Reading Reviews for At the Beginning: Part I
  
42 Reviews Found

Review #1, by padme_alejandra Going Off Into the Sunset

22nd October 2009:
Aw, adorable! I love this scene in Titanic you translated it really well here :) I'm rooting for them!

Author's Response: I haven't been active on this site for five years, so I'd just like to say - thank you, and so sorry for not replying to your wonderful reviews sooner!

I may have to change the story around a lot, because (as a college student), I've become uncomfortable with the blatant plagiarism I incorporated into my stories. While I may borrow elements from other books and movies I enjoy, I don't think it's proper to outright use lines or whole blocks of dialogue from them.

I also have to admit that I'm unhappy with how I portrayed the main characters and their motivations. So that will change as soon as I'm not bogged down with coursework.


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Review #2, by padme_alejandra Lettuces

22nd October 2009:
Aw, I adore Xeno here! I hope everything works out for him ^_^ This whole scene was rather amusing and well-written.

Oh, and I absolutely loved the bit where Xeno described Alarya, especially the ears like small shells portion. So very, very like a Lovegood!

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Review #3, by padme_alejandra I Can't

22nd October 2009:
Ah, Fabian, he can get be so stubborn and hot-headed. Yet I love him completely ^_^ His comment on Sirius and Faye's relationship was very realistic - I can definitely see him coming to that conclusion, especially in his jealously.

The scene at the end was really cute (until the argument, that is, but again, that was perfect... they're both just too stubborn for their own good and I can't imagine the scene ending any other way at this point, until they develop their relationship a bit more).

Good job!

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Review #4, by padme_alejandra The Marauders Converse

22nd October 2009:
Hahaha oh Lily XD I like the character you've created for her - she's still the bookish, fiery girl we know from the books but you've added an element of, well, Marauder in her with all the scheming she does with Sirius. I absolutely adore her.

This whole chapter was really interesting. I like how you rely more on dialogue to convey the setting, plot, feeling, etc. It makes for a really good read and I don't get frustrated with endless description.

Eavesdropping? Hahaha. Love it.

This is just such a great story. The dynamics within the Marauders, Lily and Faye, Lily and Sirius, Faye and Fabian... and everyone, really, is just brilliant. Keep it up!

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Review #5, by padme_alejandra A Letter from Home (Whatever "Home" Is)

22nd October 2009:
Interesting chapter! It created a lot of intrigue for the coming chapters.

I can really see the progress of your writing through these chapters. It's definitely progressed a lot and I really enjoy reading it. Great work!

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Review #6, by padme_alejandra Nathan Hale

22nd October 2009:
There was some good action in this chapter! Fabian protecting Faye was so cute :) Their combined stubbornness infuriates me but in the best way possible - I love them!

And including that quote in the end was a nice touch!

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Review #7, by padme_alejandra Overly Concerned Cousin

22nd October 2009:
Again, I love Sirius. He's absolutely hilarious; you've got him spot on! And Faye's quick temper is humorous as well. I really enjoyed the lighter aspects of this chapter :)

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Review #8, by padme_alejandra A Glitch in the Plan

22nd October 2009:
So sorry I disappeared for a while there :) But I'm back!

Hahahaha Sirius! He cracks me up XD I like how you balanced the seriousness of the situation with his light cracks without taking away from the emotional aspect of the scene. And how Dumbledore always knows what's going on at Hogwarts. Lovely.

Good work!

Author's Response: Wow, it's been a while since you last reviewed my stuff. I actually finished Part I, and now I have Part II WIP.


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Review #9, by twinklinghazeleyes No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

9th September 2009:
So it's finally over!!! *sobs quietly into tissue* The end was sad, but not devastating because I never really liked Shell, sorry if that's mean but it's true, I can't believe Faye and Fabian split up AGAIN!!! Honestly that was really mean of Shell, Faye and Fabian are totally different from him and Lillian couldn't he see that!! I can't wait for part II!!! Please put up thefist chapter of that really, really, really, really soon!!! 100/100!! :)

Author's Response: Hahahaha, I'm posting right now...I love Trusted Author status...XP

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Review #10, by twinklinghazeleyes We Can't Go Back

9th September 2009:
Mean, mean Shell, I bet he's the reason Voldemort is what he is, he might not have done anything if it wasn't for Shell!!! Roselle is great!!! She's so strong and brave it's amazing! Shell is being all pureblooded prejudice about Demetrius, and what did Lillian do? I loved this chapter!! Please update really, really, really, really, really soon!!! 10/10!!!:)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the amazing heart-lifting reviews! You're the best! And I'm already working on Part II, I'll post ASAP.

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Review #11, by twinklinghazeleyes I Wonder Often

8th September 2009:
OOHHH!!! So that's why Shell wants to get rid of voldemort so obsessively, apart from voldemort being an evil maniac of course, because he might be part of the reason he's like that! Cliffhanger! :) Can you mention Molly's sons in the next chapter, please!!! :P I love Roselle!! She's so brave and frank, I love her, and Ignatius, he seems great! I loved the three new chapters!!! Please update really, really, really, really soon!! 10/10!! :)

Author's Response: Yes, yes, the boys are coming! Don't worry--next chapter is a very amusing one featuring the Weasley boys.

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Review #12, by twinklinghazeleyes Meeting the Prewetts

23rd August 2009:
I love these last chapters so much, sorry it's taken me a while to review, I have been busy!! Poor Rose, and Shell needs to learn some balance, but I still feel sorry for him, where's Gideon in this chapter? I liked the line about Molly's sons thinking Fabian is a tree!! Please update really, really, really, really soon!! 10/10!!

Author's Response: Ooh, thanks for the little hole in the story--Gideon's absence--I hadn't noticed it. :) Well, he just came later. I'll say he was visiting Edie or something.

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Review #13, by twinklinghazeleyes Nathan Hale

8th August 2009:
Great last few chapters, I was just catching up on them all as I have been away, thanks for updating so fast! Please update really, really soon! 10/10!!!

Author's Response: I'm updating right now, actually ;-D Thanks for the great reviews!



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Review #14, by padme_alejandra Dragonfly

7th August 2009:
Oh dear. Faye really went off on poor Fabian. Given her character, and her being a Black especially, it's really fitting (though it is quite sad! :( They're cute together - the dancing scene made me grin stupidly).

I hope the best for them in later chapters!

Author's Response: Oh, don't worry, more romance is coming!

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Review #15, by padme_alejandra Luna

5th August 2009:
Another great chapter :) everything is progressing well and the relationship between Fabian and Faye is incredibly squeeable :P

I loved Luna here! So like our Luna, yellow dress and sunflower and all!

Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: I'll spill a plot detail here and say that Alarya is Luna Lovegood's mother, but our Luna takes after her aunt and namesake. ;-D Thank you for the great review!

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Review #16, by twinklinghazeleyes Debut

13th July 2009:
This is great!!! really romantic, and just how you would imagine a Hogwarts dance to be!!! Please update soon! 10/10!!!

Author's Response: Awww, thanks! There is more coming soon, just haven't had the time (and my flash-drive) to post the next chapter.

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Review #17, by padme_alejandra Debut

13th July 2009:
Cute chapter and beginning to the masquerade! I really enjoy reading your writing - it's quite good :) and Fabian makes me swoon, all the time!

Keep up the awesome work! :)

Author's Response: How can I ever thank you for the amazing reviews, padme_alejandra?? I love logging on and checking my reviews, and yours are always there. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

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Review #18, by padme_alejandra Masquerade Magic

10th July 2009:
Hahahahaha I love Lily! She's hilarious :D And Fabian's jealously is so cute.

I can't wait for the next chapter! I can just feel the drama about to unfold.

Author's Response: Oh, you have no idea what\\\'s about to happen...

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Review #19, by padme_alejandra Rival and Friend

1st July 2009:
Hahaha oh man, two private lessons with two gorgeous boys? Lucky girl XD

I'm intrigued as to where this will go. Jon is just befuddling me, like he is Dumbledore, at present. I have no idea what to expect of him.

Great story so far, my dear :) Can't wait for an update!

Author's Response: Ooh, I screwed up again! I completely forgot about the lessons!!! Hmmm...nah, I\\\'ll put them in Part II.

I\\\'m posting chapters as quickly as I can. WHY they only allow us to post ONE chapter at a time...


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Review #20, by padme_alejandra Animal Opposition

1st July 2009:
Aw, poor Professor :( What a horrible thing to do! Faye is right though, there is prejudice everywhere.

"Rodolphus was all right," hahaha, that made me giggle. I love Rodolphus way too much, I think ^_^

Gr, that Drake girl is certainly obnoxious! What a personality. Which is a compliment to you - you managed to create a character with enough depth to elicit emotions in me :) As you do with all your characters, really.

This is just a really great story. Intriguing and well-thought out, with a great plot.

Author's Response: Ah, Rodolphus. A misunderstood character, in my eyes.

Alarya--I love how you call her \\\"that Drake girl\\\"! ;-D--straightens out eventually.


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Review #21, by padme_alejandra Appearances Can Be Deceiving

1st July 2009:
Oooh this is getting intense. I feel badly for Fabian - it must be hard for him, being reserved, to get close to Faye, who closes herself off a lot. And add Jon to the mix? Hmm. Very interesting, indeed ^_^

I love how meticulously you've crafted the stories of your characters. It's really great, and it shows in your writing. Because you know them so well, they come across as realistic characters with actual depth to them. Kudos on that!

Author's Response: Jon is definitely another favorite of mine. He is sort of like Megara, in a way: he does what he pleases, but he\\\'s careful with what he does. (If that makes sense.)

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Review #22, by padme_alejandra An Artist's Work

1st July 2009:
“But you have a gift, Fabian. You do. You…you see people.”

“I see you,” said Fabian, studying her face fixedly in that way she’d grown accustomed to.
= aka my absolute favourite part of Titanic :D I was squeeing when I read that part - I was hoping you'd include it!

Fabian's jealousy was really well written. You maintained his reserved sort of stoicism while still managing to communicate his feelings. Well done.

Author's Response: When Fabian sees something he wants, he fights for it. It bothers him that Jon is interested in her, because he knows there is something \\\'off\\\' about the other boy. This is a tie-in with Ron, his nephew: every time a boy fancies Hermione, he\\\'s incredibly jealous. So I made Fabian the same way, though he is less obvious about it.



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Review #23, by padme_alejandra New Arrivals

1st July 2009:
Oooh, more drama! I wonder how this will all play out. Two gorgeous boys vying for your attention? Can't be good XD Looking forward to that!

Haha the banter that goes on between the Six makes me giggle, every time. They're quite the funny lot. I'm liking them all very much.

Again, your writing is spot on. Just enough description to create a mental picture, and yet leaves just enough to the imagination. Awesome.

Author's Response: Jon\\\'s interest in Faye is...unusual. He is both attracted to and intrigued by her. He has a few talents of his own too.

The Six...I love them, though some members aren\\\'t a huge part of the story: Mary, for one, was never a character of mine. She was mentioned in DH, however, as Lily\\\'s friend, and I try to stick to canon as much as possible. So in she went!

Megara is one of my favorites too, because she\\\'s quieter than the rest, but she has a witty side to her. She is madly in love with Sirius, of course, though you would never really realize that. (I tied her in with the chapter Snape\\\'s Worst Memory in OOTP, actually; do you remember how that one fith-year girl was looking at Sirius longingly, and he seemed to be ignoring her? That was my Megara :-D).



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Review #24, by padme_alejandra A Warning

1st July 2009:
Oh, more tie-ins! With the rum/tea and Dumbledore's subtle hints XD Love it.

Again, I just love your dialogue! It's witty and clever and entirely realistic and fitting for their age group. It's music to my ears! Forced dialogue is a major turn off for me in fan fics, but you have no trouble with it. Especially Sirius. I love him here! And the little things - like squeezing Faye's shoulder before he left - are awesome. It's so canon of him. Love it.

Sheesh. What a mother. That letter was... epic. And so fitting for a Black! Great work :)

Author's Response: The rum/tea thing is a major clue to Luna Drake\\\'s life after Hogwarts...can you guess who her child is???

\\\"What a mother\\\", huh? I know. I did have a scene where Druella received the letter that alerted her to Faye\\\'s \\\"antics\\\", but decided to cut it out because it didn\\\'t fit the storyline.

There are a few parts, later in the story, where the POVs change. Just a heads-up.


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Review #25, by padme_alejandra Dilemma

1st July 2009:
Ooh, detention. Wonder how that'll pan out... More trouble, no doubt XD

Cute filler chapter. I liked the tidbit about Faye talking to her cat.

Great work!

Author's Response: Actually, now that I realize it, I never do describe the detentions. I\\\'ll have to correct that mistake; I\\\'m in the process of editing every single chapter now on my computer.

Faye is a cat person. If you think about it, a cat is really a smaller version of a lion. This should point to where her true loyalties lie (oops, I\\\'ve said too much there, but oh well). ;-D

I should mention that while Faye was being Sorted, she was considered for a) Gryffindor; b) Ravenclaw; and c) Slytherin. In that order. Slytherin was an option for her, but not much of one despite her surname.

In the original version of this story, Faye WAS a Slytherin. But I had to change it because then I couldn\\\'t have had all the Gryffindor common-room scenes with her friends and Sirius. Being a Gryffindor suits her personality very well.


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