I believe this is a work of art. I think of all the chances of me bumping into this fanfic again, and I'm grateful that I did! You have woven a beautiful piece of literature, something that I believe is true, because the characters are real with real strengths and real flaws and really stupid mistakes, which anyone can be susceptible to.
You have taken that and put it into a most deft plot, and let them turn from immature, young fools to the hero and heroine that they now are in this Epilogue.
I am glad you didn't give her back her memory, because, in truth, I believe there had to be this encounter. A purging of her insecurities and memories for both of them to finally grow up and start over, build a relationship with all their love.
Thank you so much for this wonderful read. If I could, I would favourite a million times and I would probably review until your story DROWNED in them and HPFF would eventually CRASH from Memory shortage.
Many blessings to your hands, your eyes and that wondrous mechanism within your skull that conceived this masterpiece.Author's Response: wow, you're one of few who are glad that her memory wasn't restored, thank you so very much! i really appreciate this! Report Review
Oh, beautiful! Harry is completely forgiven. That must have been the most selfless thing he had done. To completely change himself for her, then back down when he realises that she could be happy without him ... Maybe even happier.
Neville and Hermione are the most adorable friends - I think you've captured them really brilliantly. I feel this anticipation, yet dread, to go onto the final chapter! I'm loving it all, but it'll be over soon :(Author's Response: thank you so much for takign the time to read and review! Report Review
Oh no ... I'm sure Hermione had her reasons, but at this point, all I want to do is scream at her and call her an Idiot.
For goodness' sake, how could she do it??? Oh, anyway. This disappointment and anger is absolutely delicious. Keep feeding me your mojo, your words are absolutely divine.Author's Response: thank you so much, so glad you enjoy this!!! Report Review
Oooh ... Neville's got a girlfriend? What does she want to see him for? My poor, uneducated guess right now seems barmy, so I'll save myself from humiliation at mentioning it :) Um ... The Plot thickens!!! What did Harry do? Is she just in need of her independence? Urgh, why does Hermione have to be so frustratingly complicated? (Admittedly, we wouldn't want her any other way). Great so far!Author's Response: thank you so much! Report Review
And the road winds further ... I am enjoying every little bit of this fic! I find it very interesting that Ron's sort of the level-headed guy between him and Harry at this point. And I'm awaiting Neville's part in it too!!! On to the next one, well done!Author's Response: thank you so much! Report Review
Oh my golly, Harry is an absolute prat at work! I'm so horrified, yet amused :D Then again, as Harry said, how will they ever learn?
I still wonder what he did that upset Hermione so ...
Anyway, beautiful integration of quotes. I loved Walt Whitman! Can't wait to see what happens :)
P.S. The movie this was based on (although this seems almost completely different), did you enjoy it? Or did you only like the idea of business in memory erasing?Author's Response: it means so much to me that youve taken the time to review this story like this!!! Report Review
Hello! Refound this beautiful novel, and it is as wonderful as ever. I love your magical twist on it - from the not completely erasing some vital memories but replacing little bits of it, to the theories of how it works - and your character renditions.
Hermione is as she would seem. She would beat herself for doing something she believes weak, but once she gets accustomed to it, I think she'll do what she needs to.
10/10Author's Response: refound? youve previously read this??? Report Review
The end of this story reminds me of that Adam Sandler movie 21 Dates I think it's called, and it breaks my heart. It's like reliving their lives all over again. Beautiful story, and well written. It tugs at the heart strings, but in a good way.Author's Response: never seen the movie, honestly... Report Review
it's a nice story, but i felt that the las 2 chapters were a little rushed, quite disappointed with how it ended, perheps i'm looking too much for a perfect happily ever after ending that hermione rmbs harry. Great story anyway!Author's Response: was it rushed or did it not give enough time for the ending you wanted? i'm sorry but i have to ask because if it's the former then i'd definitely like to consider re-writing the last portion Report Review
That's got to be a shock, trying to find your girlfriend and realizing that she'd forgotten you, on purpose! Watching him go through the house was pretty creepy, it was strange how easy she seemed to have erased all traces from her former life. I really like how Neville is more of a strong character in this story, I think it's great how Hermione thinks of him as a close friend and all. And getting Luna in there made me very happy, because I lovee her!Author's Response: oh thank you so much, i really appreciate this! Report Review
I like the way that you show Hermione telling the tales about Harry and Ron when they were younger and such, it was a great addition to the story. I really like the way that you've portrayed Ron and Harry as well, it's a little different from how they're normally written, but it's refreshing. The plot seems really interesting, and had been executed really well so far. :)Author's Response: this means so very much to me, thank you! i know this story is rather different from the usual ones out there so this means all the more to me. Report Review
I thought that this chapter did a great job at setting up everything for the story, it was really interesting. The idea of a potion that can erase a single person from memory is really neat, and a pretty original idea. I think the fact that you introduced the idea first, and the fact that it was Hermione later really helped to draw readers in. I know I really wanted to know who it was, which kept me interested! Great chapter!Author's Response: hahha, really?! thank you, i thought it may have been too obvious that it was her so it's great to hear otherwise. Report Review
It was a catastrophe before? Really?!
I LOVE LOVE that you thought to take Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and adapt it for Harry Potter
I slapped myself in the face and was like 'how did I not think of this!?'
I can't wait to keep reading1Author's Response: haha, thank you, i really appreciate this! Report Review
wow...you should realize how wonderful this is. i have a suggestion...jst a suggestionn, it might be a bad one, but what if malfoy was brought in to this? again, just an ideaAuthor's Response: aw thank you. regrettably, i just don't see malfoy making an appearance in this story since i don't believe he played a pivotal role in hr maturation, which is what this story really focuses on. Report Review
This story is so...twisted...but in a good way. It really is, 3 chapters and I'm already hooked. It's kind of scary and weird to think about erasing someone from your mind. Anywho, the next chapter should be great. update soonAuthor's Response: :D i cant begin to tell you how happy that made me, thank you! Report Review
You're keeping the whole fight thing all hushed up. Gr. But, that certainly makes it even more intriguing. Also, the way you're showing their background is so creative!
icaAuthor's Response: haha, but i'm so glad to hear it, thank you! Report Review
even though it is short, it holds enough to tie you over.Author's Response: oh thank you so much for that! Report Review
Hi, me again :)
I really find this idea interesting, erasing a person or experiences from your mind. I've never actually seen the movie you're working this fic off of, but I am familiar with it.
Again I would caution you about your use of punctuation, make use that you're not being lazy with it. I say this because you use ellipse's a lot where a well place period would achieve the same sense. Usually knowing how to deal with punctuation to achieve a atmosphere in the writing comes with practice, so that's my best advice, keep writing.
Also, right there in the beginning of this chapter you have Hermione biting her lip lightly, again. She just did that in the last chapter. I get that its a repetitive action for her, and a way for your to characterize her through gesture. Just be careful not to get repetitive.
You've got strong dialogue and a really interesting idea here. I find this to be a rather original take and I applaud you for the effort.
7/10Author's Response: Well i am so glad to hear that, at the very least, it's interesting. I;'m still trying to lay down the basics, so happy to hear there's intrigue in the fact giving, lol.
as for grammar, i couldn't agree more. English is actually my third language and, at times, i still struggle with grammatical concepts as it's so different from the more latin based languages.
the biting of the lip, well it's still the same scene, but a continuation of the previous one r4eally, so she's actually continuing the action from the last one, but i can see where your concern may lie and i'll keep an eye out for that!
thank you so much for the honest reviews! Report Review
Hi there, it's blissbug from the forums to review. I'm so sorry it took me so long to get here, I've been really sick!
So I found the poem/song? in the beginning very intriguing. It seems you've got a good idea about where this is suppose to be going and how it should feel, so you set it up well.
I do notice though that the dialogue feels rushed even while I can tell that you're trying to slow it down with the use of ellipse's and spacing bars. I would recommend actually tightening up some of your sentence structure to achieve the same feel. Shorter sentences with action verbs will help giving the impact of the action while ending it abruptly enough to indicate rashly made decisions. For example you wrote:
ex)"Well I don't really know you, now do I? I'm afraid that you're the only person that can actually answer that question," he honestly answered her with a sympathetic smile.
"Yeah," she nodded, pulling her lower lip between her teeth and biting it lightly. "I suppose soÖ but, if you were me, would you do it?"
It might reader better like this:
ex)"Well I don't really know you. You're the only person that can actually answer that question," he answered her with a honest and sympathetic smile.
"Yeah," she nodded. She bit her lip, then said, "...if you were me, would you do it?"
See how cutting certain portions, rearranging certain words and adjusting some of the punctuation changed the whole feel?
I would also caution you pay attention to your punctuation and grammar. There are a couple of iffy places where things are just a bit messy. Again, tighten things up and you'll achieve that punch you're looking for ;)
Overall a good read.
7/10Author's Response: as for grammar, yet again, totally and wholeheartedly agree!
wow, i love how you are able to set the perfect moods. You can write the moods very well. Very well done for prologue part two.Author's Response: thank you! Report Review
wow, i'm here from the forums as requested. I'm Rachel. *waves* my reviews will be short but i thought this was a great beginning. of coures there were some errors but nothing a beta can't fix up. I'm intrestesd to see where this is goingAuthor's Response: hello, nice to meet you too!
thank you so much for the review, happy to hear it was interesting Report Review
0.0 This is scaring me a little...AWESOME 10/10Author's Response: thank you :blush: Report Review
:D I could be a beta if you want! I'm always writing new fics when I shouldn't be, so don't be ashamed XD
I usually don't even read a chapter if it's under 1000 words, but this was really good! The story summary really caught my interest! 9/10Author's Response: it's a prologue, so don't worry, my chaps do get longer and don't go under 1000 words after the two prologues are over and done with Report Review
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