upload the next chapter soon! plzplzplzplz!! Report Review
OK please continue with the book its been what a year. i have just re read chapter 1 and 2...Author's Response: I will try to have something up soon, I didnt know that it was that long. Report Review
Hey HEY when are you going to write some more.??? I have been waiting a LONG time.Author's Response: I am sorry, Report Review
hey when are you going to continue this story. ive been waiting.Author's Response: Yes I am and hopleful there will be somethink some time soon Report Review
It is really a good start, though personally I wouldn't think of Dudley doing that to his own daughter. But, it's definately a Dursley. I can't wait to read chapter 2. BTW, check out my story, HP and The Lost Prophecy. Report Review
hey (: I luuurrveddd it. I remember you reviewing my story Something Bittersweet. trolololololol.Author's Response: Thank you, =] Report Review
It's a really interesting take, and I can't find out what happens next. The Dursley's aversion to magic is a great way to hold a reader's attention. Well-written and imaginitive, great job. :)Author's Response: Thank you for the review Report Review
Wowie...Weasley family is HUGE!!! :O
No wonder poor Imogen is confused!!!
The way the Potters and Weasley try to make Imogen feel home is SO sweet...And Ron telling the Troll story...I rewinded back to that scene in the movie...the look on Daniel's face was precious!!!
You have captured the emotions well...Well done!!
~CessZAuthor's Response: Lols I know what you mean by them being so big this is the only way I thought it could come out and this way you would get to know who is who faster.
Thank-you Report Review
Potter kids are SO sweet :D
BTW i like purple too...
Its really well the way yu have characterised all your characters...Hope to read more...
~CessZAuthor's Response: Thank-you
I was really worried that they come out all wrong and even the same person. Report Review
Dudley still has a grudge???
I had hoped he would get over it post DH...but I guess some people never change...and how can they be SO mean to poor Imogen?? the way they treat her is heart-breaking, but yes that is exactly what could be expected from Vernon & Petunia!!! :(
Looking forward to read more...
~CessZAuthor's Response: Dudley may have a diffrent grudge... thats all I am saying. Alot of people say the same thing about this. All I am saying is there is more that meets the eye
Thank-you once again Report Review
Love this idea! I really like the way it's turning out, and I can't wait to read more!Author's Response: Thank you and I am glad that you like this Report Review
Great update! Loved the discussions, bonding with james, meeting ron and hermione's family, and there is a typo in the preview of next chapter ;)Author's Response: thank you, dam my typos.
If you were happy to see her meet Ron and Hermione just wait for the next one. Report Review
There are few misplaced quotation marks and a couple of typos. Now that the "criticism" portion of the review is out of the way, I have to say that you've created a very engaging story. It isn't surprising that Dudley's daughter could be a witch, something that may have come to other writers as well. The difference is that you've created a character that doesn't seem forced; Imogen comes off as a very believable person.
I'm looking forward to seeing how you develop Imogen, as well as her relationships with the Weasley/Potter family and extended Hogwarts friends. Keep writing.Author's Response: Thank you, I will look in to the typos and that.
The next chapter will be up soon as I can, I am happy to hear that you see her as beliveable that was one of my fears about her. Report Review
Great chapter! Poor Imogen, it must be mega confusing for her! Especially with such a huge family! I'm intrigued about the next chapter :)Author's Response: Thnak you and I am glad that you like Imogen, I will try and have the next one up soon Report Review
First, I like the idea of Dudley throwing a magesport of his own; however, I can't see him reacting like Uncle Vernon--worse than Uncle Vernon, really--given the tentitive reconciliation between Harry & Dudley in DH.
Second, you need to check your grammar and punctuation in several places.Author's Response: Thank you and i have a reason of what Dudley has done you will see in later chapters. Report Review
This story is really progressing well.
Can't wait for the nest chapterAuthor's Response: Thank you and I hope that you like the next one just as much Report Review
Awesome story! I don't like stories where Dudley is still a git, but this one is too good!Author's Response: Thank-you, I dont like it when Dudley is nice and just lose all of the Dudleyness, I fine that he need some. He wasnt going to be that mean, but its going to help the plot in the long run.
Hope you like the next one just as much, pleas let me knowwhat you think of it. Report Review
I love the second chapter and cant wait for the need chapter to see what happens now.Author's Response: Thank you so much, I just hope you do like the next one as well. Report Review
Really good, just a few confusing sentences e.g. 'but we will to be able to let her go there'. Just a small thing. However, the plot and characters are still really good and I can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens next and how you develop the plot. Update soon, please!
scorpiusandroseAuthor's Response: Thank you, I will be updating in the next few days and I will go over the chapter soon as I can.
Thank you once more Report Review
Lovely idea! Perfectly executed too! Nothing bad to say at all!
scorpiusandroseAuthor's Response: Thank you for the reveiw Report Review
I pretty much just have to say the same thing as before, there seem to be quite a few mistakes where you simply use the wrong word in a sentence. I recommend rereading the story yourself after finishing it or getting a beta reader on the forums to help you out. The narrative could use a little more description in it, something to engage the readers more and make us really feel like we're there with Imogen and really feel how she's feeling. Also I'm not entirely convinced by the way that Imogen took the sudden change in her life. I mean she found out she was a withc, had her parents abandon her, and moved in to a completely new house with completely new people that she'd never met before in her entire life and yet she seems extremely comfortable. I understand that Harry and Ginny are supposed to be very welcoming and trying to make it as easy on Imogen as possible, but I feel like an eleven year old would be a lot more distraught over the situation. You should try showing how she's feeling while everything is happening. If you want her to be scared and upset but be putting on a front for fear of upsetting Harry and Ginny then have her do things or think things that show nervousness, or grief. I definitely think there should be 's more grief Imogen's thoughts, I feel like an eleven year old would be asking a lot of questions, and be very upset and demanding answers and to go back home,or have her thinking to herself that this must all be a dream. However, if you want to take the route where Imogen is unusually strong and mature for her age then you should have her thoughts reflect that more, by having her thinking to herself that everything is going to be okay, and have her trying to sort everything that's happened in her mind so she can comprehend it. Still a very good story though and I think that with a little work you could make this into a very interesting read.Author's Response: Thank-you for the review.
To me I would find that I would be in an auto piolet mode so I have shown this and in the next chapter Imogen explans this. I will look in to this Report Review
I think this story is very interesting, Dudley having a child that turns out to be a witch is definitely a storyline I would like to see developed, I think it's something that you could have a lot of fun with. However, there were a lot of mistakes in the chapter that caused me to reread somethings a few times. There were a few times where you used "I" instead of "a", and "the" instead of "this", and I noticed that when Imogen yelled at the adults you wrote "Happing" instead of "Happening". These mistakes can cause readers to trip up sometimes and make them have to go back and reread a sentence or even a whole paragraph in order to understand what is going on, and if they have to do that too many times many readers may decide that the story is not worth reading if they have to work through mistakes like those. This would be a shame because I think that it is a very original and intriguing idea for a story and could be very well done. In addition, I found that the writing was a tad dry. I wasn't sure if this was because the narrative was in the voice of Imogen Dursley and she is only 11 years old and you wanted the narrative to sound childish or not, but I think that you should work on descriptions more and try not to rush the story so much. I felt like you were trying to cram a lot into this chapter when you would be better off taking your time and being descriptive about the surroundings and the characters feelings both emotionally and physically and split it into two chapters if you must. Otherwise it ends up feeling rushed and the reader comes to the end of the chapter knowing what happened but not really feeling for the characters and their situations, which can make them feel unattached to the story and might cause them to not continue to read, and you definitely want to engage your audience and capture their attention and feelings.Author's Response: Thank-you for the review and I will look in to these things Report Review
Hi, blueirony here with your review from the forums. I am not too sure what you want me to review on since you responded with "anything" in the areas of concern in your request, but I will try my best to pick up on what I think are the main points.
I think that this is a good start to a story.
Your different POV offer another insight into each of the characters and it is not choppy or confusing. Each character is clear and easy to differentiate between. Of all the characters, Imogen is the most developed, though that makes sense as this is her story. I hope that you intend to develop the other characters further and that they do not serve as background characters who are featured in your story simply because they exist. It will be interesting to see how Imogen fits in with the rest of the story.
The idea for this story is also an original one. I definitely sympathise with Imogen and her plight. It must be horrible for her father to so horribly reject her. However, since her mother and her brother do sympathise with her situation, I hope that you do not completely write them out of her life. It would be disappointing if that happened as they could provide another layer to the story.
You have introduced Imogen into the magical world well, though I think you can expand on her confusion and sadness ever so slightly. Obviously, she is feeling very overwhelmed so she does not have enough time to really think of her situation. But I just would hate it if you ventured into her being completely accepting of her new life. She is young and I think she is extremely scared and I would love you to show that.
Overall, I good start to what should be an enjoyable story. Well done!
Joop :]Author's Response: Thank-you and good to hear that the POV enter over well and that you could tell it was someone else
Her mother and brother will not be writen out but they will be taking sometime out for a bit, but they will be back, its for a good reason Report Review
Another good chapter. I really liked the bit from Joshs point of view and I hope that he doesn't dissappear just because he's not magical. I love the potter kids, as well, and I hope eventually you give a little insight to what theyre thinking.
Great job! Feel free to request again when you've posted another chapter.
Kristen=]Author's Response: Thank-you and I will request again.
Josh is not to dissappear but he will not be here for abit, but he will be back
Hey there, krissyanne426 from the forums here.
I really liked this first chapter. I think it's a great introduction and I can't wait to read more.
I'd really like to know what her brother is feeling and thinking. I mean, they are twins, but I know sometimes it's hard tonfit everything.
Can't wait to read more.
Kristen=]Author's Response: Thank-you and I am happy to hear that you like it Report Review
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