Lots of kissing
Interesting? Report Review
love love love it in i added it to favorites Report Review
lol this so deffinetly could have happend Report Review
Ha ha, Ginny's not a girl to mess with!
Great job!Author's Response: Oh thank you. You are so right about Ginny!:) Report Review
Hi Potters Girl
well, dat was really funny.. particularly d last puch line was really very good n it gave such a nice finish 2 d story.. gr8 job! I particularly liked d little 'revenge' Harry and Ginny carried on against Ron 4 his nosey nature.. Overall, it was funny n nice 2 read it. Good job!
-AashnaAuthor's Response: Thank you so much! :) I am so glad you liked the story. It makes me happy. :) Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
That made me laugh, but it was also slightly sick! I feel so bad for Ron! That's slightly perverted! Very good, though! :DAuthor's Response: Oh, thank you so much. You really made my day. Thanks for reviewing. :) Report Review
This is hilarious!! Haha I love it! Good job! 10/10
~AAuthor's Response: Oh thank you! :) I love making people laugh. Report Review
Love it, it is so fun,, poor Ron! Haha Jessiy xAuthor's Response: Yay! Reviews! Thank you! You are so sweet. Sorry I am using to many ! points. Thanks for reviewing! :):):):):):) Report Review
hey i really liked this one
that was the first fanfiction i ever read and tonight i was looking for one and read it again xD
congrats for the amazing story and thank you for introducing me the world of the fans ^^
i figured out that you ;Harry and Ginny; and me have almost the same taste for stories, when i reviw somethig i see her name or yours hehe
ps : lol i also have problems with the grammar coz i'm brazilian and i'm still learning englishAuthor's Response: Oh my gosh thanks. Don't worry I am hispanic which means English grammer is so not in my blood. Thank you for your amazing review. You really made my day! :) Report Review
gr8 job.short n sweet ..i really njoyed readin. ur story..hope u continue writing nice 1s..Author's Response: Thanks. I will write more one shots soon so no worries about that. ;) Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
ha ha they got him GOD.Author's Response: Yep, that's Ginny all right! Thanks for reviewing! :):):):):): Report Review
LOVE IT :D short,, lovely :P
xAuthor's Response: Oh my god thanks. I am glad you loved it. Thanks for reviewing! ;););););););) Report Review
Cute! I am on like, a reviewing STREAK today and I just can't seem to stop. So if I start leaving too many for you, let me know and I will move on! I like this, because I love overprotectiveness. I think it might be the single cutest thing ever. Very nice. Good job! Not really that much to improve on, you should be proud!
~Alassie~Author's Response: Oh my goah thanks. You really made my day and put a smile on my face, Thank you so mcuh! Thanks for reviewing! ;););) Report Review
I love this!!! I don't think Ron would have just stood there the first time they snog but I do see Ginny keeping him captive. Also I think Harry would have said "Sorry Ron, but you wanted to keep an eye on us." and they snog Ginny (for the second time). Just my thoughts. Report Review
Oh how sweet. Harry and Ginny finally get together, and Ron doesn't have anything better to do than to spy? He's lucky he didn't get a nose full of bats. Hee hee. This was really good. Any chance you might expound on this?Author's Response: Oh thank you so much. You are truly sweet and it really means a lot when people give feedback. I'll try to expound it as soon as I can. Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
cute! quite funny, darn that Ron and his overprotectiveness!Author's Response: Oh my gosh thanks. Yeah but that is just how Ron is sadly ;) Thank you so much for reviewing :):) Report Review
awesome topicAuthor's Response: Oh thank you! You are so sweet. You totally made my day with homework and stuff. Report Review
So I noticed a few grammar and spelling issues here or there, but aside from that I liked the story a lot. I loved the ending, pertifying Ron and making him watch. Very funny, made me chuckle out loud.
I see its chapter one, is there going to be more?Author's Response: Oh no, this is a one shot. I have to think of a chapter title first.Anyways I will check spellng later. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
WOWWOW!WOW!WOW!WOW!WOW!WOW!WOW!WOW!Author's Response: Oh I am so glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
This was cute and funny, but if you edit it, I would suggest some more detail. It would make for a smoother read, I think. I loved the end, though.Author's Response: Oh Thank you. I am so glad you reviewed! I am glad you lked it. I will be sure to edit it soon! Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
lol Love this story! the spacing of the lines is a little weird though.
^^ keep up the good work.Author's Response: Thanks. I spaced the lines so it could be easiar to read. I am so glad that you love this story. Thanks for reviewing! ;) Report Review
I liked the story but the spell that Ginny threw at Ron wasn't supposed to be "Petrificus Totalus"? Don't take me wrong ok?
10/10Author's Response: Oh sorry I kind of forgot the spell where you make people still and can't move but are not petrified, so I just put that one. Either way I am glad you liked my story! Thanks for reviewing. :) Report Review
Not bad, but you might want to look at your word phrasing in parts. Thats my biggest advice to you now if you want o improve your writing. An awkward phrasing can break the whole train of thought of the reader. For example when Ginny is telling Harry that he needn't worry about anything, she follows it up with "Anyways, the only thing I want to know is what took you so long?" That could be shortened to a more concise form, particularily since both "Anyways" and "the only thing" are introducing the idea, they're kinda of subtly redundant. In fact that sentence is drawn out into a very long form to get a kind of straight forward idea out, and Ginny is a straight forward girl. A better more concise phrasing might have been "I just want to know what took so long?!" Its got more emotion, especially as people tend to shorten our sentences when speaking with emotion. In fact my advice to you in general is to break down your sentences into more concise form, to use fewer words to express more specific ideas. For example in the next part where Harry is telling Ginny about seeing her kissing Dean, Harry says he was really angry but wouldn't show it unlike Ron. Pretty much most of that sentence is not strictly necessary. Obviously Ginny knows Harry didn't show his anger, because she would have seen it. And obviously she knows that Ron did as the whole thing led to a massive fight that escalated even beyond Ginny and Ron to Hermione and Dean and others. So that was not necessary. All Harry is really revealing to Ginny there is how at that time he was able to realize his feelings by the anger that suddenly swelled within him. I'd try shortening the sentence to something that just expressed that. Also, instead of wouldn't in that sentence, I'd go with couldn't, because that was really the problem with the sentence, Harry couldn't express his anger or he'd reveal his emotions, involve himself in the situation, and compromise his relationship with Ron, and Ginny, and Dean. That is new information to present to her, his feelings in the situation. Anyway, thats all I have to say about the story itself, but if you want to improve your writing I'd suggest reading more poetry and trying out forms like Haiku. I especially suggest reading poems like "The Red Wheelbarrow," or anything else William Carlos Williams did, and then trying to both understand what makes it/his poems so poignant, and cut your own words and ideas down to their essentials. It'll put you more in touch with the real thoughts, focuses, and emotions of your characters and words. Keep it up, you have potential to write beautifully, RanAuthor's Response: Oh thank you so much for reviewing! Thanks to you my writing will get better, I will make these corrections soon. I promise and again thanks for reviewing! Report Review
hehe. good job! 10/10! harry and ginny are the perfect couple. :)
-xoxo, rowenaravenclaw94Author's Response: Thank you! It truly means a lot cause these are my first stories. I also really liked your stories. Your stories helped me become more of a fan of Draco/Hermione! Thanks for reviewing. You are awesome! Report Review
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