Reading Reviews for The Second Life I Lead
  
31 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Secret Santa :* The First Day Back

23rd December 2013:
Hi there!, Grace :) I come bearing gifts in the form of a review.

I'll start off with a confession. I'm not a Dramione shipper, so this was really really new for me! I read this chapter without looking at the warnings, so I didn't realise that this was going to be AU :P So I had a lot of questions, but I guess they will be answered as you go on with this story!

I really like the premise of Hermione leading a second life as a muggle as it will give us the chance to see how she juggles both her her lives, and whether or not she successfully manages to prevent the two from mixing. I'm quite excited by the idea! However, I felt that you could have set up her character in a slightly more substantial manner. I guess it was weird for me to read about Hermione in the way that one would read about a fashion-ista or diva or something! I'm so used Hermione with-her-nose-permanently-in-a-book Granger. :P Which is probably why I felt that way. It's just that, if I'm not wrong, you wish to write about her leading two separate lives, but I don't know if she will be so drastically different in them.

I really like how you've described Jess. Even though there wasn't much about her, I'd like to read on and find out! :) She seems like a very close friend. Someone who's dependable and she appears to be really REALLY close to Hermione. I'd like to see how you develop that relationship because in the books, you mostly see her bonding and getting along well with guys.

And Sam and Matt sound really cute too! I really like the comfortable and easy-going relationship they seem to have with Hermione. I hope it stays this way. It isn't forced at all. And the physical description sounds HOT ;) And twins? TWO!? YESS! :D Good things, Grace. Good things! I totally squeee'd :D

Thank you for this, and even though I'm not a Dramione person, I'll see how this fares for me!

HO HO HO! Merry Christmas!
Love
Secret Santa XOXOXO

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Review #2, by Perdaha_Obssesed Getting Familiar

30th October 2013:
Please keep the chapters coming. I love the plot of this story and I find it really cool. If you want anyting, you can send me an email, its on my authors page. I know obessesed is spelt wrong. I did it on purpose. thanks bye. If you can read my fan fic Broken Foundations. ;)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I am glad you are enjoying the story so far :)
I will try and find some time to read your fic as well :)

Grace :)


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Review #3, by maraudertimes Getting Familiar

20th October 2013:
Hi!

Okay so backstory! Yay! I wanted that! Also, Hermione should be a little harsher with Blaise and Draco if you want her to come off as not liking them.

Also, I'm excited to know what happens next. Please update soon or I'll pester you! Well, after NaNo I will :P

Good job!

Lo :)

Author's Response: Hello hello!!! :D

Yup, I decided back story was needed as the story is starting to get somewhere. That is true, I will throw in some insults :P

I will update very soon I promise :P

Grace :)


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Review #4, by maraudertimes School Mates and Cows' Eyes

20th October 2013:
Hey hey!

Okay, so I feel like the Hogwarts kids should sound more British. Does that makes sense? I don't know how to explain it.

Also: contractions! And maybe think about getting a Beta.

Another thing, Hermione never did say anything about what Blaise and Draco accused her of not having, she didn't even imply it. So that part was a little confusing.

Other than that, I really liked it! Good job! Now I'm off to read the next chapter!

LO :)

Author's Response: Hello again!!

Hmmm, it does make sense, I will look into that.

I am thinking about getting a beta for this, but want to write a bit more of it before I do so, so the beta has something to do :P

Hm, I'm a bit confused about that myself, so will have to go and look back and change it :P

I'm glad you enjoy it, I've had this story for ages!

Grace :)


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Review #5, by maraudertimes The First Day Back

20th October 2013:
Hello, hello!

I am intrigued by this. Very intrigued! I would like to know how Hermione got to New York, but hopefully that'll be explained in later chapters? *wink wink*

Anyways, this seems like a fun piece, and I'm going to stop reviewing now, other than to tell you: typos! But not many, so good job!

Also, I like it! Off to read the next chapter!

Lo:)

Author's Response: Hey Lo!!

I would hope you would be, this is a long time coming story that (hopefuly) i will finish eventually!

Ah typos, I will fix them, promise :D

Thank you for reviewing :)

Grace


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Review #6, by Cannons Getting Familiar

18th October 2013:
Hi, just thought I'd review this one as well.

Like I said when I get over the fact that they're not at Hogwarts and everything it's enjoyable. I actually quite like how they are all getting along with each other at the moment, maybe the calm before the storm?

The twins seem like a lot of fun.

I absolutely love how you've written Malfoy, he's my favourite so far. So funny when he was trying the scotch, can't wait to see what other muggle things he lowers himself to..maybe a fast food restaurant!

You're description of the penthouse was great as well, she must be LOADED.

So overall, I think you're building this up in to something that's going to be really quite good!

Cannons

Author's Response: Hehe aww thank you for yet another awesome review :D

Haha i know! its hard to get over that fact, at this point it may be easier to see her as an OC but she comes more into herself, don't worry!

The twins ARE a lot of fun! They seem crazy and fun and outgoing, they bring out the good in Hermione. Like harry and ron really :P

haha i like draco too, i think he is an interesting character, you see him in more interesting situations so :P

Oh awesome! Her family definitely is yes, more of that comes into play soon :)

Yay! So happy you like this :D

Thank you again :D

Grace


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Review #7, by Cannons School Mates and Cows' Eyes

18th October 2013:
Heya, back again!

So basically...I noticed that you first wrote this in 2009 which is ages ago, and I think your writing has got much better since then!

I prefer your other story because it's more familiar, and the characterisation is more realistic, however I know the whole point of this is to be out of character.

I hope we get to see some magic in this incorporated some how. I just can't see how they'd all end up in a muggle summer school!

But anyway I enjoyed the way you wrote Draco I thought he was actually quite realistic, and funny, although I don't think he would have backed down from Sam so easily. You got Pansy spot on as well! I hate that cow!

I liked it when you did this - ' One chair down, sitting with his mouth wide open with shock, was Draco Malfoy. How cliche is that? I should've known that was going to happen, but it was still a shock. ' that was clever.

and this .. Draco mentally hit himself. This guy is high enough to be in heaven! .. that was funny.

There were two times where you did 'It is..' and I think it would flow easier if it was 'it's' but apart from that it was good.

So in the end if I think of Hermione as an OC, which I sorta do (since the smoking bit) then I can enjoy it, the scene at the end was so funny, we had to do something like that before and it was SO disgusting!

Oh and your OC's are so fun, especially Renan, I like how he and Malfoy became mates...maybe a little love triangle gonna happen there or something?

haa..I'm going to read the next chapter now anyways..

Cannons

Author's Response: Hello once more! I am loving all these reviews, I am very privileged :D

Oh yes, I wrote it ages ago, to be a much more rebellious story, but i have edited it alot.

I understand why you'd prefer the other one, I personally do as well, hehe, but i still have a soft spot for this, because it is new and unexpected and i can be real different with it.

We do get magic incorporated later on, i have not planned too far ahead on this one, so have a lot to go and plan :)

I like Draco in this! He seems fun and outgoing here, with a hint of mystery :D And him and Renan do end up as good friends, but something may get in the way :P

Oh my goodness, isn't it gross!!?? I thought it would be a good comedic relief :D

Thank you so much for all of your reviews, They are all great :D

Grace :)


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Review #8, by Cannons The First Day Back

17th October 2013:
Hi Blondie!

Well, I can defiantly notice the difference in this Hermione, she seems way more confident and in to designer things, then your other Hermione. Also your other Hermione doesn't live in a 5 bedroom penthouse with a walk in wardrobe, but a humble cottage! haa all jokes aside.. I think this is such a interesting plot because I am literally sooo confused right now!

I'm asuming this is a muggle summer school? since her best friend is a muggle? So I'm totally thrown as to what, I mean how, Draco will end up there...

It reads really easily, the paragraphs are nicely spread out and even (i'm not ocd I swear ;) )

I think her and this Matt may/could get up to something? maybe Draco might kill Matt! haa this is such a weird situation that I'm soo excited to see where this is going!

Cannons!

Oh last thing I was going to ask you how you find writing to different stories with the same ship? do you ever get confused and write the wrong Hermione for the wrong story.(does that make sense?)

Author's Response: Hi Canons!

Thank you so much for taking the time to review again, I love all your reviews :D

Oh yes, she's a different person in this story, at least for the time being. You definitely learn a lot more int he coming chapters about her and her life here, so I hope that helps :D

It is a muggle summer school yes, We learn more about Draco's reasoning behind being there in the next chapter. Its more for safety than anything else.

Oh awesome, yay! That means alot when it can be read easy and not distracting :D

Oo maybe, they are technically cousins, but not by any relations, more like flatmate/friends. Guess you'l just have to keep reading. :P

Haha well both of my WIP Hermione are distinctly different, so that makes it a bit easier to depict the difference. Though there are sometimes where i'm like ' i wonder if i should make these two more like each other' but i try my best to keep them separate.

Thanks again!!

Grace :D


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Review #9, by prefectperfect Getting Familiar

15th October 2013:
This is actually really good! Love the description of the penthouse :) xx

Author's Response: Naww, thank you Jayde! I wanted to do a good description, so happy it works! :D xx

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Review #10, by bellatrixlestrange123 The First Day Back

30th September 2013:
Okay so I'll be honest, as soon as I saw that this was a Dramione Fic, I couldn't scroll past it, plus your summery was very eye catching and fresh and instantly made me want to read on.

Okay, so after reading this chapter I think you've created such a brilliant paradox from the classic and tailored Hermione we all know, The Hermione you created was much more of an OC style character, but you know what? It worked! giving Hermione a very prevailing and an almost avant-garde type of personna is obviously a very big part of the story as a whole but it really entices me, as a reader, to carry on reading since it's always nice to read something fresh from time to time. I will admit, I did find Hermione to be a little bit vacuous but that's the whole point and i guess that's the whole point of writing fan fiction isn't it? To stray away from the quintessential persona's of characters.

Anyway, I'll happily review any other stories that you might like me too! Just PM me whenever! Well done and keep up the good work! :)

Author's Response: Hi hi! So sorry it has taken me so long to reply, uni is kicking my butt at the moment.

Oo hehe, yay! I have had this story in my head for...yearss. And I am trying to continue it, but easier said than done when you have no time *sigh*

Un-canon Hermione works? Yaaay!! I am glad you think so. I wanted to make her a bit more fun and confident without losing too many qualities that makes Hermione, Hermione. So I am glad that it works in so far and the idea of the story is enticing. It is one I have a lot of faith in, I just need time to write it first :P

Oo, I will definitely take you up on that !! And vice versa my dear!!

Thank you for a lovely review!

Grace :D


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Review #11, by prefectperfect School Mates and Cows' Eyes

16th September 2013:
I LOVE this, made me laugh so much!!

Can't wait for the new chapter :) xx

Jayde :) xx

Author's Response: Oh I'm so glad it did! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter :)

I am currently halfway through the next chapter for this now, I just wanted to get my one-shot finished and written up, so will hopefully have it submitted this week :)

Grace xx


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Review #12, by patronus_charm The First Day Back

16th September 2013:
Hello Grace! Haha, weíre developing a pattern of reviewing each otherís work! I havenít read the chapter yet so I canít really judge your characterisation of Hermione, but you could always add AU to the genres and say in your authorís note that itís different that way you wonít have people thinking you did it on purpose. Itís just an idea :)

Just a tiny, weeny thing punctuation wise, Ď".Hello.?" Ď I would get rid of the ellipses before the speech and replace it with an action e.g. they froze up, shoulders hunched to show the pause, as it just looks a little weird having it at the beginning of the speech.

I sort of like the new Hermione as she seems a bit more out there and different to the usual one. Mixing up characterisation is always fun so you should never let other peopleís comments put you off it as itís for you to decide not them. I liked the sound of her friend too as she seems to match Hermioneís personality.

One small improvement in regards to the friend. I was a little confused about who was Jess and Mimi were they the same or were they different? Also how are they related to Hermione? Just slip in one line somewhere about it and youíre good! Itís just to ease the reader in as I was little lost in the opening part.

Iím intrigued about how she ended up in New York and where Ron and Harry are as there were no thoughts about that, so I hope thereís some more backstory later on. Just remember not to make it too muggly and New Yorky because that will take away the magical feel, so have a New York version of Diagon Alley or something so it doesnít feel like a Muggle story or whatever.

Oh so Hermioneís Mi/Mimi, maybe if you clarified it a little more it would be better. The twins sound really interesting and I canít wait to get to know them more. I guess the thing Iím most keen on is backstory as to why sheís there and where the others are. Itís the opening chapter so itís great you didnít make it a filler one and dump a load of info on us at once, I just hope it crops up soon!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello! Haha we, tis a very cool pattern if I say so myself :P

I have been tempted to do that, but she does grow back into herself quite a bit over the story, so I haven't so I am thinking of just adding a note about it to the beginning just the let people know that she begins quite non-cannon.

Okay! Will definitely look into that. Am also oohing and ahhing about getting a beta for this story but I haven't decided on that yet.

It is fun! I have a lot of fun writing her here because she is a bit different and more confident. I'm glad you like her currently!
Jess is my favourite character in this, and she's a lot of fun to write as well :)

I will look into clarifying the Mimi/Hermione difference, obviously I've made it a bi cofusing there, so will clear that up!

Ooooh NY Diagon Alley.. Will definitely look into that!

Yup we definitely get backstory, that is in the chapter I am writing now (Draco asks a lots of questions), I just didn't want to place too much in the introduction that is supposed to be short and sweet.

Thank you for a great review! I may just have to come back and re-request :P

Grace


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Review #13, by MC_HK School Mates and Cows' Eyes

13th September 2013:
Hellooo!

So this was an interesting chapter to see Draco and Hermione meet for the first time since Hogwarts. It was also very fun to meet all of the other characters! I find Jess's character to be very funny :) I do like your writing, I just can't get used to the non-canon Hermione, so the reviews might not come across as enthusiastic, and I deeply and sincerely apologize for that.

I did find a lot of grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors in here though :( And I think it's a bit odd that there is a part where Blaise and Draco are talking that you kind of change the format of the storytelling, kind of? Haha, it doesn't make sense when I write it out, but like you just have their names as if you're quoting them, which I find a little off. I also want to know why they're going to a muggle school. Aren't there wizarding schools in America? I think you should include that detail in here.

Anyways, nice chapter!

-MC_HK

Author's Response: Hello!!
I'm sorry I have taken so long to respond, I'm here now!

I'm glad you are interested in the characters. That's completely okay! I know this won't be a story for everyone. Hermione grows into becoming canon over the story, which when I bring up my new chapters will be shown. I just wanted to show the contrast in these first chapters, so hopefully you may find it a bit more enjoyable later on i you decide to continue reviewing :)

Haha oh I do? I didn't even notice! These are (yet again) going under edit construction so will clear up the mistakes and spelling.

I haven't out them in a wizard school because of all the commotion from England does echo to America. there is more on this in the next chapter I am writing actually!

Thank you reviewing this, it really means alot :)

Grace


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Review #14, by MC_HK The First Day Back

12th September 2013:
Helllo!

I don't see why people would give this a bad review, it's not bad at all. I mean, if you want to write Hermione OOC, then you can, so I don't mind. The only think I'd like to see more of is backstory. I think just because it's such a huge change you know, from London to Manhattan, from old Hermione to new Hermione, there needs to be more substance there. Being just thrown into the story that's not a mystery genre without all of the details is kind of overwhelming. Like who are her "cousins", if not her real cousins? Where did all this money come from? Why a penthouse?

Otherwise, I think this was good.

--MC_HK

Author's Response: Oh Yay, I'm glad you thought it was good :)

Thanks for that suggestion, I will definitely look into putting more back story in there. I was going to do it as a mysterious type story but I don't really think it needs that so I will edit this chapter to explain her backstory more :)

Thanks for reviewing! I'm going to re-request right now :D


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Review #15, by silverashes School Mates and Cows' Eyes

30th August 2013:
Hello again!

Another good chapter! You characterized Hermione even further, and I'm continually falling in love with her character over, and over again! And we got to meet Draco this chapter, yay! I share Draco's feelings on Pansy! I wish she had stayed home back in England. She's prissy and always seems to have her panties in a twist; but, alas, she will definitely add some drama. I liked Draco's character. He and Hermione seemed to get along well, which I wasn't expecting. I thought they would have been a little more hostile. Change is good though. I'm glad they could both get over their severe differences and move forward from the past.

I thought the end scene was hilarious. The dissecting an eye made me cringe (that kind of stuff makes me wriggle), I thought the overall scene was fluffy, funny, and kept me thoroughly entertained! There were a few things I noticed throughout the chapter -- nothing big! There were a few places where there were words that needed to be capitalized. Here's one spot!
- ďEW THIS IS TOTALLY DIDSGUSTING! HOW CAN THIS COUNTRY LET THIS BE, LIKE, LEGAL?! ITíS REVOLTING, AND ITíS ALL OVER MY NEW PRADA OUTFIT!!Ē screamed pansy, who had just got soaked by the liquid.

I also think that all of the caps and exclamation points can be a little distracting. It's a little hard on the eyes. I think you can get your point of how angry she is across with just normal lettering! If you describe how she reacts (like when you use the word scream) or maybe say that her face became flushed, you can get the same point across! Also there were a few slight grammatical errors, but they weren't too bad! In the quote above "got" should be "gotten". There were a few other places, but overall nice work! Honestly there was nothing that stuck out like a sore thumb, just some minor things!

The overall plot, story-line, and characterization is awesome! I really like how this story is coming along! I can't wait to find out what happens next!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Ah yay! Your back!!

Haha yeah i thinks she's quite cool in this chapter, a bit more relateable as a character a well. Yup Pansy is horrible, but she's got an important part in the story so can't cut her out yet! *Cries*
Draco and Hermione do get along so far, but you never know what might happen.!

Haha thank you ! I had to do that in my first year of high school, unfortunately minus throwing it everywhere, but i thought it might be something funny to incorporate!

I get what you mean about the caps and exclamation points. I'll go back through this chapter and have a look out for them, as well as the spelling mistakes, thank you!

Ah awesome! I'm just glad you enjoyed it! Thank you again for reviewing!!

Bondie


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Review #16, by silverashes The First Day Back

29th August 2013:
Hello there!

This might be one of the most unique ideas I've ever read, especially for Hermione and Draco; however, I love it so far! I think the uniqueness makes it so interesting to read. I love the fact that you've moved her from England to the Unites States - New York City to be exact. It adds excitement to the story line because she's in a new environment. Not only has the scenery changed, but Hermione, herself, has changed too. I think the new Hermione is more confident, and she's fun to read! I also love her cousins, Matt and Sam. They're the epitome of boys, and I love them. I think it's cool that she's living with them!

I don't think you have anything to worry about in the plot/story-line. I think you have a really good start. It sounds like it's going to get really interesting, especially with Draco coming soon! You have a really brilliant start to a story, and I can't wait to see what comes next! Lovely, lovely, lovely!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Aww thank you for such an awesome review!! I'm glad you liked it!

Yeah I just thought what would happen if we took Hermione and put her in a different place, I just think that she would be more confident, but still somewhat herself, if she had the chance to be around different people, and wham! Story! haha. I love them too, and they get better later on!

Oh wow, that is so nice! You have lessened my woes about people worrying it will just be another mary-sue story. It used to be, but i've changed it so instead of changing Hermione completely, we just get a different side to her, and we see her more confident and fun!

I'll go back and re-request now! Thank you so much!! :D

Blondie


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Review #17, by Ashley Ayoub School Mates and Cows' Eyes

29th August 2013:
please update asap love this story. wish she jumped on draco back instead

Author's Response: Aww thank you! I'm just waiting for my other story's chapter to validate and then i will send in the third chapter for validation! I know but there will be a lot of draco hermione interaction later on! Just got to coax it in, they aren't even really friends yet!

Thank you for reading and reviewing!!

Blondie


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Review #18, by Ashley Ayoub School Mates and Cows' Eyes

29th August 2013:
please update asap love this story. wish she jumped on draco back instead

Author's Response: Thanks! :)

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Review #19, by Layla School Mates and Cows' Eyes

28th August 2013:
This is so amazing. Pls write

Author's Response: Thank you !! I have more chapters, just have to wait for my chapter for the other story to validate and then I'll post it! :)

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Review #20, by HPfan School Mates and Cows' Eyes

6th November 2010:
I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH! PLEASE UPDATE SOON! I WANNA READ MORE! :D

Author's Response: thanks ! i am hoping to have the rest up and going this holidays =]

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Review #21, by Tigermusic School Mates and Cows' Eyes

12th September 2009:
REALLY AWSOME..keep it coming :)

Author's Response: Thanks Alot !!
Im In The Midst Of Finishing So It'll Be Published In A Big Whack When Its Done =]

Gracii


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Review #22, by cha36 School Mates and Cows' Eyes

18th July 2009:
its nice. but isnt there a continuation? :)

Author's Response: Haha Yes there Is, I'v written most of it too, i've just been so busy to go through and edit it so i can publish it ! =]
thanks for reading

gracii


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Review #23, by AlexavieraJRaven School Mates and Cows' Eyes

13th March 2009:
LMFAO! OMG I loved it!

More please soon! This made me actually laugh so hard they wanted to kick me out of the library the first time i read it so i had to come home and review for ya!!!

^_^ 1000/1000 and still one of my Favorites! more soon please!!!

alexa

Author's Response: Haha Thanks !! Lol Sory I Havent Updated yet, schools just opened again so things have been so busy. I'll try update soon

Gracii


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Review #24, by heidi_gurrl School Mates and Cows' Eyes

5th March 2009:
WTF? I know you were trying to make it funny; and you did! But, COWS EYES??? Seriously, thats just taking it too far! eww. i feel sick now, seriously, you could have picked something a little less disgusting!!!

Author's Response: I Had to dissect cows eyes in my first year of high school, so i wasnt that fazed for putting it on here, but thank you for your opinion, and thanks for R&R

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Review #25, by Isabella Potter School Mates and Cows' Eyes

24th January 2009:
haha this story is funny i can't wait for the next chapter UPDATE soon!

Author's Response: Haha Thanks, i'll try update soonish !!

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