This was one of my favorite parts of the chapter:
"Years later, though he never spoke of the incident to anyone, Ron always knew, based on his experiences in this moment, that miracles were possible. For a long time it remained the memory that yielded the strongest Patronus, the thought that could pull him through any trial or tribulation. Eventually it was his joined by his wedding day and the births of his two children as the single happiest moments in his life."
I loved it because I think this was a moment in Ron's life when he was so utterly broken inside, and you really captured that, with the way he pleaded with the Deluminator to help him out, and his happiness when it finally did. I can just imagine how he must have felt when he realized he had a chance at finding Harry and Hermione again, and I really like how you took that emotion and put it in terms of the memory that would produce the strongest Patronus. And the added bits about his future wedding and children...Ron has a wonderful heart, and it makes me so glad when he's recognized for it.
"but the twisted smile of the beautiful figure before him still cut into his heart' crushing him like an unpleasant bug beneath her feet"
That was another great line, because I think that also captures Ron's feelings very well. I think there were times when he really did feel like a bug -- he had a tremendous amount of insecurity, and facing the Horcrux must have been one of the most frightening experiences in the world for him -- even more so than facing a giant spider or a Death Eater.
I didn't mind that you skipped around in this chapter -- as you said, we know what happened already, and I liked the montage effect. I'm sorry this story is over so quickly, although I'm sure you accomplished exactly what you set out to do, which was to explore Ron's absence and his return. I only wish it could have gone on longer because it was truly wonderful to read. I'm not as much a fan of Ginny as I am of Ron, but maybe I'll have a chance to take a look at While You Were Gone pretty soon.
Thanks for writing this!! 10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review.
I'd forgotten, after the chapter was posted, how proud I am of the exerpts you selected here, and it warmed my heart to know you agree that it fit the situation.
I think your statement that "Ron has a wonderful heart" is the most accurate description. I love how J.K. used Harry's friends to balance him out - while Ron and Hermione both present the same capacity for hurt feelings that has been weeded out of Harry, for the most part, from his years at the Dursleys, it would not be innacurate to say that Hermione is the brains and Ron the heart of the trio.
Even from the beginning of the series it was more often Ron who introduced Harry a whole new world of emotion: first the loyalty and camraderie of fast friendship, later the love of a family and the feelings of betrayal when a brother seems to have turned his back on you, and eventually (indirectly, but without Ron Harry would have never been aware of Ginny) romantic love.
It's also a part of what makes Ron & Hermione so wonderful together. Despite whatever tendency Hermione has to think rationally and analytically, that flies rapidly out the window with Ron, and he presents the emotions she would otherwise try to deny - anger and love.
I'm sorry, I didn't intend to make this reply so long, but I simply love the way you detail your reviews, and the ideas you share in them. I'll be eager for your opinion when I next write a Ron-centred fic, or if you're feeling like dabbling into other characters' stories. Report Review
great chapter u have here. what's going to happen now? will u update soon please?^_^
Harry and GinnyAuthor's Response: Thank you. I'm afraid that's it though. Feel free to check out my other stories. :) Report Review
I really liked this story in fact the only problem i had with it was the part were ginny told ron about the carrows ( mainly cuz it would take away from the shock of Neville appearance) but all and all on its own it was very goodAuthor's Response: Yes, its not exactly canon with the books, but the way I see it Neville looks a lot worse than Ginny does, because he's more rebellious, and it would disturb him more because it would remind Ron of the way Ginny looked that night, and dredge up a lot of old feelings from that night.
I don't think it Rowling intended it to have actually happened that way, but it was an interesting idea I had and wanted to write out.
I'm glad you liked it anyway, though. Report Review
What I really like about this chapter is how Ginny is the one who teaches Ron a thing or two about life and priorities - and how Ron is humbled by the thought that his younger sister is tougher and wiser than he is. For that reason, I like how you chose to bring Ginny into this story. She's definitely a source of reason.
It's a big lesson for Ron to learn - that sometimes it's enough to just be yourself, whatever that happens to be, and that you don't have to be the best at one particular thing. That's why I like Ron so much - he's a great, likable character, and he's a good person, and he's important to those around him, and he doesn't have to have to best sense of humor or the best grades or the most strength or bravery in order to have a worthwhile life.
I liked the part about Ron carrying Ginny to her room. It was very touching!
Good luck with exams! I'll be watching out for the next chapter!Author's Response: My favourite reviews are the ones like yours - people who understand and love the HP characters and feel I've been relatively true to them.
You're right, it probably was a big lesson for Ron to learn, and is probably what carried him through the ordeal with the locket. (Because I, for one, felt that something must have changed for him to deal as easily as he did with the things locket-Hermione said to him.)
Ron is important because he is exactly the person Harry needs as a best mate, and the fact that he wears his heart on his sleeve as much as he does is part of what makes him so perfect for Hermione.
Thanks again for your review and well wishes, and I hope to hear from you again in a few weeks, once I've finished this story, for your opinion on the final.
This is such a good story, really original and fun to read. Please update soon!Author's Response: Will try. (Cute account name, by the way.) It will be hard because it's moving into a busy time of year for me, and I'm struggling to figure out exactly how much of Ron's return to include. Thank you for your feedback, and feel free to browse my other stories. Report Review
this chapter is awesome. i hope everything goes ok with Ron. anyway what's going to happen now? will u update soon please?^_^
Harry and GinnyAuthor's Response: Working on the last chapter now. I'll try and get it up ASAP. Thank you again for your consistent and positive feedback. It's always supremely appreciated. Report Review
This is getting interesting. what's going to happen now? will u update soon please?^_^
Harry and GinnyAuthor's Response: I have the next chapter written, it's a matter of getting posted and validated. So there should be more soon, yes. Report Review
Great start 4 the 1st chapter.^_^
Harry and GinnyAuthor's Response: Thank you. Report Review
This is a really interesting idea! Your characterisation is spot on! Please update soon, I look forward to reading the rest of it.Author's Response: Thank you. I'll try to get more up soon. Report Review
Excellent chapter! I thought everyone was very in character, and despite the overall tragic aspect of Ron's dilemma, there were some parts that were very funny (for example, when Ginny says, "Please don't ruin it by speaking.")
I thought Ginny's reaction was very believable - family comes before everything, and she was just glad to see her brother alive.
I would be so glad if you decided to make the story longer! There's so much in DH that would be great to see through Ron's eyes. Even if you decided to confine this story just to the period of time where Ron is at Shell Cottage before finding Harry and Hermione again, I would love to read a sequel that deals with the events after he returns.
(Oh, and when I reviewed the first chapter, I forgot to tell you that I thought the descriptions of Ron's anger in the beginning, and how the locket affected him, were excellent.)Author's Response: Thank you very much.
A lot of reviewers have been suggesting that I extend the story into Ron's return, and I have to admit the idea is now sounding tempting.
And the first chapter is definitely one of my favourites that I've written.
I'll try to get some more posted soon. Happy reading! Report Review
I really like the idea of having Ginny come to stay and interact with Ron, actually. (Sure, it's not canon, but how many of these fics really are?) Ginny seems like she has such a strong moral compass (that's the only way I can think of putting it) that I'm very interested in seeing how it all plays out.
I think you're keeping Ron pretty well in character, and Fleur too, for that matter. Ron seems like the kind of person who'd keep quiet for a really long time and then finally have a paranoid outburst, like he does in this chapter with Fleur.
The idea of Ron's daily rituals is very eerie, and a good way of illustrating what he's experiencing. Instead of just going through what he's thinking, you show these actions that make his feelings tangible somehow.
At first I thought it seemed a little bit dramatic for Ron, but then I got to thinking...first of all, we don't know a whole lot from canon about exactly what Ron does when he's upset and by himself. And secondly, after experiencing an upheaval like this, where he left his friends, a person's normal behavior could change a great deal.
So, all in all, I am definitely enjoying it so far.Author's Response: Firstly, I just wanted to thank you for your very thorough review.
It's true that not a lot of fan fics are completely canon, and I feel that taking a 'what if' approach to the characters and story is a good idea once in a while.
I know the idea of Ron having daily rituals may seem rather eerie, but he's quite emotionally damaged at this point (having a piece of Voldemort's soul work its way into your mind is not an easy thing to deal with) and the two people he'd normally go to for advice are (for all he knows) completely furious, and never want to see him again. Especially since Ron has finally started to become aware of the depths of his feelings for Hermione, he'd be more than a little lost at this point. (And getting clausterphobic, he is stuck in a small house with newlyweds, after all.)
I'm glad that you seem to agree with all my choices thus far. Don't hesitate to keep giving me your imput. Report Review
It might be slightly out of canon, but it is very interesting so far.Author's Response: It does require a rather large suspension of disbelief, in that Ron would never tell his friends. Report Review
Very nice! Great style and very beleivable and in-character. I agree that when you get to Ron rejoining Harry and Hermione, you might want to stick more to his thoughts. It would be nice if you took it all the way through the return to Shell Cottage.Author's Response: Thank you. I'll definitely do that if I do end up continuing the story. Report Review
I really like this. It's a neat idea, and I like how you're portraying the characters. They seem very true to form. The emotions are very real. If you do change it to a short story I'd recommend going through Ron's thought process when he comes back (the whole saving Harry, telling Hermione thing). I wouldn't use all of the dialogue, rather his thought process as it's happening. It would be a neat way to sum it all up.
Great job and I can't wait to read the rest of it!Author's Response: Thank you very much. In my drafts I'd finished at the Deluminator, but your suggestion has got me thinking about continuing it. Either way, I appreciate your review and I'll try to get the next chapter posted soon. Report Review
Ah, just as good as the first bit! :D I'm really, really enjoying this. Everyone is perfectly in character, I can just picture this actually happening in the books. And I like the insight into what went on behind-the-scenes in DH. Really, really excellent. I look forward to more!
Oh, and no, it's not too short at all! Sometimes I think author's go overboard, because, really, not all of us have attention spans that last for 6,000 words :PAuthor's Response: Thank you for your feedback. Personally, I'm fascinated by the 'missing moments' from DH. I'm actually working on a story right now that follows Ginny while the Trio is off on the Horcrux hunt. I've got to finish up this first though, before I start posting.
I'm glad you like the current lengths. I'll stick to it. Report Review
keep going, its good!
Weasley is our king!Author's Response: Truer words were never spoken. Report Review
I really, really enjoyed this! You write very well, I can get right into the story :) And the the the characters are perfectly in canon, which earns major brownie points from me :D
Awesome job.Author's Response: Thank you very much. Chapter 2 should be up soon. Report Review
yes, I agree this is what happened...I'm glad you've written it down as this is how it was in my head. I would have liked to have see how Ginny reacted to Ron's prescence but hey ho, it was fun anyway thank you! xxAuthor's Response: Yeah, I'm still trying to work that out and add it in. It should be interesting. Your review is very much appreciated. Report Review
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