Ooh, I liked it! :) Very nice job. :) Here are my points of constructive criticism, as the beginning of the story said I should include in my review. :) I think that you could detail the beginning a bit more. I know it's just a short one-shot, but I think that could make it a bit more full. I loved the plot, though, and the story all together! :) Very, very good! I think this would be fun as a longer story, but it was great as a one-shot. For 13 you're a really good writer. Keep writing! :)Author's Response: Thanks for the compliments!! I do agree with you, in saying that the beggining part of the story requires more attention. I think I might rewrite the beggining if I get a chance soon. Anyway thanks for the R&R!! Report Review
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