Hey, Realize here from the forum to give you a review.
Alright, your beginning really seemed to grab me, it was confusing because it began with a boy and him doing well we had no clue, and then we had her panicking about her not being able to hear him. I think that you should redo your beginning because it caused me to get really confused, and honestly, I wanted to stop after reading the third paragraph, it was just repeating everything. It took a while for me to get interested but once I knew that it was from Nevilles momís point of view it became a lot more interesting.
I feel so bad for Neville and his parents. I cannot imagine what it would be like to only remember a few things and not know what is going on or not being able to respond when someone talked to me or looked at me. I love how Neville is like their medicine they need him to bring them happiness, and because he is alive then they have a reason to live.
Overall, there are some things that you need to work on, but if you fix those things then this might be a really good story. 7/10Author's Response: Thank you for the reading and reviewing. Report Review
Oh, wow, that was amazing!!! I loved it!!! I've never read a story like that before and it was really, really great. You captured Alice's life so well, and her emotions were amazing! Nice work!!!
I only found one minor minstake. Neville talked about the Tournament, and Alice thought he was older because Harry was old enough to be in the Tournament. Well, if my memory is correct, to make the Tournament easier and safer, Harry's year was the first year they put an age limit on it. So in Alice's time, a younger student could have entered.
But that's all. Wonderful, wonderful job!!! I reallt enjoyed it. It was fabulous!
~long_live_luna_bellatrixAuthor's Response: Wow, I never even thought of that. The age restriction was a new thing. Huh...I'll have to fix that at some point.
Anyway, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. Report Review
Hi, WeasleyTwins here to review as you requested! I am sorry for the delay :]
Wow, wow, wow. I have never read a story in which Alice was the main character, not to mention that she's incapacitated. I found the descriptions inviting and deep, but so sad and depressing. Your characterization of Alice was just beautiful. How she found sanity in Neville was absolutely amazing. It showed that a mother's love, even if one such mother doesn't remember loving at first, can endure through anything. I liked that Alice and Frank had a long moment of sanity when Neville told them of the defeat of the Dark Lord. It displayed that even though Alice and Frank are insane, they understand the significance of the defeat of the greatest dark wizard of all time.
Overall, I found this quite enjoyable, but so depressing. I suggest that you ask for a whole bunch more reviews because I'm sure that many, many people would enjoy reading this.
ShelbyAuthor's Response: Wow, I'm really, really glad you like it. Thanks so much for the kind words and for reading and reviewing. ;) Report Review
Drifting is an absolute masterpiece! It's an unbelievably, beautifully written piece, and it actually made me cry!
I don't think you should change it!
This is my 1st review! YAY!
I've not read any of your fanfics before, but I'll check out your other works now, cos you're fantastic!
MithraMayhemAuthor's Response: Wow, I can't believe I made you cry. That's one of the biggest compliments I can receive when I write angst. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading Drifting. Thank you for reading and reviewing, and I hope you like my other works. Report Review
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