think this is the first story I have seen where the character admits that magic is cool. Magic is cool, and yet no one ever says so - even in Philospher's Stone, Ron (pureblood, been exposed to magic all his life, obviously) was excited to perform spells and such - WHY? Because magic is awesome. I wish I had a wand. Anyway, I really like Lily's down-to-earthness - she's not afraid to get excited over things she sees everyday.
“I was thinking maybe we could all just have some massive duel, Sir.”
“Excellent. Last person left standing wins. Go.”
LOL! That's such a Mad-Eye thing to do. I love your characterisation of Kingsley - he's one of those teachers you love, but you can't really tell if he likes you or not. That's what I get from him, anyway :)
I really like the dynamics between Lily and Calico (-drools over pretty name-) - it's really a friendship, and none of that so-often-used "she fel a weird tingle up her spine - why?", which is lovely to see.
Excellent chapter! 10/10Author's Response: Haha and that's more like the Lily I was talking about. I know exactly what you mean about her, she is a conflicting character. She does sound like an annoyance, well that's quite a nice way to put it, but at the same time she's likable. Well, that's the plan anyway.
I know right! I need to put way more of that sort of thing in my stories. Magic is just so awesomely awesome. Seriously, I'm so with you about the wand, would just be the best thing EVER and yayy Lily!
That's pretty much what you're meant to get from him :P He's meant to be a bit edgy, a bit withdrawn. Just so they're not really sure whether he actually cares about them at all.
Writing Lily and Calico together is a lot of fun. They just play off each other really well, makes it nice and easy for me :P
Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed this a bit more! Report Review
Hey Jack! So I'm finally here :)
First off, Lily is so bright and cheerful! Nothing like you painted her out to be :P And I really like her relationship with Victoire; it's really fresh to see them having a positive one. Like, usually everyone is like Lily hates Victoire! But here, she doesn't. I like it :)
Also, the tone of this story is really nice too. Lily is so bright and energetic, and that is really shown in the writing style. You can practically see her bouncing about, doing all the things she's describing. And you know what else is good? She sounds eleven. She doesn't sound like she's 40, she sounds like a naive little 11 year old. I like that about this chapter - you can tell she has gown up, at least a bit, by the end :)
I debated whether or not to take Hogwarts A History, then came to my senses and threw it back under my bed.
Haha, this made me giggle. For someone who prides themselves on "academic glory", Lily should have a bit more respect for Hogwarts: A History! I love your humour. It's really fresh and clean, and it doesn't ever feel like you're trying too hard.
It seemed like going to Hogwarts equaled hugs.
Just thought I'd point this out; Lily's so cute. I want to hug her.
I cringed when I saw Neville's kid was Dobby - what a poor child. I think that name is worse than Albus. And that's saying something.
Oh, and this is where I see your ability to infodump with ease ;) I don't really mind infodumping, and it's really alright because it is a prologue. Prologues are made to infodump :)
"...I’m really not that confident writing Next-Gen."
:D 9/10Author's Response: Oh noes! This is not going to end well -hides-
Haha yes, she is bright and cheerful - but at the same time she's completely in love with herself and not very nice to plenty of people. She is only 11 for most of this chapter :P Victoire seems to be quite like Fleur to me, everyone kind of wants to hate her -shrugs- I think she would have just been like the best older sister for Lily ever.
Yay! That was exactly how it was meant to be. Sort of hyper and crazy and OMG HOGWARTS-Y. Writing an 11-year-old girl was really quite different so it's good to know it all came out right.
Ahh well, she probably should. But that's kind of my point about Lily. Respect and reading the books she should are not among her high-points. Ahh well, I'm not trying too hard which I guess would help. I kind of just write and hope it all turns out okay in the end.
Isn't she? -squishes Lily- I love her.
O.o yeah, don't really know what I thought I was doing with that name. Poor boy, it is AWFUL.
It is a pretty spectacular example isn't it? :P
Ouch! Fine. shuts up. Bully.
Thanks Georgia, you remain ridiculously sweet. Report Review
haha funny A/N, and i to hope it doens't take that long time before the next update! so update fast !
they kissed ! *trying not to scream out in happiness afraid of scaring the people around me* even though lily hitt him afterwords, i hope it will be more of that ! there will be more of that. and they will get together in the end, something inside me says i'm right! i'm right, right? if not i'll kill you.
loved this story! and i love the chapter!
and hey since i left you a reviwe, and since i have birthday in two and a half weeks, i think you should send me Calico in the mail ;P haha.
pleas pleas update soon!
LilymillyAuthor's Response: Glad at least my A/N made you laugh! I'm going to try and write the next chapter over the weeks break. Am also working on my Louis story at the moment - so can't promise super regular updates.
Of coursee Lily hit him, can you imagine her doing anything else? As for whether they'll end up together -shrugs- who's to say?
Haha okays, will do - but if he doesn't show up it's because he's been kidnapped mkays?
Thanks so much for reviewing, and for sticking with me through all the delays and everythingg. Report Review
Amazing...so where is he? :DAuthor's Response: Thanks!... But where is who? -confuzzled- :P Report Review
Yey, your back! Typical you update while I'm on holiday but it was a nice thing to come back too. YES, OMG THEY KISSED! I can't wait for more. So yeah update otherwise I will just have to send one of the security guards my dad works with to stand there and not let you move till you update. :D
10/10Author's Response: I am, I am. At least I did update, that has to count for something right? :P
They did! But just so you know, it might not happen again for a while - just because I'm horrible and mean like that. I'm going to finish the second chapter of Monday, Monday first. Then I'll write Ch. 8 of this - so no security guards pls XD
Thank you so much for reviewing! Report Review
My favorite line:
“So,” he began somewhat dazedly “McG isn’t just some Inferi from space then?”
Lol, I can imagine a body just falling from the sky and someone possessing it.Author's Response: Haha thanks for that! I love hearing people's favourite lines, always good to hear you can make people smile.
Thanks again for the review! Report Review
:) Not As good as the others im afraid, i think it shows that you werent quite comfortable with the style yet. It didn't flow as well. But on the bright side: I AM IN LOVE WITH CALLICO :) LALALALLALA. And Im in love with le Lily :) She must be the awesomest of awesome people in the whole wide world :DAuthor's Response: The other chapters of this? No, it isn't really. Hadn't written it for ages so getting back into it was a bit tricky. Lily and Calico are fairly awesome though. Writing them is lots and lots and lots of fun. Lily especially XD Report Review
You've lost so many of your reviewers! That's a shame because this is a gem of a story. I can't wait to see where it goes.Author's Response: I know, I know =[ It's a shame, but at the same time it really is my fault for being so slow with updating. I'm glad you've discovered it though, and even gladder that you actually liked it!
Thanks for reviewing, much appreciated XD Report Review
aw! they kissed!! :)
when will lily realise she's in love with calico and be done with it??
anyway nice chapter, not much drama, but after all we had plenty drama in ch6 so im not compliaining!!
Hope cal & lily get together soon, and i want some major duel's between lily and rachel...!
Mj :)Author's Response: They did! Was it okay?
Hehe can't be too soon right? She kind of knows, but is denying it to herself.
I think the key with drama is too spread it out, keep a little bit going and then a couple of chapters full of it!
Well you're just going to have to keep reading to find out won't you? Can't give alll my secrets away.
Again, thank you so much for reviewing, I really appreciate it! Report Review
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