Reading Reviews for Love, Not War
  
476 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Roisin Prolouge: Blessed With a Son

28th September 2014:
Ah! AH!

Having Voldemort around during birth IS THE SCARIEST WORSTEST THING I CAN IMAGINE! That super duper gave me the creeps, so WELL DONE!

The whole Unbreakable Vow thing was so cruel and so brutal, GAH, and branding a baby with the Dark Mark!!!

I'm so interested to see where this goes, since we know Draco isn't aware of what his father did. And really, good job making us empathize with the Malfoys! "Kill the baby" vs "Curse the baby" are pretty heavy questions, I can't possibly say what I'd choose, but I imagine it'd be really hard not to choose the latter.

I really liked the way you repeated the first paragraph at the end, it had a super nice symmetry to it! Nicely done!

xoxo
Roisin

Author's Response: Hey there, welcome back!! I was wondering when I might hear from you again... I'm so glad you enjoyed the concept here. I love making people feel sympathy for the Malfoys, lol. I'm really glad you liked the prologue. And now I'm really excited for you to begin reading the actual sorry now, haha!! Thanks so much for the Review, Roisin. Hope to hear from ya again soon! =)

~Deana~


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Review #2, by crestwood The Spy

27th September 2014:
Hi Deana!

I really should be asleep right now. It's 6 am and I'm supposed to be going to D.C. tomorrow. Or today I suppose. But, I've been distracted all night (morning) and if I don't review this now it'll have to wait through another day entirely.

I found it so realistic that Molly and Arthur's room would be sort of barren in a way. I can't imagine them going to any extreme expenses furnishing their room, when that money could be spent on one of their children. They're both such selfless, family-oriented people and that little detail really accentuated that.

The scene in which Draco is being egged on by McGonagall to offer up a name is really emotional because you can really feel just how much he doesn't want to do it. He would rather be the source of, or possibly the witness of such pain in Molly and Arthur. It's amazing how far he's come, just to be able to see that their feelings are important. Of course, that hasn't exactly stretched to the entire Weasley family, but the rest of them are hardly giving him a break either, so I cannot blame him in the slightest. He's changed a bit, but he's not yet to a place where he'd forgive those who still treat him the way they do.

I cannot deal with Molly realizing who the spy is on her own. It was almost worse than Draco having to spring it on her. I can't imagine how they must feel. We're never given any canon examples of the parents of a Death Eater being those who fight against them. Usually Death Eaters are raised on the pureblood mania and will swear to it up and down, but Percy is a member of the most notorious 'blood traitor' family there is and not only that, but as far as I've thought it out, he is not a subscriber to their way of thinking. I doubt he really feels that Muggleborns are beneath him, but he does has an insatiable hunger for power and he truly believes that following Voldemort will give him just that. He is willing to betray his family and everything he was raised for if he believes that it'll make him more powerful in the ministry. Voldemort is despicable, but there's an argument for Percy being the more interesting villain here.

I was not only correct in believing that Percy was the spy, but I actually figured out that he must have been manipulating Arthur for information. After all, it was established that the Death Eaters were always a step ahead and I believed Percy to be the spy. That only really leaves Arthur, as no one else in his family would regularly be at the Ministry in order to speak to him. It's horrible that he would use his father's trust in him like that. And here I was thinking that the night Molly almost got arrested was the worst he could get.

I haven't read the last part of this chapter before now, but I must say, I am almost glad to have things settle down a bit toward the end. It was interesting seeing McGonagall get exasperated with everyone doubting her at the end. I like this new lineup of The Order. Luna and Neville are two people that I wish could have participated more in canon, so I do love to see them having a say in this version of events.

As always, this chapter was absolutely amazing!

Author's Response: hey, Joey!! As always, you spoil me with your reviews, lol! D.C. sounds like SO much fun tho. I've never been, unfortunately. Hope you had a good trip. :)

I'm so glad you liked my description of Molly & Arthur's room. We were never really given a glimpse into this space in Cannon, so it was a lot of fun to imagine it. And I appreciate everything you had to say about Draco and his attitude of care only extending to a few members of the Weasley family. Your assumptions about Percy and his attitude towards everything are spot-on also. Gosh, you're so insightful Joey, lo! =P

I can't believe you got it right, haha! Honestly, I did insert alot more clues as to who the spy was when I rewrote this tho. There weren't nearly as many hints beforehand, lol. Just remember what you said about Percy being the more interesting villian in events to come. Because he certainy does have a much larger role to play in the upcoming chapters. He certainly does get a LOT worse than even this. I am just getting started with this evil Percy, haha!! ;)

Things are settled down for now, by the end of this chapter... But how long can that last? Just wait til you see the end of next chapter, lol!! *evilgrin* Thanks so much for such an incredible review, Joey. you are awesome, man!! I seriously appreciate all of your help and dedication that you have given to this story. =D


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Review #3, by Gabriella Hunter The Spy

26th September 2014:
HellO!

This is Gabbie form the forums dropping by with your review and you know what's going to happen now! Be afraid! Hahahahaha.

I knew it. I just knew it! You were after my heart with this one, weren't you? I had my suspicions that Percy was going to be the one who turned out to be the spy from what happened in previous chapters but man, the emotional punch in this chapter was just painful. What I liked the most about this chapter was that Draco's attitude towards the Weasley's has really shifted, he was able to respect them. I liked that he was able to see how much dedication they put into raising their family and how much they really cared about their well-being but it also added this sense of sadness to the scene, since we were about to see the family being torn apart. Draco's concern for them was very touching and I felt badly for him too, he was being put into a very uncomfortable position and it took a lot of courage for him to finally speak up about the truth.

Molly's reaction of course was gut wrenching and while I expected her to faint, I was glad that she was able to stay standing. It was far more effective and I think that it was more powerful, her tears were enough to have me nearly stop reading this chapter though. Arthur's denial of the situation at first was very realistic, what parent wants to believe that of their own child? He slowly began to accept it but I think that they're going to be in that state for a long time to come, I feel like that wound is never going to close.

But Percy is a Death Eater as well? That just...it's too much for me. I wanted to scream and then cry and then scream some more! I can't believe him! What I liked though was that you had the family talking about that little darkness in his heart and how his ambition carried him over to do the unthinkable. It fit in well with his character here and it was a gutsy move. I know that a lot of people wouldn't have thought it all that shocking, considering that it's Percy but I think that you really took a risk here. It's great to read and I think that you've set up the remainder of the story very well. We've got a war coming and a family on opposite sides, that's just going to be a delicious read for me. :D

Charlie and the others got a bit more personality in this chapter too. Sibling hierarchy is really a thing, the twins have a respect for Charlie and Bill that we wouldn't have ordinarily have seen. I also liked that you gave each twin their own character traits as well, Fred is obviously more hot tempered than George but seems to follow his brother's lead every now and then. It's an interesting look into their relationship, I was able to feel all the anger between them and the heartbreak as well. :(

I'm really curious to know how you'll go forward with the story now. Obviously the Order is shook up by this news and McGonagall is being questioned as a leader but I'm glad that their loyalty towards one another stayed true. I can't wait to see what happens next and this angry Neville of yours is really capturing my attention, I hope he doesn't go off the deep end.

All in all though this was a great chapter, it had all the wonderful things that I needed with just enough foreshadowing to keep me guessing. I noticed a few little grammar things like "of coarse" should be "of course" but you can easily clean that up. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #4, by pointless_proclamations The Spy

23rd September 2014:
DEANA!

I have missed this story and have been so on edge just waiting. Finally, it's here, another roller coaster of emotions!

Draco's character development is figuratively mind-blowing. I love the it wasn't just a sudden thing, but rather a series of organised, albeit unpredictable events. You've allowed him time to grow as a character and it just made so much sense! More than that, I love it. I love how he has grown sensitive to Molly and Arthur's feelings. He's changing and he doesn't want to hurt them. Of course these sentiments are not extended to just anyone, the fact he only truly cares about a mere handful of people as of yet makes complete sense to me. It only adds to his feelings towards Molly and Arthur.

It seems as though Percy and Draco switched places.

"What other kind of Death Eater is there?" I know this is a serious scene. I really do. It's just that you come up with the most hilarious of lines and I can't help myself from laughing. I'm torn between giggles and frowns. How your writing conflicts me, Deana!

Could they now turn the figurative tables on Percy now that they know what he's up to? Are they going to feed him false information? There must be retribution!

McGonagall's piece is brilliant. Way I bring about some team cohesion back to the Order. What she said about Draco. . . Deana it made my heart figuratively swell with pride for him. I'm so happy that he got some acknowledgement.

So now I'm worried about Saleena and her mission. What will happen? What happens after 'Born a Leader?' How has her abilities developed? And she'll have to be separated from her brother, Draco? :( I cannot wait to read on, Deana!

As for your note: I was majorly shocked. [hugs] Thank you Deana! And the pleasure was all mine. I'm so addicted to your story (hence the nomination). I think about it constantly. Your writing is supreme and so are you. :)

Your fan, anxious in anticipation of another chapter,
Em :D

Author's Response: EMILIE!!! Gosh, I miss you girl!! RL has been hellabusy these past few weeks, lol. But look; you got here first this time, yay!! =P

I'm so glad to see that you picked up on the subtle changes that have been made to Draco's character. It really kind of is like he and Percy have switched places. funny thing is that I have never thought of it like that before, lol! So that is a very good point... It's a shame that they won't have the time to feed him false information tho, as that is a very good idea. you'll see what I mean by this in 2 chapters from now, lol! ;)

I'm glad you like my McGonagall in this, and it's good to see that you appreciate my humor, lol. Thanks, Em! I guess you'll just have to wait and see how Saleena's powers develop tho. You will get to see her one last time next chapter tho, so it's not a goodbye quite yet. (:

Thanks again so much for all of your support and dedication to this story. I appreciate you so much!! Your reviews are always awesome, and they constantly brighten my day!! Next chapter is up now too btw, so I hope to hear from you again soon!! :D


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Review #5, by Gabriella Hunter False Accusations

23rd September 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and it's so good to be back! I was wondering what was going to happen next in this story and you certainly didn't disappoint me.

I was really concerned about Saleena and what her new decisions would mean, I can tell that even though she didn't really feature as strongly in this chapter that they were weighing heavily on her mind. The beginning though was an interesting contrast to the later half of this chapter and I was really intrigued by Draco's recovery, he's fragile in so many ways. The first step he takes is also the first step to healing emotionally and I wonder how he'll be able to cope later on. It's obvious that he's still conflicted and it was really bold of McGonagall to offer him a chance in the Order. I wonder how much she really trusts him?

I think that the actual Order meeting was written really well. You introduced new characters smoothly and while Roxie comes off to me as far more interesting than some of the others, due to the fact that she's so original, I wasn't at all confused by who was where. Draco's observations were very honest and he's starting to realize that he's not nearly as cruel as he once was.

There was a lot of old anger though and I liked how you weaved that in. Fred and George were spot on, I think and while a lot of people wouldn't have liked this side to them, I think it fits. They were never kind to Draco before and it's not going to automatically change now.

Neville's development came as a surprise (Shame on Seamus!) and I'm curious by this side of his character but also excited to see him with Luna. I think that she was written well as well and they meshed very nicely with the scene, I would have liked to have heard Bill and Charlie give their thoughts a bit on what was going on but I'm sure you'll have time for that later.

As for this spy...you're breaking my heart. Hahaha. I am so angry and intrigued and overwhelmed by the plot twist! I can't wait for more so don't hesitate to stop by again! :D

Thanks so much for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!! That was fast, lol!! =P
Draco's recovery scene was a new addition to this chapter when I did the rewrite, so I'm glad to see that you liked that part so well. I have been working a LOT on getting the timing and pacing of everything just right, because it was kind of all over the place before this, lol!

The Neville thing was a new change too, and I admit that I just kind of came up with the backstory on Seamus at the last minute, lol. I realized that I needed to explain why Neville was so angry and mistrusting, and so that was it. I'm really pleased to see that that was one of the first things you picked up on tho, and that it seems to have been taken well. And yes, I totally ship Neville/Luna, lol!! I was SO upset when Joe did not make this a Cannon pairing! :(

Bill, Charlie, Fred & George will definitely be seen more in the next chapter, as this news of the spy will affect all of them directly. I am curious if you have any guesses as to who it is before he/she is revealed though. You'll have to let me know if you had it figured out beforehand or not in your next review, I suppose! ;)

See ya in the next chapter... Gah!! I can't wait, haha!! :D
~Deana~


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Review #6, by Roisin Draco's Introduction

22nd September 2014:
Hello!
Ok, so I'm FINALLY here for our exchange! I wish I had more time to leave the super meaty review I want to leave, but I also wanted to get to this at last, so hopefully future reviews will make up for it!

First off, I loved this line "how stupid it is to think that anything could be fair in a war, especially love."

And there was something really interesting about the first person decision here. The self-aware "this is a book" thing was really clever, and the whole thing about there being libraries about Harry Potter--because HAHA, this is IT!

I sort of read this chapter like the introduction to a book, and like maybe the rest is kind of a biography of Draco. That, all in all, is a really interesting idea!

The idea that Lucius might be a cold hearted monster behind closed doors was super sad, but not unfounded. I remember in CoS that Harry overhears Lucius criticizing Draco for not beating Hermione in classes. It also casts the whole "Lucius bribing Draco into the Quidditch team" thing in a rather darker light--and suggests that that and other experiences might actually have been disheartening for Draco.

I'm really excited to see all this stuff play out over the course of the story!

Yay! Good luck with the Dobbys, and congrats on all your nominations!

xoxo
-Roisin

Author's Response: GAH!! I'm just SO happy you're here, lol!! Honestly, I was not expecting to get a review on this Intro, so this was such a nice surprise. I actually TRIED to delete this part when I rewrote everything, but for some reason the Story Manager will not allow me to move the 1st chapter up or down at all, so I ended up just leaving it. I'm glad to see that you liked it tho, and that you enjoy the concept behind the book idea. Kinda makes me feel like maybe the decision to leave this Intro in here was not such a bad idea after all, haha!! ;)

I too am super excited to get your feedback on the rest of the story as well!! Tho, I'll admit that I also a tad nervous too, lol! I know your a Cannon buff, and this story is slightly AU, but hopefully you will still enjoy it, nonetheless. ^_^'

I should probly note that there is a one-shot Prequel to this story that you MIGHT wanna check out BEFORE you read the 1st actual chapter; which is entitled: The Letter. The one-shot is called "Doing the Right Thing" if you're interested. It's not necessary to read it first, but it will give you some insight into what's going on come chapter 7, lol. =P

Thanks so much for this great review hun. & Never mind the length, lol, you're fine!! I cannot wait to see what you think of the rest!! :D

~Deana~


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Review #7, by slytherinchica08 Draco's Introduction

19th September 2014:
OH what a very interesting beginning. I really liked how you set up your story with this chapter. It gives us a small idea of what is going to happen ( we are going to be explained draco's side of things, how he helped Harry and about this new girl who is going to change things for him). The last few paragraphs really stood out to me. I really like the idea that Draco is going to have his story written to try and have people better understand him and what went on during his life. So I must ask, is this whole story then going to be about his story being written or I wonder how this is all going to play out. Its a very interesting concept and its one that has piqued my interest very much.

I thought this beginning was very well done. It does a great job of setting things up and allowing us to get to know the Draco that you have painted for this story. I think that he still seems very much in character here, he still seems very much about himself and wanting to improve his image and prove people wrong. I can sense some change in his character though, but not anything that seems out of character or anything, just something that comes from being in a war and experiencing things that many people never do.

I liked the look into his family life that this chapter gave as well. And probably my favorite part was the mention of how Draco thought that everyone else was wrong when it came to Voldemort. You know, it was a thought that until you mentioned it, it never crossed my mind. But now that its there I'm wondering how I never thought of that before. I mean to me it does make sense, he was raised to believe in Voldemorts cause so why wouldn't he believe that Voldemort is more the good guy and everyone else is evil, at least when he is a young enough age to just take his fathers words for everything.

Anyways, this was a great beginning and I very much look forward to reading more of this story! Thank you again for agreeing to do a review swap! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #8, by Gabriella Hunter A Drop of Veritaserum

17th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review and I am a day or two late I think but I've been really busy and hadn't had the time to buckle down and get to these stories. Its been a real pain, you know.

Anyway, we're back with this! I was really intrigued and amazed by the amount of detail and history you created with the Gypsies. I thought it was really brilliant to come up with something that original and work it into a fanfic, I've never seen anything like this done before and it was a really interesting part of this chapter. It feels like a true history lesson and past, I thought that you wrote that very well.

The clan feels ancient and powerful, their own myths and beliefs truly fascinating. I like the explanation we got on Saleena's gifts and what they might mean for the future of her family as well, I could practically feel the tension in the room. Also, this is a little thing but I liked that while Hermione was reading, Ron and Harry kept interrupting her--it made the scene feel very realistc and added just a touch of humor.

To finally know more about Saleena's background was a relief and I can understand the complex relationship she has with her clan and mother. The thought of becoming queen, however, is too much for her at the moment when she enjoys the life she has right now and I'm wondering what will happen in the end of this story. It was obvious that she would rather not sacrifice it all to go back to her clan but on the other hand, it would be a good idea to stop them from being crushed by Voldemort. I wonder if she'll make it in time to see her grandmother again and what their meeting will be like once they do.

Hm...

Okay, the actual Veritaserum part of the chapter was really well-done. I've never written a story that included that particular potion. I think that you wrote it excellently, its a complicated thing to do but it felt so effortless reading it and McGongalla's questions made sense to me. They were difficult but fair and I like that you had Saleena wavering slightly on a few and resisting the potion. The dedication that she wants to have with the Order might actually be threatened by her loyalty to her family and I'm really curious to see what happens next.

I didn't spot any crazy CC's or anything but I think that you have a great pace going and your characters are staying true to themselves. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Gabbie, I swear; your reviews just keep getting better & better every time, lol!! You should stop saying that you're late all the time tho, lol. I keep telling you that I'm just happy you've stopped by at all. The timing seriously means nothing to me, as long as you R&R whenever you can. I understand completely about RL being a pain and getting in the way of things, haha! =P

I'm so glad to see that you like the concept of my Gypsies here. The clan really is "ancient and powerful" so it's good to see that that is coming across well. I have pages and pages of notes on Saleena, her family, and her people, but not everything has made it's way into the bulk of the story yet, as this primarily focuses on Draco. I'm also really glad that I rewrote all of this and took more time to reveal more about Saleena and the Gypsies too. Before, it was all crammed into chapter 2, and the chapter was over 10,000+ words long, lol! But I took a lot of the backstory out there, and chose to reveal it here instead. So it's good to see that this has gotten such a positive response so far. (:

I actually wrote a one-shot from Saleena's POV that describes what happens when she goes back to the clan and see's her grandmother again for the first time. I was planning to post it in your review thread once you were at that point, but if you don't wanna wait that long then it is on my author page. The story is called "Born A Leader" and it is the 5th story down from the top. After reading this review, I am really looking forward to hearing your thoughts on that one now too!! =)

I'm glad you liked the touch of humor I added in while Hermione was reading too. I didn't wanna bore people to death with all that information, so I had to come up with something to break it up, lol! Plus it was a lot of fun to write that scene as well. I love the trio!! I struggled with the Veritaserum interview at first. It just wasn't long enough and I didn't really have very many question ideas. But then I posted a Help Topic on the Forums and some people gave me some really good ideas!! So I can't quite take ALL the credit for what that section of the chapter is now, lol! I did work very hard on it tho, so I am SO GLAD to see that you enjoyed it so much!! :D

Thanks again so much for ALL of your input, Gabbie!! I'm sorry I haven't been back to request the next chapter yet. It's just that I don't really like to do that until I have responded to the previous review first. And now that I have replied to this, I will head over to your review thread right away to post the next chapter!! Thanks so much!!

~Deana~


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Review #9, by pointless_proclamations False Accusations

16th September 2014:
Deana,

You started out with my favourite character dynamic in your story: Saleena and Draco. My cardiac muscles are mush now, thank you. And I can't seem to do anything, but a shedload of 'aww'ing in their scenes. It's so endearing that Draco wants to make Saleena proud and she doesn't want to leave him and DEANA!

Molly really is warming up to Draco. I love it. It just goes to show how motherly she is. I feel as if she's slowly substituting Draco for her children because they're all gone.

Draco's opinions about the Ministry and the way he vocalised his thoughts is amazing on so many levels. Firstly, it reminds me that he's still Draco, he still has an attitude. Secondly, it amplifies the difference between his relationship with filial relationship with Salenna in comparison to everyone else. Thirdly, it's just hilarious.

You have me sighing at their silent, seemingly telepathic, conversation.

A grin is sprouting on my face as McGonagall offers Draco to join the order saying, "you really do want to do the right thing here" because it just reminds me of your brilliant one-shot.

Draco is a very complex character. I understand that there are so many layers to him. Quite like an onion parfait because both have been used to talk about layers and Draco's character would leave a strange taste on the palate I imagine. You write him so perfectly, though. I understand because your writing is just that great.

The fact that he doesn't want to hurt Molly and Arthur's feelings only adds to my theory about potential family-orientated relationships. My cardiac muscles may as well be mush. He cares!

You made Neville yet another complex character. I can't be annoyed at him for saying such things because war just sucks is all I can say. Betrayal is a horrible thing to go through. Poor Neville. And Draco's thoughts about Luna and Neville drops almost all pretense of niceness he had from the previous scenes.

And now, Roxi is checking out Draco. It begins. :P Oh, she likes his eyes. . .

"Lost and in need of a friend" or a love life, but we can take things slow.

Oh she fancies him now?! DEANA! So not friends [eyebrows waggle].

And now he's returning the favour. . .

"Incredibly annoying." Hah! I just knew Draco wasn't going warm up to Roxi that quickly. You are not going to make one very easy, are you? But then he gapes where he should have glared.

After what the group said and thought about, it must be downright humbling to have Draco be the mature one, doesn't it? I giggle at their shame. I appreciate their not completely trusting McGonagall to once again amplify the severity of the situation. People have been so greatly affected by this war, you show that so clearly.

Ever reeling in from your series of emotional roller coasters,
Em :)

Author's Response: It makes me so happy to see that Draco & Saleena are your favorite chaBahahaha!! dynamic.Since you enjoy their scenes so much, I cannot wait til y6ou see what I have in store for their last conversation before she leaves, lol. I'm sad she's leaving too tho, lol. But it's okay tho, cuz Roxi will be around to talk him thru his problems after this, haha! ;)

I love Draco's sense of humor when it comes to the Ministry too, lol. Bahaha!! Your parfait/layers referance was hysterical!! I owe much of Neville's role in this to you tho, Em. Thank you for asking me beforehand why he was so angry, cuz I hadn't given it a second thought prior to that before, lol. You were very helpful when I was working on this chapter!! :)

OMG, your comments about Roxi/Draco just made my NIGHT, haha!! You are so funny, Em. Of course they're going to take things slow. This IS Draco Malfoy we're dealing with, after all. And he has trust issues, haha!! ;)

Im so glad you like this chapter tho. Thanks so much for ALL your compliments, Em. I continue to admire your dedication and admiration of this story. You are so wonderful, girl. *hugs* Thanks again for the review. Sorry for the long wait for replies... See ya in the next chapter!! =D


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Review #10, by crestwood False Accusations

16th September 2014:
Deana!! I finally get to tell you in full what I think about this chapter!

So, for reasons unknown, slow recoveries from injuries are just endlessly interesting for me to read about. I really enjoyed the beginning of the chapter, with Saleena rushing Draco to walk so that she could leave and not feel guilty about not being there to nurse him fully to health.

McGonagall and Draco's conversation was really great. I liked the idea that there are three sides; The Ministry, The Order and Voldemort. It does always feel as though the Order and the Ministry are not on the exact same side of the war. Like I said before, I think that McGonagall is expertly manipulating Draco to slowly prepare to reveal the information that he told Scrimgeour. Also, I loved that McGonagall said that she would to believe that Draco wants to Do The Right Thing because title drops are awesome!

I can understand why Draco would be reluctant to just come and sit this kind of meeting. Every single Order member is there and he is no friend to, well, any of them really. Roxi's first impression of Draco was a sad looking pale blonde boy who looked slightly removed and that is basically him in a nutshell. I love her musings about eyes being the window to the soul. When they lock eyes and she doesn't turn away, I just can't describe how hilarious and perfect that scene is. What a wonderful way to meet someone.

"An expert on Gypsys and their culture" is such a good cover up for what Saleena is supposed to be for the Order. I certainly understand why Neville is so weary of Roxi, seeing as there is already a spy that they know of. Also, I was Neville/Luna shippy vibes that I'm not sure are based in fact or not. The younger members of the order all seem very distrustful of McGonagall's leadership, except for Luna of course. For some reason, I can't imagine Dumbledore being questioned like this. Maybe his death hurt their unwavering trust in the wisdom of Order leaders.

Luckily Draco was able to shut everyone up and speak his piece. I am glad that he's finally going to break the news to McGonagall and the Weasley's. It's going to be upsetting to read them getting that kind of news, but worth it, if only to see how you handle their reactions to receiving that kind of news. It's one thing for him to betray you to the Ministry, but to betray you to Voldemort is certainly a step further..

Anyway, I can't wait to read about the conversation that happens after this cliffhanger. I'm sure you've written it flawlessly. Your writing is foolproof, really. Amazing as always. Thank you for the swap!

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Review #11, by Gabriella Hunter Trustworthy

12th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie with your review, sorry that I'm so late but I've been really busy and that's such a drag. Hahhahaha.

Its good to be back, I was really curious on what was going to happen next after that explosive chapter and you didn't disappoint me. I'm worried about Draco though, he has information that he's not willing to give and while I can understand that he might be a bit afraid, it can prove to be a deadly mistake down the line. Saleena of course has her own secrets and by the end of this chapter I was wondering what was going to happen for her to finally crack. I know that there's a lot going on right now with her family but she could save a lot of lives if she gave up just a bit of what she knows. You mentioned that you were worried about characterization but I think that you wrote Saleena very well here. She was still headstrong and still determined but there was a bit of vulnerability there that I thought was a nice touch. It made her feel more real to me and I'm curious to see if you'll explore that side of her more. I also enjoyed your introduction of Tonks and Remus, I think that you did a very good job with them--they're two characters that I've never written before but they seem very in character here. This mysterious girl from America sounds interesting so I'm hoping that I'll hear about that a bit more, there's something fishy about it!

So, Voldemort is looking for the Gypsies? That is not good news. I was really horrified to read that! I wonder though, how he learned about them and what his real motives are. I hope you go into more detail there because I was a bit confused me that he would suddenly be interested in a throne that not too many people know about. I'm sure you'll explain that in another chapter!

As usual, your characters are excellent and your pacing, flow and take on familiar faces was very spot on.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: OMGosh, IDK how I missed this one!! So sorry, Gabbie. I really thought that I had already replied to this a while ago now...

Not to worry about Draco's withholding information, lol. This shall all be revealed soon, as I'm sure you know now, lol! Everything about Saleena will all be made known soon as well. I mean, secrets this big cannot possibly stay hidden forever, can they? ;)

Sorry fir the confusion about Voldemort and the Gypsies. He's really only interested in them because he wants to be in control of everything, lol. But there is a ton more information to be revealed about the Gypsies and their history in the next chapter. Sorry fir making you wait so long to find out about this stuff, but I couldn't reveal ALL my secrets right at the beginning, haha! =P

Thanks so much for the comments on my characterization and pacing/flow. I have been working very hard to get that last thing right especially!! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your reviews, Gabbie!! You are Awesome!! Thank you SO MUCH!!! =D


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Review #12, by pointless_proclamations A Drop of Veritaserum

11th September 2014:
Dear Deana,

Never have I been more motivated to follow through with a story more than I have with yours right now. This is the result of your genius plot, your empathisable characters amongst the ones you know I love to hate ([cough] Percy [cough]), and the lovely way you write.

It is very nice to see Ron in a better mood. Although I think that has to do with his infatuation for Hermione, if I am not mistaken. It still very nice nonetheless. That scene proved that he is not, in fact, all bad. I really can't hate him now.

I still love the Gypsy concept. Even more so now. Zirconium? Hmm. What will you be doing with that idea, Deana? You've got me thinking. I am doubting the presence of a nuclear reactor in this story, so what have you thought up in that brilliant mind of yours that happens to contain Zirconium? Jewelry? A television screen? Surgical tools? I cannot wait to read on and find out! You have me rather frightened because it's not a very rare element, is it? Why couldn't it have been Astatine (I understand why, but Deana, Saleena is such a great character and I don't want to see anything bad happen to her, but it will and I know it, but. . . Do you see what you're doing to me with your characters?!)?

That whole interview is so well written! I followed every single word because that's what your writing does to me! That's how awesome you are. I've never seen an interview that can be emotionally likened to a roller coaster before this chapter.

You worried me, for a second, I was so sure that Minerva was going to kick her out. And what she said about Gypsies and Malfoys really supports Draco and Salenna's familial relationship. Again, I love the way you reinforce that brother-sister bond between them. I imagine they relate to each other on so many levels and I've told you this before, but I must tell you again how much I love what's going on between the two. I am a big sucker for family bonds like that, lack of blood relation notwithstanding. It's just beautiful! [incomprehensible 'GAHH's]

If there is a better way to write this chapter, I wouldn't know how. Deana, this one is perfect. You keep pushing the boundary on my definition of perfect. It blows my mind.

Your fan and still very enthusiastic reviewer,
Em :D

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Review #13, by crestwood A Drop of Veritaserum

8th September 2014:
I am so happy to get all of this new information about your Gypsys in this chapter! The history that you've built with the Gypsy wars is mindblowing. We already knew from Saleena's conversation with her mother that Gypsys disliked males, but this is the first we hear of their disagreement with Statute of Secrecy. You even incorporated the witch-hunts! And the zirconium weakness seems as though it may come back later in the story. And it seems I was also correct in my assumption that Gypsys age differently than Wizards!

For some reason, I loved what the locket did to Hermione in this chapter. I wonder what the Weasley's are going to do once they find out that Percy is the Death Eater spy. I assume that it can only be a matter of time before the Order finds out now that Scrimgeour knows.

McGonagall's interview with Saleena was so amazingly well written! It didn't drag on. It lasted just long enough so that she could make sure that she was on their side and no longer. I'm glad she's going to be accepted into the Order.

I wasn't expecting anyone to find out that Saleena is a Gypsy so soon in the story! I'm kind of glad that she refused to go back and lead them because that would totally blow her cover as a non-Gypsy and also because I'm not sure what would stop the pro-Voldemort Gypsys from kidnapping her and bringer her to him. At the same time, I'm extremely excited to see her go and learn to perfect her gift with her mother and even meet some and covert some other Gypsys to the Order's cause. I have really been wanting to see what they're like and how far Saleena's gift can be stretched. I'm so happy McGonagall understands how badly they need her in the Order and didn't stop trusting her or kick her out of the order for refusing to become the leader of the Gypsys. Their agreement seems like a reasonable compromise and hopefully it'll work out for everyone.

We didn't get a huge cast of characters in this chapter, as it was fairly centered upon only a few events, but I for one think that it can be a good thing to take an entire chapter to cover important events like this interview and not write past it and clutter the chapter with too much new information and too much happening. I think you're giving us information at a really spot-on speed and I am enjoying being here to read it as it happens. Excellent work Deana, really excellent work. I can't wait for the next chapter! This story is just impossibly good!

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Review #14, by crestwood Trustworthy

8th September 2014:
Okay, so I have already read this and I have just re-read just to refresh my memory in order to leave a detailed enough review and it honestly effected me just as much as the first time. I will tell you that you always surprise me. Every. single. time. I don't know how that is possible. You'd think a fellow would get used to this flawless prose, having read so much of it.

Saleena is here at the beginning being just about as all around wonderful as usual. She's really so intelligent and caring, it's impossible not to like her. I'm glad that Draco didn't tell her about Percy yet though. He's right, it wouldn't be right to tell her before telling the Weasleys.
Of course Saleena is considering joining the Order. It only makes sense with her bravery and good heart to fight for good, especially in a war that she is already irreversibly in the middle of, not only because of her work with the Malfoys, but because of what we find out at the end of this chapter. But, that can be saved for later in the review, I believe.

I'm so glad Remus and Tonks have now shown up in this story! And even more excited that Roxi is going to make her grand entrance soon as well!
I almost forgot that Remus and Saleena would know each other! Does she look so young because Gypsys have some kind of magic that causes them to age slower? It's so great that she and Tonks seem to get along in their short conversation! McGonagall and Molly's hug made me so happy because I did always picture them as people that could be friends, if they weren't already.

I really enjoy seeing McGonagall as the leader of the Order. She commands such respect, that woman.

It's so sad seeing Saleena mention Sirius now.. I can't really stomach it.

Moody always seems to die protecting someone, even in AU stories. I suppose that's just in his nature.

The fact that Voldemort is searching for Gypsys was HUGE news! It officially means that Saleena isn't just implicated in the war from a distance any longer. She is hopelessly entangled just the same as any of the Order members. She's right to be afraid. It's actually a very good thing that she is (almost) an order member now, because she's going to need some help avoiding Voldemort now that he's made it his mission to find her.

This chapter was just as exhilarating as the rest of this story! You find a way to enthrall me even in chapters that mostly consist of exposition and conversation. Everything in this story unravels at the perfect pace and everything is connected. I'm so glad there's another chapter waiting for me, honestly. I don't know what I'd do if there wasn't. Again, this was such a great job!

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Review #15, by Gabriella Hunter Under Arrest

6th September 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you and I'm back a bit early this time around so that's cause for a celebration! Whoo!

I was really anxious about what was going to happen with the gang from the last chapter and my goodness, what a rollercoaster! My heart was pounding and I seriously thought that this was going to be the end of something that I am falling in love with. Luckily, things didn't go the way that I thought, which was a great surprise and awesome writing on your part! The beginning of this chapter with Molly and Hermione was such a peaceful way to start the chapter and actually a bit ironic considering all the turmoil and anger the boys were going through upstairs, including what happened shortly afterward. I never expected what the Minister would have done at the end of this but it was a rough ride for me, I'm telling you. I think that you wrote the Minister really well (I shall not even attempt to spell his name right now) though! He's unforgiving, thoughtful and fierce and it really showed that he was an Auror in the past, though he was so unwilling to bend that it made me really scared for the group. Oh, and would it be all right if I punched Percy? Ugh, he made me so angry! I can't believe him! I do like that you kept his character so close to canon though and I honestly don't think that he would give up his position in the Ministry for his own parents and there is the tragedy. But really?! He let Molly get arrested and used an Unforgivable curse on his own father? Okay, I might have to stop being in love with him at this point. Hahahah. I wonder how you're going to have them reconcile later or if you even will--I wouldn't blame you, I feel so badly for Arthur and Molly.

Molly of course was brave and a surprise here, I never thought that she would have given up Draco but I figured that she had another plan. It was frightening of course and I was really worried but I think that you wrote that beautifully and of course, the scene with Draco and the Minister himself was just...fantastic. I have no other way of explaining it. I'm in awe of what you did with these two characters and the deal that they made of course had my jaw dropping! Draco certainly wasn't expecting that and his life is quickly turning into something that he can't control, which I find so delicious, he's going to have to change in order to become someone new. Ah, I love it.

Anyhoo, Saleena of course was a welcome surprise and she can really talk some sense into people, can't she? I'm glad that she managed to get there in time and I hope we learn a bit more about what was going on in her mind during all of this, I was so blown away by the others that I didn't give her the justice she deserved!

I only spotted a few grammar things in the beginning but otherwise, great work! I hope to see you again! Since I am a Percy enthusiast, I was wondering if you'd like to try out his story on my author's page? Its called "This is Audrey Tang: The Bad Taste" and it won't be what you expect. ;)

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hello again Gabbie!! You saying that you are falling in love with this story just made my day. Seriously, nothing makes me more happy than to see that all the work I have put into rewriting this story over the summer is finally paying off. I mean, I knew that the plot and the ideas and everything in the original version were all good, it was just a bit poorly executed because my writing was, well, not on par back in 2009 with what it is now in 2014, lol. I was working on chapter 37 for this back in June, and then I decided to go back and reread over the first 10-15 chapters. I was so shocked to see first-hand just how much my writing has actually changed over the past 6 years!! And I knew right then that if I redid the beginning of this, to get it to match the quality of the ending chapters, then this story could probly be something really special once more. So I made it my goal to bring this back from the dead, so-to-speak, and I just LOVE how much people are enjoying it. Seeing reviews like this make me so proud that I decided to return to HPFF (after my 1.5 year hiatus) and make a comeback with this Novel, haha!

I'm glad you liked my take on Scrimgeour. (And I can never spell his name right either. I had to add it into the auto-correct on my computer to make sure that I always got it right, lol!) And thanks for commenting on the scene between Molly & Hermione. I'm glad somebody picked up on that, lol. Besides, I couldn't just cut Hermione out altogether. So this was the best way I could think of to show what she is doing with her time at the Burrow. Sorry I made you so nervous, but it was necessary, lol. See, in the original version of the story, I skipped over this part entirely because Scrimgeour's character was rather intimidating to write, and I just couldn't really get this scene to work for me. But when I rewrote everything, I made it a point to MAKE it work and this (as well as the one-shot the precedes this) was the end result. I am quite satisfied with the way that everything has turned out, so I'm glad that others seem to be happy with it too. I was ecstatic when I saw that you thought the scene between Draco & Scrimgeour was so FANTASTIC!

I was really nervous to see how you would react to Percy's role in this one, lol. And honestly, if you keep reading, I am anxious to hear your thoughts on him in the future chapters as well. I won't go into much detail, cuz I don't wanna ruin the surprise if you haven't guessed it yet, but I can tell you now that there will be no reconciliation between them at any time in the near future. Percy has chosen his path, and the road he is going down is leading him farther and farther away from his family, I'm afraid. Hopefully you will continue to read and see what surprises I have in store for Percy Weasley's character and the rest of his family. It's gonna be a pretty bumpy ride, lol! ;)

I'm glad Molly's actions were received so well. She really was caught between a rock and a hard place there, and when the Minister asked them if they had anything they would like to confess; she spoke up and did what it took to protect her family. At that point, it wasn't even about Draco – it was about her husband and his job. And then she reached out to Saleena in a desperate attempt to get them out of the situation. Molly may have acted brave, but she was terrified on the inside... Im glad you like Saleena's character so much too. You will be seeing more of her, and learning about her history and mysterious past here within the next two chapters. So please stay tuned!!

Thanks so much for this wonderful review, Gabbie. You have just made my day!! And of course I will check out your story for you!! It's the least I can do after you have been so awesome! I gotta work the next few days tho, so it may take me a few to get to it. But I would be happy to give it a read & review just for you! Thanks again for everything, Gabbie!! I will be back to re-request shortly!

~Deana~


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Review #16, by Gabriella Hunter Same Side Now

5th September 2014:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dumping this review on you and can you believe that I was really sick these past two days? I was so under the weather that I could barely even roll over and that, my friend, was a nasty bit of grossness that we shall not discuss. Hahahah.

Anyhoo, on to this! I think that you covered a lot of ground in this chapter and I'm not sure at all how you managed to get through it all without combusting on the spot. Draco really showed a lot of himself in this chapter though, this vulnerable and weak side of him is far more interesting to me than the one that is usually portrayed and you did an excellent job. I thought that his conversation with Harry was very intense and I really love that you showed both of their opinions in this. It wasn't just Harry blaming Draco for being a prat and it wasn't just Draco blaming Harry for all of his problems, they actually managed to meet in the middle and work through their issues to some degree. There was something so wonderful and bitter about that part of the chapter and once Draco realized that he was not, in fact, being made fun of and was actually being shown genuine concern, I sort of felt my heart clench for him. It seems like Draco is always on edge, he's never quite sure what's real and what isn't and I think Harry gave him something that he had never had before--trust--and I wonder what might happen in the future.

Now, Ron on the other hand showed all the signs of someone who will NEVER be able to tolerate an enemy. I like the contrast that you did there with the three boys, their varying POVs and opinions really got me into their heads better and while I can understand why Ron feels the way he does, there really isn't any time for it. I enjoyed his bantering with Draco, however. Hahah.

That last little bit has me SO nervous! Voldemort knows where Draco is--The MINISTRY knows where Draco is and now there's a looming threat hanging over their heads in the form of the Minister himself! What?! I can't wait to see what happens next so don't be shy about re-requesting, I'm really anxious!

Another great chapter, I didn't spot any CC's, your pacing is great and your characters have compelling depth. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Aww, I am so sorry to hear that you are still not feeling well, Gabbie. I hope you get better soon! I hate being sick. It is the absolute worst. =/

This chapter and the next one are my favorites out of all the ones that I have re-written so far. I'm glad you have found this "new side" of Draco to be so interesting. Hopefully this impression shall continue, haha!

I was a little nervous at writing Harry, I'll be honest. (I mean, he's HARRY POTTER, lol!!) But since this is AU, the trio have been thru alot in the past year and a half out on their own, and Harry has really had to step it up as a leader. It is for that reason that I see Harry as taking a "bigger-picture" approach on things. He's tired of fighting, and he sees potential in Draco as an ally. They all know that Draco can give them inside information on Voldemort, and everyone is craving for said info. I'm really glad to see that you liked the Harry/Draco side of the conversation so well. You analyzed everything rather well, and I especially liked what you had to say about Draco being on edge and unsure of what is real. He certainly does have a LOT of trust issues to work thru here, lol.

Ron is stubborn and bull-headed, and I imagine that he will always be so. Much like the Gryffindor/Slytherin rivalry, I cannot see Ron (or the twins, for that matter) letting up so easily on the Malfoy/Weasley rivalry. Add to that the fact that he is already in a PO'd mood from wearing the Horcrux all day & night, and you have one angry Weasley, lol. He may come around one of these days tho. Who knows? ;)

I enjoyed writing the banter between Ron and Draco a lot too, but not nearly as much as I liked doing the beginning scene with him and Harry. I tried hard to explore all three of the boys in this though, and get each of their opinions across well. And I am particularly glad to see that you caught on to the contrast between all three of the boys in this. (:

Yep. The secret is out. Everyone knows where Draco is now! Dun-dun-dun!!! I cannot wait to see what you think of the next chapter. I have already re-requested, haha!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this, Gabbie, I really appreciate it! You are such a star reviewer, my dear. Hope you are feeling much better now. See ya in the next chapter!! =)

~Deana~


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Review #17, by pointless_proclamations Trustworthy

5th September 2014:
Deana, this story is so addicting that I really can't stay away. Every chapter becomes my new favourite. :D

I love this moment between Draco and Saleena. You've shown
their dynamic beautifully. I felt my heart almost physically warm. Now that they've both made themselves uninvolved with the remaining members of their biological family, they're turning to each other, aren't they?! It's so sweet! Bahh! I love it. And they were already close before I guess.

You can't imagine how much excitement you introduced into my system when you mentioned Tonks and Remus. And it only increased when you mentioned a particular girl from America. Roxi! Roxi and Draco! I can't wait! Only more awesomeness will ensue knowing your writing.

Your ability to maintain interest at this level is figuratively mind-blowing.

No, Tonks. We do want Roxi here!

The moments that followed: the mention of Mad-Eye, Remus greeting Saleena, it was all so full bittersweetness. It's beautiful, Deana! :D

I found Minerva's reaction to Molly, the hug, so endearing. It shows their really close friendship well. And it introduces the role Minerva will play here just as well. She'll be more intimately involved with the characters. This is no longer Hogwarts and with that hug you've reminded us of that. Ingenious.

Minerva! She really is very worried. Enough to forget that Saleena's not being part of the Order. It is evident that she has so much on her mind. You've thought this through magnificently well!

Little brother! So they are like family! And they'll only get closer
because of this won't they? I love this familial dynamic between the two. I just really do. :D You've written their relationship out so well.

Something happened to Mad-Eye in the warehouse? Is that
how he died here? You never seem to run out of things to
increase my interest in LNW and inspire even more questions. The result of this is my inability to stop reading.

And there's the answer! Wow you made my heart metaphorically drop with that anecdote. I love how you keep stressing the seriousness of this war.

The plot is so thick that even gamma rays cannot pass through it. Gypsies are being taken in?!

There is something so attractive about your writing. So undeniably captivating and magnificent! You have magical writing capabilities.

And, as ever, your last sentence has me impatiently awaiting the next chapter.

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Review #18, by pointless_proclamations Under Arrest

4th September 2014:
Hi, Deana!

I'm sorry it took a little whole, but here I am now! Let me write my thoughts as I go along. :)

'Which rather reliable source of Scrimgeour's?' I thought. Until Arthur spoke up. PERCY?! Oh dear. But now does Percy know?

The emotional roller coaster proceeds as usual, which is to say 'here goes another unexpected series of events that has me basking in the glory that is this exciting and wonderful story.'

What does Percy have against his own family? Whose side is he on? What happened? Deana!

Molly! What is she doing? Okay, I see. And I only grudgingly accept. How very commendably altruistic. I have never been in more awe of any characterisation of Molly before.

One tiny oopsie: 'right's' vs. 'rights' during Arthur's bellowing.

Scrimgeour, you ungrateful git!

Percy, you unspeakable so-and-so! How brilliantly dislike-able you've made him out. I wonder what his motives are. Is he valuing the Ministry over his family? No wonder they've become distant. But is there more to it than that? I guess I'll have to read on to find out. ;)

Saleena!

Is Narcissa's sacrifice keeping him alive despite the poison? Is that how her love is protecting him? Nothing happens to his Dark Mark? Or are both my theories from his review and the last wrong?

Draco, you sneaky thing! I'm impressed. How Slytherin of him. I admire his ability to keep his wits about him at his state. I love that we get to see his shrewdness and his brightness in this chapter!

Your portrayal of Voldemort only gets darker and more frightening. I don't even think the books went into such detail about his horrific activities.

Percy's the rat/mole? Is he a Death Eater? Why? How did he come to decide that his values better align with Voldemort's? Or is it something else? Is he under some kind of control? Was he blackmailed? What a dreadful person!

What else did he do to Arthur? Oh no. There's something more to that moment, isn't there? Deana!

I must comment on the brilliance you have at engineering this chapter. It worked so well! The emotional control over readers is something to be admired. And it's not just the events of the story, but how you write it as well. Your style of writing is indescribable.

Still in awe of your brilliance, your fan and enthusiastic reviewer,
Em :D

Author's Response: Ok, I'm so sorry that I missed that comment about Draco's dark mark on the last review, Em. To answer your question; no, it is not gone. He still has it, but it has just lost it's effectiveness. So Draco doesn't feel it anymore when Voldemort uses the Mark to call his Death Eaters to him. And Narcissa dying for Draco and giving him the protection of a love spell doesn't have anything to do with the deal that was made on the day he was born. You will find out what's up with all that in a later chapter tho, I promise. ;)

Also, Saleena was the one who cured him of his poisoning. She made him an antidote at the very beginning of everything, when she spent a whole 2-3 days pinned up in the room working on him all that time. Sorry, I thought you knew that already. ^_^'

As far as Percy goes. Well, you will certainly be seeing more of him from now on. His motives remain unclear, however. I can tell you tho that he is NOT under the Imperius curse. He's just hungry for fame and power, and Voldemort has promised him a great deal (of lies, lol) in return for his services. When I was creating the original draft for this story, I needed a spy. It had to be someone on the inside, someone they would never expect, someone who also had connections at the Ministry. And Percy just seemed to be the best fit. At the time (which was back in 2006) the last book had not been released yet, so I never knew that Percy was going to come back and rejoin his family for the final battle. So you can imagine my surprise (and disappointment) when I read DH for the first time, lol!! Personally tho, I quite like my evil little Percy. Not every family can be perfect, and I wanted to show that even the Weasley's were vulnerable to deception and betrayal among their own family members. So yeah, this is how all of that came about, lol! Percy is NOT still controlling Arthur tho. That was only his first time performing that curse, so he isn't skilled enough yet to make it work for more than a couple of minutes. So Arthur was released from the Imperius curse as soon as Percy left with the Minister.

I'm glad you enjoyed my characterization of Molly here, I too am quite proud of her, lol. And Voldemort... Yeah, I have had to work on getting his character right a LOT throughout this. A few years ago, I had a Beta that was EPIC at writing Voldemort and I must say that Katie taught me everything I know when it comes to him. I was SO SAD when she left HPFF back in 2012. I still miss her terribly, but at the same time I LOVE Jayde; who is my Beta now. So I suppose that everything worked out well in the end. But I still gotta give credit where credit is due, you know? The thing with the Dementors and the muggles was all MY idea tho, so I'm glad you found it as terrifying as I did.

Thanks again for such an AWESOME review, Em!! I love how full of questions you always are. Hopefully I have answered all of them now, lol! If there's anything more you wanna discuss privately you can always PM me. After all, I cannot reveal ALL y secrets out here in the open, lol!! ;)

~Deana~


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Review #19, by pointless_proclamations Same Side Now

2nd September 2014:
Hello, Deana!

What an exciting chapter! :D

Poor Draco. Where is a Healer to keep guests away when you need one? lol. That can't be good for him.

This story brought up something interesting that I've been pondering over the last few days: Narcissa dying for Draco. Is that parallel to Lily dying for Harry? He probably doesn't have the same mental connection to Voldemort because the spell didn't backfire and nearly kill Voldemoet because he was still able to throw a 'Cruciatus' at Draco after she died. So it didn't make him a Horcrux. But did it, in any way affect Draco being a Death Eater from his birth? Did anything happen to his Dark Mark?

Draco needs a hug. He seems so fragile and broken, but his desire to apologise and make good with everyone is very commendable. I see recovery! You've made a point to show that he's not entirely hopeless despite the circumstances and I love it!

That description of Draco's state and Harry's looking into Voldemort's mind. . . Both scenes are absolutely heart-breaking and fear-inducing. Bravo! I was genuinely frightened.

Harry deserves a high-five for his attitude and Ron dwarves one too for the same reason, except the target of the high-five to the latter should be his face. What a git! I like how you used repetition in his dialogue to display immaturity.

At the same time, I hope that you are going to mature and develop Ron's character more.

I really like how Draco wants to clear things up. How despite how annoyed he is, he makes an effort to convey the truth no matter how weak it paints him on the surface. In this, you've give him strength and a character that anyone could be proud of. You have me such hope and it was a beautiful feeling. Again, I must bring up how clever you are with your characterisation because I felt so much empathy!

Here's what you did. You got the ungrateful Minister of Magic to show up at the Burrow. There is no way he's not going to see Draco. I suspect his lack of graciousness will be explained in more depth?

Deana!

So the Trio hasn't yet found the Sword of Gryffindor or they still don't know how to kill horcruxes. And I guess they haven't found each one yet.

And Snape! I love Snape, so I'm really curious to see what you're going to do with him.

What is Voldemort going to do to Lucius?

So many things you've got me wondering about!

Fingers will continue their twiddling and mind will not cease its worrying until the next chapter. In which another emotional roller coaster awaits I'm assuming.

Until the next chapter, cheers! :D

Author's Response: Hey Em, sorry it has taken me a few days to get back with you on this. Your enthusiasm for this story continues to amaze me, however!! I love it, you honor me with your words!! =D

Draco does have the love protection from his mother, yes, but it is not quite the same as Harry's. I guess the reason Voldemort was able to Crucio him immediately after it happened is because the magic hadn't had time to latch itself onto him yet, if that makes sense. His mother had only been dead a minute or two, if that, so that's why Voldemort was able to harm him in that moment. He figures out later on his mistake tho, and this will be key for future events... Honestly, I never even noticed that plot flaw until now tho, lol. So that's the cover story we're going with! ^_^;

Yes, he is very fragile, and very broken and depressed. So if he seems overly 'sharing' with Harry & Ron, I did this intentionally to show exactly how messed he is right now. Some people don't get that, and they say that he is out of character for confessing so much here. But I'm glad that you got the meaning behind it all. Draco has just been through a terrible ordeal, and he is not himself here, and that is what I was trying to get across. Glad it seems to be showing thru better with this re-written version. Thank so much for bringing that up!!

BAHAHAHA!!! Your comment about Ron getting a high-five-to-the-face just cracked me up!!! The trio only show up a few times here, and the next time isn't until waaayyy later in the story. But by then, yes, I do believe that Ron has calmed down bit. Of course, their circumstances have also changed by that point int the story, so there really is not time for animosity between them. *wink* The trio have not found the sword yet, no, nor do they know how to destroy horcruxes yet. Hermione can't just ask for a book on Horcruxes from the library without giving away their secret. Also, this story was originally written before the Deathly Hallows book was released, so when I was developing the initial plot line for this, I myself had no idea how it was all going to end... Now that I DO know about everything, however, I have tried to include as much from Cannon as possible into this story. So parts of it are DH disregarded, and parts of it are not.

Snape will actually become one of the main characters in this in the late teen-something (or early twenties) chapters, I believe. I hope you will like what I have done with his character when we get to that point also. As for Lucius, he will be showing up again around chapter 13 or 14, I believe. He had a HUGE part to play in this story yet, as you will see. This novel focuses a lot on the father-son relationship between Lucius and Draco. You'll just have to stay tuned to see how that all works out tho, lol!! ;)

The next chapter is actually the one I wrote in continuation from my "Doing the Right Thing" one-shot. So you will finally get to see Scrimgeour again, and learn what happens when he and Draco come face-to-face for the first time since the night of the attack. I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on that as well!! Thank you so much for this incredible review, Em. I am hoping to have time to read more of your super awesome story some time tonight too, so you will be hearing from me again asap as well! See ya in the next chapter!! =)

~Deana~


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Review #20, by Gabriella Hunter Unexpected Visitors

2nd September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie with your review and I'm so sorry that its taken me a minute. I was oddly busy and then my allergies kind of put me in bed yesterday and that really sucked!

Anyhoo, on to this! I was really happy to get back to this story, I was wondering what was going to happen once Draco woke up. Saleena remained as capable as ever and I was really touched by the scenes you wrote with the pair, they were really well-done. I think that you captured Draco's arrogance, fear and pain very well and it was so wonderful to read but my goodness--Lucius took part in his torture? I was stunned to read that! I had no idea that he had sunk so low and the nerve to actually send that letter! But I think that maybe you could explain that in later chapters because its not making his father look very good. Draco of course was furious that his father had betrayed him and I couldn't blame him, though I felt his anguish at the knowledge that his mother was gone. I really can't wait to find out what else you do with his character and how the Trio will try to get along with him.

I liked your versions of Harry, Ron and Hermione as well. They came off as a bit more angry than I would have thought but I like what you did with them and I can't wait to see what you do next, I hope you won't mind re-requesting soon!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabbie!! Sorry it has taken me a few days to reply to this. RL has been super busy this week. Sorry to hear about your allergies tho. I hope you get to feeling better SOON dear!!

I'm glad to see that you like Saleena, and were touched by their conversation. I'm glad you think that I was able to capture everything that Draco was feeling so well. As far as Lucius' participation goes – do keep in mind that there are 2 sides to every story. Right now we are only hearing Draco's side of things, and he clearly is not in his right frame of mind. There is more to Lucius' story than what meets the eye, lol. But I shall say no more on this now. All shall be revealed in due time. ;)

You won't have to wait much longer to see how the Trio interacts with Draco, or Harry and Ron at least. That particular confrontation is actually in the next chapter, lol! Of course I will be back to re-request!! (Actually, I already have, haha!) I love hearing from you, Gabbie. It is always a pleasure!! Thanks so much for coming back to Review! No worries on the time-frame hun. I'm just glad you are reading and enjoying the story so much!! See ya in the next chapter. =)

~Deana~


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Review #21, by pointless_proclamations Unexpected Visitors

1st September 2014:
Deana!

Your story tests my patience and I fail. :P

I don't know if you meant to mention soup and crackers twice to reveal the concern Saleena really has for Draco's well-being, but it happened.

Anyway. The Trio! You had me so worried that they'd end up being negative! They were understandably angered, but so kindly accepting towards the end of their segment. Especially Harry. It made me happy. :D I like being happy.

Oh the things Saleena said about Sirius! It is evident that she still cares and that makes me both sad for her and happy at the same time. I just kept going back to thinking about your beautiful one-shot!

Draco's well again. Kind of. But he is conscious! Recovery! Or the beginning of it. Mental, emotional, and physical recovery. He has a lot to go through doesn't he?

His memories. Oh my goodness. That was written so well! Everything is, but that is epic writing. So captivating.

Lucius? Oh the poor man. That must have really hurt both of them. And Draco doesn't know about the pact his father and Voldemort made at his birth? Oh dear.

And there are his feelings towards the Order. Yikes! Didn't realise how much I had to worry about his reaction. He's injured, I know, but he needs some sense slapped into him. Enter a selfless pink-haired female? Will she be here soon?

I know I had so many theories, but you still surprise me. :)

More theories that I must get out of my system: Draco rings the bell without Saleena? Arguments and apologies? Or just arguments. Or does he refuse to ring the bell? Because he feels that he doesn't deserve such treatment and attentions? Will it be Roxi to help him see that he has strength and is capable of kindness? That kindness is respected? Great theme of that's the case, by the way. I love stories with purpose and themes.

Whether or not Draco knows about Lucius, I'm sure you'll find a way to make things exciting as you are so good at. :D

No need to answer all the questions, but I just like asking them. Your story turns me into a questioning nutcase. :P

A whole lot of awesome is going on here.

Cheers!

Author's Response: Hello again!! I was wondering when I'd see you again, Em. It's always lovely to read your reactions and thoughts to this! I have missed you over the past few days. (:

Draco know the general story of the day that he was born, he just doesn't have all the details yet. I mean, Narcissa would have had to of told him something when he turned 17, and Voldemort has made several mentioning of it by this point too. So he is not totally clueless about what happened. He just hasn't had the chance to hear his father's side of events yet... But this may happen in due time. ;)

Hmmm... Not sure what you mean about the soup and crackers thing, but I will definitely be checking that out. Thanks for the tip!

I love your theories. He doesn't ring the bell, as you guessed, Draco is far too prideful for that. He does end up getting a surprise visitor the next morning instead/ I can't tell you who tho, you'll just have to read on to see!! Roxi will be making an appearance within the next few chapters or so. She gets her first mentioning in the chapter that I have in the queue right now. (Which should hopefully be validated tomorrow, btw!!) And yes, she certainly has a lot to teach Draco, but again, you shall just have to wait and see!! =P

The next 2 chapters are two of my favorites so far. There is a lot more action coming u, and I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on all of that!! Hope to hear from you again SOON!! Thanks so much for everything, Em! =)

~Deana~


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Review #22, by crestwood Under Arrest

31st August 2014:
Hi Deana!

I know the last review was long, but I have SO much to say about this story. It is now six in the morning and on one hand, it's a good thing that this is the last chapter, because I wouldn't be able to stop reading otherwise. But on the other hand, I do not want this to be the last chapter. The second an update happens I am going to jump on it like a rabid dog. I'm dying to see where things go from here. Literally every single chapter I read is my new favorite chapter. It's phyiscally impossible for you to continuing upping the stakes. It seems as though you must eventually run out of stakes right? I got actually stressed out at points while reading this. Like, in real life I got up and started cursing out loud while pacing in circles. I'm afraid I called Percy a piece of human um.. excrement. Yes, let's say excrement. That was just in the first few paragraphs. You write tension so real that I literally feel it myself. I'm legitimately nervous during a lot of scenes. I may be getting too invested when I have to take a few minutes to do some calming exercises in the middle of reading. That said, I LOVE READING THIS SO MUCH AND I WILL GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO CONTINUE. Again, I will absolutely attack that update, whenever it happens.

Okay first off, Percy is the worst person that ever existed. I don't know if he's under the Imperius Curse himself or what.. but leading the Minister to his own parents in an attempt to get them in trouble and bring in Draco on behalf of Voldemort. Really?? Really Percy?? Putting your father under the Imperius Curse?? Are you kidding me Percy?? I just hope he is under some kind of curse because otherwise I will come AFTER HIM. - and then I'll probably remember that he's fictional and calm down.

It was so brave and genius of Molly to give herself up. Obviously with the Order so strapped for cash she couldn't let Arthur go down with his job in the Ministry. She did the only thing she could do in the situation and it was so wonderfully brave. I loved that so much.

I'm glad that the Minister finally heard sense. Even if Draco did not have that information for him, he had no right to pretend that he was a bad guy considering Draco literally saved his life not too long ago. I'm glad Draco explained what Voldemort did to him (still not easy to read) and the Minister came to his senses. Also, I'm so glad Saleena is back!! She improves any chapter she's in just with her presence. I already knew what the two pieces of information were before Draco said them actually. I figured the Dementor thing because the same happened in Canon - although the terrifying image of feeding Muggles to them and then burying them alive was not something that I predicted.. and Percy just seems the type to be Voldemort's spy in this story. Moreover, what he did to Arthur was too evil for him not to be working on the side of Voldemort. Also, the fact that he tortured Draco himself is despicable. And from the sound of it, he enjoyed himself. I can't speak to the kind of emotions you bring out of me toward him. Granted, they aren't positive, but I don't think I'm supposed to feel all too positive toward his character. Point is, I feel something. That, in and of itself, is an accomplishment. This whole story is an accomplishment. - Is Arthur still under the Imperius Curse?? - I know this story has like hundreds of reviews and over a hundred favorites and these reviews I'm leaving are literally like a drop in the ocean, but I really want you to know that this is amazing, amazing work. You could write anything and I'd want to read it. Original, fanfiction, essays. You name it. I'd read your emails if that was all I had available. You are supremely talented. I can't believe this. I really can't. I don't even feel I have put into words how fantastic this is yet, I could go on for a very long time. I'm just typing away. I hope it is being communicated that this is one of the most gripping stories I've ever read. period. Not on this site. Not fan fiction. This is one of the most gripping pieces of fiction I have ever read. Full stop. And you aren't even done. I am going to try my best to patiently anticipate the upcoming chapters. Thank you so much for the swap. You are amazing in every way!

- Joey

Author's Response: Hello again! I still cannot believe that you stayed up ALL NIGHT reading this story, Joey!! Your dedication is amazing, and I cannot tell you how much this has meant to me. You are a star, and I am just still so in awe of every single one of your reviews. But this one is probly my most favorite!! =D

I must say, I laughed SO hard at your reaction to Percy, lol. "Excrement" was a fabulous 12+ word choice; and very creative, haha!! I love making people hate Percy, and seeing their various reactions always makes my day! I will tell you that he is NOT under the Imperius curse tho. No family is perfect, and when I came up with the idea for this story, I wanted to show that even the Weasley family was susceptible to the growing darkness of this war. So I chose Percy to do my evil bidding, lol. I wish that I could say that things can only get better from here, but really they don't. I still have a lot in store for Percy's character and his deception knows no end. ;)

I'm so glad that you liked everything I did with all the characters in this. But I am even more happy that you like my OC, Saleena. The Minister was not an easy guy to write either, so I'm glad people really seem to like and appreciate what I did with his character in this. Oh, and you may (or may not) be right about that "Percy being the spy" guess. I am working on the chapter where this is to be revealed right now, so I will neither confirm or deny this, lol. I will say that Arthur is NOT still under the Imperius tho; Percy's magic is not strong enough to maintain that for an extended period of time or distance. Remember that this was only his first time performing that curse successfully.

Please do not dismiss your input on this story so easily, Joey. Your reviews are certainly NOT just "a drop in the ocean" out of the 460 that I have received, lol. I am starting over with this story, and I haven't had any reviews like this in almost 2 years!! I took an extended leave of absence from HPFF for college, and I feel like I lost a LOT of my regulars because of this. So to have you here now, and to see your newfound dedication to this story has truly inspired me! I went thru a phase back in 2011 to where I just wasn't getting any feedback towards the chapters in the 30's, and it was very discouraging. To the point that I questioned whether or not to continue this. I updated periodically in 2012, and started a new project. And then I left for school in 2013 and I wasn't sure if I would ever come back to finish this...

But I had some free time this summer, so I decided to make a comeback and I started this thing over from the beginning again. And YOU have made me feel like my decision to come back here and complete this story was worth every second. I just feel SO encouraged right now, and I have people like you (and Em & Gabbie) to thank for that!! So don't fear, your message has been communicate quite clearly, lol. And it means more to me than words can even describe!! This is one of the BEST reviews that I have EVER gotten!! I cried a little at the end, (tears of Joy, I assure you) cuz you just made me SO HAPPY!!! Thanks for everything, Joey. You are a superstar and I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on this story in the future. I love hearing from you!! ^_^

-Deana




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Review #23, by crestwood Same Side Now

31st August 2014:
I was taking notes throughout this chapter and I'm going to try and arrange them in a logical order and give you some feedback. It may or may not be five in the morning, but I have.. to.. keep.. reading..

Okay, it was amazing seeing Harry trying so hard to be warm toward Draco. You've written one of my favorite Harry's of all time here - he's just so mature and ready to put everything behind him and I love it. Draco telling Harry about what he went through was not easier to read just because I already knew it all. That story is never not going to make me extremely upset. How can you not feel sorry for him at this point? You'd have to be incredibly insensitive and basically lack any real capacity for critical thinking. - and that is DIRECTED RIGHT AT RON WHO MADE ME ANGRY IN THIS CHAPTER. but back to logical order and all of that - Draco's apologizing, or admitting that an apology is eventually in order, is so moving. Every time he starts crying, it takes everything in me not to join along. I have to take these breaks in the middle of reading and like compose myself and remember to breathe. And I will tell you, this era is not my favorite. I rarely ever read it. I am so firmly a Next-Gen fan that you wouldn't believe, but this has the power to change that. I'm thinking that maybe Post-Hogwarts stories are better than I thought.. or maybe it's just this one? I don't even know WHAT to think anymore.

Now, I will tell you that Ron in this chapter is acting so incredibly irrationally that I can't help be declare myself on Team Draco. It's just so clear that he isn't even trying to understand Draco's point of view and he's completely ignoring Harry. It's so obvious that Draco has a good reason to hate Voldemort now and want to take him down. I mean just look at him!!! - Really chilling description of how he looks as well, forgot to mention that. It kind of turned my stomach to think about - Ron is acting like such a child. I wanted to reach into the story and give Draco a hug and Ron a smack on the back of his head. I think he'll come around though.

I can't believe they haven't gotten rid of the locket yet. And Ron almost letting the word horcrux slip in front of Draco!! Also, the fact that Ron got especially mad when Draco called him nothing but a sidekick is SO perfect because the destruction of the locket in canon showed us how much Ron truly believes that to be true. That hasn't happened in this timeline though. I suppose since Voldemort hasn't taken over the ministry then Bill and Fleur's wedding was never broken up and the Trio never had to run off and Ron could return to the Burrow occasionally and he never left Harry and Hermione and wow, things are just different. I love this though. It's kind of like a chain of events. One thing didn't happen so all of these other things didn't ever. I don't know how you manage to keep all together so perfectly.

I have a theory that Draco now has the same protection that Harry has because of his mother's sacrifice and that is how he survived all of Voldemort's torture. That would be so awesome if I'm right and guessed that. You don't have to tell me though if you want to keep me on my toes trying to guess if I am right or wrong about it, it's just fun to speculate with this story.

Harry's vision is so frightening!! How do you write Voldemort like that! He's so difficult to get right, but you do more than get him right. You make him MORE TERRIFYING. He's so much more ruthless in this story. And the fact that he knows that Draco is at the Burrow is more than scary. Also, when Harry was in Voldemort's mind you referred to Voldemort's thoughts and actions as Harry's... which was petrifying. Ron trying to attack Draco in his current state is a bit ridiculous. Luckily Harry is there to defuse the situation, once again. Harry is just winning all of the cool points. I can't believe the Minister shows up so quickly!! I really hope no one goes to Azkaban. I hope he remembers that Draco saved his life. I'm going to be an emotional wreck if everything goes wrong. You're such an astounding writer!! I love this so much!

Author's Response: Hooray for note-taking, lol!! Sorry for taking so long to reply to this, Joey. I am just... speechless, really. You are so wonderful, really you are. Now I shall have to try and come up with a coherent response, haha!! =P

To hear someone say that I have written one of their favorite Harrys ever is a huge honor, and it kinda makes me wish that Harry was in this story more, lol. You're right; its hard not to feel sorry for Draco at this point, and I knew from the beginning that I had to make Harry see it that way also. Your reaction to Ron cracks me up so much, haha. I know he was behaving like a child, but I wanted to have a good contrast between him and Harry, so I made him a bit more irrational. I myself wanted to smack him for being such a git, but I've always seen Ron acting as stubborn as Molly. I'm sure he'll get used to it tho, in time, but for now he is angry and unafraid to show it, lol. I'm also glad to see that you picked up on the 'sidekick' comment. That was one of the new things I recently added into this to make it go along with DH more. :)

Yes, everything really is different because that one little thing did not happen. You see; I actually came up with the idea for this story BEFORE the last book came out, so that's why everything is so different. Now that I know the real ending to the HP series tho, it does get hard to keep them separate sometimes, lol. But I have a good outline, and I take good notes. Plus I've been working on this story for 6-7 years now, so I don't get it confused too often. I love it when people begin to speculate with this, lol! Your theory may be correct, haha! But that cannot be how Draco survived all the torture, because his mother did not die for him until the very end. Keep that theory in mind tho, as it may be popping up again later. ;)

As for Voldemort's character tho, I cannot take full credit for that. A few years ago, I had a wonderful Beta who was seriously an evil genius when it came to writing the dark lord, lol. Katie taught me everything I know about writing him, and his character wouldn't be near as evil in this, had it not been for her... The vision, and making Voldemort's thoughts/actions Harry's, was MY idea tho. That was something new that I just came up with when rewriting this chapter. This is one of my favorite new edits, lol, so I'm glad you found it satisfactory!

Thanks so much for this amazing review, Joey!! I was shocked to see that you don't usually read this era. Glad I am able to give you a new perspective on things then, lol. Hopefully you will continue to enjoy this as time goes on. I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts in the near future!! =)

~Deana~


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Review #24, by crestwood Unexpected Visitors

31st August 2014:
WOW. Okay, I'm going to try to keep my thoughts coherent...

We finally get our first taste of the Trio in this story and wow they are just as angry as I pictured. Maybe worse... they are not taking kindly to Draco being there. Like, they're really giving Molly and Arthur an earful.

But then Harry takes charge!! I love his scream of enough. The word commanded was a good fit there because he definitely asserted his dominance over the room. And apparently he has done a lot of growing up during this alternate version of the war because he's being so incredibly clear-headed. I appreciate this new Harry a lot actually. What a level headed guy.

I like the idea of Superior Healers. I assume that is a creation of yours because I've never heard of it before. Of course Hermione is interested in her department and such. Even in times like this she's always here to learn.

Saleena and Harry bonding over their shared love of Sirius!! And we find out how they knew each other. Neighbors huh? That'll explain how she knows the whole family. And the fact that she always believed in his innocence makes me like her even more. She's not only trustworthy, but trusting. She's my favorite character by far. That rewrite of this from her POV would be literally mindblowing.

Okay, not literally mindblowing. My mind would *probably* stay intact, but it would be really cool if you decided to do that.

And another thing, great job on not being satisfied with Saleena being a Gypsy being her only identity point. I feel like you gave her a lot of interesting traits that don't have to do with that, so that she doesn't feel like a gimmicky gypsy add-on, but rather a multi-faceted character, that happens to have a mysterious gift that amplifies how intriguing she is.

The conversation between her and Draco was kind of heartbreaking.. seeing him realize all over again that his mother is gone really hurt. Especially knowing that he never had a choice and then reading your one-shot and finding out that even with all of the odds stacked against him, he choose to do good. AND the ministry repays him by putting him on the Wanted list.. it's just almost too much to handle. His dad joined in on his torture for crying out loud.. and he has no way of knowing that his father fought for his life in the very beginning. I just feel so, so sorry for Draco like I never have before. And I'm not even someone who hates him, I just have never seen life throw so much in one person's way. This is amazing. Amazing. I'm obsessed with this story.

Author's Response: Hey Joey!! Sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you. These reviews seriously made my day tho!! It was such a nice surprise to wake up to!! =D

Yay! I'm so glad you like my Harry tho!! You shall be seeing more of 'Harry the Peacekeeper' in the next chapter, for sure... Haha, if you really want to know more about Saleena and Sirius, I have a one-shot about them, you know. Look on my page; it's called "Perfect". I really think that you will like it!! ;)

Yep, the Superior Healers thing was my idea. Glad you appreciated that little aspect as well. You really don't miss much, do you!? *wink* I am, like, super happy that Saleena seems to be coming across so much better now!! You're absolutely right, or course, there's alot more to her than what meets the eye. She's been thru a lot on her life and she has her fair share of secrets.

As for the Ministry putting him on the Wanted List... stay tuned to see how that turns out, lol. And you may not know it right now, but Lucius actually had a very good reason for joining in. Keep in mind that this is Draco's POV right now, therefore we are only hearing about what he believes is the most accurate version of events. There is still alot more to come on his father's side of the story as well. We have not seen the last of Lucius yet. ;)

Yay! I have new fans. I love new fans, haha!! Honestly, your newfound obsession with this story just makes everything that I have put into it so much more worth it!! Thank you SO MUCH for reading, and for all of your enthusiasm. I cannot wait to continue to hear your thoughts on the rest of the story as well!! =D

~Deana~


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Review #25, by crestwood The Healer

31st August 2014:
This just got even more interesting. I was already thinking that this is a really original idea and that I've never really read anything like this and then you introduce a gypsy character. I can't even begin to speak on how well done you did this too. I didn't quite understand what Saleena's mother could be alluding to when she said "our people." I was trying to guess, but I could not place my finger on it. I knew it was something special though. It felt important and I knew I'd be blown away by it. But, I have to say gypsys in the Harry Potter universe is one of the most clever ideas that I've read on this site. I am so incredibly excited to see what kinds of magical properties you've given Saleena and what her "gift" entails. Apparently it is something that would help with Healing, which explains why the Malfoys would want her above all, although Draco being Wanted probably has something to do with it as well.

The Gypsys are considering joining forces with Voldemort, which is bad news of course. But, as we know, he has a way of convincing people of things. Very clever with words that Riddle is..
I'd love to know more about Kireonna and her relationship with Mrs. Black and how close Saleena was with Sirius!! This all seems so interesting. And Saleena refers to the Malfoys as 'wand carriers' Does this mean that she doesn't need a wand to practice her form of magic? In general, I'm so invested in her story and her people, which is a HUGE accomplishment to manage within one chapter. But you've really made her pop off of the page, especially with her coldness toward her mother. She truly does not have much pity for that woman. So far each chapter has had a different POV, giving us all these different sides of the same events. It's incredible because I thought this would be a story of smaller scope and then I start to read and realize you are not only telling a story about Draco, but that you are telling what is starting to look like an epic of sorts. I can't tell you how impressed I am by this.

It's interesting that you're a Gryffindor and yet you paint Draco in such a favorable light here and of course, your name on the forums shows some love for the Malfoys. That just struck me as very.. open minded.

Anyway, you've absolutely pulled me in. I don't know how I'll stop reading this and go to bed tonight. Each chapter has been an improvement on the last. Whatever you did to these chapters in editing, continue doing that!!! haha

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad to see you like the Gypsies so much!! You'll see more of what their "gifts" can do, and how their culture operates as a whole in the new chapter that I am working on right now. (Hoping to have that one up and validated by the end of next week, so stay tuned!!) Also, you will be seeing more of Kireonna's character as the story progresses later. She makes a reappearance in, like, the early twenty-something chapters, I believe... **If you are still curious about the Gypsies, and wanna learn more about Saleena and her relationship with Sirius, I recommend stopping by to read my one-shot entitled "Perfect" also.** ;)

You are right again; the gypsies do not require wands to do magic. I'll give you that specific detail ahead of time, since you pretty much guessed it yourself, lol! TBH: I have given some serious thought to writing this story over from Saleena's POV once this Novel is done. I have had several people wanting to see a Gypsy-centered fic... I may-or-may-not attempt this for NaNo this year. Still not certain how my schedule will look in the next 3 months tho. If I DO write one, however, you will definitely be one of the first people to know, I promise!! =)

I rewrote Saleena's alot of back-story when I edited all of this. This chapter was so long and drawn-out; it was combined with the next chapter all into one!! And she was coming off as Mary-Sue to alot of people by giving too much of herself away right off the bat. So I cut a bunch of that back and am introducing her more gradually now... And to hear you say that she was "popping off the page" like that just seriously made my night!! HUZZAH!!! Thank you so much for this, Joey. I really appreciate it!! =D

Wow? Do you really think this could be that Epic?? YAY!! thank you, thank you, thank you!! This is one of THE BEST compliments that I have gotten on this story in such a LONG time!!! I have really been working hard on this, ALL summer now, lol! I had to take a break from HPFF for a year and a half while I was on school, and I missed it SOO much!! I like to think that all the essay-writing I had to do in college helped improve my writing tho, lol. When I came back and read back over my old stuff, I was like: "ok, I can make this sooo much better now." And that's exactly what I am trying to do!! Glad that somebody has taken notice, tehee!! =P

That being said now, you CANT sit up all night and read ALL of this tonight - it isn't finished yet!!! For the time being, you HAVE to pretend that there are NO MORE published chapters AFTER #7: Under Arrest, cuz the story will not make much sense past that point. I have altered quite a bit from the beginning, so the later chapters do not yet go along with the overall tone that this fresh new beginning has, lol!! So PLEASE be patient with me, and follow along as I re-post this story. It'll be fun, haha!! You have your review-thread, so I shall just keep coming back to request a review as each new chapter becomes available for public viewing!! Sound like a deal? ;)

A million thanks go out to you for doing this with me tonight. It has been a LOT of fun, and I cannot wait to do it again! I look forward to receiving more of your feedback in the near future, Joey!! =D

~Deana~


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