My favourite character is charlie. Please update soon 9/10 : ) Report Review
Good chapter. Bill is great 9/10 : ) Report Review
Dag is jelous 9/10 : ) Report Review
Haha loved it!! 9/10 : ) Report Review
Yay charlie didnt loose his job 9/10 : ) Report Review
Charlie would look so silly with purple 9/10 : ) Report Review
Loved it. Great story 9/10 : ) Report Review
That was good. Charlie has always been my favourite weasley 9/10 : ) Report Review
Hey, sorry I haven't reviewed so far! Maybe I'll go back after this. I really love the story so far! I've never read a Charlie fanfic, and I really like this. I do NOT like that Leopold fellow, he bugs me. Why Meg likes him is beyond me. I love Molly, she's awesome. Can't wait until the next chapter! : )
~Moony Report Review
I can't believe he was stupid enough to forget about the dragon. I don't have much more to say about the chapter, it was well written but not much happened; it evolved around Sam needing to wake up so Charlie could yell at her. Request again if you want me to continue reviewing. I enjoyed your work.Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review, it's always appreciated :) glad you think it was well written, and yeah I guess this was sorta of a filler chapter, I hate them, but they just happen sometimes. Report Review
So I assume Bill and Fleur aren't married in your story either. Maybe Fleur will be included later on. It's always funny to read people trying to give her an accent. I can't do it, I just don't write about her. You have no idea how good it feels to take a break from all this college stuff and just chill out on my bed and read hpff :) and a good story at that ;) So Dag believes in the ideology of hoes before bros, like most men. Uh-oh, mama dragon, not good. Dragon hunting, this is just so cool. So clever you are! Poor mama dragon :( There's something odd about Sam, I feel like she can talk to dragons or has some magical bond with them or something. She understands them like no one else seems to. I want to know what's going on.Author's Response: No they aren't married. It's an alternate universe type thing I guess. I was considering mentioning her later on in the story but it all depends where Bill and Molly's relationship goes. It would be fun to attempt her accent, I don't think I've ever tried before.
I know exactly how you feel. I'm writing my thesis right now aka surfing around hpff ;)
You're on the right track with Meg, keep your eyes open for the clues!
I'm glad you like it thanks for reading/reviewing. Report Review
I know I have intended to read your story for a long time now and have not. I am going to right now. I changed my reviewer page. Because of my current hectic lifestyle, I am only reviewing the first 3 chapters, if you like the way I review, I am asking you to review again. Thanks.
You make it sounds like working with dragons is like running a zoo, interesting connection. I like how normal you made it all sound. I wonder where your inspiration for this story came from. Charlie isn't a character, nor are dragons a creature, often written about. Haha, this is intriguing, dragons mating, curious. Lol. I'm not sure what to think of the Molly/Charlie interaction so far.Author's Response: I appreciate your thoughts and advice, I don't mind the wait.
I chose to write about Charlie because he isn't written about often and I wanted to try and do a more original character as the MC.
I knew Charlie worked with Dragons so I just went with that and my friend and I brainstormed to come up with Molly as the main character.
Molly and Charlie have a long way to go in their relationship with one another in this story. They are both very stubborn, plus Molly has some secrets.
Thanks for reading Report Review
My favorite character is definitely Charlie, which is weird for me considering I usually love secondary characters. Something about him I love. Leo is up to something and it has to do with Molly. Oh, nice foreshadowing in a few spots btw. I think the date is going to go well actually. We need more time for Charlie to stew about them dating. Leo + Meg = win.
I really liked this chap, but I had some of my regular beta-ness go off. You rushed a lot of it, but sometimes it worked and other times I wanted scenes and descriptions, you know? It just felt very fast and rushed.
I can't wait to see what is going to happen next. I'm excited and I'm excited to find more out about Molly, niffler sniffing, and polyjuice. :) Great chap!Author's Response: That is weird for you, I know. It's because he's cocky and has red hair I think. Yes Leo is up to something, well spotted ;) That date is going to go very well haha cause bill is suave
Thanks for the review, oh and if i would have had this beta'd it would still be waiting to go up just like the banner for my other story *wink wink*
love u Report Review
"Right now he cared more about all three of his friends ditching him just because he slept with their mother, or pretended to date their crush, or hexed their head to three times its normal size. "
hee. this new boss character seems intriguing. and bill! fun chapter thanks for writing!Author's Response: Thank you for quoting and for sticking with me for so long, and coming back for more! I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. I liked writing it a lot and the next chapter will be featuring more Bill, though he is giving me difficulties at the moment :) Report Review
wow charlie, she must've been something (meg's mother i mean)! haha. poor carter and hmm the new guy is very sketchy! wonder if molly's got some crazy secret life and this guy is about to reveal everything...maybe use it as blackmail? hmm, interesting indeed! aww bill, what a charmer, ha at charlie for being such a loner, poor guy. i wonder if bill will be playing cupid for molly and charlie... :)
more yea.Author's Response: Bill's got it all, devilishly good looks, a dash of adventure, and enough smooth talking to make a smoothie out of :)
You'll be seeing much more of Leopold to the dismay of Charlie ;) and he is up to something...
Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
As a matter of fact, I was definitely at the premiere. I might have seen you there ;) Did you see Rupert? I did. There was this purple camera in most of my pictures though and I could have just screamed :)
I loved this chapter. You know why? Leo. He's so awesome. I want to punch him in the head and I can't wait to see what you do with him next. He sounds like a problem, especially in the Meg department if you know what I mean. Heck, I'm not even sure I know what I mean. Anyway, I love Leo. Cracks me up. But the person I love the most is definitely Bill. I think the only thing you need to really work on is adjusting Bill into your writing style. I like him so far! I like how suave he is because I totally always pictured Bill like that. What a tosser! I really like Bill elbowing Charlie to move to the other side. That just makes the whole scene. That's my favorite quote I think. It's just awkward silence and then.move, dude, this is weird and not masculine enough for two brothers. hahahaha.
Love loved this chapter. I hear you have Spattergroit. How's that working out for you? Good? Fantastic.
Keep up the good work and I can't wait to read the next chapter! 10/10 for shorzz!Author's Response: That darn purple camera! One of them was in my way as well.
Thanks for the awesome review. I love it! Bill is going to be a handful. I'm so worried about getting his character right that it's coming out all wrong. I'm going to fight with some more in a bit.
I do love that part too. I sat there staring at the screen rereading that part and I was like hmmm they are both on the same side of the table now...that's awkward. Glad you liked that part.
Ur and awesome beta btw, thanks for that :) Report Review
lmao. this is great! i dont ever read stories about the other characters since i've usually stuck with sirius/oc, dramione, or scorpius/rose and this is one of the best i've read so far. i like that they have that whole love/hate relationship thing going on and i like that you dont make them in love all of a sudden. you slowly build and develop their characters and its great! the characters are funny and awesome. :)
more please! :DAuthor's Response: :) You know I've got to get out there and read a more varied group of stories as well. Maybe a maurder's era one b/c I've hardly read any of those.
I'm looking forward to but also nervous about writing the part where they get together because right now they dislike each other so much it seems impossible that that will ever change. Hopefully I can do it in a non cliche and unexpected way. This is the first novel length story I've ever written and it's been great practice for character building.
For you to say this was one of the best you've ever read makes me super happy and excited to keep working on this story! THANK YOU!
Just submitted chapter 7 for validation btw ;) Report Review
You requested a review in January. It is now July. You have permission to throw rocks at me. provided the rocks are made out of feathers :]
I am so sorry! But I haven't forgotten about you :D
First off: OH MY GOD YOU HAVE A CHARLIE WEASLEY STORY OH MY GOD YOU ARE AMAZING OH MY GOD THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
There are not enough stories about him. And, ok, I'm a helpless romantic and basically eat up anything romantic but... it's Charlie! There is so much we don't know about him and he works with DRAGONS. How cool is that? Very cool. How can you not be in love with him and want to...
Umm. Moving along. *laughs nervously*
(I think I might be in love with about half of the male Harry Potter characters. It's actually kind of pathetic).
Hokay. So on with the actual reviewing and not so much of my pointless babbling.
You said you were concerned with pacing. I think you're fine with it. It's fast, but it works with this story. It's not as though you're just jumping from scene to scene - it does flow well. So be happy about that :]
The humour is nice! I did break out in a few chuckles while reading it. And it's just a generally fun, energetic story. I really like that about it!
Your representation of Charlie is one that I like. Again, we know so little about him so you pretty much have free reign over how you want to interpret his character. And I think you've done well.
I do, however, have just one thing I would like to say. PLEASE don't take this harshly! I just sort of turn into Beta Mode whenever I review for people who request them and... yeah. I probably shouldn't. But I do. So, please. I really hope you don't take this badly. It's not said in a negative way!
I think one problem you have with your writing is that you carry the plot through dialogue. Dialogue is fun, it gives us a lot of insight into characters, it provides relief from big chunks of paragraph text BUT: be careful with how you use it. I think that if you just added a little bit more to your paragraphs and a little less to your dialogue, it might improve your writing. It's just something I always pay attention to. My Year 10 teacher told me about this and ever since I listened to her, my writing improved so much. So, so much. I can't tell you how much.
You seem to have fun with this story. And I think it reflects in your writing. I read it with a smile on my face.
-blueironyAuthor's Response: haha, better late then never i suppose :) I\\\'d forgotten I asked you for a review so you would have been off the hook ;)
For starters thanks for at least making it long and insightful, I love that!
I\\\'m glad you pointed out how my dialogue carries the story mostly because I think that\\\'s been said before by a teacher or something but I\\\'d forgotten. Sometimes I get carried away with the dialogue. I think I\\\'ve done better on that in the 7th chapter though.
I think there should be some more Charlie stories too but I think people shy away from him because he\\\'s older. Maybe I\\\'ll work on a one shot of him at Hogwarts to get people more interested...
Thanks again for the review :) Report Review
More quoting! :) Here we go...
'He loved his family but spending a whole week with them was more exhausting then wrestling with an angry Lulu.' - Hilarious! And so true. The Weasleys are a crazy group.
'S.A.M. It was perfect.' - Oh, Charlie. What a jokester!
'Hardigan ate nonsense for breakfast.' - I am cracking up left and right! (: Great humor in this story.
'He told me because I threatened to pants him in front of Meg.' - *snickers*
Oh my goodness, I love Meg! She's great! All your characters are, in fact. I've already told you that your characterization is great, but you deserve to hear it again. Haha. Honestly, you've introduced so many characters, yet I'm not overwhelmed in the least. They are all so unique and real. Amazing job.
Your pacing was much better in this chapter. Nothing was rushed or out of place. It all felt a lot smoother. Great work there, too!
What an exciting chapter! You've thrown us right into Charlie's life, and I'm really liking the story so far. I really don't know what else to say at this point. It's clear you can write, and keep track of your characters, and engage your readers. Great job overall. A joy to read.
A solid 9/10 for this chapter! Keep up the great work, and feel free to re-request for another two chapters. I promise it won't take months for me to fill your request this time. Heh.
GinaAuthor's Response: If you love Meg just wait until you meet her mother ;)
again thanks for pointing out your favorite quotes!
My creative writing teacher would love to hear that you think my characterization is great b/c he is pretty much obsessed with characterization.
I hope I will be be able to hold on to all of the threads in this story they get rather complicated in later chapters.
Thanks for spending so much time on this review. It really means a lot. Report Review
First of all, so sorry it's taken me three+ months to get to your review. But now I'm here, and I've got some compliments to send your way. :) But first, a few quotes...
'I am such a horrible boss for not letting a dragon use your arm as a toothpick.' - *giggles* I love Charlie already.
'Marco was still there, he was sitting in a spinny chair off to the side and he was using his wand to spin himself faster and faster.' - Haha, I love this guy, too! (:
Wow, what a fast-paced, interesting first chapter! You really know how to grab readers' attention. Let me just say I'm really glad you started in this way. You didn't have to go into detail about Charlie or his life, really, because you showed us exactly what we needed to know about him through the action in this chapter. We now know that he is a cool guy, loves dragons, is second in command at the colony, is a bit full of himself, and is a good leader who sometimes forgets to use common sense. Sometimes. I really like your development of him, so far.
As for your other concerns... I definitely thought your humor was well done. As you already know (because of the parts I quoted), I find both Charlie and Marco to be hilarious. I was laughing at loud at a few parts. (: And your other OCs are great, as well. Character development is where you shine.
A few things you could work on are pacing and fixing up your grammar/spelling. The second one is easily fixed with a beta. It's hard to find mistakes in your own writing, so you may need a pair of outside eyes. Also, the pacing. This is a bit more difficult to fix. I'd reccommend going back over it very slowly and carefully, and smoothing out the parts that seem rushed. The bit between the Lulu scene and the pyro dragon (hehe) scene was a bit quick, for example. And the bit about the colony, when you were explaining it, was a bit choppy.
Overall, an 8/10 for you. Nice introductory chapter! I'm off to the second chapter now, and I'm excited to see where your plot will go.
GinaAuthor's Response: hey there :) waiting three months was well worth it for review like this! Thank you for quoting your favorite parts b/c, well, that's my favorite part of reviews!
I tried to model Charlie off of all the Weasley's in a way, he's a little bit serious like percy, a little bit funny like the twins, and a bit thick headed like Ron. Plus he's got some unique qualities thrown in to make him different from the rest of his fam.
If you make it to further chapters I guarantee you will love Marco even more!
Thanks for pointing out the places where I rushed too much. That will really be helpful when I go back to edit later. Rushing over scenes is really one of my weaknesses, I will definitely be working on that in future chapters. I just get so excited to get to the next scene sometimes that I kind of skip ahead.
Thanks for the help :) And if I might add you are very good at this review thing! Report Review
Fun chapter. I love Dag and Meg! That preview was rather tantalizing. Thanks for writing!Author's Response: hello again, I see you found your way over to my longer story :) yay, glad the preview got you wanting more, chapter 7 is going to be amazing!
Thank You for reviewing! Report Review
I loved this chapter. My favorite part was Meg's parents...because well, they're pretty much insane. I love Meg's mom. She makes everything so much more interesting, you know? I'm really excited to see more of Molly and Charlie, but the thing I'm most excited about is Bill getting there. I think he'll bring a whole new dynamic to the story which will be a nice change. Looking forward to the next chapter! 10/10Author's Response: Bill will be making his wonderful appearence in the next chapter. I can't wait til he gets there either. You'll be seeing more of Meg's mom, as you well know ;)
Thanks for reviewing Report Review
I like the seeds you left. There need to be a few in the previous chapters, but that's why revising is so much fun! I like how Charlie and Molly are growing, and the interactions between them.
p.s.- anchovies are delicious.Author's Response: i knew someone would have to like anchovies besides charlie lol.
Thanks for reviewing
stay tuned: Charlie and Molly as well as the rest of the characters get much more interesting, I promise! Report Review
haha oh this should turn out well
nice writingAuthor's Response: hello again :)
i think "well" is an understatement.
Thank You!! you made my day with two simple words! Report Review
First of all.great chapter. the part about Dag and macro getting arrested becasue he was chasing birds cracked me up.
and yehhh i could really do with some snitch slippers.
ps. im more of a bbq chicken type of girl.Author's Response: oh alcohol, it affects even the magical types :)
u know i bet they make snitch slippers somewhere now that I think about it...
bbq chicken yummy
I should be updating faster now that school is out for the summer * Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection