Wow, I've never seen Scorpius depicted like that before. I've seen him as nasty, mean, corrupt, a cheater even. But not someone who would walk out on his own child.
This was truly heartbreaking. I nearly cried.
I do like the end had an optimistic note. That her life wasn't over simply because he had walked out on her and their daughter. That must have been a liberating epiphany for her.
I like the characterization despite the fact that I'm disappointed in Scorpius' character. I do like the flow and word choices, too.
Normally, short little sketches irritate me. I always want more. I wouldn't have minded if this were longer, but for some reason the length didn't even affect me in this piece. I was more intrigued with the story. It was very painful to experience.
As much a Rose/Scorpius shipper I am, I really enjoyed this despite it's heart wrenching tone and Scorpius' seemingly apathetic view of his wife and daughter. Report Review
Awe, I love it. I like how you made him the 'Bad Guy' and Rose the 'Caring Mother' :]
It was perfect!
*10/10Author's Response: Ooh, this was very unexpected ^_^
Ehe, thank you. It's not my favourite of my fics, so I'm glad you liked it :) Report Review
I liked this. As a mood fic it was very evocative, but it lacks some detail doesn't it? You tell us a lot instead of showing. Rose is beaten, right? Why doesn't she remember it?
Or more simply, why not have the words of the lullaboy? Emotion is often portrayed much better by actions instead of words.
I do love your style. A fine fic!
I think I'll read more of your writing.Author's Response: Ooh, that's odd, I wasn't expecting this, thank you :D
This is definitely not my favourite of all my fics. It was written quickly, and although I used to love it, I'm really not fond of it anymore.
I agree with you about the detail, but this is supposed to be more of an emotive piece of writing, rather than descriptive, to focus on what Rose feels.
Rose hasn't been beaten, as far as I remember ... I might have said that he went to hit her once, but I think that's it ... O_o
Thanks very much for the review :) Report Review
Liam!! I'm sorry this took so long, but you heard about my blasted internet. *grumbles* I hope mods can find the PM, if not then I'm re-doing it as soon as I'm done with my review thread! :)
But anyways, I'm ranting. Liam, I really liked this. It was something different for you and I really enjoyed it. Your writing is getting better and better and the more I read of your stories, the more I see that you are improving by the second.
I like your descriptions. Everything seemed really insightful and moving. Emotions were gathered great and it was so enjoyable. I love the name Yasmin. I feel sorry for the little baby when Rose is thinking mean/nastily. :( But it was a really in depth scene that plunged you further into emotions. It was really gripping.
Great job and I can't wait to see what else you have coming! YAY, Liam!
9/10Author's Response: Yus, I did hear about your internet, hon. Your internet needs to DIE. Oh wait, no, that means I can't talk to you. I want it to live! :D
Yeah, this was a bit different for me, I'd never written angst like this before, and my writing seems to be getting angstier and angstier as time goes on ^_^
I love the name Yasmin aswell! It's awesome! I got it from a video game, and the character is ... awesome :P
I'm glad you liked it so much, Drue! Thank you for your encouraging words :D
xox Report Review
This is really, really good! Normally 800 words stories are far too short, but everything was accomplished here. The plot was good and interesting, the characters were written well. The only change I would do is make Scorpius's parting letter to Rose a little less "so truly sorry" and more "sorry but this is best" sort of thing. It sounded a little too apologetic. Anyway, great job!!!Author's Response: You have a point there ... Yeah, I think I might change that sometime.
Thanks alot for the review! Report Review
This is really good! I thought it was a brilliant ending- not the typical "happy" ending but uplifting nonetheless.Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it (: Report Review
Hi Liam! Sorry for taking so long to review =S
I wish it was longer. I would have loved to know how they got together in the first place. Maybe you could write a prequel =P j/k LOL
I love Scorpius and it's a little hard for me to read him as an alcoholic and cheating husband.
But I did like how you described Rose's feeling towards the end of the story. And that the weather matched her mood. It could be interpreted as figuratively speaking.
I didn't like Rose's comment about not breastfeeding Yasmine, because she's not a cow. Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things a woman can do, not to mention that it is really important to the child.
Feel free to request for more reviews Liam =D
ForgottenFaceAuthor's Response: Yay, don't worry about it.
Well, I would have liked it to be longer aswell, but I wanted to keep it short and simple.
Also, I wanted my Scorpius to be different to "caring and devoted brilliant lover Scorpius" that seems to be everywhere.
About the cow comment thing, some women do feel uncomfortable breastfeeding. I actually got that comment from my own mum, strangely enough ^_^
Thanks Rebeca, I'll start beta'ing chapter three soon (: Report Review
Wow, this story was really well written. I love Rose/Scorpius, but this was really realistic and I love the idea of Rose being strong for her daughter. 10/10Author's Response: Thank you!
I'm glad you liked it (: Report Review
i liked it! although, i'm a sap for rose/scorpius stories with happy endings, but i really liked this! (:Author's Response: Awh, sorry. That was quite a happy ending though! Well, she managed to move on at least ^_^
I loved writing this story ;D
Thanks for the review!
x Report Review
Whoa, Christmas Day seemed to be very productive for you, cause that was good.
Different twist on Rose and Scorpius.
I loved the paragraph about the rain stopping.
Alright, so now I'm off to read Secrets and Lies.
xoAuthor's Response: Ooh, yay!
I'm surprised it got validated so quickly, the queue is 2 days ...
Thanks Candace, you know I always j'adore your opinion!
(: Report Review
A story where Rose and Scorpius aren't happily married with two sweet children, a puppy and a white picket fence?
I like your style.
Although, you have totally confirmed my fears about marriage. There is nothing irrational about gamophobia!
I loved the plot, and the orginality, but you wrote this on Christmas Day?! I thought that I was the pessimist.Author's Response: To be honest, Rose and Scorpius happily married gets on my nerves more than a little bit, and that's something I definitely didn't want.
Haha, no, I guess there isn't much irrational about gamophobia ^_^
Especially if this version of Scorpius is your fiancee!
Well, I was attacked by this plot bunny on Christmas Day and I had to get it down before it disappeared, so yes, I did ^_^ Report Review
it's different for sure,
no one really depicts scorpious like that
it's sad that he didnt even stay for yasmin
but the ends really inspiring[[:Author's Response: Yeah, to be honest even I don't depict Scorpius like that usually, but I'm glad you liked the ending (: Report Review
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