Ahh, another great story :) You make me feel slightly jealous at your amazing writing technique, lol. Well, i really enjoyed that one. At first i didn't realise who it was talking about until the "baby on the doorstep" part and then it clicked. I went back and read it again and it made much more sense now i knew who it was. Don't get me wrong, i love the secretive nature of your stories, it gives them a sense of mystery which is really appealing. I've never really thought about how Petunia would have felt after Lily died. I always imagined her a skinny mean dried old prune basically but now it seems she can care; there's a person behind the diguise who cares about her sister. Really liked the story :) Favourited again, 10/10 and now on to the next story :)Author's Response: Why thank you! This one has been edited so many times it's ridiculous, and I'm very pleased to see that the minutia has paid off! No one is as two dimensional as everyone thinks Petunia is, and I figured she deserved an explanation, after all, she did almost say sorry in The Dursley's Departing!
- Lemon Report Review
Hey, so I was flicking through a couple of stories and I came across your one-shot and I am SO GLAD that I did because this is a fantastic little gem. At first I thought it was Sirius or Remus reading about it before it got a little more in depth and I realised it was Petunia and then it hit me at how emotional this was.
I loved how you portrayed her emotions, how you showed Petunia with this sorrowful, loving side (because I don't think there are enough of these stories that show how Petunia felt). I was instantly glued to my computer screen as I read through this because it is fantastic. There are a few minor errors but that's only down to proof reading which I find utterly tedious so I can not blame you one bit :D
I really liked how 'letters' were the basis of everything and that last little bit, "Letters took her away from me and letters brought her back." I found that really quite powerful actually. It was simple but effective, most definitely effective!
In fact, I found this whole piece powerful and moving. You showed Petunia's pain in not being able to say she was sorry. How she had to cry by herself, you just wanted to help her or bring back Lily (which I still wanted to do for Harry :P) so she could tell her that she was sorry. I liked how you portrayed Petunia loving Lily and what her reasons were behind the 'hate'.
And I don't know if this was intended but when you put "I would never, ever let her son go to that place." I got the feeling that it wasn't just the fact that it took Lily away from her but also that she didn't want to lose Harry because he was apart of Lily. I found that very touching.
Great job! This was a wonderful one-shot, it really was a moving and touching one-shot that was well-written and very well though out!
Livvy :DAuthor's Response: Oh my gosh. I love you!! Thanks for such an awesome review! I'm SO GLAD you came across my little one shot as well. ;)
A lot of people seem to get that impression, which is good, because it means I'm doing what I wanted to: not over-describe. Most people would feel absolutely awful after something like that happened to them, so I couldn't find Petunia immune to remorse and grief either.
Yeah, I just can't believe that Petunia is as one-sided and hateful as she is portrayed and thought she needed a little ditty about her true feelings (she did almost say something that day in DH, did she not?)
He-he, yeah, grammar is not my strong-suit (neither is typing, really), but I did edit this in a creative writing class . . . *sigh* I guess I still missed some errors. Ug.
You know, I just thought that letters were something that just kinda defined Petunia. They were always there in the background (Dumbledore's letter, the howler he sent her [not in the books, but highly implied], the Hogwarts letters [both Harry's and Lily's], etc . . . )
Petunia always was a selfish person, and of course, when Lily, her best friend from childhood and her little friend she could bully, got something she couldn't ever have and would take that friend away from her, she would hate it. So, that hate would transfer into hate and bitterness towards Lily, even though she really hated her because she loved her . . . it's confusing really, and I think it was explained better in the story really . . .
It wasn't originally intended, but later when I was proofing, I realized the second meaning. Petunia kinda had a love/hate relationship with Harry because of his resemblance in his eyes and personality to Lily. She also had a love/hate relationship with Lily, she just never showed that she actually loved her sister (like most siblings), so it came across as though she really loathed Lily's existence.
Again, thank you so much for the outstanding review. I believe it's the nicest one I've ever gotten!
- Lemon :) Report Review
This has a good plot behind it, but there was too many mistakes take kept jerking me out of the whole feel of it.
"Although, none of this could I let anyone know" - this doesn't sound right, you could re-word it so it reads something like "Although, I could never let anyone know any of this"
"I couldn't be stopped," -missing a 't' behind the 'I'.
"to be with her just like before that letter came."- there should be two 'befores' in this sentence with a comma between the two.
"I could let no one know" - this sounded weird, just because you have three 'n's one after another, probably something like "Nobody could know" "I could tell no one" or something like that.
it was a nice story, just needs a bit of editing, that's all.Author's Response: he-he. woops, this is why I should proof more . . . *makes guilty face* I kinda wrote this in 30 minutes, and didn't really look it over. Actually, I do have a proof read copy saved to my comp, but I haven't posted it yet . . . sorry! I appreciate the constructive criticism, most people just go, like "WO tha waas gret POST SOON!" or something stupid like that . . . . I do have an explanation for my spelling errors though, my keyboard hates me! I use backspace every other letter!!
Thank you for the review!! XD
~ Lemon Drop 616 =] Report Review
so i am bored as bored can be [attempted to come up with a great metaphor... but alas, i could not] so i decided to see if YOU had written any stories and lo and behold i came across this little gem.
LOVED IT!!! really really really fantastic job. i don't think i've ever read anything about lily's death from petunia's POV. i mean sure there are little snippets in stories, but she always dosen't seem to care, which is totally not plausible, lily was her sister... i mean even if my sister did something i could never forgive her for i'd be shattered if she died... i mean she's my baby sis. :) so basically what i'm saying is that you did a great job writing this and conveying petunia's emotions.
so yea... hummm... maybe i'll go check out the other story you had posted on your profile! and yes, i know i should be working on the next chapter for my brain and black... :) do do do...
NICELY DONE! :)Author's Response: Well, if you're bored, then I'm glad! It got you to check out my page! Yay! Anywho, with regards to this story, I so happened to find that no one had written anything remotely like this, and I felt like this was the missing link in the HP series. Remember in the begining of DH? Petunia almost turns around. She never really seemed to really be that cold, to me at least, so I thought I'd just give a little one shot on why she was that way.
Oh. Um, I'm not too sure you want to read that other one. It's been like a year since I've even looked at that. I'm kinda re-re-re-editing, if you catch my drift . . . . Hmmm . . . you probably don't. AKA: My writing has evolved so much, I hardly even recognize it. So I'm 'fixing' it. Mua-ha-ha.
Cant wait to read your next chapter! *forces your fingers to start typing*
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]
Wow, good story, sad but good and I am just about to read your other story, so yeh, thanks for a great HPFF storzy.10/10Author's Response: Yay! Thank you for reviewing!! I'm glad to know that you think this story is good. Because, truthfully, I prefer reading to writing, and this was mainly just something that I thought would make a good explaination for why Petunia is who she is. Again, thank you!!
~ Lemon Drop 616 =] Report Review
Hiya. You recently revieved my, 'secret love for scarlet', so I thought I should review this story, as it also has no reviews. First off, I really like how the story begun, which kept my reading closely to find out who it was. In the first paragraph, thought it was Sirius, but then I realised it was Aunt Pertunia?? Is that correct? But anyway, I liked how she felt guilt for being a bad sister, then realising Lily had forgiven her, and sent her Harry. It's a nice plot, which can fit perfectly into the real books. I love it when stories do that, because I can imagine that when I read the books/ watch the films.
hprvs3Author's Response: Ello! Thank you so, so much for reviewing this story. I really didn't want to reveal who was narrating right away, so I'm very glad that you were able to figure it out. So, yes that was Petunia's POV. I really wanted to try to keep this as cannon as possible, so I'm glad you thought I did. I also wanted to expose a weaker side to her, because you don't really get a chance to see that in the books; and I wanted to explain why she was like she was. Well, thanks again for reviewing, I think I'll go check up on your story now . . . .
~ Lemon Drop 616 =]
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