Beautifully written story! I really liked this one! There were virtually no puncuation/grammatical errors, and this story flowed really well. The character development was good, but I think more was needed, especially with Lucius and Alainora. I didn't know the guy in question was Lucius until the end of your story; and I think that you could've really upped the drama in this story by revealing who he was earlier. Other than that...no, I'm sorry, I know you wanted a more critical review, but I really don't see any way you could really improve this story. The imagery was fabulous; it made me feel as though I really was there. This was also a very emotional story; not that it was a tear-jerker, but reading this, I could really feel the emotion and feeling from the characters. You did a great job putting that emotion into the story. Altogether, this is one of the more well written stories that I've read on HPFF. Fantastic job! Keep on writing! :D

snowfallingonroses xx

Author's Response: Ooh, thanks! Characterization is one of my weaknesses, I get so caught up in writing about everything else. ^_^ Actually, not revealing who he was until the end was on purpose, but it's perfectly fine that it didn't turn out as dramatic as it could have. :) I'll definitely keep writing. Thank for the review!

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Wow.

This is an amazing story. It flowed really well and the imagery was fantastic. ^_^
It makes it easier to understand the way Lucius is, I guess. Although, he was still completely conceited, which is good . . . I didn't want him to lose all of his character.

Overall . . . I LOVE this story!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. :D

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Oh, wow. That was good! Amazing work! Keep it up! ^_^

Author's Response: Thank you!

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