Love it so much!! Why don't you update?! :( Report Review
I love this story so much. The format is different and therefore refreshing. The characterizations of James and Sirius are spot on - congratulations! They are tricky ones to master. Lily was well done, also. I loved her song; it suited her perfectly. Please keep writing! Report Review
Yay, Marauders. :) Cute.
I'm loving your descrips, but I want more, more, more! What are they wearing? Facial expressions? What conversation do they exchange? Maybe James winks at a girl or something.
I've always thought the idea of a foursome of girls in James' year is kind of cliche, especially when it includes Lily. Just try to keep it fresh. :)
Great start!Author's Response: I love reading about the Marauders, writing them proves to be more difficult.
Thank you, I'm so glad that you like them! Thanks for your advice :)
I do, too. I haven't really delved into the whole reason why there's four and four. Hopefully, once it's all explained it won't seem cliche.
Thank you! :) Report Review
this is incredibly well done. I read the summary and thought it was definitely a possible cliche but what i have read has very much reassured me that its not. I like the fact that Marlene has a similar personality to Sirius because that's probably the kind of person Sirius would be attracted to. Ah, and you've done a good job on characterizing all 'the pretty faces'. People often tend to get carried away with Lily and make her seem like her tempter goes off at everyone but you haven't. The only thing was that i thought it was a little too soon for her to think she was falling for James hard after just one incident. But maybe you'll change my mind :)
I was reading over some of your reviews and you were saying that you weren't sure if you were continuing this because of the lack of reviews or something but i think you have heaps of reviews! and they're all so complimentary - i hope mine is too!
So i think you should continue ... maybe also because i really want to see what happens next :)Author's Response: Thankyou, I'm glad you think so. It's really hard to not write a cliche Marauders story. I'm glad you don't think this is cliche, that's reassuring to me. I really like writing Sirius/Marlene because you see a lot less of them than you see say, James/Lily. I don't want to make Marlene seem like an OC that you see in Sirius stories, I'm trying my best to make her different.
Its been taking awhile to get into all the characters personalities, but this is really how I picture them in my mind. I've gotten that comment about my Lily chapter and its more like everything has been building up to that point. It didn't just happen suddenly, although it does seem like that...
It was just because I had gotten a less amount of reads and reviews compared to the other chapters. I wasn't sure if people still liked what I was writing. I did get all these amazingly wonderful reviews from anonymous readers and I think that's what made me start writing chapter five. I hope my review responses didn't make me seem ungrateful, because I really am. It was just a little frustrating. And yours is definitely complimentary.
Thankyous so much for reading and reviewing! I have two pages of chapter 5 written and I hope you continue to read and that you like it! :) Report Review
This story is SO good!
UPDATE PLEASE!Author's Response: You think so? Thankyou! I've written half of the next chapter, so hopefully it'll be out soon! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Did I mention I love your chapter images? I didn't? Well I do! Especially the first one! It was cool how it was animated...I've never seen it do that before.
Anyways, another great chapter! I really like James' character. Yeah, it is obvious that James likes Lily, but he doesn't do it OUT THERE. He doesn't pronounce his undying love for her for the whole school to see...he's more honest and subtle about it. His only fault would have to be his arrogance, but that's a giving considering he's James Potter.
James actually thinking about Lily's feelings for once was also pleasant. I look forward to a change in his behavior for now on. And Lily walking in on James was b-r-i-l-l-i-a-n-t.
No criticism here. You are a great writer. I'll say once again that you have a gift with description. Um, feel free to repost on my thread!
Constants =]]Author's Response: I love them, too. Ande @ TDAs made them.
Thankyous :) Yeah, I was afraid I'd made him too arrogant. And I didn't want to have him asking Lily out every five minutes. He obviously likes her, but he doesn't profess his love for her, he shows he likes her in his own way (annoying her relentlessly and complimenting her).
Yeah, he likes her a lot so he obviously cares about her. I'm glad you liked that scene :)
Oh, thanks :) Thankyous so much for your helpful reviews!
Hello dear, I'm here doing my job...reviewing your story!
I certainly do like a Maurader's era story, and you delivered the goods. What I really enjoy about it is your use of description. You have a knack for describing things...people...the place and setting. I was drawn into the story although there was no dialogue. The description was the best in here, and without it, it would've seemed like you were introducing your main characters on a conveyer belt. Instead (do you watch "Lost"? I'm about to do a metaphor based on it), you give them all a purpose for being there. Like all the main characters on "Lost", you introduce them in the beginning yet don't give there feelings or character away. I hate stories that begin with (ex.) "Sirius was good-looking, with gelled back hair. It was obvious he was a player when it came to girls, but it didn't matter because he was good-looking" I mean, come on! How would you know that my glimpsing at him for a second? I'm sorry I'm being a little random here, but I admire you for not doing that. IT IS SO CLICHE IT MAKES ME SICK!
I couldn't get much plot out of this chapter, as it was pretty short and only described them getting on the train. What surprised me most was Alice's last name, Prewitt. That means that Molly and her are related, therefore making Ron and Neville related if it was canon. An interesting take on the HP series. Good job!
Sorry for my random show related metaphors!
Constants.Author's Response: Oh, hi! Thankyou!
I love the Marauders era, as well. I really like using description to sort of "paint a picture" for the readers. When I wrote the Prologue, I wanted to describe and introduce all the characters, appearance-wise because you don't know someone's personality by just looking at them. As shallow as it is, everyone always notices the good-looking people first. There is dialogue in the future chapters, but for the Prologue I wanted to explain things and then drop bits of information into it. I think throughout the story I always have a lot of description, that's what makes writing this take so long!
I used to watch it a lot, but not so much anymore. I understand what you mean, though. I think that's a different way of looking at it, I never really thought about it that way.
I actually originally wrote this because I love the Marauders era, the first stories I read on the site were of Marauders' era. When I came across Marauder stories sometimes, I didn't like them, so that lead me to write my own, the way I liked to read them.
I hate cliches, as well. And I hope this isn't.
Yeah, this is only the Prologue, and the future chapters I take to introduce each character in depth. I actually read somewhere that that was actually Alice's last name. Molly's last name is Prewett, and Alice is a pureblood (and they're all inter-related somehow). I was going through the Black family tree and, get this, James and Sirius are actually related! I can't take credit for it, because I know I found the information somewhere else, I belive it was HPL, but I can't be sure..
No problem, I appreciated them, they're actually accurate in understanding the story. Thankyous so so much for reading and reviewing! The constructive criticism in this is really helpful.
Amanda Report Review
Wow. I just found and read your story and it is honestly my favorite fanfiction that I have read. The characters are strong and developed, it already has an interesting plotline, and you don't ruin Sirius' character like a lot of other fanfics do. This chapter was really intense and great, and helped make sure Sirius didn't become a one-sided character. Whose perspective is next?
Please update soon!Author's Response: Why is everyone saying wow, lol? I'm really touched that its your favourite fanfiction, thankyou. I'm really trying to write each character in depth. Sirius is my favourite character and I think there's more to him than the shallow womanizer people often depict him as. Marlene's perspective is next. Then Remus's, then Mary's, then Peter's, then Alice's. Thankyous for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Wow. That scene between Regulus and Sirius is so powerful, it really adds a lot to this story. I think this whole chapter is extremely revealing as to Sirius' character, and I think the Marlene thing isn't cliche because in this story it really makes sense. This chapter gave a lot of depth to Sirius and stopped him from being just a shallow womanizer like most stories make him. Please update soon, and by soon I mean REALLY soon, because this story is amazing!!Author's Response: Oh, thankyou, I was trying to write this chapter seriously, not just the way everyone writes Sirius as a heartless womanizer. I think his character is a very deep one, as is Regulus's. Thankyous, I'm glad you don't think everything going on between Sirius and Marlene is cliche. I'm glad you like this, thanks for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Wow. The characters in this story are already so strong and I have such a great sense of their personalities. They're so different from the typical Maurader era characters. This story has so much potential to be amazing, I hope you update soon because I loved it! thanks!Author's Response: Oh, thankyou for such a lovely review! I'm going to go through "all the pretty faces" so that each character is properly explained. I was afraid they were all cliche, so its reassuring that you think they're different. I'm actually not sure about this story... I had trouble with the last chapter and the response kind of confirmed that it wasn't that good. Thankyous for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
I just found this fanfiction, and i'm already hooked. It is by far the best one i have ever read. ever.
please update soon, I'm dying to hear what happens!!
i love how it's not all clichéd like a lot of other fanfics.
UPDATE SOON PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!Author's Response: Well, I'm glad you like it. And that you think its the best ever. Thankyous so much! I'm glad you don't think its clichÃƒÂ©. Although, I'm not sure I'm continuing this to be honest, I was having trouble with it and then the review response kind of confirmed that it wasn't that good. Anyways, thankyous so much for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Sirius is my favourite Marauder and I think you wrote him well. Although the chapter was a bit choppy in places and too short, I think it was overall decent. I thought that "When you were young" was a good song choice. I love the Killers. I think the stuff between Marlene and Sirius is cute. Update soon!Author's Response: He's mine, too, thankyous. I know it seemed weird to me too and I was right, the lack of reviews says a lot. I love The Killers, too! I'm glad you don't think Sirius/Marlene are cliche. The next chapter is in progress, hopefully I'll have it out soon. Thankyous for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
This story is amazing!! It's already one of my favorite fanfics. I love how each of your characters is different from how typical fanfics portray them, it adds some variety and excitement. I just love the ideas behind this fanfic and I think it could turn out to be absolutely AMAZING so please please please update soon!
I really like the idea of how Sirius was the perfect son before he became a Gryffindor, it really gives insight into how messed up he and his family is. It helps explain his womanizing and dependance on James.
Again, please update soon because this story is great!Author's Response: Thankyou, I'm glad you like it! I really didn't want them to be cliche, and I'm glad you don't think they are. The next chapter is almost done, so hopefully I'll have it out soon.
I'm glad you liked Sirius' point of view, because I was having a hard time with it.
Thankyous so much for reading and for your lovely review! :) Report Review
Love this story!!
Please update soon, it's so good!
10Author's Response: Thankyous! I'll try my best. Report Review
i love all the changing perspectives :) and sirius was good. well sirius always needs a love interest, so cliche as it may be, it'll be good. and i'm sure you can write it well so it won't even seem cliched at all.
the ending kind of sucks for sirius. a bit morbid :P its kind of nice that they have that conversation though, like trying to retain some inkling of the relationship
oh must mention, love the deathstick thing :P
awesome chapter. whos POV is it next?Author's Response: I'm glad, its going to go through "all the pretty faces" then the whole story is going to start, revolving around everyone. I'm glad you like Sirius'. I really wasn't sure about this chapter. I hope it'll be good, I'm trying as hard as I can for it not to be cliche. Thanks for the encouragement :)
Yeah, I'm really into Regulus' character, so I wanted to put him in. Sirius and him are going to grow closer in this story... Regulus needed someone to help him see the light.
Haha, me too! I was re-reading the Deathly Hallows and they mentioned "or years wizards boasted... (that line)" and the first thing I thought of was an innuendo. Because, argh, all boys boast about their "big monsters"... however small they really are.
Thankyous for reading and reviewing! Next point of view is Marlene. The order after Marlene is: Remus, Mary, Peter and then Alice. Report Review
that would be so embarassing...
‘Well,’ continued James, ‘generally they go for, “Potter! You gorgeous, talented boy!” said James, smirking at her
that had to be my favorite quote in the entire chapter.Author's Response: Yeah... sucks to be Lily at that point.
I'm glad you like that line considering I had a hard time writing James... Thankyous for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
HAHA the big monster! Oh James, you crack me up! Loved it!Author's Response: I love writing James. Thankyous for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you liked it :) Report Review
Haha oh Lily. Wonderful again :)Author's Response: Yeah, sucks to be caught in her position in this chapter, oh well. Thankyous :) Report Review
Great chapter, and one of my favourite songs of all time!! God the Killers are brilliant... And you are too, of course!
Can't wait for the next one, eh?
xxAuthor's Response: Thankyou :) yeah, I love all The Killers songs, they inspired a lot of this story. Thanks, you're brilliant, too. Next chapter will come quicker, I promise. Thankyous for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Oooh I'm intrigued. I liked it very much! Great start :)Author's Response: Thankyou, I'm glad you do! :) Report Review
This is pretty good so far, considering I don't read James/Lily much cos I find the way most people write it so irritating and cliche. :)Author's Response: Thankyou :) Well, this won't just be a James/Lily. It surrounds the Marauders. So, it won't be just them. I think that a lot of James/Lily stories are cliche, too. But, I have found a few that are really good. Thankyous for reading and reviewing! Report Review
Wow, its really good!
Update soon!Author's Response: Thankyou, Im glad you like it... Ive re-written the next chapter like, four times. But, I will try to have it out in the next two weeks. Sorry for the delay. Thankyous for reading and reviewing! :) Report Review
Please update soon! I'm getting so bored; I keep checking for chapter 4 but it never comes!Author's Response: the queue is closed, and it only opens on the 24th, but i swear when it opens i'll post the next chapter. sorry for the long wait. thankyous for reviewing! Report Review
ok everybody uses the guy in the picture as james but who is he really!?Author's Response: he's a model, his name is gaspard ulliel. Report Review
Well this story seems good. Haven't seen such a strong co flict yet to make it really interesting but I'm gunna keep checking on it to read :)Author's Response: thankyou:) this is just the beginning. every character will have their own chapter, just so readers can get an idea of how i'm depicting them as. after that, everything will begin. thankyou for taking the time to read and review, it's appreciated. Report Review
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