That was so sad :(( Youre an awesome writer. Love your story ;) Report Review
This was such a lovely one-shot. I really like the way it was written. I like you characterizations too. I think you did a really great job with this. You defintily have me more interested in reading some more fics about Oliver.Author's Response: Hi :D I'm really sorry for taking such a long time to respond...
I'm really glad you liked the one-shot! :D It was fun characterising the protagonists and trying to develop the character-centred story.
Oliver fics are extremely fun to read about and write, so it's awesome that you're opening up to fics about him. :D Hope you'll find one very much to your liking! :)
Thanks for the review! :D Report Review
I nearly cried by the end.
It was really sweet.Author's Response: Hello xD
I'm so happy that you enjoyed reading it :D That really means a lot to me. :) Thanks for your review :D Report Review
Haha. I loved this story so very much!!
It was lively and beautiful. It was a truly great piece of fluff that I really enjoyed. Your descriptions are lovely and I really gathered the characters emotions from them. You portray them excellently.
I saw a few errors, but that is easily over looked and can be fixed with a simple edit. Your choice of layout made it slightly hard to read, but it was definitely a story worth while.
Like this sentence: As he gazed at the rose, a phenomenon had began unfolding.
I might have read it wrong, but I'm pretty sure it should have been "begun" instead of "began".
9/10Author's Response: Hello :D
Haha, I'm glad you liked the descriptions and the emotions! They were fun to write :D
Oops! Okay, thanks for pointing that out, I'll go through my story again and try to clear the errors. :) Does the weird layout have to do with the paragraphing?
Thanks for the review! :D I'm elated that you enjoyed reading it :D Report Review
That was one of the best one shots I have ever read. Very well done.Author's Response: Hi, I'm extremely elated that you enjoyed reading it :D Thanks for the review :) Report Review
Hmm. It was well-written, and your grammar is good. I think you have a wonderful grasp on the emotion here, and your dialogue is good, very natural. Overall, impressive! I'm not sure why they had to break up just because they were playing for rival Quidditch teams. I would think Oliver would enjoy the challenge that would bring, but hey, it makes for a nicely angst-y plot. Extremely sad ending, but I enjoyed the mystery of it all. Was it Alicia Spinnet? I noticed Angelina and Katie mentioned so... I don't think I've ever seen Oliver/Alicia before, interesting idea. I like how you can bring so much emotion to the reader without naming the character. That's hard to do.
I should note that "inevidently" is in fact not a word. I think you meant "inadvertently"? Also "Death Eater" is two words, both capitalized, not "deatheater".
9/10. Great job.Author's Response: Hello :D
Well, actually, the female protagonist is up to interpretation as either Alicia or an OC. I modelled the female as an OC, but I realised that Alicia worked as well. o_O
Ahh. Sorry, I meant "inadvertently" :) Thanks for pointing those out :D
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it :D Report Review
Hi there :)
I think you've got a lovely story here - it's one of those bittersweet endings that I adore :)
You chose the characters well, and I think the anonymous OC had some great characteristics. You also portrayed Oliver's emotions really well, and I loved seeing his feelings described so clearly. The last section was written oh so beautifully, I can see you're a talented writer. I loved the use of the rose, it tied the piece together and made the last line completely breathtaking.
My only critiscm is that you could have gone into more depth. One-shots don't have to be short, especially when you're telling a story. I wanted to know more about the relationship between Oliver and the OC. Maybe a couple of flashbacks could have really developed their bond, and if would help consolidate the reasons behind their separation as well as strengthen Oliver's feelings throughout the piece.
Really, your writing was gorgeous, and I'm sure there'll be many more great things to come from you :) 8/10
- MarinaAuthor's Response: Hello :D
I'm glad you like the motif, and the writing style I used in the piece :)
Okay, I'll try to add more details about their past :D Thanks for the suggestion :)
I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the feedback! Report Review
Hey! Sorry I took a while to review, but I'm finally here!
1. I really liked the theme of the story. It was cool to be in Oliver's point of view, at the battle of Hogwarts. It struck me as strange that the OC was never given a name, but I think it worked well without one.
2. I found it sort of unbelievable and unrealistic that he broke up with her over their quidditch teams being rivals. But if you want to keep it that way, I think you need to have him emphasize what a stupid decision it was, and how stupid it was for him to even think that they couldn't be together just because their teams were enemies. Because it just didn't work without a reason.
3. I really liked the description of the story. It worked really well. There were some parts of sentances that were sort of awkwardly put, which kind of messed up the flow. But all that takes to fix is reading it out loud and getting rid of odd bits and ends that make a sentance more cluttered.
So anyway, really great job on this story! I really liked the idea. It was very original.
-dramaqueen6Author's Response: Hi! It's no problem, thanks for dropping by. :D
I didn't want to state a name so as to maintain an air of mystery. ><
Okay, thanks for pointing that out. I just thought that since he was written to be so obsessed about Quidditch in the books, that would be okay, but I guess it was exaggerated... :)
Thanks for the feedback, I'll try to smoothen the flow :)
Cheers :D Report Review
Wow- that was beautiful. Perfect one-shot!Author's Response: Hey there! :D I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. xD
Thanks for the review! :) Report Review
This was truly phenomenal! I absolutely loved it. Your writing was amazing as was the story. 10/10Author's Response: Hi, I'm really glad you liked it. :D Thanks for the review. :) Report Review
Well, I have to admit I'm not that usually opinionated on one-shots. But I can still say this story is not bad. I like how it begins and I like the mood throughout the story. It carried the whole concept of the rose well in a short amount of time and the story flowed well. I like how it's about Oliver and Angelina, especially so that we see what they did after graduation before the final battle. I always love using roses as symbols. I can't think of any advice for improving it. Sorry, wish I could say more. I can honestly say that when I read it I thought, Cool, Wow, and other good words like that. Nice work.Author's Response: Hi! Thanks a lot for the review. :) I'm glad you liked the mood, the symbolism and the motif. Well, actually it wasn't Angelina, because I think it was mentioned that the female protagonist was speaking to Angelina, so... yup. Thanks a lot for the review. :) Report Review
Aw, this was really sad. I quite liked it, but you should put the story into bigger paragraphs. I really have nothing else to say (sorry!), but keep writing :]
-- vanitycrashAuthor's Response: Hi!
I'm glad you liked it. Was the paragraphing a bit hard to follow? I'll edit that, thanks for pointing it out!
Thanks for the review xD Report Review
Here as requested. I really like this. It is a little short for a one shot I think you could still lengthen it. Who was the girl? I really like the mystery, but I think you could add the name of the girl at the end.
This has nothing to do with the story itself but there were really long blank spaces between each part of the story. It might just be a glitch, but I don't know.
This is really well written I hope you can add more of the story in it and maybe make it a longer one shot.
~nickyAuthor's Response: Hi!
Yeah, I guess it was quite short, but I wanted to keep the reader questioning. I've already lengthened it, and I think the new one is under revalidation...
Oh, the long spaces. Eeep, I always get that problem even though my spacing in word was fine. D: I'll go fix it. Thanks for pointing it out!
Thanks, I'm really glad you liked it, and thanks a lot for your feedback! I'll work on it! :) Report Review
I really like this. It's a different kind of story than Discretion, but you wrote it well. Oliver's regret and love was conveyed wonderfully, and I like that you set it in the Battle of Hogwarts. It makes it even more heartbreaking. ^_^ Good work!Author's Response: Hi!
I'm glad you enjoyed it, and could feel Oliver's emotions! :D Yeah, the Battle of Hogwarts was really sad. D: Especially when Fred died. :(
Thanks! Report Review
Hey, I'm here to review. This is very well written and you did a great job showing the lost of love that Oliver felt as he watched her die after getting hit by that spell. You did a great job with sticking with the characterization that we are given about Oliver from the Harry Potter books and built around it. Keep up the excellent writing. 10/10Author's Response: Hi!!!
:D Yay, I'm glad you liked it. :D Thanks a lot. :) :D :) :D
Sorry, I'm a tad high today. I knew that fifth mug of coffee was not a good idea.
Thanks! :D:D:D:D:D:D Report Review
Hi, this is LucyLovegood from the forums leaving a review as requested.
You've definitely got the romance down-pat, that last bit was really beautiful. One-shots are hard, because you don't have the time to develop characters like you would in longer stories - but you did well in this. Giving your OC a name might have helped to make her more whole, but that's debatable. That would be my only criticism, I think she could have been developed more - she was beautiful, but what else? There had to be more to her if Wood was still in love with her after so many years. I hope that doesn't sound too harsh! You write really well, and that last bit was truly beautiful! xAuthor's Response: Heya!
Actually, I was debating a few days ago if I really wanted to add in a name. So I opened a topic in the 'help needed' subforum in the HPFF forums, and most people feedbacked that I shouldn't add in a name, so eventually I didn't.
Well, I didn't mean she was /beautiful/ beautiful, but more of she was beautiful to Oliver. But I get your point, and it makes a lot of sense. Thanks for pointing that out, I'll try to work it out. :)
Nah, it wasn't harsh at all.
Thanks a lot for your review! Report Review
That was simply brilliant! I just wish you would have put up a tissue warning...and do you know how bad it is to be taking a bite out of delicious baked chicken while you have tears falling down your cheeks!! XD This was beautiful but sad at the same time! Very good job! I'm so glad that I read this story!! -wytchkitty13Author's Response: Oh, gosh! Thanks a lot! Aw, you made me /beam/ too. Heheh. Tissue warning...? XP
Eeep, you made me hungry...
Thanks a lot, and I'm really, really delighted that you enjoyed the story. X) Report Review
This is beautiful! The end is so wonderful: It was withering. I'm just.. wow. Didn't catch anything wrong at all (though maybe because I was too interested in what was happening next). I love Oliver's thoughts and the fact we have no idea who the girl is.
~emeraldAuthor's Response: Hiya! Awww, thanks! I'm really glad you liked it, and I'm elated that the idea to keep the girl anonymous was good. :P Thanks a lot for your review! :D Report Review
Wow...I'm speechless...and let me tell you, that doesn't often happen :)
This is a really sweet one-shot and to be honest, I'm glad that we don't find out too much about the girl - you stopped her at just the right place.
I can really see a backstory to this - have you written one? You really should :)
One question...hw did she get the rose at the end? It totally made sense to have it there, but I didn't understand how it got there...
But other than that...10/10 :D
xAuthor's Response: Hi there. :D
Awww, thanks! I'm really elated that you liked it. :) Well, I /almost/ wanted to add in the girl's name, but then when I asked for opinions in the "Help Needed" subforum, people have provided feedback that I needn't do so. :) I'm glad it was a good decision. :D
Nope, I haven't written a backstory. Well, if i had to write a backstory, I wouldn't know where to begin. I have so many things to write about their past, but I'm afraid I'll blow things out of proportion. ._.
Well, actually, I've had a previous review asking me the question about the rose's appearance before... but I wasn't sure if I wanted to add it in, since I was writing in Oliver's perspective and all, and he would be clueless as well.
Uhm, if I do write a backstory, I'll address that question, definitely! But I'm not sure if I'll be capable of writing a good one. :|
Thanks for your review! :D Report Review
Wow, that was great! Oliver's love for this person was obviously very great. Was it Alicia Spinnet? She's the only one I invision talking to Fred, George, Katie and Angelina.
This was very, very nice, the emotions was very strong, it was very, very well written. I loved it!
"But most of all, we have to be confident that'll we'll be able to win this."
'That'll we'll' is probably supposed to be 'That we'll.'
That's all! Very nice job!
~long_live_luna_bellatrixAuthor's Response: Hi there! :)
Well, you could see her as Alicia, or a character that I made up. o_o
Awww, thanks, I'm glad you liked it.
Oops! I'm gonna have to change that as soon as I can. :) Thanks for the review! Report Review
Hello, I'm here with your review ^_^
Well, first of all, I want to say that five words in this story stood out to me very clearly, "four years" and "it was withering." Your opening and closing words are what really made this for me, amongst others, but I'll get to that in a minute. These words have such a powerful impact. The first two indicate that this story could go any number of different ways, and the last three show that the way it had gone was final, and could not be changed, not matter what happened.
That said, I am very glad it was a one-shot. I think that if it was longer there would have been too much of an angsty, sad theme, and it would hold back any kind of mystery. Personally, I liked wondering who the girl was, and it did take me a while to catch on that it was Alicia, and that element of mystery, and surprise, really added something to this for me.
It's very sad, and very powerful, and probably one of the saddest things I've read in quite a while.
10/10Author's Response: Hiya! :)
A one-shot is also much easier to write than a chaptered story, if I'm going for the angsty-sad-mysterious route. :)
I'm glad you enjoyed it! (: Even if it was really sad...
Thanks for the review! :D
Hi there, it's Love Made Visible from the forums :D
Well thank you very much indeed for making my heart bleed! The ending was so sad, it was really hard-hitting and striking, which makes me glad you kept it as a one-shot. I believe that if you'd have taken it any further it wouldn't have the same impact, it wouldn't be as strong, and I loved how it was so powerful. The way you described Oliver's emotions was immense, they were so precise and intense and I could practically feel them myself, it was extremely powerful and so elegantly written, you seem to have a skill for that! I think it's also great how you chose to write from Oliver's viewpoint, he's a character that I personally believe was an unsung hero, per se. He had a lot of talent and I think he isn't as recognised as he should be; he's very understated therefore I love how you've brought him forward.
I also like how you've left some things unsaid, I think it's always a great idea to let the reader's summarise some things for themselves - it keeps them thinking about the fic for longer than if you'd have summarised everything at the end. For example how she got the Rose, I thought that was powerful. It wasn't mentioned where she got it from and that left me to come up with my own conclusions, I thought that was a successful technique.
I didn't spot any huge mistakes either, I thought both structurally and grammatically it was overall accurate, so there's nothing to really point out on that front. On the whole a really engaging story, thank you for asking me to review it because I thoroughly enjoyed it :)
Sophie XAuthor's Response: Hey! Wow, you're a really quick reviewer. :P
Aww, I'm really glad you liked it! :D I thought it would be easier to keep the reader questioning if I made it a one-shot. Sometimes when I make it really long, I just... don't know how to continue describing the emotions.
I know! Oliver's a star. I simply love to write and read about him. Actually, I like stories in the perspectives of minor canon characters. I think there's so much to write about; The possibilities are endless. :D But after saying all that, Oliver's still my favourite. :P
I didn't want to mention how she had attained the rose partly because I was writing in Oliver's perspective, and he didn't know. I'm glad that part made an impact on you! :)
I'm practically gushing over your nice, lovely, long review. :) I'm really delighted that you enjoyed it. :D And thank you for reviewing! :) Report Review
I really enjoyed reading this one-shot. Even though Oliver never says her name, we first of all know who she is (even though it was by process of elimination for me) and second and most importantly of all we all can feel all the love and adoration he still has for her. You can especially feel the regret he has. I also really like the symbolism of the rose in their relationship as well. To me that seemed like it perfectly described their relationship. Beautiful while it lasted. 100/10Author's Response: Hey there! :D Thanks for the review. :P
Well, if we take this story as canon, then yeah, we can tell that the person is Alicia. But if we take this story as... well, less-canon-ey (? :P), then the person can be an OC, so she could be anyone. I think that's why I get reviews asking me who's the girl, and I'm not that sure if i want to add a made-up OC name, or just put in 'Alicia'. :P
I'm glad you liked it! :D
100/10 ._. ? Haha. Have a chocolate! :P
Thanks, for offering to BETA this and for reviewing as well. :) Report Review
Hey there, I'm here from the forums with your review! Don't worry about requesting before your review count shot up. I'm inexcusably late to review this, so I'm the one who should be asking forgiveness. =]
Well, I'd say it's a good thing this was a one-shot, because it has a lot of strong emotions and a rather striking ending. I know that maintaining a high level of emotion running throughout a longer story is more difficult, and this short length was effective. You DID do a good job getting to the main gist of the story, however talkative you might be. ;)
Gosh, I really loved your ending, too. Reading the last few lines made me shiver. It was a great twist to reveal that she still loved him, although I'm a bit confused about where she got the rose from. Did she go back and retrieve it after they broke up? Has she been carrying it in her pocket all these years?
Overall a wonderful job as a short snapshot into the losses of the war. Oliver's viewpoint is not one we see often, but he's one of my favorites. Great job!
PS. I love James Franco. LOVE him! =]Author's Response: Hiya! No worries, I understand that you're busy, and I respect that. :) I'm just really glad you still reviewed my story, though! :D
If I made this story chaptered, I'd probably be drowning... in too much emotion! :P
Uhm, actually, I didn't reveal the answers to those questions because I'm writing in Oliver's point-of-view, and he doesn't know the answer. I planned for my story to keep the reader questioning even after it had ended, and those are a few of the questions I wanted the reader to wonder of. :D
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!
(Oh, and yes, James Franco is absolutely lovely, isn't he? :P) Report Review
This is realize from the forum here to review
I think that your beginning was really good, we didnít know who he was talking about right away, and we learned more about him before you exposed anything else. I love the whole fact, that the one thing that he couldnít have was her. People are faced with those problems every single day of their lives, or for several years, and seeing that it still bothered him and that he knew that she wasnít his was really good. We soon learned that the guy was Oliver, but you keep the girl a secret, and that made the readers what to keep reading and figure out
I would have liked to know who the girl was, and coming to the end of the story and not having a name made me rather angry. Why write a story with two characters, and only give the name of one? I think that you should try to make this longer, and maybe add some more detail. 8/10Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for reviewing. :)
Well, actually, I didn't want to give her name away because I wanted her to maintain an air of mystery. I recalled reading a fantastic poem whereby the characters in the poem are kept anonymous, but I can't remember what's the title of the poem after all the heaps of poem analysis I had to go through. I had a few reasons for not disclosing the name, but making the reader angry was definitely not one of them! D:
I'll try and improve according to your suggestions, and I'll probably debate with myself if I should add her name in.
Anymonkey, thanks for the review! :P Report Review
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