Reading Reviews for Love, Not War
  
443 Reviews Found

Review #1, by mymischiefmanaged |Draco's Intro| "This is My Story"

22nd July 2014:
Hiya, I've not read anything in Draco's voice before so this is really interesting. The writing style doesn't quite match up with what I'd expect from Draco but then in the books we only ever see him with Harry so it's completely plausible that there is more to him than we realise.

The discussion of 'All's fair in love and war' is very accurate and an interesting opening to the story, showing something about Draco's character (that he thinks deeply about his situation and is very thoughtful underneath the arrogance we see in the books) as well as reminding us of the horrible state of the war.

Draco struggling with being compared to his Father is interesting as we'd expect him to invite this comparison. It's good to see that he wants to distance himself from his family and be his own person.

It's disturbing but effective to see the way Lucius and Narcissa taught Draco their beliefs from a young age, and you do a great job of showing how as a child he accepted them without question.

I'm glad Narcissa tells Draco she loves him, and your description of Lucius's attitude to love fits in completely with the way he seems in the books. It's sad but probably very accurate to see how Draco grew up not really understanding what being in love means.

I also like Draco's justification for why he's telling his story and his dismissal of Harry. It's just like him to try to one up Harry even after everything they've been through, and it's clear this isn't done with malicious intent.

Good work. This looks like a really interesting basis for a story and I'm interested to see how it progresses.

Emma x

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Review #2, by marauderfan |Prolouge| Blessed With a Son

16th July 2014:
Hello! Here with your requested review!

What interesting insight on Voldemort's opinions of Draco - it makes sense that he would be irritated at the Malfoys for taking some of their attention away from serving their Dark Lord. (Also, even though I should probably not be giggling during this scene, the idea of Voldemort there at the birth like a really creepy midwife is just cracking me up haha.)

Oh wow - so intense, first an Unbreakable Vow and then Draco is pledged to be a Death Eater from age 10-minutes. Very chilling scene. This is a really interesting take on Lucius and Narcissa. I realise the story is meant to be slightly AU so I'll not comment on how the characters compare to JK's, just how they are in terms of your story. They do seem very loving and concerned, and it's interesting to see that even this early on they were losing their enthusiasm for the DE's. I felt badly for them as they were really forced into this unbreakable vow and had no choice at all. I can't see how Lucius could have made another decision and still kept Draco alive, so all things considered he did the right thing. But how horrible for them, on what should be a happy day :(

A bit of CC/ things to watch out for... I've noticed that often you tend to use semicolons rather than commas, for example here: This day; as well as the night that followed it, should have been seemingly happy. -- Semicolons are used to connect two phrases that could be sentences by themselves, so after "this day" should be a comma.

Also, I know the intro is told in the POV of a different Draco than in the books, but I thought I'd point out that he seems a bit... off. Just the way there are a lot of exclamation marks and angsty emphasis, it kind of makes him sound like he's 15 - it could be fixed by just toning it down a bit. ;)

Otherwise, I think it's an interesting start, and the AU twist you've added about Lucius and Narcissa seems pretty intriguing. I'm curious to see what you'll do with their characters, and how everything affects their relationship with their son (which, based on the intro, Draco has a negative opinion of them despite how hard they tried, aw.)

Great work!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm just glad that SOMEONE out there gets it as to why Voldemort would be upset with the Malfoy's trying to have a baby right in the middle of the 1st war. Some people think that makes him OOC, because they think the Dark Lord would be proud to welcome a new pure-blood into the world. While I do see where they are coming from, I feel like he would say that there is a time and a place for everything, lol. So thank you, for commenting on that first. I appreciate you for agreeing with me, lol!! ;)

I have a new Beta now, and we are smack in the middle of re-writing and editing all of these beginning chapters right now. So thanks for pointing out the little grammar details and such. I will definitely add that to my list of things to look for when I edit this chapter now!! :)

Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by and review this for me! I am SO SORRY that it has taken me so long to respond. I have been extremely busy this summer. I even had to miss the last week of this House Cup because of my insane work schedule!! =/

But anyways, I hope you will continue to read/review the rest. I will be sure to come back and re-request once I have all the new edited chapters posted. I am in the middle of re-writing the beginning right now, so stay tuned, haha!! =D


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Review #3, by Gabriella Hunter |Prolouge| Blessed With a Son

12th July 2014:
HELLO!

Its Gabbie here with your review! Its nice to meet you! I stalk the forums and archives every once in a while so be sure to stop by and chat if thou would want weird conversation.

Anyhoo, this was a really different beginning for a story. I was drawn in from the first sentence, the scene you created was dark and so foreboding and whatever joy that was supposed to have come from having a baby was completely destroyed. Voldemort holding a baby is enough to make me shiver and what he actually commanded out of Lucius and his wife was horrible! How terrible is that? I thought you wrote the Dark Lord very well though, I had never given him much of a chance myself but he seemed very fleshed out here, I think that you kept a lot his foulness just right. Poor Lucius though! I'd never liked about him as a character but here he seems to real and human, I felt so sorry for him. Draco's life was spared but at such a terrible price! I lost my mind for a second there. Its such a great twist to Draco's life, I'm eager to see how it works out in later chapters. His parents will regret it later, I'm sure...

I'll most likely come back to this but if I don't, feel free to re-request. I didn't spot too many grammar things but maybe a word or two is missing from the third of paragraph? I thought the characters were written well, I would have liked a little more detail on Lucius's marriage and how he felt about Narcissa, maybe just a little background on their romance and relationship. Otherwise, I really liked it!

Now, as someone who hardly ever gets reviews, I understand your pain. I haven't gotten a review for some of my other stories in a year or two? Don't give up on your writing though and make sure that you promote them!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey there!! Sorry for taking so long to respond to this. I have been SOO busy this summer... ^_^'

It's so nice to hear that people think Voldy is in character here now. OMGosh, for a few years, this chapter was so bad, lol! I was embarrassed to ask people to read it because everything was so... off. But then I edited it a few years ago and I am quite proud of how it has turned out now!! :)

Anyways, I am so glad you liked it tho!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read & review this for me. I really do hope that you will come back and read more. If not, I will be back to re-request, but not until I have the newly edited chapters posted. This story is getting a HUGE makeover right now, as you may have noticed. I am quite excited to relaunch this again!! =D


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Review #4, by adluvshp |Draco's Intro| "This is My Story"

12th July 2014:
So I really like this opening chapter of Draco giving an introduction to his story. The way you've written his thoughts, it's like you're in his head. You seem to understand him quite well, and I like your portrayal of him.
I found that bit amusing about there being a lot of books about Harry and none about the people who helped him. Draco's reaction to that is nicely written and I'm glad he took matters into his own hands and decided to write something about himself (or get it written).

The part about Lucius made me feel sorry for Draco. His relationship with his father was anything but simple and loving. I also liked the whole contemplation about the concept of love. The way you wrote it again expressed Draco's thoughts perfectly, as that's how I'd imagine him to think about such things.

Great start to the story!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

House Cup 2014 Review.

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Review #5, by ginnypotter242 |Draco's Intro| "This is My Story"

12th July 2014:
So, this was an interesting introduction. I'm interested to see where you're going with this story.

Draco does seem a little OOC in this, and I'm interested to see what has changed him. If I could recommend one thing, I'd say try to cut down on the amount of exclamation points. Even if Draco has changed quite a bit, it doesn't really fit in his voice, and many exclamation points in one chapter make it a little distracting and stops it from flowing as well.

This is an interesting idea, and your summary interested me. I really would like to see where this story goes, and how you write Draco and the rest of the characters. The war is over in this story right? Voldemort is dead and gone? I do like Draco's thoughts throughout this chapter, about love. It sets up the story very well, and makes me want to read more (because honestly, Draco and love is interesting). Nice job on this chapter! Looking forward to seeing where this story goes :)

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for checking this out!! I am in the editing stages of this right now, so I will definately look back over this and fix all those exclamation points. Honesty, I forgot all about editing the Intro, lol. So I am very glad you mentioned that, thanks! :)

To answer your question; this story is AU, and it takes place two years after Dumbledore's death. The Trio is still out Hurcrux hunting, so Voldemort is NOT dead yet, and the war IS still going on. This Intro was just written from Draco's POV after everything is all said and done. Sorry for the confusion with that, lol. You will see at the beginning of chapter 1 where everyone stands at, and hopefully everything will make more sense by then! ^_^;

Thank you so much for checking this out hun, I appreciate it! I am looking SO forwards to hearing your thoughts on the rest of it as well. I'm off to bed right now, but I will be sure to check out your author page and swap back asap tomorrow when I get off work! I really, really hope that you like the rest if you do decide to keep reading. Thanks for the review, Sarah. Nice to meet you! =D


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Review #6, by Unicorn_Charm |Draco's Intro| "This is My Story"

12th July 2014:
Hi there! :)

Aww poor Draco. :( How horrible it must have been, growing up, for him. Never knowing love, always searching for approval, forever feeling inadequate. That was so sad to read. It was fantastic, but horribly sad.

I really enjoyed this opening chapter. I think the idea of making the first chapter in first person was brilliant. I loved how it gave some background and a small glimpse at what's to come. It definitely piqued my interest and will have me reading more, for sure. I would love to see what you have in store for Draco's side of the study!


Great job and I cannot wait to read more!

House Cup 2014 Review

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hey!! =D
I am so glad you liked the intro!! Thanks so much for stopping by to check this out, hun. I hope that you will continue to read more and see where everything goes!! I am excited to hear your thoughts on the rest of the story as well! :)

I reviewed your Remus One-Shot already, and I really liked it!! I would love to swap with ya again some time. Thanks again for taking the time to read & Review, I appreciate it!


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Review #7, by Lostmyheart |Prolouge| Blessed With a Son

4th July 2014:
Hi!

I'm finally here to finish your requested review! I'm sooo sorry it took so long. I had exams, a lot of guests and a computer that broke down. But no matter, I'm here now :)

It was a very nice chapter, I really liked how you portrayed Lucius - like this concerned, and already loving father. But I don't really understand WHY Lord Voldemort wanted to kill his 'top-rank' death eaters newborn son? If Lucius is top-rank as you said, they wouldn't be treated so horribly by their Dark Lord. I also don't quite understand why Lucius feels that way about Draco maybe ending up loving the Dark Arts. If he willingly became a Death Eater, this wouldn't even be a problem... If you know what I mean.
But I do like the aspects of it - how Draco's parents are. It's kind of refreshing.
The story flow was very easy, and I liked how simple this chapter was and it showed that even as a newborn, Draco already had a lot of responsibilities to live up to, to grow up to. Poor Draco.

Normally I end my reviews by saying you can re-request, but I've decided to close my offered review thread - to lessen the burden of responsibilities from my shoulders.
I do hope you found my reviews helpful - though this one was rather short.

I enjoyed reading you story :)
- Lostmyheart

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Review #8, by MrsJaydeMalfoy |Chapter 34| Freedom Always Comes at A Price

24th June 2014:
YUS! First review!! :P

I have so many different, mixed feelings about this chapter. First off, it makes me really anxious for the next one! Haha! :P It's very suspenseful and I'm very curious to see what will happen with Roxi/McGonagall, Roxi/Draco, Saleena/Draco/Roxi, and Roxi/everyone... haha!

But there's also a part of me that's really thrilled that Roxi is back. Because that means she's closer to Draco (although with the situation being what it is right now, I'm pretty sure they won't be together anytime soon...( :(

However, I know Roxi is going to fall to pieces when she finds out Draco is alive... I'm really waiting to see that reaction, and wondering how that will play out.

I felt really proud in this chapter, too, of how Molly and Saleena stood up to Arthur... Girl power! haha! :P I also felt worried for Draco and his legs, but glad to see he was making some progress.

I felt so sorry for Roxi, though. She really has been through so much, and I have a feeling that, unfortunately, there's more to come. I thought the change in her hair and eye color was an excellent touch to show just how much she has suffered, and how emotionally torn she is right now.

I know we've already seen some mixed reactions to her appearance, but I'm really curious about what the other Order members will say when they find out.

And, as always, this was an EXCELLENT chapter, my dear! I can't wait for the next!! ♥

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Review #9, by MrsJaydeMalfoy |Chapter 33: A Logical, Medical Explination|

24th June 2014:
Soo, I was on my way to review the newest chapter, but something told me to stop by this one first, and... *Stares at chapter's reviews* o.O ?? How did I manage to NOT leave a review for this chapter?? :O I have no idea what happened but I feel absolutely horrible now! But, I'm here now... hopefully this review will make up for its tardiness!

I really loved the interactions between Saleena and Kireonna in this chapter, and of course I was thrilled to find out that there was a counter-curse for Draco's legs, but also horrified to discover that it caused him so much pain! It was very selfless of Kireonna to take the pain for him, though, and I think that really shows a progression in the interactions between the two of them as well.

I am still very curious to see what will happen with Saleena and the 'Queen' business, as well as how all of that will play into the rest of the story. Honestly, dear, I know you have one-shots about Saleena, but I really think you could turn her story into a whole other novel. :P

Great chapter, dear, (even if I am saying this wayyy late), and now I'm off to review the newest!! ♥

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Review #10, by Lostmyheart |Draco's Intro| "This is My Story"

14th June 2014:
Hi there :)

I'm here for your requested review. I know you said that I should just review the prologue insted of this, but since I can't really focus on one thing at a time, I decided to review this and then read the prologue later, when I can.
I hope it's okay for you which it probably will be - because you get two reviews instead of one! :)

First of all, I liked this chapter - it was a great start to your story, where we get to see how Draco is, what he has been through and what he feels about certain things.
One of the things I noticed was how he asked why people didn't see that he wasn't like his father, and then afterwards explain that no one knew what was really happening beind the curtains, that people didn't know the real Lucius Malfoy. I'm not sure if you intended to write it like that, but if people don't know the real Lucius, they wouldn't be able to see that Draco wasn't like him. I may have misunderstood it, but that's what confused me a little :)
Another thing is that the Death Eaters didn't call Voldemort for Voldemort, at least that's what I remember from the books. They only called him the Dark Lord and other similar 'royal' names. But since it's Draco who said Voldemort, and he didn't seem to worship him like his parents (or mostly his father) I guess it makes sense for him to call him that :) Unless Lucius brainwahsed him to call him the Dark Lord - which would also make sense.

You're an exceptional writer, and everything was a joy to read. The story flow was nice and easy. And this chapter gave a good impression of who Draco is :)

I'll get to your prologue when I can :)
- Lostmyheart

Author's Response: Hey there!! Sorry it has taken me a few days to get back to you on this. I've been over on the forums a lot for the House Cup, but totally forgot to checkup on my stories, lol!! ^_^'

But yeah, you are my 1st Reviewer for this story in like a YEAR, lol!! Do you even understand how much I love you right now? ;)

Sorry if it seemed a tad confusing. This intro is in Draco's POV after the events of the story have taken place. I guess I should probly clarify that somewhere, huh? I am actually about to undergo some serious revision on this story soon tho, so I will definitely keep that in mind when I do start going back over everything. Thanks for pointing that out! It's good to have a fresh pair of eyes on this, especially since I haven't been able to update and work on it in over a year, due to college.

& I think once you get into the story a bit more, you will understand why Draco does not call Voldemort "The Dark Lord" anymore. Again, this is future-Draco talking, if that makes sense. You're actually pretty close with the whole "Lucius Brain-washing Draco" comment, lol! Once you read the prologue tho, I think a lot more things will start to come together... I can't wait to hear your thoughts on that one as well!! Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to do this for me, I truly do appreciate you!! =)


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Review #11, by emwalker |Chapter 33: A Logical, Medical Explination|

3rd July 2013:
I love love love love love this story. Please hurry up and write more :p This story is seriously amazing. there are only a few things that I have noticed as a mess up. For instance, Draco did not know that Lucas was a werewolf or that Fenir was his master. All Draco know (according to the previous chapters) was that Lucas was working with someone else and that he had a master other than the Dark Lord. But then in later chapters, Draco suddenly knew that Lucas was a werewolf and that his master was fenir. I could have missed something where this was explained but I didnt think so. :p

Author's Response: Hello!! I know it had been almost a year now since you left this review... I was away ALL of 2013 for school, and I just recently returned to HPFF. I am so, SO sorry for leaving you hanging for this long hun. I have been trying to find you on the forums to let you know that I just added a new chapter this week tho. I hope that one day soon you will check in and see this response, and continue to read the new chapters again. Ch. 34 is up now, and I am currently working on ch. 35, so I hope to have another update by about the middle of next month (which is July 2014).

Since I was gone from HPFF for 14-16 months, I pretty much lost a LOT of my followers for this story. But now that I am back again, I am getting ready to revamp and edit the entire thing from chapter 1 on. Therefore, I will most definitely look into that whole Draco-knowing-about-Lucas thing when I do my edits. Thanks for bringing that to my attention, dear. :)

I am so glad that someone out there finds this story to be so amazing!! Your words of encouragement really do mean a lot to me. They have given me the inspiration to pick this thing back up again; that's for sure!! I just wish that I could actually thank you personally, somehow... Again, I am very sorry that I didn't see and reply to this review sooner. However, if you DO see this reply tho, Emwalker, PLEASE try to get ahold of me on the forums!! I go by RoxiMalfoy over there, so you should be able to find me pretty easily. Shoot me a PM and I would be more than happy to give you a sneak-peak at the next few chapters. I know it's not much, but I feel like this is the least that I can do to say "thank you" for your support. Even when I wasn't around, you read this whole thing and took the time to leave me a review. And to me, that means the world. (((HUGS))) I really do hope to hear from you again some day!! =)


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Review #12, by Ravensclaw93 |Chapter 6| The Spy

13th June 2013:
Hey, continuing on (Should probably point out that I've read up to chapter 12 at this point) and we finally meet Roxi. I'll be totally honest, I like Saleena better than Roxi, at least so far, but that's not any fault of your writing or characterization at all, just my preference for characters. I will say though that I think Roxi is a good match for Draco. Pairing someone with Malfoy takes finding a character that can put up with him and Roxi is definitely capable of that. I'm sure she'll grow on me!

Aside - Nice job with Fleur's dialogue in this one. It was very readable, unlike when some others write her and Hagrid and every word is a jumbled mess.

And hey, look, Percy's a jerk! Okay, so...I already knew he was the spy...but still a great reveal.

Another solid chapter, I'm on to the next!

PS: I almost forgot to mention, Neville's name is misspelled here...should be a quick fix :)

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Review #13, by Ravensclaw93 |Chapter 5| A Drop of Veritaserum

13th June 2013:
I really enjoyed the interview scene with Saleena and McGonagall. It was a tad quick, but I know you don't want to draw it out overly long and bore the reader. The follow up to it though was great, I think Saleena is probably my favorite character in this story. You managed to give her a good verbal back and forth with McGonagall without making her seem weak or overly imposing, and that's pretty impressive!

Moving along.

Oh, yeah, sidenote, 10/10. ;)

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Review #14, by Ravensclaw93 |Chapter 4|At the Kitchen Table

30th May 2013:
You've got a real talent for multiple characters, if you've never been told that. In that, I mean you're really, really good at including a lot of characters in a single chapter/place/time and keep them all interesting and involved, but not in a distracting way. All the characters contribute, without it being forced or messy. It's also really impressive how distinct you keep their personalities. Each character talks and behaves the way they should, for the canon characters, and Saleena has a real personality to her too, one I really enjoy. Moving right along to the next chapter!

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Review #15, by Sam |Prolouge| Blessed With a Son

22nd February 2013:
Love it! This is truly amazing!!

Author's Response: Thanks you so much!! I'm glad you like it. I can't wait hear your thoughts on other chapters too!! =)

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Review #16, by Jchrissy |Chapter 2| The Healer

31st January 2013:
Hi my dear! Here for review exchange!

I know you were unsure about how much time you would have to review this month, so don't worry if you aren't able to fulfill your side of it. It won't count against you for the next time that you are able to sign up :)

Onto the chapter!

Honestly, the length didn't bother me. Once I'm reading, I'm reading, you know? And we found out a lot of information in this chapter, so it wasn't like you were just going along describing every single feature and that's what was taking so long.

I really like our OC so far. I did feel a little bit overwhelmed by her in this, and I think that maybe cutting back on her own personal information or the things she talks about with harry may have helped that, but it's not a huge deal either, so I wouldn't worry yourself over it.

The line where she tells Draco that he needs to learn to talk about his feelings and the thoughts that followed that, oh gosh. Those were perfect. He'd never been able to share those things. How could he start now? Poor little guy.

I think the memory of Draco and his bear was very,very moving. I almost wonder though if you're planning on showing how Draco did get better, more fatherly, as time went one.. because the man that was so cruel to his son is a big jump from the one who just begged one of his enemies to protect the same son. But of course, in that kind of terrifying situation Lucius may have just realized that Draco is what's important, not his pride. Still, the teddy bear scene was incredibly moving.

Ahhh I can't imagine that it would ahve been a lovely meeting for the trio and Draco. haha. It's hard to tell who I really feel worse for...

this story continues to be a really entertaining read, m'dear!

&heartsl

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Review #17, by Courtney Dark |Draco's Intro| "This is My Story"

3rd January 2013:
Hey there! This is Courtney, here with your requested review:)
I will start by saying I really like the idea of this story. I have read a few other fanfictions from Draco's point of view, but most of them have been unbearably cheesy and completely out of character. Even in this first chapter, I think you have painted a very accurate picture of Draco, and what his life is like, so well done on that!

I think you started this chapter really well, with the whole "All is fair in love and war." It is short, to the point and an intriguing first sentence. It immediately made me wonder what the rest of the chapter was going to be about and what provoked Draco to say...or think it. I also enjoyed the sentence; 'Well I for one would like to meet the moron who came up with that sentence.' It's great because it adds a touch of humour into what I can tell is going to be quite a dark story, and also seems very Draco-ish. In that respect, I think you have portrayed Draco as a very believable character all throughout this first chapter.

I liked everything you mentioned about Draco's father, especially the paragraph that begins with 'But no matter how well I did or how much I tried' because I feel it accurately shows what Draco's feelings towards Lucius might be-and how his relationship with his father has turned him into the person he is today. You actually made me feel a little sorry for Draco, especially in this part: 'Instead, he liked to point out all of my flaws, and tell me where I did wrong. So I never felt good enough for himÖ never felt loved by him.' The way you worded this was superb-I could definitely tell it was from Draco's point of view!

The paragraph about the concept of love was also very good-and I feel like I'm saying that about every paragraph, but it's true! You have done a very good job with this first chapter. This paragraph, especially the bot about love only existing in fairytales intrigued me, and made me wonder where you are going to take this story next. Will Draco find love? And with whom? The sentence 'It just isn't the Malfoy style' was just perfect. It was so Draco so...right.

Another part I enjoyed (and I'm so sorry if I'm rambling) was the seconf to last paragraph about Harry. I enjoyed this because, again, it added a much needed touch of humour, which I feel fits in well with Draco's character. I've always seen him to be jealous of Harry and this paragraph shows this perfectly, especially the part; 'If you want to read about him then go and find another book. There are plenty out there about him! Potter could open his own personal library if he wanted to, and thatís the problem!' It was a very nice touch.

Overall, there's not much else I can say about this chapter apart from the fact that I really enjoyed it and I can see that it is going to turn into something spectacular. My only nitpicky reminder is that in England it is 'Mum' rather than 'Mom', and 'vacation' is usually 'holiday'. But apart from that this chapter was amazing and absolutely left me wanting more.
Thanks for the read!
Courtney:)

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Review #18, by Secret Santa |Chapter 26| Interrogation

1st January 2013:
Dear Yoshi_Kitten,

Oh, I'm so gutted Draco is upset with Roxi. I mean, I can kinda see why but I really can't wait for this to sort it's self out! You're quite mean you know, you get me all excited with Droxi then take it away!

Again, I love the relationship between Saleena and Draco, when he said she was like a sister to him it was just so sweet! I'm glad he's telling her first it seems like the right thing to do.

You've really thought this whole thing out so well and your writing is great! Well done on another great chapter.

Love from,
Secret Santa x

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Review #19, by Secret Santa |Chapter 25| The Edge of Right and Wrong

1st January 2013:
Dear Yoshi_Kitten,

NO NO NO NO!!! Please say this isn't happening!! Gah your killing me right now! :( I can't believe she's going to join them! I have fingers, arms, toes and everything crossed that something changes her mind!!

Okay, now I've calmed down slightly I will say that this was again written brilliantly. Voldemort was excellent in this chapter and I liked the bit of background we got into why Roxi likes the dark arts so much. I just hope she doesn't go for it!!

Love from,
Secret Santa x

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Review #20, by Secret Santa |Chapter 24 | Who to Blame

1st January 2013:
Dear Yoshi_Kitten,

After reading your warning at the start I was really scared to read this chapter! However I have braved it and OMG, I am tearing up.

This was so heartbreaking! God the pain Lucius felt. I love how you always remind us of just how far he has fell from what he once was. What he say's is right though, no parent should ever have to bury their child. I just hope that he learns the truth before his time is up...

Poor Roxi! Now she thinks this is all her fault because of Percy!! Gahh just when i thought I hated him you go and do this and I find i can actually hate him more. His plan has worked far to perfectly so far I just hope they figure all this out soon!!

Again I love the Snape/Lucius friendship in this. I love that Draco is Snapes godson and that Draco means a lot to him too. It's so refreshing to see Snape in a good light - so well done on that!

God - Voldemort! Again, just when you think he won't surprise you. Making Lucius bury Draco is just cruel, you really have a knack for writing all this evil!

Gah this is such an amazing story! I'm praying that everything turns out okay in the end. I'm hoping that Kireonna has been paying attention and knows something or that the memory spell hasn't worked (Crazy I know but I just want this to work out so badly). I'm also VERY concerned about what voldmort wants with Roxi - i really hope it isn't death-eatership again :(

Love from,
Secret Santa x

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Review #21, by Secret Santa |Chapter 23| A Way Out

1st January 2013:
Dear Yoshi_Kitten,

YAY, Draco has escaped *dances* but you left Roxi!! I can't deny I was a little bit gutted about that! I was also kind of glad I was right about Lucas! I love how things you bring into chapters always have a bigger purpose later on. the whole story you have written is so well thought out!!

Oh poor Lucas! i was so gutted, although I knew the whole plan couldn't have gone worked without some hitch. I was praying he would change his mind and just live happily ever after with the Weasleys but no such luck :(.

Percy. Again. Seriously, please let something happen to him now! He is seriously winding me up! Gah, I have to give it to you though, the Polyjuice idea is AMAZING and I certainly didn't see it coming!! but if Roxi and Lucius think Draco is dead this is not going to end well :(.

Hmm so Draco back with the Weasleys and so is Harry, I like how you have parts of Harry's mission fitting nicely into this. It's just nice to see as this obviously isn't a Harry fic but you haven't just completely forgotton about him. the whole Nagini part was great! What is harry and ron's deal though? They're fighting an awful lot... Should I be worried?

Okay, onto more reading. Fabulous chapter once again!!

Love from,
Secret Santa x

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Review #22, by Secret Santa |Chapter 22| Betrayal

1st January 2013:
Dear, Yoshi_Kitten,

I am so furious at Percy right now!! I can't believe this is happening! I was practically screaming at the screen for Roxi to see right threw him and I practically threw up when she kissed him!! Gah please end this, it's hurting my eyes :( Please? and if you could also do something horribly mean to Percy that would be great too... just saying :)

All personal feelings for Percy aside, you are writing the whole thing beautifully. Percy's devious scheme and the reactions of Draco and Roxi are perfect. I'm just too emotionally attached to Droxi and want to read some more!!

YES!! A plan! This plan just has to work! I want Draco to be free and be happy again! I don't like him being so sad. This mysterious person has to be Lucas right? Lucas is with greyback not voldemort so he's the only person I can think of! I'm just excited and need to read more!

Another amazing chapter... I LOVE this story right now and you are awesome :D!

Love from,
Secret Santa x

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Review #23, by Secret Santa |Chapter 21| The Stranger

1st January 2013:
Dear Yoshi_Kitten,

OMGOMGOMG! Another unbelieveably great chapter! Gosh there is just so much to comment on so I'd better start at the beginning...

OK, this new stanger and Lucas. I had absolutely no clue who this guy was, and when I found out I was really kicking myself! I thought this was an amazing twist! Greyback against Voldemort, oohh I'm looking forward to the prgressin of this, and if he's sending Lucas into the Riddle house there can only be exciting things to come!! I'm excited! I am also worried for Roxi's saftey, if greyback has an interest in her, ew. that can't end well!

Oh gosh, you really keep putting poor Lucius through so much! I would be terrified if that had happened to me! Lucius and Draco are a right pair between then now aren't they?

I've just seen your response's to some of my reviews and I'm so glad you're happy I'm your santa as I've enjoyed it so much! Haha, not long 'til all will be revealed =D, I look forward to chatting to you about this story so much!! I'm sure when SS is over I will still be reading and reviewing your stories...

Love from,
Secret Santa

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Review #24, by Secret Santa |Chapter 20| Devastation and Despair

31st December 2012:
Dear Yoshi_Kitten,

Another fabulous chapter my dear! After all the Percy-meddling in the last chapter you made a fantastic job of displaying the repercussions in this one!

Have I mentioned I hate Percy? I love to hate him but hate none the less, I look forward to reading him get his comeuppance for all the crap he's currently giving out!! You write it fantastically though!

I both loved and hated the conversation between Draco and Roxi. I loved it becuse I thought you wrote it perfectly and everything they said was just great. My favourite bit was when he told her she couldn't take him back t me meet her father and the only thing she picked up on was that he'd thought about meeting her father. that was such a girl-in-love thing and made me smile so much!! On the other hand it did make me grumpy as, as I have previously said, you have made me such a HUGE fan of this ship that I just want them to be together and be happy and not in Voldemorts dungeon and for Draco to be able to walk (seriously I couldn't believe it when I read that bit) and gah just everything.You're really killing me that they haven't had their chance yet. I will try and wait patiently though to enjoy droxi goodness!

I was so happy Lucius tried to help Draco/Roxi instead of it being Percy! I thought he was really sweet been as it's pretty much his fault Draco is having such a hard time dealing with his relationship. I really did love this bit!

Gah - Voldemort. I thought you made an excellent job of him in this chapter. It was really freaky when he asked her to join the death eaters and she didn't out right say no this chapter - I was seriously worried for a minute there. I REALLY hope she doesn't go that way and her and Draco can make it up before it comes to that. Again - have I mentioned I hate Percy been as this is all his fault.

Sorry to point this out again but this chapter has a few spelling mistakes and the like again, I know you said this chapter hadn't been beta-d yet though. There was a whole section though where I think you haven't added Dracos lines in and I was seriously gutted - it was a key and really interesting part t the conversation -

'You are unbelievable, you know that,' she shrieked. 'I mean, do you really not love me?'

Roxi cut him off. 'Then say it!'

'If you really love me, then say it,' she demanded of him.

Anyway, hopefully speaking with your beta should sort those little niggles out.

Well done on another cracking chapter though - I'm seriously hooked on this story - I'm so glad I'm your secret santa!!

Love from,
Secret Santa x

Author's Response: OMGosh, now I really can't wait to find out who this is cuz you are officially my new best friend, lol!! SOO happy that I have converted you to the Droxi ship!! Honestly, I feel like this could be the start to a new and beautiful friendship, haha!! ;)

No need to be sorry hun, it's fine to point things like that out. I will definitely look into that one asap tho because sometimes the HPFF story editor thingamajig cuts lines out like that. I don't know why it does that, but I do know that this isn't the first time it's happened. I usually catch it before now, so I can't believe that this one got missed... Yeah, I am looking over it right now and you're right; there is a HUGE chunk of that conversation missing!! I wonder why it only cut out Draco's lines like that?? That is so weird, I will be looking into that as soon as possible now, and I can even PM you the full conversation once identities are revealed if you'd like... Sorry about that! 0_o'

All the confusion aside tho, I couldn't help but to Lol at this review when I read it this morning. I really love your reactions to Percy especially. People really do hate him, and I think it's great, lol!! What a way to start out the 2013 year, this has seriously just made my day! Thank you so, SO MUCH my dear!! I can't wait to add you as a friend, it I don't know you already. I'm so glad that you were my Santa too, haha!! You are seriously, like, THE BEST Secret Santa ever, haha!! Happy New Years hun!! =D


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Review #25, by Secret Santa |Chapter 14| To Make an Antidote

31st December 2012:
Dear Yoshi_Kitten,

Your so mean leaving it on such a cliff hanger! I'm so glad I have the next chapter waiting for me so I don't have to wait!!

You do need to be a bit more careful, in some places you miss words out and stuff like that. It doesn't detract from your story as such but you've written such a great story that it would make it even better!!

I thought you did an amazing job of describing the potions effects! Poor Lucius! He's gone through so much! I love the friendship you have created between Lucius and Severus, even though Voldmort had forbidden it (I thought was a great idea by the way) they obviously will do anything for each other and is really nice to see through all the darkness you have created!

Oh Percy! I really can't stand him in this! I love characters you can hate and you really have built his character up well! You have kept his canon pompous nature but have turned it so much darker and I love it! Big well done to you on that!!

I really need to move on though as the suspense is killing me! I really hope you let Draco let his guard down soon! I want some Droxi goodness :D

Love from,
Secret Santa x

Author's Response: Hey now, I love my cliffhangers, so you should probly expect more to come, lol! XD

I know I seriously need to go back thru and do a serious clean-out, it's just SOO time consuming tho, you know? I've always said that of I ever get TA status on here that that'll be the 2st thing I do tho... Wishful thinking, I know, but a girl can dream. *sigh* =/

I like that you can appreciate Snape and Lucius' relationship tho. Not too many people comment on that, so I never really know how it is being intercepted. I know there's a bit of an age difference between the two of them, but I still feel like that would bond over their common hatred of Voldemort, you know? You seem to think outside the box and are very good at guessing things tho... I like that about you, lol!! :)

Hahaha, if you hate Percy now, just wait until later! It's good to know that you "love to hate" him, cuz I absolutely love reading people's reactions to him, lol! Every story needs a good Villain, and Percy is definitely mine. I am quite proud of the way his character develops... you'll see. ;)

Again, I cannot tell you how pleased I am to see that you are enjoying this so much!! You are honestly the Best SS that I have ever had!! Happy New Years hun, and thanks so much for all you have done for me!! =D


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