Reading Reviews for Spark of Insanity
  
34 Reviews Found

Review #1, by adluvshp His Vengeance

26th April 2013:
Here for review tag.

Wow, this was definitely a very dark and twisted one-shot, but I loved it. Your plot idea of Tobias going 'insane' after learning that his wife was a witch was quite original. The way you showed what happened when he found out was well-written, it wasn't too gory but not too subtle either.

The emotions came through really well too. I was shocked, pitied Eileen, and was horrified at what her husband was doing to her. The pain and anguish was palpable.

The only little CC I have is that, I'd have to liked to see the flashback a little more detailed - perhaps more description, and also more emphasis on Tobias' immediately feelings.

Apart from that, this was quite a gripping story and I liked it. Good job!

9/10
Cheers
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hello AD! I find it so interesting that you chose this story out of all of my others! It is very, very dated and I've grown so much as a writer, it makes me cringe a bit!

This was one of the first times I'd ever written Eileen/Tobias and one of my first oneshots. I'm glad you thought it was original! I was trying to experiment and do something different than Marauders or Post-Hogwarts or something.

I'm glad the emotions were prevalent! It's something I worked on, even in the dark days! :P

Yes, it does need some work, doesn't it? I've been meaning to edit this, but part of me wants to leave it as a testament to my grow as an author. You're definitely right that the flashback needs more emphasis. Perhaps it is time for revisions!

Thank you so much for the review! I really appreciate it!

Shelby


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Review #2, by Jchrissy His Vengeance

24th October 2012:
SHELBY. WHY WON'T YOU LET PEOPLE BE HAPPY? WHY. I know I know, they weren't happy, not for long at least. But you've gone and done something terrible here, which is made me feel bad for Severus. I know he wasn't actually in this, but we see what kind of man Tobias actually is, his son wouldn't have escaped that. And I hate feeling bad for Severus!

Do you know how much I loved watching Tobias snap? In the creep way that you stare at a car crash (Car crash! Car crash kill Lily and James Potter?!) sorry, I had to. Anyway. He's the prime example of how hundreds of innocent people were burned and stoned to death. The kind of ignorance that destroys lives. I felt so scared for her when he took her wand. Because that's it. That's her protection. She shouldn't need protection from the man she married and loves though! He had a chance to turn this into something amazing, to learn this new incredible side of the world and she was going to willingly bring that to him when she told the truth of what her wand does. And how does he react? He sees red and decides punishment and revenge is the answer.

I loved the way he snaps. It's not like it happened quickly. I mean it did in this case, this instant, but it's not like he just went from a good person to a monster. He was already that monster, but there was nothing in his perfect world to cause that. When this came out, when he found his perfect princess committing such hellish acts, he let that monster show through.

The wand. His idea with the wand. I don't know if I'm right, but if I am I just want to weep for her.

The intensity of this piece really fits what I think we know about them. Him, at least. A person doesn't grow up as completely intense as Severus without something else... and this gives us a glimpse into where he got that sudden sense of rage that we witnessed when he stopped teaching Harry occulamancy. I know that isn't spelled right, but I don't want to look it up. I just want to keep on with me review :P.

This doesn't feel like a healthy man going crazy. It feels like a unstable person projecting their own fears onto a, now defenseless, person. Maybe it never would have happened if he didn't find out, maybe his monster would have stayed locked inside, but it was always there.

This was creepy/sad but as always awesome. And you had me all ready to see if you could actually write anything that isn't great. Guess what, you can't :P. I really like all the different sides you write with this couple. The forever broken lovers, the crazed man who wanted his wife in pain for what she did.. it's all just so eerie! And I'm making you write a novel about these two one day. Yep. It's happening. ♥

Author's Response: JAMI! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOU! You are way too nice to me. Way. Too. Nice. And yes, I can't let anyone be happy. If you want a happy, bubbly story in which the characters live forever in fantasy land, don't come to me! Haha! I can write happy, but I really think that I manipulate angst, drama, and sadness much better!

I love it when people snap. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I love to see the fire and hear it coming from a person's very core. It's all very raw. I always pictured him, on the outside, to be a very calm and caring man - but on the inside, he's struggling with some serious anger issues and demons and all those things. Like you sad (and you said it perfectly), there must have been something wrong with this man, especially when we see the moments that Severus snaps.

Oh, you're definitely right about the wand if you're thinking what I'm thinking (and I'm pretty sure you're on the same wavelength). Not many, if any readers, got that connection. Of course it's /really/ bad and only subtly mentioned, but it's there!

I'm glad you liked the intensity! I look back at this piece and cringe because I think it's so terrible, but it was a critical stepping stone in my exploration as a writer - and definitely a stepping stone for the novel I'm trying to build between the two of them.

I'm really glad you picked up that he wasn't a mentally healthy person to begin with. There's some underlying issue that isn't touched on, but is present, you know? "His monster" - oh yes, I like that!

Jami! Ahhh! I just honestly can't imagine how you think that everything I write is good! Oh, you're so sweet and lovely! :) I'm writing that novel, I AM! I've got an outline in my head - I just need to sit down during Christmas break and crank out the rough draft. I really want to finish the novel before I begin posting though, so that it will already be completed! :D

Anyway, thank you so, so much! You're such a gem and I do, as always, appreciate the support! :)


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Review #3, by Pookha His Vengeance

16th August 2009:
Well, I'm going to be honest, because that's how I am. I didn't care for this story; not because of the abuse, but because it seems so sudden. It's almost as if Tobias suffered a psychotic break, which is entirely possible, but if that's what it was, then it needs to be explained a bit more with his crazy actions.

What I mean is: he comes home with a gift for his wife, but discovers she's a witch. His attitude turns 180 degrees. Why? Is it religious, is it because he's a word I can't say in a 12+ review? Is it a psychotic break caused by the stress?

The start with a happier marriage between Tobias and Eileen is interesting because it's not something you see much of.

I like the way that you leave the abuse at the end up to the mind's eye of the reader. They will often come up with worse things in their mind than you imagine.

I read it again, just now and I really think it looks like a psychotic break, but it just feels too sudden and mixed to me.

It is very well-written and edited. I think in the end, it may just not be a story for me, so take anything I say with a grain of salt.

Author's Response: I do like honesty so I appreciate what you have to say.

After reading your review, I completely understand what you're talking about. To the reader and the writer, it's all about perception. For each person it's different and I get where you're coming from. However, I must take the time to defend my story. I believe that things happen in the moment and a lot of times, they just don't slowly form over time. I love the Eileen/Tobias pairing and I believe that sudden was the only way to go. Of course, I could have written it differently and the revelation would have been slow, but I think that's takes away from the effect.

Thanks so much for your review, I really do appreciate it!


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Review #4, by KaraBlack His Vengeance

10th June 2009:
Hey there! Returning your review request =D

Okay, so honestly, I didn't see anything wrong with this at all and it was really interesting!

I liked the fact that it was very short, it seems that you've achieved so much even with this small word count, it's like each word carries heavy meaning since there aren't that many words.

One thing I would like to point out though, is that I found it very intriguing that this was from Tobias' point of view, I feel like a lot of stories that take on the confrontationally scene between Eileen and Tobias end up come from her side.

By putting this in Tobias' pov I think it brought another element of darkest into the story. A darkness that began reaching it's tip at the "Tobias...you...you have gone in-insane!"

Her fear is obvious but it's overlooked by Tobias' clearly insane nature. It's frightening and leave the reader with a bit of a chill at the same time.

It was very very interesting! I loved the darkness to it! Great job!

Author's Response: Hello Kara! ^_^

Nothing wrong? You're crazy! There must have been something that the famous KaraBlack noticed!

Finally, someone who likes the small word count! Most people are like, "It's too short...blah, blah." It's nice to see that you take into account that a small word count can work just fine :]

Yes, yes, I loved writing from Tobias's point of view. Tobias is very cynical and I think that by putting this in his POV, it really brought out that darkness.

Thanks for the great review, Kara!


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Review #5, by cazvalleygirl His Vengeance

10th June 2009:
That was fantastic! Rather dark but that was the nature of the story and I think you did a wonderful job! I have never thought about Eileen and Tobias Snapes relationship in much depth and for characters we know so little about you made the story very plausible. Well done 10/10 :D x

Author's Response: Hello!

Yes, a good bit of my stuff has been rather dark :] I'm glad that you liked it! Thank you so much for the amazing review!

^_^


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Review #6, by Love Made Visible His Vengeance

8th June 2009:
Hi. I'm here to reply to your request on the forums. First, I'd like to give Kudos for the opening sentence, I thought it was pretty great. I loved the automatic atmosphere that such a short sentence can create. Such few carefully chosen words set the tone for the whole story, a great technique to use.

I also thought the second paragraph was particularly effective because it brought out the character of Tobias Snape really well. I think you captured his character great, you've characterised him really well and you've written him just as I always imagined him. I suppose it's just a matter of personal preference but you've earned extra points from me on that front! I like how in that paragraph you really conveyed his ignorance towards the magical world. It's obvious that he doesn't understand any of it and that he never intends to. His ignorance is so strong and I think that's exactly how Tobias would have been. "For a witch, she sure is afraid" was the line I thought you really brought that part of his personality out. It's like he automatically assumes that witches are exactly how they're portrayed historically: fearless, incomparable strength and power, domineering.

("Devil-stick" further along in the story is another example of his ignorance, I love the consistency of it). What I think is so great about this fic is that you've made it clear that Tobias is not completely evil. I don't think he was like that through and through. In the flashbacks you've clearly shown that he was a loving husband who completely adored his wife - but you've also shown that he had a terrible temper. I think this sums up Tobias' character brilliantly.

I thought the dialogue between Tobias and Eileen was strong, the interaction between them flowed well and the pace was consistent. Overall this story is very good. I understand that it was written for a Challenge and therefore had to be under 1000 words, so what I'm about to say cannot be helped in the slightest. The only thing I could say that wasn't as strong as the rest of the story is that it was too short to have really captured enough emotion and it was all a little bit too fast paced for me to really connect with the plot. But obviously you've had to write it under 1000 words so you cannot change anything.

A great story, really well written and in my opinion really well characterised. Interesting story idea, too. I really wish I could read more Tobias/Eileen stories, but they appear to be very untouched around the archive.

LMV

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for stopping by! Many have commented on my first sentence and I'm glad that it really set the scene :]

You are such a perceptive reviewer! It's nice to see someone who notices the little things that a writer does in their work. I wanted to bring Tobias's characterization into the light right off the bat so that it would set a nice foundation for the events to follow. Tobias's ignorance was probably my favorite part of the one-shot. It shows that in the wizarding world, and in real life, people don't open their minds to everything that is out there. They are close-minded and they shut themselves away from things.

Yet another comment on the 'devil stick!' Once again, it makes me immensely happy that you noticed those things!

Dialogue is one of my weaknesses, so it's nice to see that you thought the dialogue came off strong. I understand your feelings about the length and many have mentioned it. In all honesty, I also wanted to write it so short because I just wanted readers to glimpse that the events that shaped Severus's past and his personality. For me, this one-shot is like the beginning of the end, so to speak.

Thank you so much for your review! It is very much appreciated!


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Review #7, by RonsGirlFriday His Vengeance

7th June 2009:
I thought you did a great job of building so much tension and anxiety into a short one-shot. If this were a movie, I'd probably be covering my eyes and peeking through my fingers, not really sure I wanted to see what was happening.

In the first paragraph, I noticed a couple of places where you slipped between past and future tense, but I don't think it continued through the rest of the fic. Aside from that very small detail, your writing itself is wonderful, free of errors, and really drew me in and kept me engaged.

Tobias' anger, while extremely believable, seemed a little bit rushed to me. I only say that because you set up this scene where he comes home completely happy, with a gift for his wife, and then he goes from 0 to 100 in about half a second, from blissfully happy to enraged and raving mad. Even if he had a strong reaction to the idea of witchcraft because of things he's heard about it, I thought maybe, since this was his wife (with whom he was totally in love, apparently), he would have a moment of shock or denial or despair, and then proceed to off-the-rocker anger. But there was obviously something there to begin with, and he must have been previously unhinged in some way, so taking that into consideration I can see why he might have snapped so suddenly.

There was some excellent use of Eileen's wand here - how it was the thing that gave her away, how Tobias refers to it as a "devil stick," and how Tobias uses it against her. It really was an integral object in this story, and I liked how you used it.

And I kind of like how you did this fic without Severus appearing anywhere - it was completely between Tobias and Eileen - although, of course, even without Severus appearing in this fic, the events in this fic implicate Severus in a huge way, because this was the home that shaped Severus' character, and Tobias probably played a huge role in forming Severus' opinion of Muggles.

Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!

Wow, that first paragraph of yours is such a compliment to me! Thank you!

I keep meaning to go back and fix those tense mistakes, but I keep getting so busy, I forget!

A few reviewers have mentioned Tobias's anger being very sudden. I have to say that I like it like that, ya know? From my experiences and listening to the experiences of others, most people don't take the time to think - few rarely do. One acts quickly and rashly, resulting in serious consequences. Tobias saw something he couldn't control, his wife's magic, and he sought to correct that.

That part with the 'devil stick' just amuses me to no end. We know that he was ignorant of magic, mostly, so he would call it something...terribly ignorant :D

You caught on to some of what I was going for! Wow! I see these events as being the beginning of Severus's demise, so to speak, because they affect him so.

Thank you for the review!



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Review #8, by Blissbug His Vengeance

7th June 2009:
Hi Shelby! I'm so excited to be back your work. You're my warm-up review, hope you don't mind. I have to remember how I did this...

Right off the bat you give us a real distinctive characterization of Tobias. This line really stood out for me: "Firm and strong, he was determined..." I also like here where you have 'snarling' which sounds like 'snape.' I like doing that in my own work, did you do that on purpose here or was it a nice accident? "Snarling like an animal, Tobias Snape..."

This an excellent detail, it brings us right back into the present, well done: "The cabbage rolls in the oven were beginning to burn, the faint smell irritating Tobiasís nose."

I also like the many physical movements you have. There's a real sense of bodies in a room and you convey with gesture and reaction a lot of emotion and mental processes.

My one little bone to pick -- and you know me to be honest, so I hope you won't be offended here -- is that Tobias's anger seems a little forced. You don't set up enough background of fear for him to be so currently angry. It would be better if you really cemented his fear and ignorance of witchcraft throughout the piece. You do this a little but its just not enough to make his reaction read realistically.

Also, in my mind Tobias was always a little unhinged from the beginning and though I sense that you also have this impression, you don't make it a very dominate element in the reading. Perhaps if you explored some of his more twisted thinking earlier on then the later actions would be all the more impacting.

Overall this was a good read and for something so short you do manage to say a lot. I give it a 8/10!

BB

Author's Response: Hello, my dear!

Characterization is key and I try to subtly show it through my description, I've obviously done what I wanted to :] Aha, that was a nice accident! I love words like 'snarling' and I thought it would be appropriate in that sentence :P

Aha, Ilia also commented on that sentence :D It seems that that is a good sentence of mine!

In my opinion, physical movements are imperative to understand the characters' interaction with each other and even their characterization, to some extent.

Thank you for that suggestion! I just can't describe to reviewers who comment on Tobias's anger that I actually like it like that. To me, I've always known situations like that to come swiftly and many people don't think and that's what I did with Tobias. We always knew we was violent from canon, and I always thought he would be rash.

You know, no one has ever mentioned that to me! It's a fantastic point and once I'm done with this, I will look over that aspect!

Thank you so much for the review! ^_^


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Review #9, by miss_ravenclaw09 His Vengeance

6th June 2009:
Hey! Here's the review you requested! :)

Oh my gosh! That was awesome! Well, the writing was awesome. Poor Eileen. :( You know, even as I read all the books and fanfiction, I always pictured these two like this. Tobias has always been sort of a meanie in my brain, and the way you portrayed it was brilliant.

I don't really have any complaints, as the story is pretty well paced, and the characters are in character. :) Yay for you! Sometimes authors (including me.. :/) have problems with that, but your story doesn't seem to show any indications that you had troubles. :)

I want to point out one sentence that stuck out to me - "Tobias was too caught up in his own detestation to realize that his wife was drowning in a flood of tears." I love this sentence, because you can really feel his anger as it rushes through him, and sort of blinds him from his wife's feelings. It is a good sentence to keep in mind for this whole story.

All in all, awesome job! I really liked the story, and I think it turned out great! :)

Miss_Ravenclaw09

Author's Response: Thank you for stopping by!

Wow, such a compliment! I'm glad that you see Tobias on the same wavelength that I do - it means that I'm not crazy :P

No complaints -squee- Some readers don't like the pacing and some do, so I'm glad you saw that was to your liking. In or out of character, I'm glad that you liked my characterizations, it's always nice to hear :]

Ah! Such a great sentence! I love that sentence as well!

Thank you so much for the fantastic review!


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Review #10, by Whimsical Diva His Vengeance

5th June 2009:
I LOVED your opening sentence. It was so random and so perfect. Also, I liked how you didn't straight away mention Tobias's name.

Another thing that I liked was how well you've captured the abuse but have not lingered long on the thoughts. As often as not, people don't think during these moments, they just act overwhelmed by a single emotion birthed by the knowledge of having been wronged. And Tobias never anyway struck me as the kind who'd think or patiently listen to an explanation.

Also, darkly ironic is the fact that he used her own wand to inflict pain on Eileen. That was subtle, yet disturbing. We all know that the wand is a dangerous contraption in the hands of the wrong wizard, but that it can be used for the purpose of violence even by a Muggle is... it makes one reflect on things, you know.

I really, really liked this. Great work!

- Renee.

Author's Response: Aha, yay, it's good to know! Yes, mentioning characters' names straightaway is just...not my style :]

It makes me immensely happy to know that you liked that. In these kinds of situations, no one thinks, they act on a single emotion and BAM!

Haha, yes, a Muggle using a wizard's wand to inflict pain. I thought it was an elegant twist on the issue of violence.

Thank you so much for your amazing review! ^_^


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Review #11, by AnnaKay His Vengeance

5th June 2009:
Wow. Very intense. I'm a little speechless at how it was writting. You got the feeling of it very nicely, without making a lot of people stop reading it. I'm actually starting to get fond of it.

You took a time, something that I really haven't seen anybody do, and you did it well. Great job.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! Fond of my story? I'm flattered, you have no idea.

Thank you so much for the review! ^_^


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Review #12, by Jellyman His Vengeance

29th May 2009:
Wow, this was wonderfully written! At first, I'll be honest, I was like who on earth are Tobias and Eileen? But then the final sentence got me like a knife and I had to read it over again! You did a wonderful job! You really captured the terror and panic of both Eileen and Tobias and, by the way, your summary is great :) Kind of haunting and very effective! Anyway, excellent one-shot! Loved it! 10/10

Please feel free to request again :) Your writing is fantastic!

Author's Response: Oh my, thank you for the wonderful compliments! It amazes me that many people do not know of Eileen and Tobias, but then again, they are so minor. Thank you so, so much, your review has absolutely made my day!

Wow, what a compliment! Thanks again! ^_^


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Review #13, by SlytherinDream His Vengeance

28th May 2009:
TWINY!

I see your dark side! :O Who knew you had it in you?!

This is a wonderfully written one-shot, and it was so engaging! I think this story definitely ranks high on enjoyment, as well, and in less than 1000 words, too! (:

I really enjoyed Tobias' character. It's just so.I can't even explain it! He's just so.evil, and.amazing! I'm surprised you were able to do so much with a character in a mere one shot!

I know I'm not being helpful with nothing really to criticize, but...you'll live :P haha!

10.10 for sure!

Author's Response: DREAMS! -tackle-

I know! Who knew that this little cute Southern belle has a dark side -evil cackle- Muhaha!

Thank you for the wonderful compliments. I'm so excited that one of my favorite people ever likes something that I wrote :]

No criticism? 'Tis a miracle!

Thanks so, so much, my dear! ^_^


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Review #14, by SnapesDaughter His Vengeance

18th May 2009:
Whoa. That was dark, i liked the idea. good job

Author's Response: Thank you! ^_^ I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

Thanks for the review!


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Review #15, by padfoots girl His Vengeance

13th May 2009:
Shelby! *glomps* I'm going to start off by applauding you for your brilliance. Not only is this an original piece of work that really moved me, but you wrote it in 900 words, which is truly remarkable. Most authors have to write long one-shots to get across the point they want, but you were able to do it in half the words most people use. *applauds*

I really liked this one-shot. You took a really hard subject to write about and you wrote it amazingly. The subtleties that were hidden in your writing are great, your characters are great, and absolutely nothing in this story felt forced. For the few minutes I was reading this, I really felt as if I was there in the story with them, and I had a really great visual the whole time, courtesy to your words.

I have to say that I enjoyed this story more than your last. (Not to say the other one wasn't fabulous. =P) There was just something about this that really drew me in and made me want to read more. You're absolutely brilliant, dear, and I hope I can have the time to read more stories of yours soon! ^_^

Author's Response: -squish- Thanks for dropping by!

Oh yay, it makes me most happy that you approve of the length. I was so worried that 900 words wasn't enough, but I can see that I have done pretty good!

Thank you so, so much! I'm just in awe that you liked it, really! It amazes me every time that someone tells me they like something that I wrote ^_^

Thank you so, so much, I don't even know what to say! Thanks! -squish-


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Review #16, by LuckySeven His Vengeance

12th May 2009:
W-O-W! That was different from anything I've ever read before. and I've read a lot! Great job for thinking up something original! Thanks for posting it on my review page. You're a great writer. I don't have any criticism :D I also like that this could have actually happened in canon. (though I don't really have a problem with au) I just like how well it seemed to fit. Outstanding piece of writing.
huggles,
LuckySeven
10/10

Author's Response: Oh my, what an amazing review! Eileen and Tobias have always intrigued me and their originality really made the pairing choice all the more amazing. No, thank you for stopping by to review! Wow, no criticism? That is a compliment, indeed! Thank you so, so much for your totally awesome review! ^_^

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Review #17, by Derek Zischke His Vengeance

30th April 2009:
Tobias taking his wife's wand and using it to assault her is a brilliant bit of imagery - representative of domestic abuse in general, really. He's holding on to the instrument of great power and wonder, but because of his ignorance, his rage, he can only put it to one purpose: violence. It's also got a twisted 'eye for an eye'-style justice to it - which is only fitting for a man who thinks his wife is in league with demons. I'm impressed.

Author's Response: Wow, I don't even know what to say! Thank you! You're very perceptive and it's nice to have someone understand the depths of a story.

Thanks so much, Derek ^_^


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Review #18, by datbenik513 His Vengeance

26th April 2009:
Dark, cruel and deep-going. Just like your other stories I've read so far.

How do you manage to express so many things at once, with so few words? Which spider can create such an intricate web from such a minuscule amount of silken thread?

Snape's parents are certainly an interesting idea to explore, even with this theme, balancing on the verge of ToS compliancy, as you've stated in the A/N. More commonly, Tobias Snape, unwillingly and unknowingly, has become a catalyst for many, many events in the distant future. Had he not been this violent man, who knows what would have become of his son? Certainly worth some further exploration.

A strong piece, which will not let your mind loose, even when you're done reading. You will keep asking yourself these questions, and there will be no one to answer them.

You have raised the term "one-shot" to a completely new level of perfection.

Author's Response: Zoltan! ^_^

Yes, my stories lately have been very dark and creepy.

How do I manage? I honestly have no idea, I turn into another person when I begin to write :]

On the verge of ToS is just about right. I wrote another piece about Eileen/Tobias a few months back and ignorant of the limitations, it was quite...brutal. So, I wrote this and toned it down quite a bit. Zoltan, I think I might go with that and explore further into this :]

Thank you so, so much for your totally amazing review! It is an honor to hear such praise from one such as you ^_^


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Review #19, by Alopex His Vengeance

25th April 2009:
Ok, the nitpicky stuff first. At the beginning (first paragraph or second, I believe), there are a couple sticky patches with tenses. The other thing is just a personal preference of mine. I usually don't like flashbacks a whole lot, so I sort of cringed, rolled my eyes, thought "Here we go again" when I saw you were putting one in. However, you pulled it off really well! It didn't seem jarring to me at all.

I've never read a story from Tobias Snape's POV before, although I've come across a couple from Eileen's POV. Anyway, this was a new and enjoyable experience for me. I like the way you managed to show a little of Tobias and Eileen's relationship: The cooking and the necklace show how regular their relationship is, at least on the surface.

Personally, I thought it a bit unlikely that Tobias (or anyone) would go so completely crazy after finding out his wife is a witch. But fear, resentment, and prejudice will do funny things to people. I know you had to be deliberately vague to avoid breaking the TOS, but there were a couple of times when I felt like I wanted to know more specifically what was happening. There's an advantage in that too, though. Keeping it vague left it to my imagination and made it seem more suspenseful and tense. Anyway, good job overall.

Author's Response: Hi! Ugh, thanks for noticing those tense issues, I didn't see them. I'm glad that you liked the flashback :]

Yay, I'm glad you liked reading from Tobias's POV :]

I understand that you don't think he would go completely crazy, but from what little we know of Tobias, according to JRK, he was a bit crazy. I can't really add anything else to it because it would violate TOS. A couple of months ago I wrote a Eileen/Tobias one-shot and it was MUCH more graphic than this and it was hidden; so, now I try to keep it on the DL.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #20, by Stella Nightingale His Vengeance

23rd April 2009:
Hey WeasleyTwins, Laur here reviewing for ya' - well, I for one and probably still to this day am not a fan of the Severus Snape, I know, really I know - but I always felt a twang of pity for the man after OotP and the flashback Harry sees during Snapes Worst Memory - and I think you touched on his past family life quite well. It's a reoccurring fact that Snape's home life wasn't very nice from OotP, and in DH - and it's really interesting to read a fan fiction just based on his parents. To me it seems very realistic that Tobias Snape would have wanted to take care of his wife - he comes home from work to find the luxury of a home cooked meal, he rewards her with a necklace - old fashioned, yes assuming this takes place 50's-70's what more can you expect? I think when that normality and comfort was invaded by his wife being a witch was really realistic and perhaps it drove him to insanity that he wasn't the stronger one in the relationship and it unleashed something else. So, sorry for carrying on - I do that a lot! But I enjoyed your one-shot, and thought it was very realistic, and terrifying (in a good way though) and you really felt for Eileen. Well done! I hope this review was alright!

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for coming by and reviewing!

Oh my, I'm so speechless! I'm not a fan of Severus Snape either, but his parents and their situation intrigue me to no end. I am so elated that you noticed the old fashioned aspect of the story. I just don't even know what to say other than thank you so, so much!

And yes...this was a great review! ^_^


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Review #21, by The Empress His Vengeance

4th April 2009:
Shelby! I'd read this before, but I can't believe I haven't reviewed. :( So, a review! I loved this, it's so well done. I like the insight into a relationship between Eileen and Tobias. What may have happened. Great job hon!

Author's Response: Hello my dear! Ahh, that's okay, I'm glad you came back and reviewed! I'm glad that you liked it! Thanks so much! ^_^

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Review #22, by Sara93 His Vengeance

23rd March 2009:
Hi Shelby, I'm here to review!
For the first of all that was really good, I especially like how you can put up all that in 900 words was it? It was really well written and the description was great! I think you did the characterization great too ^^
It was very dark and lovely. And when I say lovely I mean lovely as the way you write. You can really feel the dominance in the relationship which is great I think. And the "flashback" was really well done too. Wow now is all I am saying good things^^ well there is one thing and that would be the length, I know that you said it was going to be short but I personally wanted it to be longer.
- Sara < 3

Author's Response: Hi Sara!

I'm glad that you liked it! *squee*

Wow, I'm glad you liked the flashback, it is my favorite part!

Yeah, I've been told about the length, but I just can't bring myself to add more to it.

Thanks! ^_^


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Review #23, by Leent His Vengeance

13th March 2009:
Hello! sorry it's taken so very long...

"Tobias was rash and he tended to take matters to extremes." Well, that sums him up in a nutshell doesn't it?! Very dark, but probably a realistic view on the lack of domestic bliss that surrounded Eileen and Tobias. It was like a little peek behind the stained curtains, so to speak.

You certainly captured those elements of domestic abuse without ever really getting into the grave details. Well done with that. The tone was edgey but had that musty dark sense to it, as if you couldn't breath thinking about how terrified Eileen must have been. I liked how you used the flashback from moments before in the middle too. Gave us a sense of what was in his head.

All around, a great one-shot.

Smiles~
Leent

Author's Response: Hi! Oh, don't worry about it!

Gosh, I love that sentence! I'm glad that you saw the significance in that, I was hoping someone would :]

Yay, I'm glad that you enjoyed this! It was actually quite hard to totally not describe the spousal abuse, so I'm glad that you liked how I handled it.

Thanks so, so much for the lovely review!


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Review #24, by Bella_Portia His Vengeance

7th March 2009:
Usually, I am careful to avoid stories that cover ground with which I'm dealing myself; but the summary (I saw it in a review forum topic) intrigued me so much I had to check it out.

I think you did a superb job of capturing the antecedent to violence, of getting inside Tobias's head at just that moment. You painted a picture of a certain type of man who always carries a seed of violence, bigotry, sexism and insanity -- awaiting only the correct trigger (sorry if I'm mixing metaphors). You feel he's also have beaten the #%*$@ out of Eileen if she'd told him, not that she was a witch, but that she had gotten a job or gone back to school.

And in such a brief piece.

Nice job.

Author's Response: You're working on an Eileen/Tobias? That sounds fantastic! You must PM me on the forums with the link, I would love to read it!

You've just summed up what I wanted to get across! I'm so glad that you saw all those things in this piece. Thank you so, so, so much for the fantastic review!



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Review #25, by long_live_luna_bellatrix His Vengeance

2nd March 2009:
This was really good. You wrote Tobias's reaction amazingly! It was written really well, his thoughts were clear.

And I know you said it was meant to be less than 1000 words, but I can't help but saying that it feels too short. It seems like even if it were a little longer, it might be better.

Otherwise, excellent. It was really interesting. Bravo!

~lllb

Author's Response: Wow, thanks!

I've been thinking about lengthening it. I don't know yet. Some people have mentioned it to me, so I've been thinking.

Anyways, thanks so much for the review!


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