I can't believe the collab has been finished! I've already read the whole thing, and wow what an amazing story. It's truly breathtaking when I think about the time and effort everyone has put into this, so congratulations everyone! The writing is pure quality, and this is a story that I'll read again and again, treasuring it carefully.
But this chapter was horrifying! Not in a bad way, but in an incredibly powerful way. We can feel Barty's fury...and then uncertainty tainted with regrets and even guilt. This was extremely dark, and it was describing Alice and Frank's faces as 'red' that made me shudder the most for some reason.
Enjoyed reading! What a fabulous chapter, story and collab.
-LWG Report Review
Wow, I can't believe this is over. Four years went into this, and I'm glad I'm still around to see how well it turned out. Once again, thanks for all the hard work you put into this, Alopex, the whole thing.
It was a nice touch to tie the title back into it all. Especially since it was thought up so long ago, doing that really showed how Barty (and this collab) have come full circle. And yet, it didn't feel artificial; we've really kept to our plans and themes and the only straying we did was to add detail, not take away from it. It only feels natural at this point to see that the seed of this story also lies in the Grey Lady, and those brilliant insights that weren't planned have been by far my favorite part of this entire collab. Perhaps it's easier for me to see because I've seen the original plans, but following each author's contribution and how it grows has been amazing to watch.
You caught a lot of the Grey Lady's character here as well. When Flitwick mentioned he wasn't sure if he were silencing her or trying to keep her from fleeing, I realized how accurate an action that was, considering Harry's difficulty getting to her in the first place. It's funny, she and Flitwick (getting nostalgic again, sorry!) have followed all the precedents set up in early chapters, and all fifteen or twenty authors in this have kept them strikingly similar from chapter to chapter.
If I don't stop here I may ramble on forever. So, fantastic job Alopex and penny with this chapter, and I'm so proud of all the effort that went into this so that I can be sitting here right now, reviewing the final chapter of this collab. Well done!!! Report Review
Really nice job with this chapter. As the story begins to tie up, it's nice to see the legacy of Barty, and not only how other Ravenclaws were different, but how he can be a comfort too-- my favorite part of this was how you tied it to the Grey Lady's image of herself. That's a really good point, and yet another dimension uncovered.
The flashbacks were nicely done as well. I think it's important to remember that Gryffindors aren't the only ones capable of bravery, and you demonstrated that here as well. At the same time, you tied intelligence into the fight; that troll scene was brilliant! Yet another enjoyable chapter. Report Review
AHHH! I am beyond proud to see this collab finished after so much hard work and effort by all claws! :) This was a fabulous chapter to end an amazing collab! Alopex, I thought you did a wonderful job with this chapter, it was really well written! I loved Flitwick and the Grey Lady's conversation here, their characterisation and their dialogue was just brilliant.
Flitwick's little paragraph about the divide in our souls, capacity for evil, and "The important thing is whether we get lost in that divide, allowing it to corrupt our lives, or whether we climb back out again." was just beautiful - it really tied up everything from the whole story and the past twenty chapters so well!
And the beginning things in this chapter were great too - using wingardium leviosa on a slab of stone in place of stairs is such an ingenious idea and the discussion about how even without magic muggles are able to create lots of destruction.. I also liked how Flitwick was able to pick up on Helena's feelings about the diadem, and some of the guilt which she must have been feeling.
This was an absolutely fantastic last chapter of an amazing collab. Every claw who contributed is amazing, and there is really such a high standard of talent in the writing. The plot throughout has been so unique, and I just loved how well this chapter tied everything together.
I've really loved reading this collab, and enjoyed it so much. An absolutely brilliant collab, and it is truly amazing to see such a huge project completed to such a high standard. :) Report Review
I just can't get over how beautifully written every chapter of this is! You 'Claw all have such brilliant talent 8D.
Ah, the steady transformation of Barty's personality is so well done. Where has the young boy gone? The young boy who held so much promise and life, now all twisted and corrupted by the Death Eaters. It's so sad, really. The whole thing is sad, but in a beautiful way :) Report Review
This chapter showed us further progression of Barty's relationships, and I loved it! He and Aurora compliment each other so well, and her attitude towards the more dodgy characters is already starting to chafe a little with Barty. I like how we could see his indecision and just plain nervousness, thanks to reports of Death Eater action, and it added a lot of depth to his character.
I love how Flitwick and Helena's commentary shows us different sides to the story. They're both biased, but it's interesting to see how future events have changed their views of the one now (at least, Helena's). It really pulls you in, and makes it so addictive!
I'm just really worried about what Rabastan is going to do!- we already know he's evil, and with these little hints that have been cleverly dropped, along with our own knowledge, he's already being characterised as a rather formidable character.
I'm so excited to see how this progresses!
~TGK Report Review
I'm finally getting around to reading our Collab! I feel like such a bad Ravenclaw for taking so long to get over here.
An excellent start with Helena and Flitwick. It's nice to think of Heads of Houses and their ghosts getting along and even consulting one another on their students. It really brings the feel of having many people care for you during your tender years. Report Review
Oh, Lysandra's death is so sad and sudden :( I still think it's a brilliant plot twist to have Frank kill her, showing the 'good' side in a completely new light. I really hate Barty's father in this (go and jump in a lake!!), but I'm liking all the father-son tension.
Great job everyone!! 8) Report Review
Aww. This chapter is so wonderful, and written so brilliantly. The way you went back and forth from Flitwick and the Grey Lady's conversation to actual scenes in the battle was amazing and it was really great how you conveyed how brave these Ravenclaws were. I loved the first line Flitwick says! And I loved how you've got Anthony and Terry, Luna, Cho and Penelope and even Roger Davies and Myrtle in this chapter.
I loved that bit where Terry and Anthony used what they learnt from Harry to use wingardium leviosa and Flitwick delighted because he taught them that spell. That was such a nice moment :) And it was so sad but right the way they were mourning Roger. All in all, this really was such a fantastic chapter - I just loved the way it went back and forth with all the Ravenclaw characters, and it was written so well :)
I can't believe there is only one chapter left to what has been an amazing collaboration. Every author has made every chapter so worth reading! :) Report Review
This was just /such/ a powerful chapter. Out of all the ways you could have described the Point Of No Return, this was definitely the best one! I had so many shivers.and the fact that it was Frank longbottom.
The thing I love is the exploration of the whole 'not everyone on the good side is perfect, not everyone on the bad side is evil.' It's not all written in black and white-there are patches of grey and cream too. I don't know...that was a weird metaphor. But hopefully you get what I mean!
If lysandra hadn't been killed, i think she would've saved Barty. This is just so sad. :'( But so well written!
-LWG Report Review
This chapter gave me chills. (again) The way it was written, though, with the italicized sections alternating with Flitwick and the Grey Lady. It was so perfect. I could hear the theme from the movie in my mind and I could just see this all playing out. I really love how everything came together in this one chapter. Ravenclaw seems to go fairly unmentioned in the final battle, except for Luna, of course, and you managed to show some great Ravenclaw moments. My favorite has to be Penelope saving Cho. I love how you showed that you don't have to fight to be a hero.
And then the last part, with Luna and the blue iris, just wow. It was so Luna~ish, first of all, which in itself is hard to pull off, but it was beautifully written. I love that you even gave Myrtle a moment in there. And then Luna's ending speech for Roger, um, I can't even describe it. The line of Latin (that is Latin, yes?) and its beautiful translation, along with Luna's simple way of stating things exactly how they are was perfection. And while we're on the subject of lines I love, the first line of this chapter was one of my favorite as well. Wait, no, it's the second line. That's really a great metaphor. You wrote this so well.
And on a happy note, ONE CHAPTER LEFT! :D I'm so proud of all you lovely Ravenclaws you have contributed to this!
-Naida Report Review
Ah, the drama!
I love Barty/Aurora. SO much. But I really want to find out what Barty and Rabastan were talking about...!
It was really interesting to have this chapter written entirely from Flitwick's point of view. He seems like such a great character :) Report Review
I think Rabastan was really good in this chapter, and I love how the plot is thickening so much! I feel sort of annoyed with barty...how he's veering off the tracks so much. I'm starting to come over to the Grey Lady's side :D Aurora is definitely my favourite character though. I love the description at the beginning,
'Aurora Sinistra seemed to be the only one in the entirety of Hogwarts with any sort of life left in her'
There's a perfect mixture of light and dark, which makes it such a captivating read!
The whole thing had a very polished feel to it! Great work, HarrietHopkirk and PrincessPadfoot :) Report Review
Aah this was so brilliant! I loved reading more of Barty's childhood and friendships; his characteristics that were beginning to show in the previous chapter (such as his ability to perform spells well above his school level) were definitely consolidated here.
I loved meeting Aurora, and how she was introduced to us slowly. She seems such a good influence on Barty at first, and through the snapshots we can get from Flitwick, they are good for each other! She seems so lovely, and I love how love of astronomy is already being shown so strongly :D
However, this suspicious guy Barty was meeting with really worries me! It might seem silly to be getting so attached him, but because Barty's fate is set, I just want to change it even more :( and the mention of Rabastan was very clever; very enticing, and I so wish I could read it immediately!
Also I love how we just see the snippets of Barty's life that Flitwick sees, because everything that is described holds weight and in many ways, it is a much richer character portrait because you don't have to soft through countless tales with not much point to them.
~TGK Report Review
This was also so brilliant! It was wonderful to see Barty shine, and to be shown what Flitwick saw in him from such a young age. I love how we can see hints already of who Barty will become; the curious flashes are very telling.
It's wonderful to see how intelligent Barty is too, and how he shines even amongst Ravenclaws. It also makes Flitwick shine, just subtly, in the way that he knew how to steer Barty - as in, to help the other students so that both Barty and whoever he is tutoring feel encouraged.
Already, the continual solitude of Barty (and the slightly scary expressionless face he wears when thinking alone) is worrying. I feel so sorry for him, and I just wish he had a friend! But the subtle hints that Barty was always /different/ from the other students were wonderful, as they implied that truth but didn't outright state it.
Also, I loved the bit in italics at the end. It was really enticing to read on, and made me so eager to find out what happens - it is brilliant teaser to remind the reader that there is much more to come!
Ooh, I so wish I could read the next chapter already :3 10/10!
~TGK Report Review
This was such a brilliant introduction to the story! I already love it so much (although who wouldn't love something Claws have come together to write?) And I'm very glad to stop by at last!
I loved how the scene was set, in an inbetween place where nothing was in order, but neither was it in the total chaos of the earlier battle. The scene was set so beautifully, and Flitwick's being there instead of the feast with this story to tell - well, I couldn't help being put right here beside him.
I like how Helena and Flitwick are friends, too. They seemed long used to each other's company, and comfortable enough to discuss their students the way two normal teachers would. I am so very intrigued about the story to come! It was sad, though, in the way that Helena was disappointed in her house. She shouldn't have to feel that way... But I suppose we'll have evidence to the contrary to come ;)
Is it really had to give an introduction 10/10? Ah well!
~TGK Report Review
This is so well-written. Barty's emotions and grief were painted so perfectly at the beginning - his numbness, his pain, all really well done. Barty Sr's characterisation was also done perfectly; his curtness, his misunderstanding of Barty Jr's need to say goodbye to his cousin properly.
Aaah! Through this POV it seems that Frank Longbottom is the bad guy! I shouldn't be feeling like this! Nooo! Well done, Jordan! This was written really well! Report Review
Eeee! This chapter! I love it! It's so well written - the dialogue and the characterisation are especially spot on in this one. I love how, even though the chapters are written by different authors, the flow and the characterisation still works throughout. It's awesome.
I love the dynamics you've got with Barty and his family, and Flitwick's observations. Aaah! Lysandra! Oh my God! The ending! And Frank! This is so sad but also quite exciting!
A really well written chapter, well done! Report Review
Absolute perfection! Honestly, that whole scene with Barty and the last kiss (great chapter title) was written so amazingly well! Since we never see this moment in the book, it was fascinating to read, and I loved how Barty wasn't that fearful because he knew Voldemort was alive again. And then when he starts to remember his time in Azkaban with the dementors before realising they are real - that was so clever!
Oh and I loved this Flitwick/Helena interaction even more than usual I think, perhaps because Helena's finally starting to change her mind.. and I just like how they come to the conclusion that Barty did indeed have Ravenclaw qualities, even if he used it for the wrong things.
All in all, a brilliant chapter - you definitely wrote the last kiss scene so well. :) Report Review
This chapter legitimately gave me chills. Wonderful job, Penny! Being the last chapter in Barty's story, you closed it off really well and I love the connections to Aurora that you made. It was brilliant.
The description of Azkaban made me cringe. It was incredible how you were able to go from describing the stars and Aurora into this dim image of Azkaban and still make it flow so perfectly. Barty almost seemed innocent once more in this last chapter, which I loved because it's like he came in a full circle.
The last bit did a lovely job setting up for the next chapter! Can't wait to see this finished!
-Naida Report Review
Ooh! This is so exciting, it's starting to build up to the end already! I loved how you portrayed Barty as someone so distant from everyone else and so focused on his mission. And I really liked how Barty was shocked that he was giving away the secrets because of Veritaserum, I definitely hadn't thought about how a person feels when they've had to drink veritaserum!
I always love the Flitwick/Grey Lady conversations - they always seem so scholarly-ish? But it's just a very interesting conversation and I think their characterisation and dialogue is just perfect! Looking forward to the next chapter, and great work on this one :) Report Review
The CI is very very cute and actually does make me think of a young Barty. He looks very sweet :)
This was another lovely chapter that I really enjoyed. The way Barty was described almost reminds me of a young Tom Riddle - brilliant, clever but a bit of a loner.
Again, the writing was lovely and I liked the inclusion of the framing device at the end.
Onto the next!
-AC Report Review
So, I'm a terrible reviewer but I really have been meaning to review this story for absolutely ages and it's really good to finally be here.
I loved the idea of the companionship of Helena and Flitwick and this was such a nice framing device for the rest of the story. This is the sort of thing that makes me want to see lots of teacher/ghost friendships to sprout up :)
It was written beautifully too and I can't wait to read onwards :) Report Review
Ooh, I got so excited when I saw this update :D Thank you to Sony for writing this so quickly for us!
I think you managed to portray Barty really well in this. I think it was one of the most difficult scenes to write, being so close to the events in GoF, but you managed to give us a fresh take on Barty's perspective. I really liked his thoughts when he was talking to Harry. The bits with Karkarodd and how he was getting so angry were spot on.
I also really liked the bit at the end. It set up the following chapters nicely, since as I remember, there will be a chapter where Flitwick points out all the good little Ravenclaws.
Excellent job with this as usual!
-Naida Report Review
Hellooo! It's finally me again. So sorry for the long gap, I've been busy :(
Oh, this is my favourite chapter so far. Aurora and Barty...I just love them both so much. Barty has a good heart underneath it all, we can tell that (through your amazing writing skills). I'm also starting to really not like The Grey Lady.
That last line!? That sent shivers down my spine.
An amazing job guys. Well done ohcrapidroppedmybrain and PrincessPadfoot! Report Review
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