It's amazing how you took such an obscure pairing, and turned it into something stunning.
I'm a sucker for captivating first lines, but yours was so simple, and at the same time it was relatable to me as a reader. It made me understand Hermione's plight before it even started. Another thing I loved about this how short some of the sentences were, as if they emphasise the abruptness of her feelings. They did nothing to interrupt your flow, and made more sense standing alone between paragraphs.
I loved your characterisation of Hermione, which is something I find very difficult to do - for most canon characters actually. She has qualities that stand out, they shape her, but at the same time she's a girl, she will develop feelings and no matter how sensible she thinks she is. There is always room for irrationality when it comes to feeling something for anyone else.
I am surprised that it was Bill you picked for this, but it sort of makes sense. This wouldn't do at all with Ron, or even Fred or George. Bill is one of those characters who carries a certain amount of intensity. He's the eldest of his siblings, he's lived, and he has learnt, but in all of his experiences I don't think anything has prepared him for this.
You write tension as if it was nothing at all. I'm so jealous. Honestly, even I felt it. The closest she's come close to being in a situation like this is probably with Krum, but back then it was different. He wasn't quite so forbidden. Because her interest here is in Bill, it adds a certain element of danger - enough to make it enticing.
Another thing that stood out to me was how Ron was written as the 'friend', even if she said he was her 'rock'. He still wasn't Bill - if that makes sense. I could comment on the subtlety of that relationship, but that's for another story.
And she never thought she would see Bill again. And that was undoubtedly her punishment.
Because she did.
This left me at a loss for words for a while. It was beautiful, and profound, and so many other things that can't come to mind. It seriously had all the feels. All the feels!
This was an incredible one-shot. There's really nothing more left to say about it. Thank you for writing, I really, really enjoyed it.
Lia Report Review
amazing. i was like 'no bill don't cheat on fleur!' i couldnt breathe during the last half and had to re-read it four times just in case i missed something.
10/10 Report Review
This. Was. Amazing. Love what you did with the characters and story and pairing. The emotions were real and raw, but subtle. The realism was enhanced by putting it in context with the war. Hermione's own war between her head and her heart was shown perfectly and I could feel her emotions as she felt them. You made Bill and her so alive and totally believable. Did I mention I love this story? Report Review
Real deep. I like fics that take place during the hard times of the war. Really great job!Author's Response: Thank you! :D Report Review
Wow. This is an amazing story. :D
The first Hermione/Bill story I've ever read, but you have set an extremely high standard should I read more.
What strikes me is that one, it is really, truly, amazingly well written. And two, it is very realistic. I hate non-canon ships that aren't realistic at all, but non-canon ships that are realistic? Love 'em.
You developed the story very well, so that it was realistic. Anyway, I simply adore your way of writing, all Hermione's feelings, I really understood all of it.
*is in love*Author's Response: And i'm in love with this review! :D I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. One of my favourite things to do in fanfiction is to take a concrete canon setting and weave in a fanon ship in a way that is (hopefully) plausible.
Thanks again! Report Review
Okay, wow. I thought "Indefinitely" was your best, but this one may take the cake. I'm not usually patient with OC stories, since so often the characters need to be developed, but you did that beautifully. GREAT job and thanks so much for sharing your work with the world. Report Review
You just broke my heart.
That was absolutely brilliant. My toes are curling from the angst and drama and tension, eugh.. *shivers* Brilliantly done. Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much :D Report Review
That was so spectacular.
Shelby.Author's Response: Thank you! Report Review
and very brilliant!! wow, i'm absolutely speechless. i loved the format of this story, the way it flowed, the background information; all amazing! this one-shot was very well written and simply put, enjoyable. i'll have to check out some of your other works when i get the chance.
keep up the amazing work and have a wonderful day!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the lovely review :) Report Review
That was beautifuly written. I love how you didn't change anything, it remained cannon, and yet it was entirely new. The ending is amazing. Report Review
Hmmm. It was excellent writing, really almost made me believe the ship. I don't know that I buy that Bill would cheat on his wife - he seems like a really solid guy. Anyway, very lovely plotting and characterization. You kept Hermione really in character. Great job :) Report Review
Ah... what an ending. It's a really unusual pairing, but you wrote it brialliantly!
I liked it a lot!
Miriel Report Review
I think this has got to be the first Hermione/Bill I've ever read that was relatively canon in ending. At all, really. I'm impressed with how you made it all work together. Very well done. They're all so in character, and it works.
The minimal amount of dialogue was perfect for a piece like this. Her thoughts and the description all flowed together perfectly and when there was dialogue, it fit well. The description was beautiful. It moved the story along very well, never felt heavy or awkward to me. This entire thing was very well written. :)
The emotions in this were so good. You conveyed them very well, and made me, the reader, feel along with your characters. It's an emotional sort of piece, and the emotions were never over the top or unrealistic. How Hermione felt bad about how she felt, feeling guilty over her crying for reasons other than what she thought she ought to was great. The subtlety of a lot of it fit the tone of the piece wonderfully. There was an underlying tension to it, a tension that the characters were feeling and it came across very well.
As for your characters: BRAVO
Hermione is so often cast out of character when she's written, and you kept her true to herself and to your story. Bill we don't know a whole lot of from the books, but you grasped him very well. All their thoughts and feelings just fit so well who they seemed to be. The characterisation was awesome.
My favourite part is definitely the last. The scene in the kitchen was tasteful and delicate. Was wonderful. But the last paragraph especially. She never thought they would win the war... until Because she did.
It seemed like the perfect ending to the story. Short and to the point, but it communicated how Hermione would feel. Great, great job.
I just loved this entire thing, and it is definitely joining my favourites!
~ShilohAuthor's Response: Oh my goodness... such a gorgeous review! I can't thank you enough. Honestly getting that kind of detailed and thought-provoking feedback is like gold for any writer. I'm so delighted you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :P Report Review
I really appreciate and am awed that you have the ability to take a subject I don't particularly like and a pairing I definitely don't like and make me love the whole thing!! Great job!Author's Response: Thanks so much :D I've never written this pairing before (in fact I'm really not a fan of Hermione with any of the Weasleys) but I've been spreading my wings a bit recently in terms of the ships I write, so that's awesome to hear. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
This is now my favorite story on hpff. I have never thought of Bill much really until this, and you re-created him perfectly. You describe things so well. I love the ending. It was absolutly perfect. Great work. SeriouslyAuthor's Response: Oh wow, thank you! I never really gave him much thought either, to be honest. I just had this random and inexplicable urge to write a one-shot one day. I'm glad you enjoyed it :D Report Review
This was good. I liked the continual tension and ominous atmosphere you had going on. A bit of an abrupt ending, but well written. Thanks for that read. :)Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :) Report Review
This story - this ship - was so amazing. You captured Hermione's and Bill's character so well! This story was incredibly well written and I really enjoyed it. I thought this story was a bit interesting how Bill and Fleur were together, yet, Hermione and Bill were still yearning for each other. While at the end, Hermione married Ron against all odds, and her punishment was seeing Bill. Very well done! I loved it.Author's Response: Thanks so much for the gorgeous review - I'm thrilled you liked it so much :D Report Review
Whoa. You totally made me love this ship. It was so well-written and completely realistic. I love Hermione's battle with herself throughout the entire chapter. I also liked how you went in order with the seventh book. That's what made the fic so realistic. I could actually see Bill/Hermione instead of Ron/Hermione. He's so much more like her. Their relationship would be great. But, I am happy they didn't really get "together" in the end in this story. They were close to getting more intimate but they never broke up with their significant other. It was a perfect ending for this kind of story. I truly loved it and now I'm off to find more Bill/Hermione fics.
Thanks for the great read and thanks to opening my eyes to a new ship! 20/10 just for that.
-Reyes91Author's Response: Thank you :D I really love keeping my stories in line with canon, and I think it's kind of fun to see how you can tweak certain things that happen in the books to accomodate your purpose. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Report Review
I really liked that. I'm not really into the paiting, but I really liked it. Brilliant wrtiing! 10/10!Author's Response: Haha thank you :D Report Review
I've never read this pairing before but I really liked it.
I like that you kept it canon but... not at the same time. :]
Really nice characterization and descriptions.
You write beautifully.
--DracoFerret11 Report Review
WOWZA kylie! :O your writing is terrific! your writing style is very mature and easy to read. I love the feelings and mood you captured - I felt like I was right in there with the story :P you're AMAZING, ily!Author's Response: Niika!! I'm so sorry I didn't see this review before now! Anyway thanks so much for reading and for leaving such lovely comments :D *hugs* Report Review
hi i really love your banners and i was wondering if you would be able to make me one or tell me how you made such love banners. please.
Lily TimesAuthor's Response: Thanks Lily but if you want to request a banner from me you will need to go to The Dark Arts and request from there. As for how to do them? Lots and lots of practice :) Report Review
This is a really lovely story. I was completely encapulated by it and I couldn;t stop reading.
I love the detail of Hermiones thoughts and feelings. You have described them very well, and I love how you have encorporated the story into the events of the books.
I've added it to my fav's
10/10Author's Response: Oh thank you so much for the lovely review, and for favouriting :D Report Review
Amazing. Just that last bit, practically got me in tears. Amazing amazing amazing! Hermione/Bill is officially my new OTP. This is written beautifully -- and so in-canon, I really felt as though I was reading a secret chapter from Harry Potter, but better written xD I really liked how you fit everything in so well with the actual books, too. It was just... So passionate and powerful. Heck, I loved it. Brilliant :DAuthor's Response: *dances* thank you so much! What a gorgeous review! :D I love fitting things in canon for the exact reason that you mentioned... it makes me think any ship is possible between the pages, you know? Report Review
I've decided that I love your work. I have simply fallen in love with everything I've read so far by you.
Many of the stories I have perused on this archive are driven by dialogue, whether it be witty or somber, it is what the characters say that makes the story.
You are entirely different. It's what the characters don't say. it's their actions, their thoughts, that compel us. You write the right things at exactly the right times.
"They were too close now, and it reminded her of things it shouldn't."
I very much liked this line. It was left open, as to give the reader the opportunity to use his or her own imagination, to come up with his or her own interpretation of what Hermione was thinking. We were able to substitute our own experiences and observations into the scene, not merely relying on what you have to say.
"She never thought they would win the war. But they did. She never thought she would marry Ron. But she did. And she never thought she would see Bill again. And that was undoubtedly her punishment.
Because she did."
Simply wonderful. This ship is impossible, but then it isn't. You made it work. It's entirely plausible. You kept us in suspense time after time. Twice at the burrow, one more at Shell Cottage. I wanted to see what would happen.
Well, I think I've gushed enough. Thank you for writing this. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.Author's Response: Oh my goodness, you are an amazing reviewer and I can only apologise for the fact that it has taken me close to a year to respond to what is truly one of the most thought-provoking and delightful reviews I have ever received. So firstly thank you for that. It's really amazing as a writer to have someone engage so much and really think about your work the way you have. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and reviewed and I hope you continue to do so! :D
- Kylie Report Review
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