Reading Reviews for The Un Wanted
  
83 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Writersbane1 Drama

2nd April 2011:
Yes, I DO like your work, and five months is a long time to wait for an update. That soft clatter in your computer is my inner Balrog getting cranky (LOL).

Author's Response: Oh I'm so sorry i thought I answerd this reviwe a long time ago but i guess not! and thank you for saying that you love my work and if you want to know the endig for the stroy I'v actually started writing again :) and the new chapter is up for validation now ! hope you read it :D

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Review #2, by Writersbane1 Drama

29th November 2010:
Chilling. Totally chilling (as in scary as he**)!

Author's Response: haha :P well i guess that means you like it :P

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Review #3, by Writersbane1 Tow Months Later

14th August 2010:
I AM still interested, even though the early signs of anorexia, drug abuse (yes the slimming potion is obviously a drug) and Lily's apparent belief that she can deal with her depression and guilt(?) about her pregnancy and miscarriage are pretty depressing.

For some reason, I suspect you should have found an emoticon with a longer tongue for use at the end of the A/N (Yes, that racket from your computer IS my inner balrog laughing his horns off).

Author's Response: Well now things will get better, I mean she won't be able to sneak away from the fact that she has anorexia and is depressed after this, I mean they kind of caught her.

haha :P well I don't have a longer tongue for you I'm really sorry about that :P but you are laughing so that is a good sign right ?


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Review #4, by Captain Obvious Tow Months Later

14th August 2010:
I'm not interested so much anymore. Lately it seems that it isn't written as well as it was in the beginning. I hate the twilight reference and that's also a big factor that is making me lose interest. Also, the chapters are shorter than in the beginning. It seems there's less interaction between Lily and the core characters, like James, Albus, her mom and dad, Rose, Scorpius, and even Lysander. It's a good story I think until after Lily's miscarriage. I think that when the next update is up, I will probably only read it to see what happened to Lily. I may not even read it. In my opinion, it started to spiral downhill when you did that twilight reference in The First Kick. If it had been James or Albus, and they made up, I think your story would be a lot stronger.

Author's Response: Well thank you for the review ! yeah i kind of regret that a bit, and i'm thinking about re writhing those chapters, and the fact that the chapter has gotten shorter is because i feel like i'm letting you guys down with not updating. but i promise you the next chapter there will be a lot of intreferiense with the other characters.

but thank you once again :)


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Review #5, by Captain Obvious The Frist Kick

14th August 2010:
well, i really really love this story. I want Lily to go back to liking her brothers. The only thing I don't like about this is the twilight reference. I don't like twilight, but i'm overlooking the reference because you really have done an amazing job on this. A+

Author's Response: thank you :)
well i'm thinking of cutting them out...

and she will get back to them she just needs sometime to her self at first :)


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Review #6, by pottercullen95 Unexpected Friendship

28th July 2010:
haha very interesting :) im really liking the crossover

Author's Response: hehe :) thank you! and if you like crossover you should read my other story, "No I won't" :D

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Review #7, by Writersbane1 Unexpected Friendship

20th July 2010:
Thank you for not making us wait forever for this one. After the well-written, but seriously depressing, chapter about Lily's miscarriage, I needed this in the worst way!

Author's Response: i think i was good :)
but now the quee is closed ! but i'll get a new chapoter out straight away when it opens!

and i have to tell you thank you for reding and rewiving :)
and i'm about to wright the last chapter. and it's kind of sad, but there will be a sequel :)


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Review #8, by Miss Writer Letters Frome Home

13th July 2010:
I like this story, it's cute. But Colin Creevey died in the war. Just thought you should know. :)

Author's Response: I know, I disscoverd that two days after I posted the chapter...
it really sucks :P but, but ...
thanx for the reviwe i hope you will continue reading it :)


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Review #9, by jabberwocky09 Waking Up

7th July 2010:
Eh I just finished the whole story and its pretty good but i think you need to work on making it flow because it doesnt really flow, good work tho!

Author's Response: well yeah i kind of know that, it's written over one and a half year and I'v been getting better at wrighting and stuff like that .. but i'm planning to re wright the hole story when i have finished it :)

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Review #10, by harry4eva Waking Up

7th July 2010:
so lily had a miscarriage? that really sucks. is this story going to get any better because right now its kinda depressing?

Author's Response: well, sorry to say but this is still not the end,
but the ending is happy i promise you that, and it will go a bitt upwords from here


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Review #11, by Florifera The Frist Kick

22nd May 2010:
Wow the first kick! Anyway I was just wandering since when does vampires have magical powers? It's a good chapter I liked Jasper there! He's my favorite Cullen!

Author's Response: sicne now :P they are mythical, and magickal creaturs, werewolfs exist:P

hehe :P well he and Alice are mine :)

thank you for the reviwe :)


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Review #12, by Florifera Mission: Escaping James

17th May 2010:
Awww I probably already said this but Lysander is so cute! Lilly is so lucky to have all this people looking after her! I don't get she just doesn't give the baby up! I mean, I know that's like killing someone, but it's always a possibility! Anyway, I guess if she doesn't want it she can always give up for adoption, as well. Oh well, she's got a complicated situation in her hands, she has!

I loved the chapter!

Author's Response: hehe :P well you have said it before :P well yes she is, i don't think she would have managed it if she didn't have those guys. well i know i wouldn't manage to take it away, and most of them how do gets psycological problems, and I have my plans for her :)
thanks for the reviwe !


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Review #13, by Florifera Meeting A Auror

17th May 2010:
poor lilly having to face the consequences of being a mother alone. I just really hope Alexander will get punished, or I'll (I don't know how) do it myself!

Author's Response: well yeah I feel so sorry for her to...
haha ! Well he will be i promise !


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Review #14, by LunaTheDeathEater St. Mungos

13th May 2010:
sjighbidn what's gonna happen? Poor Lily! And the baby! And everyone else!

Now I really need to know what'll happen. Get all those chapters I know you have onto your computer and put them out!!! =P Now!

There are a few mistakes here... Didn't I read through it? I thought I did. If so, I haven't paid much attention... -.- =P But it really doesn't matter much, 'cause the story's great =D

Author's Response: hih :P I know, but I still don't know, yeah but she was to young whould she had had any future?

well i don't know, if you read it i too think you read through it...


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Review #15, by LunaTheDeathEater The Trial

13th May 2010:
I SUCK! TWO CHAPTERS, AND I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN IT!
Anyhoo. =P Lovely chapter! I'm so worried about Lily, and I need to know how it'll go!!!

You're awesome ;) Love the story. YOU HAVE TO WRITE SOME MORE SOON, DO YOU HEAR ME? Right. Luna, get a grip. One more chapter here. But promise me you'll write some more!! :)

Author's Response: hehe ! you don't suck :P
well yeah i to are soon starting to get worried for her, but i know how things go with her but you still don't :P


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Review #16, by Writersbane1 St. Mungos

12th May 2010:
Getting better and better-typos notwithstanding.

Author's Response: thank you :)

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Review #17, by Florifera A trip to the Seventh year Slytherin Dorm.

9th May 2010:
List of people who are cute:
James
Al
Scorpious (never thought he would be cute)
Lysandar

minute to Aw!

Great story!

Author's Response: hehe :P
well i know they are cute !
thank you :)


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Review #18, by Florifera My Darling Little Sister

9th May 2010:
Again James is so cute. seriously! Lilly you poor thing... I don't even get why James stoped her from hitting Alexander, seriously he deserves to be punished!

Author's Response: hehe :P
well it wouldn't be good for her if she hit him to the death, because then she will get punished. but i promose you he is going to punished !


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Review #19, by Florifera I Can't Be Can I?

9th May 2010:
OMG poor Lilly she gets raped then she discovers that because of that git she's pregnant! I hate Alex! I really like it so far!

ps: thx for reviewing my story even though I already told you that!

Author's Response: yeah i know, i'm really mean to her sometimes but hopefully it will go better for her soon.

well i hate alex to !


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Review #20, by harry4eva St. Mungos

9th May 2010:
I really do like your story. But, when you validate a chapter, at least proofread it. I saw a lot of spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes. And at least capitalize things that need to be capitalize. You also spelled Hermione's name wrong.
I'm really not trying to be mean at all. I'm just trying to help you improve your story.
When are you posting your next chapter? I can't wait to read it!

Author's Response: thank you :P
well yeah i know this was on a time when i didn't have the time to read through the chapters. but well i'm editing them now :P
did i missplel Hermione's name ?! shit ! i didn't know :P but thank you :) i'm thinking of posting one today :)


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Review #21, by Florifera Letters Frome Home

8th May 2010:
Oooh James just can't get sweeter! Hahaha, he was never really my favorite, always prefered Al. Anyway you're doing great!

Florifera

Author's Response: well i think he is Lily's favorite, because she is so close to Al and it's typical that the closes siblings fight :P
thakns for the rewive :)


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Review #22, by Florifera Memories That Hurts

8th May 2010:
Aww, I never thought James could be this sweet! So cute!

Author's Response: hehe :P well he is cute isn't he :P

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Review #23, by Florifera Test Results

8th May 2010:
OMG! I always thought she should tell James and Al. Hum, I wonder how they'll react... Anyway good story!

Author's Response: well yeah she should but i don't think it was easy for her...
thanks for the nice reviwe


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Review #24, by Florifera It gets real

8th May 2010:
Wow I never thought that the guy had raped her! That's so serious! Someone please call Law and order SVU unit! Sorry, rape is not something we should joke about. I'm so curious to know what will happen!

Florifera

Author's Response: hehe :P
well yeah i think i got more suprises for you if you keep on reading :)


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Review #25, by Florifera The hospital wing

8th May 2010:
I really like your story so far and will keep reading! good job!

Author's Response: thank you :)

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