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15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ladyspirit The Dream

31st March 2004:
hey! ok rynn asked me to read and review this am only at the end of chap 2 but so far I think it's really good (I'd read more but i'm just back from kickboxing and completely shattered... plus the nerves in my hand have went funny and dey is shaken like a polaroid picture... i don't think it's healthy :s) one thing though I think you should try and go into more detail from now on, I mean the first chapter was really good but it all happened really quickly and you didn't really give the reader (namely me) a chance to get to know your character, apart from the big introduction in which she seemed more or less perfect- but hey what the hell I'd love to be perfect =) N e hoo so far da grammer seems really excellent, but I'm not great at grammer myself so you'd have to get someone else to check it out, and I haven't seen n e spelling mistakes but yet again I'm not excellent at spelling either so *shrugs* I love that Draco was all muscular and buff and stuff but make sure you stick to his origional character, you didn't stray far from it but you know *shrugs again* and Hagrid, you got him just right the way he spoke to vannessa and all that was really good but his scottish accent was a bit weird. meh. Well I think all in all it was amazing and you have truck loads of potential, i really think this fic could go far. Well done!! Love Peri-Jay

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Review #2, by demongurl Like a Coconut

26th March 2004:
Oh yeah, and there are a few terms you're getting a bit wrong. In England we don't say Trimester (i don't even know what it means) we say term, there's three terms in a year so, just thought i'd tell you that cause it bugs me when people don't get the English words of saying things, people always use American words

Author's Response: Hey, Thanx for reviewing. A trimester is having 3 terms per year. I don't think American ppl use it either cause when i go to the states, ppl there use semesters and they have no clue what a trimester is. I guess it's a Saudi thing, lol. Yeah... I use American words because umm... I don't know many English words, but i'll try to put some in context. Thanx again. ~*JAY*~

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Review #3, by demongurl Like a Coconut

26th March 2004:
Heya, this story was recommended to me by one of my reviewers, it's a bit in your face and quite a bit of swearing but it's really good, keep writing i think it'll turn out great.

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Review #4, by Rynn Like a Coconut

26th March 2004:
Update soon dude, and I'll tell others to read and review urs! KK!

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Review #5, by Rynn Like a Coconut

7th March 2004:
Hey dude! I get other ppl to read urz too, k? I updated on my story today and it's nothing but romance... oh well, t2ul!! Cheers!

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Review #6, by Rynn Like a Coconut

2nd March 2004:
Like a coconut... haha...lolo!!!!! It was good, but you should make it longer!!!! I like ur story! I know, it's really hard to make them longer, but I try as hard as I can and I'm going to start telling ppl to read ur story, if it's alright with ya, but if I don't have ur consent, I won't say a thing... NEwho, I'll see youz at skewl and were gonna be werkin at da ballgame and earnin some cash, hehe!!!!!!!!!! Mwuahahahaha! Remember, on da golf cart and Loybz collapsing (lol hehe) T2UL!!!! Cheers!

Author's Response: Hey! Sup Rynn? Sadness, your like the only one reviewing, Thank you soo much! I'll try to make it longer and the next chapter will be up soon and the coconut part. I kinda didn't know what to put, so that just came to mind with the help of my bro! Sure, you can tell ppl to read my story, it doesn't matter. MUAHAHAHA! Ttyl bye ~*JAY*~

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Review #7, by Rynn Feuds, Crystal-Balls & White-Lighters

1st March 2004:
WAY TO GO!!!! Did Loyvie get accepted to da same school? Well t2ul! Bubye and see you's at schoolio!

Author's Response: Hey! Sup Rynn? Umm... Yes, Lobz got accepted to the same school. All I'm waiting for now is Williston Northampton. So Yeah... Ttyl Bye! ~*JAY*~

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Review #8, by Rynn Feuds, Crystal-Balls & White-Lighters

29th February 2004:
It sucks that no1 understands this sort of thing, ya know. I was really annoyed when I told ppl about Arabic cuz they said "Can you speak Saudi Arabian?" I wanted to throw a book at them, but I understood how stupid they were and was polite, like always...yeah right. Update soon, Coconuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author's Response: Hey, Yeah I know what you mean. Saudi Arabian? Lol! Yeah, it does and yes I will undate soon! Coconuts! Muahaha. Sorry, umm... yeah. Well... gonna update the chapter pretty soon. hehe. ttyl and see you in school. OH WAIT! How can I forget!?! I GOT INTO SHATTUCK! Yeah. I'm SOOO HAPPY! sorry, okay.. see ya later and stay tuned! ~*JAY*~

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Review #9, by Skittle McFluff The Beginning

27th February 2004:
I'm sorry, but nothing about it really feels right to me. From "Oh, they just didn't realise she was a witch" to her being a US witch going to school at Hogwarts (they have their own schools in America) to the bluntness.

Author's Response: Hey, umm... #1. later in the story you will find out why she found out she was a witch at 16. If you read the beginning about Vanessa, it bluntly states that Vanessa lives in SAUDI ARABIA, and do you think Saudi Arabia would have a school of witchcraft and wizardy? Well... don't answer that cause you don't know, but I do. I know cause I live in Saudi Arabia, I'm an Aramcon Brat (Oil Brat), umm... I never a fic that involved somebody from Saudi, so I thought it was interesting. And I already said that she was from the states and everything will be unraveled by the end. It's nowhere near the U.S. I suggest you use an atlas to look it up! If you don't like my story, then y are you reading it?

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Review #10, by Rynn The Dream

26th February 2004:
Way to go Jay! Update soon! I vant to read more! :)

Author's Response: Hey! Sup Rynn? I think I just posted chapter 3 so yeah, go read it! I'll be posting a chapter basically everyday! Thanx! ~*JAY*~

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Review #11, by MEGHAN The Beginning

25th February 2004:
GREAT STORY

Author's Response: Hey! Thanx for reading my story and please stay tuned. I know its boring right now but it's get better!

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Review #12, by Rynn The Beginning

24th February 2004:
I luv it Jay! Hope you write more soon, and mince sucks, but thanx to ur idea, it will improve! ;)

Author's Response: Thanx Rynn! Thanx for reviewing my story although it isn't that great but oh well... Yours doesn't sux, you just nned to know where you want your story to go! muwhaha. sorry. calming. My ideas sux anyway! haha, well... not really but anyhow thanx for reviewing and I'll post more soon!Thanx! ~*JAY*~

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Review #13, by Rynn The Beginning

24th February 2004:
Hey, Sup? I really liked this one, but I like the new one even better. c ya later!!!!!

Author's Response: Hey Rynn, Sup again? Uhuh, Like what I said on the top, and keep writing your fic cause its gd and i'll keep writing mine well... revising it. haha. ttyl! ~*JAY*~

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Review #14, by Rynn The Beginning

24th February 2004:
Hey, Sup? I really liked this one, but I like the new one even better. c ya later!!!!!

Author's Response: Thanx Ren. Yeah, I'm working on it and I'm gonna post it soon cause it's almost done and I think its pretty gd. So yeah... Stay tuned! ~*JAY*~

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Review #15, by Jen The Beginning

20th February 2004:
I like the idea of this story, but there are a few errors I would like to point out. You should probably check on your tenses and try to be a little less direct. Like when Vanessa talks to Malfoy, try to write it in a way that shows description and portrays Draco in a way that is a little less arrogant. Though he is full of himself, try to add maybe a bit of tone to his voice with the way he says stuff. If this is a romance between him and Vanessa, try saying what their first impressions of each other were. Otherwise, I like how this is coming along, just keep working on it and I think it will turn out wonderful because it has great potential. :P

Author's Response: Hey! Thanx so much for the review and for pointing out my errors, I appreciate it sooo much! I know very much that I sux at tenses. Thanxs for also pointing out I should paint a picture then tell you about it and the first impressions. umm... I added more to the scene in the compartment. Basically after I read your review I went back fixed all my mistakes and added more to the story because I wrote this a year ago and since then I've evolved as a writter. Thank you soo much and please continue reading and replying. Thanx again! ~*JAY*~

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