Reading Reviews for The Joker and Her
800 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Letheliah Epilogue

12th December 2016:
Thank you for creating a lovely character and story to share with us. :)
I very much liked the last couple of chapters, it really added the intrigue I was looking for in the story. Admittedly, for me personally, the story dragged as I was expecting more mystery and sleuthing than Brienne's self-care and the overall drama which is not what I usually read.
That being said I adore the Angelina x Brienne relationship you've created so much so your Angie stole my heart the moment she gifted her necklace to Brienne. I truly look forward to seeing more of their friendship in the next fic, and hope that it doesn't get pushed away entirely in favor of romantic drama.
George and Brienne's attempts at romance and initiating a relationship are hilarious and painfully real! Oh my goodness, Brienne's experiences seriously take me back to my first kiss and boyfriend and just how incredibly AWKWARD I was haha! It's so incredibly sweet and I look forward to more light-hearted George banter towards Bree. I hope she can work up the courage to flirt back one day! xD
Thank you again for this fic, it's lovely. :)

Author's Response: Hi! :) Thanks again for reviewing.

This story is very, very much a slow burner xD Things will start to pick up in the next installment.

Angie is a great friend to Brienne :) I'm not really in favour of everything being obscured by romance so we'll definitely see more of their frendship!

Haha, I didn't want George/Brienne to have a typical 'will they won't they' thing, I really like having them realistically awkward xD

Thank you so much!

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Review #2, by LettingYouKnow Epilogue

2nd October 2014:
Great story. Just thought I should let you know - and mind you, I don't know which version was published first - but there is a Sirius/OC story that has large portions completely identical to this story. Just making sure you're aware!

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing and for letting me know about this plagiarism! Do you know what the story is called? The "author" or even the site would help! I can stress that yes this story definitely came first! Thanks again and apologies for taking so long to get back to you.

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Review #3, by BellaLestrange87 The Dementors on the Train.

6th August 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Review Tag!

This is a good start. As someone who has lost people I'm close to, I know what grief feels like, and you captured it perfectly here. Luna is perfectly characterized, and I can see her talking about 'Cloaked Farnzies'. (I had to actually look it up to see if it was canon.)

I like the way that you imply that it's Harry's third year - introducing Lupin as an ordinary student would see him, and the Dementors on the train.

Already I'm drawing parallels between Luna and Brienne. They both lost their mothers at a young age, Luna's mother experimenting with spells, and as of this chapter we don't know how Mrs. Christie died. Maybe that's something that will bring them together?

Another thing that I like is the way you introduced Hogwarts as someone from Beauxbatons (other than Fleur) would see it. I didn't see any glaring spelling or grammatical errors either, so that's good! (I'm a nitpicker in terms of those). Overall, 8/10!

Author's Response: Hi! Wow, thanks very much! You're my 800th reviewer!
I'm glad you think her grief was written well and is realistic. That's very important to me.
So is spelling and grammar, so thank you!
Thanks again for such a lovely review :)

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Review #4, by Lululuna The Wind and the Warm

4th May 2014:
Hello! :) I'm here for your very late (not too surprisingly late :P) requested review!

I really liked this chapter and how it showed a combination of Brienne's Hogwarts interactions with her friends, but also how her grief and new knowledge is impacting her.

I really love how you spend time detailing the difficulties of everyday student life in this story, like how busy Brienne is with homework. I also really like how Brienne defends Snape and thinks that he is a fair marker, since it shows how the Gryffindors/Weasleys might be a little bias against him despite his nastiness. I also like how she's good at Potions but still does have to work and study hard to get results, it makes her more relatable.

Something which has kind of struck me is how Brienne doesn't seem to speak/think about French very often. Is it different for her to go from a school entirely in French to learning in English, and would it be difficult for her to adjust to reading/writing? I was in French immersion for most of my life and switching to English in high school was quite difficult, especially in math and science, so I'm just wondering if that has any impact on her - I feel like especially the written components of school might vary from Beauxbatons. :)

At times like those, the walls of Hogwarts -- magical and stone, invisible and tangible -- seemed thinner and as delicate as a sheet of ice. I really loved this line, it was so beautifully written and a lovely transition into the moment in the outdoors when Brienne lets herself go here. It really shows how despite Hogwarts being a safe haven like it is for Harry, it can't protect Brienne forever, just like her mother couldn't save herself for Brienne's sake.

I feel sorry for Brienne and how she's so embarrased and confused about the kiss, but it does seem natural. She doesn't have extremely high self esteem from what I can tell, so it's natural that she might doubt George's intentions and even think that he's making light of the situation. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens in the future, though for now I think they do very nicely as close friends - perhaps Brienne isn't quite at that place where she should throw a relationship into the mix, but George will always be there no matter what.

The moment where they go out to find her is so sweet, and I loved how George and Angelina sort of appeared out of the darkness for her, and brought her back down to earth. Brienne really is luckier than she realizes to have such supportive friends.

As for the ending, I did find the line about She would not lie a little unclear. I understand it means that she didn't want to lie to them so she just wouldn't say anything, but it was a little misleading as I thought it might mean she was going to confess everything and not lie. But maybe something like "She would not lie, but she wasn't ready to tell the truth" would be a little clearer, but it's up to you of course! :)

Wonderful chapter! :D

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing, don't worry about the wait xD

Brienne secretly likes Snape a bit- or at least she respects him as the teacher of her favourite subject and she won't tolerate anyone being mean about him xD

Thanks for saying about the French! Brienne spoke French and English alternately throughout her life, but now is speaking only English. I think she may associate speaking French with her mother so that might be why she doesn't think in it or speak in it more often- but thanks for pointing it out, it does make more sense for it to be ackknowledged xD

She's at a very vulnerable state in her life, she doesn't want to tell her friends but at the same time can't handle the information on her own. Your pointer there makes a lot of sense, thanks :)

Thanks for the lovely review!

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Review #5, by Lululuna Back Again

17th February 2014:
Hi again! :)

This was such a great chapter, and a breath of fresh air after the fear and stress that Brienne has been dealing with. I'm really impressed at how well you capture that feeling of leaving home, and of coming back to school. I'm not quite sure just how you do it but I really could relate to Brienne in her mixed feelings of being sad to say bye to her dad and her house but excitement about getting to see her friends and be safe at Hogwarts again.

The goodbye between Douglas and Brienne and how concerned and loving they are was really sweet. I love their father-daughter relationship, and how he babies her a little and she's aware of it, but okay with it as well. I love how Brienne is so happy to spend so much time with her father and really appreciates him. And then there were the little reminders of her mother which I liked as well, such as how she keeps both her wand and her mother's with her.

She was too young for this. She wanted to be tucked into her bed and told that everything was going to be all right. This is so understandable. Poor Brienne, she really doesn't deserve any of this.

Paisley is a really great character, and I love how light-hearted and fun she is and how the two girls just click and get along so flawlessly. As always I like the details of the Christmas gifts, like how Paisley's parents were confused about the dress robes as well. :P

Amy is lovely too, I found it quite funny how clumsy she is but how she's quite open with the older girls. The fact that she almost fell into the lake on her first day is really funny but a little terrifying - ahem, Dumbledore, where are the lifejackets?!!

I'm excited to find out what happens with George, and to see all of Brienne's other friends again. Great chapter, as usual, I loved it. This story is so well-written and brilliant. ♥

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry it took so long to respond to this!

Brienne really loves her Dad; as much as she misses her Mum she's really a Daddy's girl.

I like Paisley too! She's the most easygoing of Brienne's friends and she's a Hufflepuff so she isn't taken along so much with the twins' antics.

Thank you so much for the lovely review!

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Review #6, by Lululuna Reeling

17th February 2014:
Hello! :) I'm sorry for taking so long to get here, I've been so distracted with requested reviews these days. :(

This was such a beautiful and tragic chapter and I really like how you dedicated it to Brienne's confusion and reeling emotions. She's just discovered a terrifying thing which changes the way she thinks about herself and her own future, as well as bringing up all the pain over losing her mother, and I think you've written it beautifully.

The image of not being able to breathe and having the air trapped in her throat was very powerful. As usual, I like the detail you've gone into, talking about how awful she looks on the outside - as is natural after having a shock and vomiting - and how she ties up her hair and everything. Something I really appreciate about your writing is how realistic and unglamourized the characters are - I feel like Brienne might have been somebody I knew at school, and all her actions and thoughts are very relatable.

What acts of evil could she ever have committed in order to deserve having her mother taken from her and then be pursued herself? This just broke my heart as it is so unfair and wrong that she should have to go through something like this. She hasn't hurt anybody and she's facing these demons, and I think her sense of the unfairness of the situation is really realistic.

I can't decide whether it was right or not for her father not to tell her. I can see why he wants to protect her but at the same time she deserves to know, just as Harry deserved to know about Sirius (except I'm pretty sure this person actually is after Brienne, unlike Sirius! :P). Their situations are quite similar, in fact.

I love how it took the shock of the discovery for Brienne to admit her feelings for George. It makes sense: when facing her own life being in danger, the little things like denying her crush on him before less important, and she realizes that she needs his support. I like how slow their relationship moves, however: she needed time to recover from the death of her mother and find her own place in Hogwarts before jumping into having a boyfriend. I think their friendship is so strong as well.

I like how so much of the chapter involves Brienne questioning herself and the killer, and what this means for her life. It's so natural and feels very right. The ending was just so lovely as well, I loved the image of her drawing comfort from the wand.

A lovely and heartbreaking chapter in recoiling in the exciting events of the last one! :) Well done!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you very much for coming back and reviewing xD

I'm glad you liked this chapter- it was important to just lay out exactly how Brienne was feeling.

Brienne's father's decision was supposed to be divisive- some would have told Brienne, some disagree, but I think it's totally Douglas to think of his daughter's emotional welfare before anything else.

Thank you again for the lovely review!

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Review #7, by academica Quidditch Practice

15th February 2014:
Hello, here from Review Tag :)

This chapter had a nice, easy pace to it. I liked seeing Brienne embrace her new life at Hogwarts. Clearly she doesn't share many of the same interests with her new friends, but it was good to see them include her all the same. Hopefully that helps ease the pain of losing her mother. It seems like the group has a lot of fun together.

One thing that seemed a little off to me was the very end. One minute Brienne was having fun, and then she was curled up in bed crying. I get why the change might have occurred--missing her mother, not wanting to be alone, something like that. But the transition seemed a bit abrupt. You might add a sentence to bridge that gap and explain why Brienne's mood has changed.

Great work!


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you very much for the review!

I'm glad you liked the pace of this chapter and that they seem to have a good dynamic. Brienne doesn't really have a lot of common interests with them but their personalities do bounce off one another xD

Her crying jag at the end is about guilt- I know that those who are grieving often feel incredibly guilty if they start to feel happy and have a good time, especially if they feel it's 'too soon.' I'll try and make that more apparent in the chapter XD

Thank you again!

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Review #8, by patronus_charm Draught of Peace

11th January 2014:
Hey, here with your review!

Even though this chapter was a really short one I felt as if I learnt from it such as Brienneís daily life at Hogwarts and what she gets up to and I really enjoyed the normalcy of it all because sometimes the craziness can be a little overwhelming :P

I thought it was really interesting that you made Potions one of her favourite lessons and though you could tell that she disliked Snape for the obvious reasons there was the same level of antipathy that you tend to see towards him, and I really liked that change. Speaking a little more of Snape, I really enjoyed your characterisation of him and felt that you wrote him really well with the drawling and the way he was disappointed in the potion as it was just so him. It was funny to see him have a slightly milder form of evil given that she wasnít Harry and all.

Even though Fred and George only had a major role towards the end I really enjoyed them here and they had me chuckling away with all their potion antics. I think my favourite line has to go to Fred who complained about Snape not liking him because he was getting good at potions, as that was just so like him.

I really liked how you built up a quiet sense of foreboding in regards to it being Halloween. It wasnít directly stated but I could see it lurking away there and that was really great. What was also great was the comment about Angelina not minding sitting next to Fred and I really liked how you included that romance too because it was always so sweet and then Fred doesnít have to feel left out with Brienne having George. :P

The only CC is that you had a couple of formatting issues with some paragraphs being clumped together and others having a big gap but that was something really minor so donít worry too much! That was a really great chapter :D


Author's Response: Hi! Sorry it took me a while to respond!

I'm glad you liked the way I wrote Snape, as he isn't the easiest of characters to write xD

I like that Brienne's favourite lesson is Potions, as it's generally something that not a lot of characters seem to like and that doesn't make a lot of sense to me xD I would love Potions! Sans Snape, of course.

Thanks for letting me know about the formatting, I'll fix that!

Thank you for the review!

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Review #9, by Lululuna The Investigation

9th January 2014:
Hi! :) I'm so sorry for being so late with this review! :(

I really loved this chapter, it was so illuminating and gets the mystery going in full force. The suspense which the story ended on was very chilling as well. This really adds an even more sinister and dangerous element to the story, and it's brilliant how all the plots and levels of enemies are woven together.

As usual, I love the little details threaded through the story. Reading this always makes me hungry, even though I'm still recovering from Christmas festivities. You got that feeling of having leftovers after the big feast just right, I loved all the descriptions of their meals. Another fantastic detail was talking about the ingredients Brienne was using for her potion practice, I have no idea how you came up with the idea of albino squirrel hair and what it does but it was awesome. Little things, like Stanley's grey socks, also enriched the story.

I like how Stanley's wife was Dorcas, that's a great tie-in to canon. The descriptions of the picture of Bri and Paul when they were younger was really adorable, and sets him up well to appear later in the story. The descriptions of how close Stanley and Bri's father are were great, and I love their little bromance and how long they've been friends for.

The investigation into Brienne's mother's death were so intriguing, I'm so curious to find out the truth! It was really sweet to hear how her mother was trying to protect her daughter by erasing any sign of her, and how those were her last actions. It reminded me a little of Dumbledore stunning Harry at the end of HBP instead of defending himself, that sort of protective instinct which overcomes personal protection. And then what she hears at the end is so chilling, ah, I hope she's going to be alright! The idea of somebody coming after her is terrifying, I don't blame Brienne at all for wishing she'd never heard it. It's a bit like Harry and the Sirius Black situation (well, not really, but nobody knows that Sirius is good yet), and I feel like I wish Brienne and Harry were friends as they might understand how the other is feeling.

The one thing which didn't seem to fit quite right was the idea of them knowing a picture was missing because there were marks in the dust- would the house really have been dusty if Zephyrine was still living there? And wouldn't her suitcase have been really heavy (though she was a witch I suppose!) What if there were five empty or broken picture frames instead of empty spaces- it might be a little more realistic. :) But then again leaving empty frames might be suspicious as well, so maybe not! :P Personally I think Zephyrine should have just destroyed the pictures, but maybe she wanted to keep them to remind her of her daughter for wherever she was going. Just a little detail, but something to think about which might make the mystery even clearer! :)

I really like the idea of the murderer being someone her mother knew about and was anticipating, by the way! It fits really well with why someone would target her, and I'm excited to hear more about her past! :)

Wonderful chapter! :D

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry I was late to respond to this!

I'm really glad you liked most of the details om the investigation- I will think about what you said about the photos, and it does make a lot of sense for the frames to still be there.

Whether or not Paul will appear in the future is to be seen xD

Thank you very much for this lovely review!

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Review #10, by patronus_charm Paisley Hamilton

29th December 2013:
I am so, so sorry for the wait for this review! Getting caught up in Christmas meant that my review requests went quite forgotten these past two weeks! I hope this is still of use to you. :)

I found Brienneís views towards Divination really interesting. I never really thought about how traumatising it would be for her given that she would have to relieve her motherís death in nearly every lesson given how morbid Trelawney is, and I really liked that you explored that aspect of it. Lots of authors just brush off parentsí deaths but I liked the fact it continues to trouble Brienne as itís a lot more realistic that way.

You might want to look at the punctuation you use and how it affects the flow of the sentence such as here ĎAs the training sessions shifted from morning to evening -- When it was warmer in the October breeze -- Brienne foundí the when should be lowercase as itís not a separate sentence, then instead of using Ė which is rather distracting, perhaps replace them with a comma which is less obvious. Little things such as that really help improve the flow of writing and general quality of the chapter.

Just a minor note on the tarot cards. All the cards that Brienne had were Major Arcana ones, though usually when you deal them out you will always have a Minor given that they are most of the deck and they tend to be the majority of the hand due to them having less definitive meanings. Itís just a very minor point but as a fan of tarot cards, I thought I ought to point it out for future reference.

I liked the introduction of another OC thought Iím not quite sure what to make of Paisley. She seems nice, a little probing with her questions if anything, though I have feeling that there might be something lurking there. I donít know what, itís probably just paranoia but I will keep my eye on her. I liked her introduction on the whole though due to the confusion surrounding her.

I really liked the dream sequence at the end as it introduced a new element into the story which was really interesting. I really felt for Brienne not being able to escape the horrors of the world even in her sleep but I hope there is some peace for her soon.

A very interesting chapter!


Author's Response: Hi!

Wow, I've never had anybody review this chapter who knew stuff about tarot cards! xD I did do some of research when writing this but obviously I'm no expert. Thank you for pointing this thing out!

Paisley does appear a lot more in the future!

Thanks for saying about the punctuation, the whole commas vs hyphens thing really bugs me so thanks for that xD

Thank you for the lovely review!

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Review #11, by Lululuna Christmas

21st December 2013:
Hello! :) I'm here for your review, finally, and I'm so sorry it took this long :(

But I really loved this chapter and it was especially perfect to be reading and reviewing it at Christmastime. I love all the descriptions of the Christmas ornaments and food- the angel on the tree who was fixing her hair was a great touch. There's so much room for creativity with holiday things in the magical world and you did a great job bringing that to life, as per usual. :)

I really enjoyed hearing about all the gifts as well. The chocolate box sounds amazing- I would love to have something like that! I really liked how thoughtful and detailed everything was, like how she had to send Serge early for the girls' gifts. Receiving her mother's wand was an interesting touch and I wonder if it will come into importance in the future. I liked the details about the wand, like how they're usually buried with the witch, and how attached Bri was to seeing it since it has so many memories. It makes sense how for wizards, wands are a part of you! The idea of the wand recognizing Brienne was very sweet as well, and a creative way of showing how important her mother was.

Brienne's letter from George was so adorable! I'm always impressed at how you write the twins so in character, even if they're just speaking through a letter. Brienne's confusion is just adorable, and it's very entertaining watching her and George wonder how they feel about each other. To be fair they are very young and innocent in these things, but it makes me giggle whenever Brienne is so confused about it like with the letter.

Nyx just sounds adorable! I loved how her dad knew to get her a little one which could bond with her since she's nervous around most other owls. Learning about Ancient Magic at Beauxbatons sounds amazing too- I'd be quite jealous if I went to Hogwarts!

Also- I was wondering why Douglas waited all day to show her Nyx if he was already up there? It works either way, but I'm sure there could be some fun with Nyx zooming around and playing with the wrapping paper in the morning. :P

Ah, how you inspire me with the descriptions of food! I really wish I was there for their Christmas dinner because after reading this I could basically smell the gravy on the Yorkshire pudding, taste the turkey... thank Merlin my Christmas dinner is coming up in a few days! :P I really don't know how you manage to bring the food to life in these ways and make the story so detailed- it's a real joy to read. :)

I'm sorry for taking so long again, I promise to be better next time! :D I love this story and really enjoy reviewing it! Brilliant chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Don't worry about it at all, thank you for the lovely review!

Haha, I love writing about food! I love eating food! Fod! xD

I wanted Nyx to be an owl that was just so unscary Brienne couldn't possibly worry about it attacking her. Thanks for saying about Nyx only being shown to her in the night, I guess he didn't want Brienne to be training Nyx all day rather than spending time with him, or her other presents :D

Thank you for the amazing review!

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Review #12, by patronus_charm Quidditch Practice

15th December 2013:
Hi, here with your review!

I really liked the inclusion of Quidditch into the story because it had always been one of my favourite aspects of Harry Potter and given that it was such a big part of the twins lives it was a good choice. Plus, we got to meet all of the Quidditch lot and I canít wait to see how those relationships develop. I do hope that Fred and Angelina get together because they would be very cute!

One suggestion for the Quidditch scenes is perhaps extend them a little. They are rather small and we didnít always get the full feel of them so perhaps if you have some description of Brienne trying to understand why they were hitting a Bludger or Katie and Alicia laughing with one another it would make it feel more alive. This could be padded out further with more dialogue if you preferred to do that too.

Iím really glad that Brienne has some girl friends now because they can discuss things such as she and George. Gah, I was just gushing so much throughout that conversation when they were trying to get her to admit her feelings for him. It was just so perfect and it made me want she and George to happen even sooner because they are so cute and perfect and yeah.

Throughout the story youíve slipped into the passive tense a little too many times. Like here ĎShe was pulling a thick coatí you could use she pulled instead which makes the subject of the verb a lot clearer and makes for a cleaner and smoother read. Essentially, all you need to do to eliminate this is by checking when you need to use the verb to be e.g. I am/you are/he is eating or whether I eat could be used instead as it makes for a better read.

Great chapter!


Author's Response: Hi!

Fred and Angelina are adorable!

It's a good idea to pad out the Quidditch scene a little, so thank for pointing that out xD

Angelina will become a very good friend of Brienne's xD Everybody needs a girl friend!

Thanks for the pointer with the tenses, I really suck at that! Thank you!

Thank you for this great review!

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Review #13, by SilentConfession Epilogue

12th December 2013:

I can't believe this is the end of this story! Mental! So much has happened here!

To answer your question of whether this works as an epilogue I'd have to say yes! It's intriguing and it's clearly setting the story up for another story. Which is super exciting. I think that's the best bit you've done with this is make the reader wish for more. I also think you've added so much action and interest with this one chapter that really do help this whole story seem like the beginning of a very large story. Another thing this has done is tie up some lose ends. Some really important lose ends as well that give this story a feeling of some closure. What I mean by this is that we've learned the killer of the mum and we've learn some about the motivation. Or, at the very least, we can make guesses at the motivation of the murder. Was it a spurned lover? For revenge? Why does she need to wipe away every last memory of the mother? Or did the mother find out something that they think Brienne knows? Whatever the case, we've learned a bit more about the murder which makes the plot seem a lot fuller and I can connect to it even more as it has left me thinking.

It is confusing to follow. But that is only because these are completely new characters (i think, unless we've met a few of them before, i was toying with Paul for a bit there, but decided against him being the visitor) and it was in a whole new setting. That does throw the flow of the story a little, but not in a bad way, it just gives us another curveball to try and sort out. I think it works to have the new characters and new setting because it adds to everything we've learned about the situation so far.

Not only that, but the characters are very distinct. The woman feels threatening and cruel which I like and there is this tone of malice in every word that she says. I think you really characterized her well and I wonder what she and this visitor are to one another?? Has the visitor been to Hogwarts before? If he has, why hasn't Brienne noticed another French man at the school? I know when i've been in new places and even if they are quite big, I always seem to be able to spot out someone who is from my own culture fairly quickly. It's like we group together.

Overall, i thought this was an excellent last chapter and i'm really glad I was able to review this story. You've done a really nice job at setting out the pieces for a large mystery story. Great job Illuminate!

Author's Response: Hi! Wow, what a lovely review xD

I'm glad you think the characters are distinct- I definetely didn't want them to just blend into each other.

Thank you for saying it's intriguing and works as an epilogue, I really didn't want it to be just vague and weird. I'm glad it's making you think!

Thank you for the review, it made my day!

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Review #14, by patronus_charm My Mother

11th December 2013:
I can make up for my lateness of the last review with the speed of this one :P

I really loved the twins growing friendship with Brienne! Itís so sweet and cute how theyíve sort of made her become friends her, but then they seem to be a good mix as they open her up more and she makes them more serious at times. I really canít wait to see how their friendship develops because youíve already got it off to a great start.

Yay! We get to learn more about her parents! I really like how youíre gradually revealing the mystery of them which is a really nice technique to do to keep the suspense up. I canít help but wonder who killed her mother and why she doesnít really refer to her father all that much, Iím sure thereís a great excuse behind it though.

Here Ďobvious questions were "Who?" and "Why?" Ď I would just put who and why and a question mark at the end, because the speech marks arenít all that necessary and distract more than help.

Ah George and Brienne were so cute ♥ Seriously Fred, why did you have to come in and ruin it all? I really enjoyed that moment because it was so heart felt and made me gush so much. Even though itís only chapter four Iím so excited for these two!

At times, you repeat their names quite a lot so it comes a little repetitive. Perhaps if you replaced Brienne with she from time to time to change it up a little. Obviously, as the twins are both boys itís a little harder, but if thereís only one present it should be fine.

I really loved finding out more about her mother and how she ended up in England. I really feel for Brienne because her grief and raw emotion of her mother is so true I just want to hug because it must be horrible for her. The ending scene with the patronus was truly touching!

I did notice a few run on sentences in this chapter such as here ĎAfter arriving at most of her lessons and finding Fred and George Weasley beckoning her over to their table, she appeared to have no choice but to become friends with them, and had quickly gotten used to their hyperactive and mischievous banter.í To combat this, I would suggest perhaps breaking it up into two sentences. One ideal place would be after them and then replace the and with she and it should be fine. Itís mainly just to make reading easier for the reader so itís not one big blur. Theyíre rather easy to fix so donít worry too much about it!

Great chapter, feel free to re-request!


Author's Response: Hi! I'm really glad I got your opinion on this chapter as I think this chapter is probably one of the weakest of them all.

I'm glad you think the characterisations are going well, I really want those to be perfect.

Thanks for pointing out the run-on sentences and character tags, I will go through there and work on those :) Thank you!

Thank you for the lovely review!

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Review #15, by adluvshp Paisley Hamilton

8th December 2013:
Hey! Here for review tag!

I am glad I got a chance to come back to this story. It is getting more and more interesting. I loved how you made use of Divination to reveal certain things and sort of foreshadow the story, so cool xD I am excited to see how Brienne progresses her relationship with George. And of course the mystery surrounding her mother's death. The introduction of the new character, Paisley, was also nicely done and I hope to see more of her in future chapters as well.

So far, the story is going beautifully and I'm very interested to know what happens next. Your plot is strong, good grammar, nicely developed characters, and great flow, so keep it up!

I hope to come back for the next chapter soon!


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the lovely things you've said, I'm so glad you believe that the characters are developed well and that my plot is strong :) That made my day!

I'm also glad you like Paisley, she certainly apppears again in the future!

Thank you again for the lovely review!

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Review #16, by patronus_charm Lupin's Welcome

8th December 2013:
Hi, here with your review (sorry for the wait by the way)!

I liked finding out more about Brienneís character in this chapter. She seemed to have this shyness about her with the way she was looking out for Luna and how she sought for warmth with McGonagall and that was a nice touch, and it was good to see that youíre still reminding the reader she is new to the school and therefore unused to how things are run here.

Her first interaction with the twins was really great, and of course they would tease her! The piece of foreshadowing with them both thinking that she loved them was another nice addition and the banter between the twins and Brienneís disapproving gaze over them sets them up nicely for future chapters.

One minor note of the scene after that and then later on in Defence class, is that it felt too much that you were telling us what happened rather than showing us. Like when the twins were sort of following her there and then making them sit in that row, what might be a better idea is express Brienneís embarrassment through other means such as her blushing and perhaps her palms sweating as it will make the experience for the reader a whole lot more real, than how it currently is.

I thought you caught Lupinís character well and it was funny to juxtapose their fifth year defence lessons with Harryís where they had to sit there and read all the time. I felt even sorrier for him after seeing what fun they had there.

One CC in regards to Lupin is when he approached Brienne and began speaking to her. The whole part about knowing her parents, missing them and then saying she looked like her mother felt too much like his conversation with Harry about his parents. I would perhaps change his reactions a little and maybe reference how he knew her parents so it doesnít feel too samey.

Other than that, I really enjoyed this chapter and it will be interesting to see how the story develops from here!


Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you're liking Brienne's character and think her transition to the school is realistic, and I'll try to illlustrate her embarrassment a little better :)

I'm also glad you think I wrote Lupin's character well, though thanks for pointing out about the conversation between him and Brienne- I'll go through that :)

Thank you very much for your lovely review!

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Review #17, by Cannons The Storm

28th November 2013:
Review Tag.

I absolutely love the way you move the story along and give us the sense of what it's like to just be at Hogwarts and going to lessons and eating in thr Great Hall. Some of my favourite moments are just the everyday things that happen at Hogwarts.

You do a great job with the twins characterisations, keeping them twins and together but giving each one a distinct personality.

I would really love to know more about her at this point but I'm sure I'll find that out soon in future chapters.

You also did a great job of retelling the Quidditch match and the lead up to it, including the important details like that their facing Hufflepuff instead of Slytherin.

Also her friend from Hufflepuff seems very Hufflepuff-y.


Author's Response: Hi! I'm really glad you like this chapter!

Writing the Twins is very important to me so I really want to do them properly xD I'm glad you like them!

Thank you again!

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Review #18, by patronus_charm Sorting

27th November 2013:
Ooh I feel honoured getting the 800th review for this! I was also glad that you requested a review as I did enjoy the first chapter so it will be nice to read some more. :)

I rather liked your descriptions of Hogwarts here. Admittedly, at times they were a little samey but there is a very limited scope to witness new things, so donít worry about it at all. What I did like about it though were Brienneís comparisons with Beauxbatons. It was rather interesting to read them because we always heard the negative comparisons from Fleur, but these seemed to be more open.

The references to Brienneís isolation and loneliness really tugged at my heart. Poor her all alone in the boat and then hoping to be with Luna so she knew someone. I thought you caught her sense of yearning for company really well, and it was highlighted especially well when she was with the first years and they were all becoming friends and she was just there as a witness instead.

Iím intrigued to find out how she fits into Gryffindor. I can obviously tell she has bravery and courage for joining Hogwarts and not knowing a single person, it will just be nice to explore that in different areas too. The mention towards her father being a Hufflepuff was great as well. I canít wait to find out more about him because even if it was only a brief mention of him there seemed to be tension lurking there with her preference for her mother so the suspense was kept up well.

A few tiny grammar things. Here Ďbut what house? What one?"í it should be which house, which one. :)Then here, Ďand along with the black Forestí forest doesnít need to be capitalised as itís just a generalised one rather than one with a name here.

I liked this chapter as it set the scene well for Brienneís time at Hogwarts and what will happen next. :)


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for giving me the 800th review xD

Thanks for saying about the Hogwarts descriptions, as long as they're not too samey then I'm OK. And thanks for pointing out those grammar mistakes, I'll fix those :)

Brienne is definitely a Gryffindor at heart, but like Hermione and Neville it can take certain circumstances to draw it out :)

Thank you very much for the lovely review!

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Review #19, by toomanycurls Lupin's Welcome

14th November 2013:
Hi!! I'm back to see how Brienne is doing with school. :D

I like that Brienne got a bit starstruck at seeing Harry. I forget how famous he was to other people.

Oh gosh, finding her way through the moving labrynth of a school would be difficult/impossible on her own. I'm so glad she ran into Fred and George. I like that George is a bit more outgoing than Fred here.

ahaha, I can't blame Brienne at being a bit overwhelmed by the twins' overt-flirting and flamboyance. I'd be quite overwhelmed by them!

Lupin's class sounds incredible - educational and practical. I like that he gives each student feedback on their wandwork. Aw, poor Brienne. I'm sure being asked about her parents right off the bat couldn't have been easy. I'm a bit miffed at Lupin fr doing that too.

:D now for a sweet, awww, George waited for her.


Author's Response: Hi! Welcome back :)

Lupin always sounded like the best teacher ever, so I wanted his lesson to be fun but still effective xD

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and Fred and George xD

Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #20, by Rumpelstiltskin The Dementors on the Train.

14th November 2013:
I am here from review tag.

I kind of loved that the very first person that Brienne met on the train was Luna. In a way it was perfect for, as you wrote, Luna (very much in her cannon, thank you) did not feel the need to press her for information, making Brienne feel more comfortable. I think that it was realistic, Brienne not having to spill her life story in this chapter, as she is just beginning to meet people (by people I mean Luna, Draco, and some Dementors :p)

Speaking of Dementors-does this mean that this is set during PoA? Horray! That is my FAVORITE book (but don't tell the other ones that)! I am now very interested to see what Brienne is going to be up to during this year.

Ah, first chapters always kill me because I want to read MORE! That being said, I'm putting this on my reading list. It would go under currently I'm already neglecting those stories and need to get caught up. Once I get caught up, I will work on continuing this. Or maybe I'll catch the next chapter if I tag you again first. We shall see!

Until then,

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you very much for reviewing, I'm very glad you liked his first chapter :)

Yes, this is set during PoA! It's one of my favourites too xD

Thank you again, and I hope you enjoy the rest if you get around to it :)

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Review #21, by AlexFan Lupin's Welcome

9th November 2013:
I've finally gotten a chance to read another chapter of this!

I really like Fred and George, I think they're one of the easiest characters to write because they're so easygoing so obviously you nailed their characterization.

I love how they welcomed Brienne, they barely know her and they're already pulling her into their circle of friends and welcoming her. It seems exactly like something Fred and George or what any other Weasley would do.

But anyway, really interesting chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for this lovely review! I'm glad you think I wrote F&G properly, I wanted to get that right because obviously they are a big part of my story :)

I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thank you again!

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Review #22, by Cannons Hallowe'en

26th October 2013:
Review Tag ( I would have reviewed it anyway!)

Your description of Halloween at Hogwarts was brilliant and made me wish I was there. The food sounded lovely as well. Lamb with mint sauce! mmm.

You also incorporated the PoA bit in nicely not overdoing or exaggerating it.

Fred and George went missing, where did they go! :o

I like the way you keep referencing the cards, very ominous. another nice chapter and I am really enjoying this thus far ;)

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you came back!

Thank you very much for reviewing again! Fred and George didn't do anything, they just kept behind that's all xD

Thank you again!

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Review #23, by Cannons Draught of Peace

24th October 2013:
*knocks quietly*

I'm back for one last chapter before I go to bed!
I'm really getting into this now. :)

Can't wait for some Brienne/George/fred relationship stuff!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you very much for your review! :) I'm glad you're liking it, hope you're back soon!

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Review #24, by Cannons Paisley Hamilton

24th October 2013:
Last one for the moment don't want to read it all in one go!

This was a great chapter and I'm sure that the cards are an indication of what is to come!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the lovely reviews, and I hope you continue to review if you continue! :D

The cards are very illuminating about Brienne and her character :)

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Review #25, by Cannons Quidditch Practice

24th October 2013:
heya, sick of me yet?

your chapter are just so clickable, you know? I just want to keep reading. It's nice how she doesn't care for Quidditch but does so to support her friends. I liked how you have her some more friends, especially in Angelina and how they were quizzing her about George, it was nice to see her laugh but the she went and cried :'(

Author's Response: Hi! Not sick of you at all, these reviews are just a lovely compliment and they have made my day :)

Brienne is very considerate indeed xD A very important quality!

Angelina will become one of her closest friends. Thank you again for reviewing!

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