Very nicely written.
I think you did a great job, even though I hate Draco/Hermione.
The only thing I can think of to suggest would be this: if you are trying to convey an atmosphere of suspense up until the very end (which I assume you are since you don't say his name until the last paragraph), then I would take out the word "blonde" in the second to last paragraph. You could just have it say something like, "...it was hard not to notice that hair of his," because most people would then naturally assume it was Ron (insane Weasley hair, and all that). Then it could really be a twist.
That's the only thing I can think of to say. The story was great. Fantastic writing. I enjoyed it. :) Report Review
That was good but confusing I never knew who each 'he' was. The last line kinda ruined it for me :) Report Review
Interesting fic you have here. I like the part of keeping the suspense until the very end. Just one comment. You might want to delete the parings on the title page, for it kinds of give away the surprise. You don't HAVE to list pairings.
Nicely writtenAuthor's Response: Took off the pairings. Thanks for the review! Report Review
for a R/Hr shipper it wasn't the best thing to read (even though I understand you wanting to be tricky)Author's Response: Alright I took off all the pairings so everyone can be happy. Report Review
Oooh, that was a twist! Good job making it seem like Ron; I never would have guessed! I liked it; you got a lot of good information for a one-shot, that leaves you feeling complete with just the one chapter.Author's Response: I'm glad you couldn't guess...I tried really hard to make it like that but I wasn't sure how it worked out. Thanks! Report Review
oh boy. Clever clever. Didn't see that coming. I liked it very much so (: Report Review
Pairings: Ron/Hermione, Draco/Hermione
How's there Ron/Hermione in this?Author's Response: I was trying to be tricky and make you think maybe she was marrying Ron =/ Report Review
Wow, that was a really sweet story. The writing style was really good, especially for fan fiction. Are you going to tell any of the back story, or was it just a one shot?Author's Response: Thanks! I think I'm going to keep it at just a one shot unless others really want a back story... Report Review
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