Gah! I can't believe that's the end. It was perfect and yet it totally left me wanting more. I love how you managed to wrap things up while at the same moment setting up everything we know to follow.
The explanation for how the name The Quibbler came to be was absolutely inspired. It was so perfect, and I love the idea that Capria is sort of there now, in every issue he publishes. And of course the accident. We know where that ends eventually, but I'm so glad you gave them this sort of fluffy temporary ending. They totally deserve it.
Overall, I thought you did an excellent job with this. It's not often I get the chance to sit down and read a whole story in a matter of a few days. Your writing style is clear. Your ability to develop interesting and complex characters is enviable. And your creative touches throughout rounded out the piece and gave it a sense of completeness.
I see from your author's page that you've taken a break from posting stories recently, but I hope you find the time and inspiration to return again soon. It was a pleasure reading your story. I hope you enjoyed getting these reviews and had a lovely holiday. I really enjoyed getting to be your secret santa :) Report Review
I'm almost at the end. Say it isn't so!
Another wonderful chapter, not that I expected anything less. It felt like the tone in this was slightly different from the previous ones, maybe because of the inclusion of all the back story. It removed just a bit of the whimsical air of the piece, but it also felt right. Xeno needed to be told why she ran away from him. And you handled the answer beautifully. The story about the boy breaking her pin was truly heartbreaking.
Despite all the heavy reflection from Capria, I loved the way you still managed to add some humor throughout the chapter. Protecting Your Brain from Drain-Dwellers -- what a perfectly "Xeno" sort of article. And his almost childlike innocence when it came to asking Daphne about why she wants to marry his brother... So sweet. And, of course, him shouting after the bird. What a great mental image that was.
And when his brother handed over his wand? That was so unexpected and so sweet. I know he's just a "supporting character," but I've loved Astrelius throughout.
The way you tied it all together with that line at the end was just gorgeous writing. In this strange way, you've sort of found this simple idea to describe something as complicated as being in love. It's not doing things because you need to or want to, but because you can't imagine doing anything else.
Okay, only one more to go. I have to say, reviewing your story has been such a treat! Report Review
Honestly, this story just gets better and better with each chapter.
The description in this chapter really seemed to shine, not that it was good in all the previous chapters. But right from the start it catches you.
-- The sleeping metal beasts quickly grew warm in the mid-afternoon haze, entirely forgotten by the feet that spun them to life, the feet that had wandered off through the tall grass and onto greater things.
Wow, now that was just beautiful. And the way you described the sugary summer air... Really, you have a wonderful knack for using you physical descriptions to perfectly capture the mood.
And of course, I continue to love the characters. When Xeno says 'thank you' to Capria for bringing him to her parents' grave, I immediately thought of when he took the girlfriend up into the attic. Thank you is exactly the sort of thing I imagine he'd have wanted her to say in that moment. He was trying to open himself to her just like Capria is now doing with him. And the part about not being used to warm was so touching and just more proof of the perfect couple the two of them make.
Ahh, I was so hoping she'd get him to sing! And I love that her reactions was to tell him he was terrible. It's sort of like when she told him he was strange. It's just a fact, not a judgement, and that makes it almost sweet.
So clearly I'm continuing to adore this. I'm off to read the next chapter right now and find out why Capria doesn't want to go to the wedding with Xeno! Report Review
Gah! I just realized after I posted the last review that I meant to say how much I loved the way you handled the idea of Xeno dating a muggle. I can't recall very many other stories around here where a wizards tells a muggle about magic and the muggle all but rolls their eyes and exasperatedly tells the other person they are crazy. But with the way you've portrayed Xeno, it just works so well. He's just odd enough that she can blow it off as just an annoying flight of fancy. Most other characters would either be accused of lying or of going of the deep end.
I guess what I'm trying to say (though not very succinctly) is that you've developed such a wonderfully unique character in Xeno that he feels both real and totally original. It's so nice to read about characters with this much depth to them.
As to this chapter itself, I loved the moment when Xeno and Capria look at one another and declare the other to be "strange." Coming from anyone else (like that terrible girlfriend of his), it might come off as an insult. But between the two of them, it's almost like a compliment.
And that potion... I'm starting to get a bit suspicious. Perhaps Capria knows the only "magic" Xeno really needs is a little confidence. I hope do so hope we'll see the two of them singing together in a future chapter.
-- your secret santa Report Review
Another wonderful chapter! I think I'm starting to detect a pattern here :)
I'm continuing to love the way you're developing Xeno's character. It actually broke my heart a bit when he said, "But you mean so much to me, and I wanted to share it with you." His inability to read people is so tragic and yet so realistic. I think we've all met a few people in out lives who are like this. As terribly mean as his girlfriend is, you can still understand her frustration and impatience with Xeno -- her desire for him to just sort of "get with the program."
Capria is quickly growing on me too. There is so much of Luna in her. She's so unexpectedly insightful, just like Luna often is with Harry. I loved her line, "Muggles can't see what's right in front of their faces." Obviously she's referring to the potion-making, but it also worked on so many other levels -- that others can't see the wonder in the world the two of them see everywhere, the fact that Xeno's girlfriend can't see the wonderful man right in front of her... Okay, I'm running away with myself here a bit, but I do so love when a story has layers.
I'm loving the continued references to Xeno's brother too. The fact that he's getting engaged, making his rent payments, can easily relate to others... it makes Xeno's oddities only all the more apparent, emphasizing how he seems to always be just slightly out of step with everyone else.
I'm so, so glad I'm having the chance to read and review some of this story. It's really just lovely.
-- your secret santa Report Review
What an absolutely wonderful beginning to your story. It was perfectly enchanting from start to finish.
Your take on Xeno's character is so touching and sweet and sad all at the same time. His sort of dreamy inattentiveness and cluelessness with the woman at the start is endearing, and his inability to say 'I love you' is heartbreaking. And I love how you can see right away that she doesn't understand him -- demanding that he "concentrate" on her when he is in fact focused so intently on her eyes. It ever so subtly sets up the idea that he needs to be with someone who understands and appreciates his unusual quirks. And I loved the bit about him having the habit of "peeking" when they kiss. What a brilliant little aside. It really does say something about his...oddness.
I loved they way you introduced his talent for writing here as well. I never really thought about it before, but producing a newspaper -- being somewhat shielded behind it -- is such a perfect job for a man like him. You've laid the groundwork for the Quibbler so well here.
And just what is Capria up to? I assume she'll turn out to be Luna's mother, but what exactly does she have up her sleeve? I can't wait to read more and find out.
-- from your (not so) secret santa Report Review
Okay, I have the biggest grin on my face at the minute ♥ My mum's just about to come upstairs to bed so I'm trying to get rid of it before she asks me what I'm grinning about but that was oh, such a perfect ending. I had wondered about the title, about how you'd chosen it but to round off with those words, it makes the whole thing come full circle and I feel so content now.
I'm so pleased that I finally read this. I won't be making the same mistake again with your writing. I can't believe how talented you are and how much your writing has improved since the first (still amazingly well-written) chapter. I'm just in awe of you, lovely. You're so creative and talented and imaginative. You have two perfectly crafted characters here who take on elements of their canon selves (and their daughter) yet are wholly yours.
I loved every minute of reading it. Thank you for writing such a gem.
xx Report Review
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I'd keep going but I don't think it's allowed.
I'm going to keep this one extremely short. Beautiful doesn't cover it. Stunning almost evokes the right image. Flawless? Will that do? I'm not sure even that is enough. I can't get over how much I love everything in this story and it deserves so much more attention than it has had so far. I shall be shouting my recommendation from the rooftops and insist that people read and review.
xx Report Review
I think this chapter just broke my heart in a way it's never been broken before. I've read some heart-wrenching angst in the past but this gave me a completely different emotion to anything I can recall feeling after reading a story before. It's like a rather profound sadness and disappointment and curiosity rolled into one.
Capria's character definitely developed here and I really like how you make the loss of her family an echo of her daughter's future. There are a lot of similarities between her and Luna which is perhaps what makes her feel so canon.
I find it interesting that you never name the girlfriend. It dehumanises her a bit and separates her from Capria, whose name is like a part of her (it's a terribly pretty name, by the way). The namelessness also makes her feel less important and blends her into 'a thousand other girls', marking Capria out again as something very special.
Two chapters left! I'm so interested to know why Capria refused the invite to the wedding!
xx Report Review
FORGET NASTY MUGGLE WOMAN. CAPRIA ♥
It's so sad that he's had to deal with her for so long. I can't imagine what that would do to someone's confidence. It does make me wonder why she's stuck with him until now because it seems like they weren't a perfect match.
Capria, on the other hand, is a breath of fresh air and I mean that as literally as possible. She is something so new and so creative, so beautifully crafted...I don't even have words but I wish I had the skill to form a character like her and make her believable.
Gina, I always knew you were a talented writer but this story is reminding me just how special your talent is. And also reminding me that I'm an idiot who needs to actually read what she says she will...
I love it
xx Report Review
It really breaks my heart that Xeno thinks he's in the wrong and at fault for his girlfriend's behaviour. You've made me feel very protective of him, even in this short space of time, and I want her to understand why he is the way he is. He's almost childlike in the way that he doesn't understand why she reacts like she does and it's very endearing.
Capria is such a sweetheart too. We know little about Luna's mother in canon but you make it hard to imagine anyone else in the role. She's so cute and I can just picture their relationship, their wedding, Luna's childhood etc., even after only a few scenes with her in. They both have such a special and unique way of looking on the world that you capture in their characters, their dialogue and your beautiful writing style.
I just have two little tiny Britishisms to suggest: perhaps change the baseballs he collects for tennis or cricket balls, because we don't play baseball over here, and change the diner for cafe as we don't have diners here (only mock-American ones but they're rare).
Other than those two tiny nit-picks, this is another wonderful chapter!
xx Report Review
How long ago did I say I was going to read this, Gina? I hate saying the word years but it is exactly that. I know I've promised for so long and I honestly thought I'd at least started to read it without reviewing but I definitely haven't. It would be impossible to forget something as special as this. I shall be giving great words of thanks to whoever devised the fifth review challenge at TGS and encouraging people to come and read.
This is what fanfiction should be, in my mind: taking characters who we barely know and digging so deeply and perfectly into them that you start to wonder where the line between JKR canon and the story's canon begins and ends. When it's impossible to discern any difference, you have to consider the piece of fanfiction to be as close to perfect as writing can ever be. I think this is one such example.
I wouldn't say I particularly liked Luna or Xenophilius in the books (and even less so in the films) and. I admit to rarely reading about either of them on HPFF but when I do, I hate them being done wrong, perhaps more so than people having difficulties with the trio, Snape or Dumbledore. Here, however, you are with a small handful of people who I feel have captured the very essence of the Lovegoods in their writing.
Despite this being only the first chapter, I think Xeno's character came alive. He is obviously very much your own yet I could see him growing up to be the man we met in the books. I could see him as Luna's father. The way you have set up his future as owner of a magazine, the support of his brother, his seriousness about what he believes in, it all rings true with canon. He's wonderful.
I did wonder, to begin with, whether the girlfriend was Luna's mother and was quite alarmed by her characterisation. However, after a few lines, I realised that it wasn't and as soon as Capria made her appearance, it became impossible to imagine him with anyone else. She has this very mystical quality to her, a kind of vibrancy that comes off the page and made her very clear in my mind. I can't wait to see where you take her.
I want to try and review the whole story tonight so I'll move on to the next chapter now but I'm still kicking myself for not getting to this sooner!
xx Report Review
Just read this without stopping- I didn't leave reviews because I was so desperate to move on. I loved this story. It's so interesting and I think you made it easy to see the different traits of her parents that Luna gained. It was just adorable, feel good brilliance! Well done!
Leanne Report Review
It could have been my mood, but I'm willing to bet that the fact I loved this story so much was because it was sugary and delightful. I enjoy the fact that Luna is a bit of both parents, and that both, on their own, are perfectly wonderful. Report Review
Xenophilius cast his brother a brief glance, spotted the iridescent tendrils of sleep encircling him, and shrugged. He knew Astrelius would remember this moment only in cloudy stills, and therefore replied with an indefinite, "Outside" with the knowledge that it would not offend.
Loved this passage -- hazy waking up memories as "cloudy stills" , that's one of the best ways I have ever heard that mental state described. :)
The passage where Xeno rescues the little animal from the cage has both exciting action and character insight. It's too bad his empathy with animals doesn't work with people, or he might have had an easier time relating to his girlfriend.
Feel free to re request in the future, I really enjoyed the story so far! Report Review
Xeno and his Muggle girlfriend -- so sad! I wonder whether he ever showed her any magic, and if so why not... It's even sadder that she thinks he's delusional, not just peculiar. I love how you have developed Xeno's character, his careful consideration of Astrelius' privacy when he wants to propose to Daphne shows that he does have more social awareness than his girlfriend gave him credit for.
I do wonder how the Muggle community the Lovegoods live near views them -- you may get to this in upcoming chapters, I'm just curious. Thanks for another lovely read. :) Report Review
Your portrait of Xeno Lovegood is so vivid-- my heart ached for him in the scene with his first girlfriend; she just didn't understand him very well. You've targeted his young mind so beautifully -- I feel like I really know him after only a few paragraphs. (The lengths his adult persona is forced to in book 7 are even sadder for me now!)
The scene with Xeno and his brother is lively and hilarious... I need a copy of "Protecting Your Brain from Drain-Dwellers" in the worst way lately. The little touches of preparing breakfast and what they were reading brought the scene to life.
The scene with Capria at the end was just lovely. Ahh, permit my little squee. I'm glad you requested, I've been meaning to read this for a while! More reviews soon! (please bear with my slowness :) ) Report Review
Oh noes! The last chapter! I shall miss this story in all it's radiant loveliness, but I suppose that all good things must come to an end at some point.
I really adored your characterizations of Xeno and of Capria. They were two individual people and yet somehow they seemed to fit together perfectly.
I really love how the name The Quibbler was brought about in your story because it's never brought up in the canon and it is quite an interesting name for a magazine. Your reasoning does seem to make sense.
Not that I really anticipated to, but I didn't find any mistakes with grammar, flow, pacing, syntax, or spelling in that chapter. As I've said so many times before I just really appreciate that when reading a piece.
I absolutely love the descriptions and the word choices in this piece, it seems to flow like poetry. I really adore that very much so.
I liked that she slipped on the engagement ring rather than allowing him to ask her. Of course, it was rather forward, but with Capria it didn't seem like she was being pushy or rude rather that she simply knew that one point or another that moment would come up.
It was incredibly adorable. I did want to hug Xeno, though, he seemed a bit disappointed that he couldn't have asked her properly. Though, I think that's perfectly understandable.
Aw, I love the ending. A bit fluffy and all, but it was very sweet. It didn't seem too over the top, either. I love that his stutter finally goes away. He finally got it right, indeed.
linders Report Review
I can't believe it's over! I really enjoyed this story, I thought it was beautiful from start to finish! Your prose is beautiful, the descriptions you use are memerizing and the characterizations are astounding! The pace was perfect, nothing happened too fast or nothing happened too slow.
In all, a perfect story, I'm so glad I finally got the chance to read it. This is one of the best stories on this site.
Xeno and Capria are just perfect for each other. In my head, Capria is canon! You created a couple that I could just root for. I just loved the fact that she found the ring and just put it on. I've never seen that before but it was so pefect for her. And I just loved the originality of it all.
The ending was perfect! This story just made me go 'aw'.
It was excellent.
xxx Report Review
absolutely beautiful! if i knew rowling's email i'd send her the link and beg her to read it!! Its an absolutely lovely lovely story! Report Review
Once again, beautiful start. You captured my attention straight away. Protecting Your Brain from Drain-Dwellers I mean, it seems so canon that he would write an article like that, so much kudos. It's weird, but not weird that it's OTT.
Capria's back story was perfect, well not perfect but you know what I mean. It just fitted her and explained some of her actions in past chapters. I mean, it's so sad that her parents died :(
Xeno out of the window! What a situation! It's easy to imagine and the very thought made me giggle.
Ahhh! Progress! I loved these lines.
“I want you to be my girlfriend,” he declared.
“I want you to be my boyfriend,” she replied, giggling.
And she told him she loved him! I thought it was perfect, even though they just started going out, it didn't feel like it was being rushed because you've built-up their relationship perfectly that I actually felt like going 'about time!' haha. And the last line! I loved it. It was perfect.
What a beautiful chapter. I'm so glad things finally happened with them! Though it does make me sad for Capria's future :( This couple needs to be together forever. Not just for a little while. You've actually made me care so much about these characters. I love them! I can't believe I only have one chapter left.
In all, it was amazing. Report Review
I love how you open the chapters, they are perfect. They chuck you into the situation right away and manage to capture my attention perfectly. I love the way you write everything, especially Xeno and Capria's relationship, it's beautiful. They are just perfect for each other. I mean the words just slow, you have a gift :) I wonder what happened to her parents, I like that she took him to her parents grave, it shows how close that they have become to share that part of her life.
The ending made me feel sorry for Xeno. I wonder why Capria ran away. Hmm. But you wrote his anger and the last part of this chapter perfectly. My heart just broke a little for him.
In all, it was a beautiful chapter and I'm really enjoying this story so far. Report Review
Beautiful. So so so beautiful. One of the best love stories I have ever read--fanfiction and not. It was such a joy to read this! I swear it was hard to pull myself away from it when I needed to.
It is so bittersweet. The happy ending of them being together, but the knowledge that Capria later dies due to her experiments. It's so sad, but I am happy that they got to spend the time together that they did have. And of course that Xeno has a daughter to love as well.
Dem Report Review
Just as beautiful as all the chapters before it.
Capria. She is just amazing. I love the way she excites and calms Xeno all at the same time. She makes him nervous and yet completely at ease. Always on his toes, always wondering. That is an amazing relationship.
I don't even know what else to say, haha. This is amazing. :)
Dem Report Review
I really can't believe how beautiful this is. It just flows perfectly. Your way with words is impressive. It's like nothing I've ever really read before, but it doesn't seem out of place. It fits so well particularly with Xeno and Capria's story. It's just so eloquent.
I'm very curious to know why Capria ran away. I loved the way that you wrote Xeno's anger. And also how comfortable he feels when he is around her. The thought of never seeing her again would bring him to that level of anger--an anger not even seen when the girlfriend he loved called him strange and left him.
I just love this.
Dem Report Review
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