First off, I just wanted to say how much I love Regina Spektor and The Call!! It's such a beautiful song! She's such an amazing artist!
So, since I know the song, I started freaking out when you wrote that Teddy was going to join the army. My head was filled with a stream of "Oh my gosh"-es!! And then when I continued reading the story, I almost started crying! It was so beautiful but so sad at the same time!
Anyway, I really love how you connected the story with the song; everything fit really well together. And I like how you went back to things that you mentioned in the beginning of the story, like Victorie trying to remember how Teddy smelled.
-sigh- It was just so beautiful! I'm still so sad! Agh!Author's Response: Thank you! I love that song too. The first time I heard it, I knew I had to write about it. She is awesome, isn't she? =)
Thank you! I'm glad you could feel the connection with the story to the song. I was very inspired and I poured a lot of my emotion into this piece, and to hear that you could feel it too, that's awesome.
Thank you! Report Review
This was just so sad. This was wonderfully written. Good job!Author's Response: Thank you! ♥ Report Review
Wow. I really am not a fan of song-fics, but this was brilliant. You are a very talented writer, and you had me in tears by the end of it. Teddy's decision to join the army was rash...he never thought about the impact this was going to have on his life. Out of all the characters I like, it would have to be Victoire. You gave her a strong front even though it was obvious how vulnerable she was on the inside. I am glad she gradually let go of Teddy but never forgot him. I give you a 10/10
Constants.Author's Response: Thank you! Aw, I'm sorry you cried! But I'm really glad that my writing made you feel so emotional. That's really an amazing compliment - thank you so much!
I'm so glad you liked this because I feel like it was too far out of the HP world to be plausible, but thank goodness it wasn't. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your review. Report Review
Wow, Midna, that was really good. It was a really unexpected plot twist, when Teddy said, "I have to join the army." I definitely wasn't expecting that he'd join a Muggle army. You captured the emotions of all the characters really well, and the whole piece was written brilliantly.
What really lured me in was the summary. "The Call" is probably my favourite song, ever. Top of my iTunes list ... and it was amazing in Prince Caspian. Yoku dekimashita!
- Meera :)Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it. When I heard that song, I just knew I had to write a story about it. Arigatou gozaimasu ^_^ Report Review
Hi there, Laur from ze forums reviewing for you.
I really thought Teddy going into the army was an interesting concept for a fan-fiction and you wrote it quite elegantly. I thought you did a great job! Poor Tedz though, but you could really understand his feeling for wanting to do something more.
Love the song as well, and I think you captured everything quite well.
LaurAuthor's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked this. I was a little scared to put something so muggle as entering the military in this story, but if you liked the way I incorporated it, I guess I did an okay job. Thanks again! Report Review
Hey it's honeybabycakes1013 from the HPFF forums!
Wow, that was literally heartwrenching. Like, I was almost drawn to tears. It was almost painful to read-but in a good way. You put so much emotion and feeling into it, it was literally gutwrenching to read, and I think that's real talent-making your audience really FEEL your story.
I can't critizise grammar or spelling because, besides one or two misplaced punctuations, there really weren't any problems whatsoever.
I think I'll go blow my nose now. ;)
~HoneyAuthor's Response: Thank you! Wow, I'm so glad you liked it. It's one of the best compliments I've ever gotten to hear that you could actually feel it. I was feeling it when I was writing it, so I just hoped that some of that would extend to the reader.
Thank you so much ^_^ Report Review
Oh dear, I almost cried at the end of this =[
I've always thought that you are a fabulous writer and I really can't find much in here that you need to improve! A bit more description, maybe? But even that was pretty good!
But really, this was so sad but so amazing and sweet all at the same time - you have a lot of writing talent! Seriously! I really enjoyed reading and reviewing this and I'd be happy to help you out again any time you need a review =]
~CBGAuthor's Response: Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make anyone cry =( But thank you so much. You've given me so many compliments here I don't know where to start. My description is one of my most prominent weaknesses. Thanks for pointing that out. I really have to work on that.
Thank you! I'll keep that in mind when a new story comes out =P Thanks so much ^_^ Report Review
I think everything I read of yours just keeps getting better and better, Mids. If I was someone who cried when I read things, I'm pretty sure I would be in tears now. As it is, you managed to make me extremely sad. (Which is all very good, for this story. =P) And that's an accomplishment, since I really don't get emotional over stories. *applaud*
Now, I'm also not a fan of song-fics (I think they're just cheating, sometimes) but this was... wonderful. Perfect. The use of the song lyrics weren't to say something that you couldn't say as an author, but rather to emphasize what you had already said. And they fit perfectly. It wasn't forced, it didn't make me raise an eyebrow in confusion, they just flowed, as if the lyrics were truly just a part of the story.
I really loved this story. Honestly, I think this is your best work so far. (That I've read, at least.) And the ending was bittersweet, which you know I'm a fan of. ^_^ Even though I was rooting for Teddy to stay alive the whole time. I mean, I knew that he was going to die, but you still managed to make me surprised (in a way) when I read it. Needless to say, I never gave up hope on Teddy until those two soldiers came in and told Victoire the news.
Wonderful job, buddy! Seriously. You. Are. Amazing. In a simple one-shot, you've managed to write a story that completely enthralled me. The feelings you conveyed in this one-shot would take other authors several chapters to pull off successfully. And you know that I'm not just saying this. I'm always honest with you. ^_^ This is brilliant. I absolutely adored it.
-Alex (You get a 10/10, for sure.) ^_^Author's Response: Buddy! Thank you! Well, it's a good thing you didn't cry. I would feel guilty if I made you cry =P But I'm glad you liked it.
That's a good point about songfics being cheating. I never really thought of them that way but that is a very valid point. But thank you. I'm glad to know they worked well =)
XD I know you like the bittersweet. I understand what you mean about rooting for Teddy. But even if I wanted to keep him alive, my interpretation of the lyrics wouldn't allow it.
Thank you! -huggle- You have no idea how happy this has made me. I really appreciate it, buddy ♥ Report Review
It's an interesting idea, placing a wizard in such a muggle environment like war but you pulled it off really well. As the story progressed, I felt myself being pulled further and further into the story, practically on the edge of my seat as I was sucked in by your words. The narration was crisp, short and sharp, it fitted really well with the emotion you were projecting in the story. It was emotional but not overly angsty. Character-wise, you did a good job with Teddy and Victoire. Teddy, desparate to be more than he actually was, to live up to Harry's legend and I think subconsciously his parents as well. Victoire, I thought it was interesting to note, was more fearful of being left a widow rather than losing her husband which says a lot about her personality. As a one-shot, you did a good job establishing them as solid characters. The song lyrics added a little something special to the one-shot, especially the one-liners at the part when Teddy first decides to become a soldier.
The one thing I found a little off, however, was the way you introduced Teddy's admiration for Harry. It somehow felt a bit sudden, I don't know, maybe it's just me.
Overall, a very-well-written story. Great Job!
~MistyAuthor's Response: Thank you. I figured it was kind of risky to put them in such a muggle situation, but this was the plot bunny I got and I didn't want to censor it too much - nothing else would have really worked for the idea I wanted. I'm glad you liked my characterizations and I'm especially impressed that you could get so deep into them from the way I wrote them. I'm so glad you enjoyed this story. No, it's not just you. It is kind of sudden, but I didn't really know how to introduce it so I just sort of jumped in. =P Thank you so much! Report Review
'Maybe they'll make his office into a supply closet.' - love that bit. Got a laugh out of me. ^_^
Still what a sad story. I kept thinking 'I hope he doesn't die', but sometimes you gotta kill off some characters. Though I'm a bit confused. Why did Teddy go into the Army so suddenly without really thinking it over. It's a life changing decision and he sort of ran head first into it recklessly. Sort of reminds me of Sirius.
Nevertheless it was quite good and the song fit it well.Author's Response: =P I liked that line too XD Thank you! I understand your concern, but it was kind of supposed to be a last-minute decision. Because he had just lost his job, I felt he needed to do something reckless in order to make up for it. Thank you! Report Review
Hello! I think you did a very good job. This song matched your story perfectly. It was sad, and I found it interesting that although Teddy was a wizard, he led a mostly muggle life and was killed by a bullet - a muggle invention. Despite being written really well, I thought you should know that you have a paragraph in there that is repeated twice. It said something like, "For Teddy, training took a solid eight months of daily activity."
Just thought you should know...Other than that, though, I really liked it. Well done!
-Mrs Roonil WaslibAuthor's Response: Thank you! Honestly, when I was writing it, I didn't realize I had made it so Muggle-ish but I kinda like it. Yeah, that paragraph is being fixed as we speak. Thanks so much ^_^ Report Review
Well I cried, and I feel like a fool. But this was lovely, the whole time I was like, he better not die, he just can't (I have such a strong Teddy/Victoire love). But then it did, and I bawled. You wrote it all in a very beautiful way though, if this makes sense. Also, I love this song, it was just perfect for the story, it fit wonderfully and I think it brought emotions in another way. I listened to it while I read through the story, maybe that's why I cried.
I did notice there is a paragraph towards the middle I think, that repeated three times, and I assure that wasn't on purpose.
Just thought I'd point that out.
Beautiful story.Author's Response: XD Thank you. I hope you're not angry that Teddy died. I tried to make it as happy a ending as I could. Ooh, that's a really good idea to listen to the song while reading it. Yeah, I forgot to warn you about that paragraph but it is being fixed right now. Thanks so much ^_^ Report Review
Hey! Psychee from the forums here with a very belated review - I'm so, so sorry it took so long to get to you. Real life is overwhelming.
Wow, honey. Let me just start off by saying I'm not quite certain how to put my emotions into words right now. There are tears stinging my eyes, but not quite falling. There's a raw sort of feeling in my throat, like I have when I'm about to cry.
The funny thing is ... I'm not crying.
I expect it's that bittersweet quality that you've lent to your (absolutely phenomenal) one-shot that is making me feel this way. I must honestly say I'm at quite a loss for words. You said to disregard the formatting, so I won't comment on that, but other than that, I have nothing but praise and wonder for you.
I'm truly confused at what I'm feeling.
Ironically, with that statement, I can finally give a name to this emotion you've planted within me.
Not in the negative sense, mind you - this is an absolute compliment. You've allowed me to feel what Victoire was feeling, except for the fact that I still haven't come to terms with the fact that Private T. Lupin has died (do they live in America, by the way?).
What I am hearing is the plate in the sink and the 200 dead on the television.
What an evocative style of writing you have, my dear. I'm so sorry this couldn't be a more constructive review, but you have truly, truly struck me speechless.
KalinaAuthor's Response: Oh, Kalina. You're so nice to me. Honestly, this review makes me really happy. I understand what you mean about the feeling at the end. I once watched a japanese movie that had the same effect on me and it was more disturbing than if I had been openly weeping. So honestly, hearing that you had an empty feeling was the best compliment I could have gotten. Thank you so much, Kalina. I am just beaming right now. ♥ Report Review
This was a very good story,but it was also quite sad.
My main concern was about half-way through the story, where the same paragraph is there three times.Was that meant to happen, or was that an accident?
Other than that, I really liked your story, and I'm glad you asked me to review for you.
~Rachel~Author's Response: Thank you! That was an accident. I'm sorry - I should have warned you ahead of time that the format was messed up. Sorry about that. Thanks so much! Report Review
OK, hang on a second, give me a moment...
I mean... Wow. That was absolutely incredible. Ever second of it had me glued to my screen. I... wow. Again, wow.
That was so truly touching. You made the characters human, so that the reader could relate to them. That's wonderful.
I'm so, so glad you entered the challenge! This was such a flawless, perfect fic. I absolutely adored it.
- RinAuthor's Response: Oh, goodness. Thank you so much, Rin! You always flatter me far too much whenever you review my stories. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again! It was a good idea for a challenge ^_^ Report Review
That was heartbreaking. The emotions seemed to jump off the page and though this was a one-shot, it was enough. Nothing was missing -- it was enough. Do you know what I mean by that?
Anyway.I like your characterization of Teddy. Young and strong-willed wanting to do right by his name and to make Harry proud. Which is a good thing as he has always known Harry as that father figure in his life.
Something odd that I found I liked was the scene where Victoire was washing the dishes and when she heard the number of bodies found and she dropped the plate -- she didn't break it. Breaking dishes is so cliche its annoying and rarely happens. I've dropped many plates washing dishes and they don't always shatter. I'm glad you didn't succumb to cliche. lol
Moving on...I also like the fact that you killed Teddy. Its realistic to die in a war. Actually I'm sure people probably expected him to come back to Victoire so that they may live happily ever after but that's not what always happens and I'm glad you understood that.
All in all this was a great, well written story that tugged at the strings of my heart. I was happy that Victoire felt Teddy's spirit after he died -- that gave me some solace.
ChellDaBelle1030Author's Response: Thank you! I know what you mean and I cannot thank you enough. That's a huge compliment. I was terrified that I would overdo it or not amp it up enough.
Oh, the shattering glass cliche. I wanted to avoid it as blatantly as possible. Thank you so much for noticing and I'm glad you appreciate it ^_^
The way I interpreted the song, Teddy had to die. The 'now we're back to the beginning' part just told me that Teddy had to die. I don't know, that's just how I heard the song. Thanks!
Thank you so much. I'm really glad you like this story. ^_^ Report Review
Very sad one, pity for two such interesting characters to end up like this.
You did a consistent, good job throughout the story.
For the sake of readability you might want to sacrifice some of your empty lines. Use a separator line instead.
A solid 9 of 10.Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. The empty lines were a mistake that happened during the validation process. I'll get them cleaned up as soon as I can. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
Hi Ilia :)
I can't tell you how unbelievable annoyed i was when my computer cut out last night JUST as i hit the Submit Review button... and I hoped my lovely long review had saved, but it didnt. :( So, I'm going to make this review a million times better (not guaranteed ;) )
This is pretty much my first T/V that i've read, but I know almost straight away that this is strikingly original. It's not made of the same stuff that normal fanfics are, and so i found it extremely depressing. You could have taken this is that oh so familiar fanfic direction, but thankfully you didnt. This has got to be one of the most unique and well though about one-shots/songfics that i've ever read :) Well done you.
If you had briefly summarised the main plot points for your story, I would have probably thought "no way". BUT it's so expertly written, and intricately plotted that after reading it makes perfect sense. And i love plots like that - ones which you just cant describe to someone else without them reading it. That's the sign of a true writer - one that spins so many webs that it's impossible to unravel them, but it's still undeniably a web. (i hope that made sense, but I'm sure you get the gist). Either way, I have no idea how on earth you managed to think all that up. A question: are you a planner? Because I'm amazed if you managed to plan everything so detailed before you wrote it. Truly impressive.
It all started with Teddy getting fired... i thought that that was a good place to start, and it was clear already how Teddy felt. You dived right in, saving me from all the airy fairy introductions. Fab. The development from a fired employee to determined soldier was subtly written, and as I said before it's hard to see the link without reading. But I just think it was so clever!
You wrote Victoire really well, and she was certainly a well rounded character. And i just loved how she was so understanding with Teddy getting fired and then also with his wanting to be a soldier. It can't be an easy decision to make, but she seemed mature about it. Her fear and worries were really sad, and it just made the whole piece sadder. I felt it was steadily getting more sad as I read on.
My favourite part (can you guess?) was the philosophical talk between Teddy and Dave - it was chilling, to say the least, especially when the lights went out. Really haunting. I love moments like that, which really reach out and touch you and make you think. That was definitely one of those.
I could go on forever about how much I love this, but I feel that I should save my gushing for your next request. You're a superb author, i can see that already, and I love your style. I suppose I should have known that good beta makes good writer. PLEASE tell me what you want me to read next! I can't get enough of your writing. It's so unique, so descriptive... Whoops, sorry. I've gone on a bit. I'll leave you with the thought that you're very very talented.
- MarinaAuthor's Response: Oh. My. God. Marina, you have no idea how happy I am right now. For me, when I get a review that praises my story, that's great. But it means even more when I think highly of and respect the one who wrote it. So when I read your review, I was just blown away.
First of all, I'm so glad the formatting was fixed. It was really embarrassing to see the messed up spaces and stuff when it was first validated. >_> And if your review was any longer than this one, I probably would have cried. XD I just hope that my response is good enough for this amazing review.
I've never written Teddy/Victoire before this. I actually find it difficult to write what people are expecting. Not that I want to write something predictable, but even if I tried, I couldn't do it. I just don't think that way. When I saw Prince Caspian (I got it for Christmas ^_^) and the song came on at the end, I was like =O I need that song nao. And when I looked up the lyrics I knew automatically that I wanted to make a songfic of it.
XD Now that you mention it, the plot points are incredibly weird. I was terrified that people would reject this because there is very little use of magic in it, but it makes me so happy to see that you think it makes sense. I do know what you mean, and it is an incredible compliment, coming from you.
I am not a planner usually. Well, I don't plan in the normal way, I guess. I started writing this story about four times until I settled on the plot you read here. It started out as a look at Cedric when he was accepted into the Triwizard Tournament. Then it was a look at the same thing from Cho's eyes. Then it was a DA story. See, when I heard the song, I knew I had to write something about war, but I tried with all my might to make it more HP-related but that didn't work after the first tries, so I just demoted back to my original plan - muggle war. Thank you very much.
Really? I thought that scene between Dave and Teddy was way too fast. I was certain I was going to get called out for it moving too quickly and breaking up the pace and flow of the story. But thank you so much. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you picked all of that out of my little scene. =D
Your compliments are too much for me. Seriously, I don't know what to say besides 'thank you'. XD I have a one-shot in the queue right now so when that's validated, I'll post in your thread if that's okay with you.
Arigatou gozaimasu. ♥ Report Review
ohmygosh. I'm now crying. Thank you for that (tehe) oh my gosh. This was so emotional and dark i loved it. I really liked how you made Teddy defend his country. It's so interesting and intruiging to me how origional you can make your stories. I loved Teddy and Vic's characterizations they were brilliantly done. I am now sobbing over my computer, my heart felt broke when i heard Teddy die. I am wondering why he didn't use any magic but i understand that it was probably to honor his country. This was amazing.
I wrote something similar to this, about a boy and a girl none harry potter but it's no where as well done as this. :) amazing job!
As always i love anything you write. I'm in awe over thisAuthor's Response: Aww, Rach! -hands tissue- Thank you very much. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Their characterizations were kind of difficult to grasp in such little time, but I'm glad to hear you liked them. You got it; Teddy didn't use magic for that reason exactly. Thank you so much. You make me feel so good ^_^ Report Review
Oh, wow, that was AMAZING! It was so dark, but really unique and interesting. The lyrics were perfect, too. Teddy was amazing, that was a side of him I've never seen. The story was so sad, and compelling, and it was written beautifully. 10/10.Author's Response: Thank you! That's the side of Teddy that I kind of always hoped was there, since we didn't really see much of him in the books. Thank you so much! Really glad you liked it ^_^ Report Review
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