Reading Reviews for Saviour.
  
79 Reviews Found

Review #1, by NothingMoreThanHate Malina

8th December 2012:
More please! I love your story!

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Review #2, by Cleopatraa Malina

4th May 2010:
Rabastan Lestrange is one of my favourite characters in the Harry Potter world so the moment I saw his name I knew I had to read this seeing there are not alot of stories about him ( and most of them are not all to great) . I have to say you did an amazing job with your story. It’s so refreshing the way you portrayed him. Different then most and the way I also see him. I like Alanna even though she’s rather weak. I actually hope she will leave him because she’s to good for him. Please update soon! I will be definitely putting this in my favourite list.

-xoxox-

Cleopatraa

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you like the way I portrayed Rabastan. I wanted him to be deeper than the usual Death Eater. Alanna is rather weak, but I'm not revealing whether she will leave him. It makes their power struggle more interesting! =] I promise I will try to update soon. Thanks again for the review!

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Review #3, by EleanoreRosier Malina

9th April 2010:
What a powerful story!! It is absolutely amazing. I have read it in the past and I thought you lost your inspiration but clearly, I was wrong. YOu are back and your writing skills are amazing.

I was in Alanna's position once, knowing the man you love is cheating on you but I was unable to react. I was paralysed.

Rabastan doesn't love her but, he can't live without her. He's been used to her docile presence and naive personality. Malina is Alanna's opposite. She is strong, cunning and able to draw Rabastan's respect.
I like Alanna even thought she is weak. She is blind by her love for him and as you pointed out, he is a real bastard to her. I am not sure of his relationship with Narcissa but Alanna is clearly the least of his priority when it comes to women. He only cares when he feels he might loose his domination on her.
I trully hope she'll open her eyes and she'll be able to find the strenght to leave him. As I said before, I feel a gread deal of sympathy for her and pure hatred toward Rabastan (I can't stand cheaters!!!).

I hope you'll update soon. Your story is amazing and really moving. It's 10/10 for me!!!

Just another thing, english is far from being my mothertongue and I hope my review will be understandable.

Author's Response: Thank you! I know it's been a while, but I'm trying to update within a month.

All your character analyses are spot-on! Malina does draw Rabastan's respect, but she is too much Rab's equal for him to stay with her. [Plus she's married. :P] Rab isn't just a cheater - his character is deeper - and perhaps you'll feel less hatred when we see what his life is like. Then again, maybe not. :P Yes, Alanna is his least priority because she allows it. I'm glad you empathize with her; it means I'm doing my job as a writer. As for Cissy, you'll have to wait and see. =]

Thanks once again for the long review! I appreciate it.


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Review #4, by alanapotter Malina

6th January 2010:
Oh boy... I haven't even started reading yet, but I'm assuming the chapter title is a name, and if so, that definitely doesn't bode well for Alanna :P We shall see! :D

OH MY GOD. What a .! I don't even have a proper word to describe him.

But I love this!! This is by far one of my favorite stories on this site. Your writing is absolutely incredible, and the intensity of Alanna's emotions and actions is enough to make anyone fall in love with the whole story.

This connection she has to playing the piano continues to capture my attention... I love how there's a bit of light at the end of the dark tunnel she's in, something to bring even the slightest joy to her sheltered, oppressed life.

Gah! I can't say anymore because I'll start being repetitive and unnecessarily (though not undeservingly) fan girlish through loads of squees :]

Great work, and I eagerly await the next chapter :D
-Jill

Author's Response: Wow, it's taken way too long for me to respond. As you can probably tell from the lack of updates, I haven't been on HPFF much in the past year.

Yes, the piano-playing does offer a bit of light in her dark tunnel. :P Thank you for all of your compliments. They make me blush, as always. The next chapter is in the works - and has been for awhile. I NEED to get it finished! :/

Thank you Jill, as always! =]


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Review #5, by icequeencissa Malina

3rd January 2010:
You updated, YAY!!! I love this story. I feel really sorry for Alanna. If I were her I would have walked out by now. I can't find one tiny thing wrong in this story altogether. I think it's perfect. Thank you,
Icequeencissa

Author's Response: Haha, so sorry about the wait. I hadn't written anything for the past 2 months! And this was on a break before that, so it took a lot of willpower for me to start this up again.

Thanks so much, your compliments really mean a lot. I know any normal girl would've walked out by now, but Alanna's got a mental instability and she's very dependent on Rab. We'll see how that plays out. =] Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #6, by elladora Malina

3rd January 2010:
Well I don't have much time to leave review so it shall be short. Rabastan is a bit of a bastard towards Alanna. I hope Alanna shall leave him

Author's Response: He IS, but she still loves him. As I've been saying for the past few chapters, haha. We'll see next chapter how much of the conversation between Malina and Rab she actually heard/understood. It won't be a lot.

Thank you for your review! I really appreciate it. =]


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Review #7, by Leent Bid for Freedom

16th September 2009:
Back again :) I really liked it, to be honest. What was most interesting was that Alanna began to take further steps here, more than her usual backing down, and began to grow again. That was great. Oh, and naturally I loved the beginning, seeing things from Rabastan's perspective, and of course a minor appearance of Sirius Black. Really lovely that ;)

This was a good chapter that put some upswing on the momentum. And now, I need to read more, so excuse me for not getting into too much detail this time.

Author's Response: Yep, I'm having Alanna grow little by little from the beginning of the story. I figured it'd be boring to read chapter after chapter of her NOT changing. Besides, it's fun to freak Rabastan out. =]

Rabastan's point of view will come in more and more as the story shifts its focus to what's going on outside the Lestrange house. And I couldn't help but put Sirius in there. You know how much I love him.

Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you're still enjoying it!


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Review #8, by Leent Remembering

16th September 2009:
Hey Gabby ~ I think I've fallen a bit behind here...and I really have been wanting to catch up.

What can I say? I really enjoyed this chapter immensely. As always, your descritpions were driving, and the story moved fluidly. The flashback was just perfect! It gave us a great perspective into why Alanna feels the way she does. Poor thing, guess that's why a girl should never fall completely for her crush, eh? But it was beautifully written, and gave that further insight.

"he bundled her into his embrace and breathed peace into her body through her lips" - dang! That was good :)

I will try to read the rest over the next day or so. Another fantastic chapter! Smiles

Author's Response: Yes, that's great advice for us girls. Unfortunately, sometimes this kind of thing can't be helped, especially for someone in Alanna's situation. Haha, I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for reading and reviewing!!

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Review #9, by harrylilyjames Search and Seizure

8th September 2009:
Hey!
This is the last review I can give for this story, if you want more come back to my thread :)

The chapter was really nice, but I just don't get why she would jump to the conclusion of Bella over the simple black pin she found on the jumper. I'm just kind of lost on that.

But it was a another wonderful chapter, your descriptions are brilliant.

I have nothing else to say... which is good. Just hope you keep writing it. =]

Author's Response: Oh, the black pin was a flower, so she knew it was a girl's. They'd been living together for 4 years, so at that point there's no reason for Rab to wear some other girl's token on his sweater unless...Haha. Bella was the one who originally brought up Rab's infidelity, remember? And she's the only one of Rab's female friends Alanna knows of, so she thought of her immediately. But right afterwards, she convinces herself it's not her.

Thanks so much for your reviews, I really appreciate them.


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Review #10, by harrylilyjames Family Ties

7th September 2009:
Oh no!!
My heart just plummeted to the pit of my stomach when he told her that she was going to be here when his friends were around. She was so happy about meeting them and then he tells her that she cant come, how horrible!
Okay, I just have to say OMG!! You wrote Bella wonderfully. She is like my favourite Death Eater, so twisted and cold, and you pulled her off...well done!!
I felt sorry for poor Alanna, I would hate to be in her position- face-to-face with Bella and not even her lover would help her out...poor woman. =(
My heart is actually aching for her right now, because she clings onto Rabastan like he's her life force, but she's nothing special in his life, he treats her like dirt.
This was a really good chapter.

Author's Response: Haha, yes, it's horrible, but Rabastan isn't keeping her away from them to be mean. He's just afraid she might find out the many bad things that he's doing behind her back - and he has good reason to be afraid. Look at what happened when she met Bella. =] Glad you liked her, btw. Some people expected her to be crazier, but I think she must've been subtler before Azkaban. Still, Rab doesn't have the cojones to stand up to her, and Alanna certainly isn't a match. And yeah, Rab's just a stinking coward and he keeps her around because it makes him feel better about himself, but in next chapters you'll see more of his pov and maybe you'll sympathize more. =] Thanks for the review!

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Review #11, by harrylilyjames Homecoming

5th September 2009:
Hey!

The first chapter was lovely, it really built the story up. But there was a lot of repetition, I felt like you were repeating the same things all over again and I got a bit bored near the middle. This could be just me.

The last part was really well done, I feel sorry poor Alanna, she seems like she's trapped because of her own stupid heart...=(

I noticed that in the second chapter you use the word 'malice' a lot when describing her feelings, try and put something else in it's place, also you use the phrase “rattled about the large room loudly like beans in a shoebox.” twice when describing the room, I don't know if this was on purpose or not.

I like the second chapter better than the first, it seems to flow more easily and there's more dialogue in this one.

I actually feel terrible for poor Alanna, being stuck with him and wanting things that she can't get. She was a bit stupid to leave school for him, I know loved-up girls do it, but at least she would of had a education then and be able to go for a decent job. Silly girl.

Author's Response: Hey, sorry for the late response - my laptop's been giving me problems lately and I just got to check HPFF today. Yes, Alanna is trapped by her own heart/head/issues. We've all been there, but this runs a bit deeper. Their backstory is a bit confusing, and their relationship is such a strange one, so the repetition is to make it as clear as possible. If it's boring, though, I'll have to fix that. :(

Yeah, the repetition of the phrase was on purpose. Malice wasn't, though, so I'll take a look at that. The first chapter was originally a prologue, so that's why it there was more narration (aka boring stuff). I agree about school - that was an important thing in showing Alanna's situation and how much she depends on Rab. Thanks so much for the long review!


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Review #12, by TwilightPrincess Sonata No. 4

4th August 2009:
So it's been forever and a half, but I'm finally here to review your request from TGS. Sorry for the wait.

This was another excellent chapter, but what I'm most impressed with is your clear knowledge of the English language. (That was a poorly-worded sentence, but let me explain.) There were so many instances in this and the previous chapters where I just had to say to myself, "Hey, that was cool." For example: Her dreams had been riddled with mystery men, all dark-haired and handsome like her Rabastan... I look at that part of the sentence and I just have to sit here and be impressed by it. There's really no other way to describe my reaction. The word 'her' before 'Rabastan' is what gets me, I think. It's a tiny word but it makes all the difference. I won't go into detail about how it ties in the opinion of 'handsome' because you know that already. Just know that your little tricks are not unnoticed. =)

I really like that you use questions in the regular narration. I think a lot of authors here would say that questions should be reserved for first-person or italicized to show the thoughts of the characters, but isn't the purpose of writing to make people think? You're just quickening that process. And it certainly works. You're taking a direct route to the reader, which I like. Because this is both a plot- and character-based story, you need that. Good job.

Your house-elf writing was phenomenal. I am very impressed; it sounded just like JKR.

I don't know how I feel about the shift in Rabastan's mood in the end scene. Actually, I think it's because I feel like he doesn't have the capacity to call anyone dear, even his girl. It didn't bother me until later he 'demanded harshly' something of Pinky. Or perhaps you had him say dear as not a term of endearment but to amp up his... creepiness, I guess. This is difficult to explain. You know how sometimes the killers in the movies will try to coax out their prey by calling them sweetie or dear? If that's what you were doing here, it was over my head.

Overall, another great chapter. I can't wait to read more =)

Ganbare! Tanoshinde ^_^

.:.Ilia.:.

Author's Response: Haha. "Hey, that was cool," is always a good sign. =]

I actually don't usually use questions in narration, not because I think it's ineffective, but because my narration is usually pretty distant from my characters. In this story, though, I wanted it to get as close into Alanna or Rab's mind as it can without using first-person. I find that, like you said, questions speed up and intensify the way her thoughts are expressed in the narration.

Ooh, now that you mention it, that "dear" does sound a bit out of place. I meant to write "love," I think - in previous chapters Rab is always saying that, which is a bit ironic. =] No, I wasn't amping up his creepiness. ^_^ He doesn't strike me as particularly creepy, though you'll meet a couple of those kinds in future chapters. ;)

Thanks so much for the awesome review! I'll be writing more as soon as life gives me a break. *sigh*

~CSG


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Review #13, by alanapotter Sonata No. 4

28th July 2009:
YES I ENJOYED THIS! Heh. I make my point clear enough, yeah?

I just absolutely adore your stories! Ahhh! Everything is just awesome and flowing and eventful. And even if it's not there's all this emotional description that makes it seem like there is, gah! Where can I get your skills? Please share :]

I love how these characters are so similar... it makes their arguments and the aftermath of them so much easier to play with and you delve right in, using exquisite adjectives to interest the audience and convey the proper emotions to a tee. Simply amazing.

I really like how you gave her another escape... an opportunity, if you will... to rely more upon herself than the dependence she has on Rab. The piano playing and her memory of it were so easy to relate to. I play music, so I can definitely put myself right there, but I'm sure anyone who doesn't can understand what it means to her.

"And all her life she had known but only one place to find such a thing" -- the use of 'but only' together is kind of confusing to me... I re-read this like four times. Just figured I'd let you know :P

I love the whole house elf scene too! It's like they've started to listen more to Alanna than Rab, but at the same time they can't. It's really interesting and the way you portrayed the relationship between Rab and the elves was pleasing. Gimpy. Bahaha that name makes me laugh. Maybe I'm just tired...

Really though, another spectacular chapter! I'm so glad you updated it :] And while I didn't read the other idea you had for this, I think this is wonderful! There's so many places you can take it.

Until the next update :D
-Jill

Author's Response: Haha, oh, Jill. I'm sure you have skills, too. I want to check out the stories of all the authors who follow mine, but it's so hard to find time. I promise I'll get to it someday.

I felt like Alanna needed something uplifting in her life, and considering her mental condition and overall instability, I felt like music would be a good anchor. I also play music, so I'm glad this was relatable to another musician. :)

I love house elves! :D That's why I incorporated them as more than just servants. Alanna is not a Hermione-type who feels bad for them; quite the opposite, she's repulsed by their subserviance and pathetic devotion. That's important because it unconsciously spurs her to change her own actions.

And Gimpy IS funny. One of my volleyball teammates hurt her ankle a few years ago and the whole team christened her "Gimpy." :P

I'm glad you liked this - I never put up the other idea, I just battled with it for a few days before deciding I still liked this better. Thanks for another great review!

~Gabby


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Review #14, by Tinkerbell01 Sonata No. 4

28th July 2009:
Hey Gabby!
Thanks for letting me know you updated! I'm glad you found my thread at TGS. The one at the forums was just too overwhelming with people requesting non-stop and TGS is much more calmer.

I dunno what to say hun! You're chapter seems amazing once more. You describe everything so vividly and clearly, which makes it easier for the reader. To picture things as if we were actually there. I loved the flashback with Polly. She seems so cute and adorable. Makes me want to get into the story and pinch her cheeks! :P

I love how the house elves are defending Alanna's leaving. There are words that I want to use to describe it, but it's late and I should probably be in bed. :/ I'll think of them after I've left the review, no doubt.

I might've seen one or two mistakes, but that's it!

I'm sorry I don't have much more to say, but it's true. You're writing amazes me everytime.

*Alicia

Author's Response: Yeah, I had a thread on HPFF last year and it just became too much. I remembered that you liked this story, but I hadn't updated in so long that you probably forgot about it, so I popped in. =]

Oh, Polly. You may or may not see more of her, I haven't decided yet. But all little girls go through that phase, where they ask way too many questions. Sometimes it's cute, but sometimes...haha.

Yeah, I wrote the house elves like children in that sense. Their loyalty is supposed to lie with their Lestrange master, but makes sense that they'd gravitate towards their mistress because Rab is never home, and Alanna is. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!

~Gabby


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Review #15, by confusedlover Sonata No. 4

27th July 2009:
very lovely.

this was another amazing chapter. well worth the wait, i guess. honestly, there is nothing, as usual, that i am disappointed in. you had a very readable pace and beautiful word choice and you plot is only showing improvement. i am very impressed by this chapter and do hope that you will continue with your amazing writing skills.

Author's Response: Awesome, I'm glad you liked it! The plot will begin to leave the Lestrange house more often in coming chapters, too. Thanks for reviewing!

~CSG


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Review #16, by rachm34 Sonata No. 4

26th July 2009:
SQUEEE. OHMIGOD, SQUEEE. OHMIGOD YOU UPDATED. AND WHEN I SAW YOU REQUESTED I SKIPPED ALMOST EVERYONE ELSE TO SEE THIS STORY! (THAT WAS ALL IN CAPS IF IT DOESN'T SHOW UP WHEN I REVIEW.) BUT REALLY I AM SO EXCITED. WOOT WOOOT WOOOT. WOOOT. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR UPDATING. THIS IS SUCH A HUGE STEP TO TAKE AND GET OVER WRITERS BLOCK. I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TOOO. SO PROUD OF YOU AND SO EXCITED I GOT TO READ A NEW CHAPTER. I ENJOYED IT SO MUCH


Okay, Caps are off. My excitement squee is done. Well, maybe not yet. I loved this chapter. Honestly, I did. It was so brilliant it's hard to put into words. I love Alanna's character. Oh mi god. I do. Wow, This is going to be the most fan girlish review you probably might recieve. But I am so excited for you! YAY YAY YAYY!

Haha.

This was a great chapter. Rab doesn't deserve somoene like Alanna. Hold on another squee coming up that is going to be random.

sklejrlaekjrlekajfd. Okay done. Hahah!


I loved your descriptions, they are so clear and vivid within the readers mind that I can see almost everything that is happening. It moves so fluidly like a movie. It's truly amazing. And Your characterizations are amazing. Can we talk about them for a second? They are stunning. The way you are able to write characters such as Rowling has and turn them into three dimensional characters and you expanded so much about them.

Don't even get me going on the original-ness on this story. It's supurb. You make the readers want to know what happens. Fantastic, Excellent, Brilliant, Stunning. Congratulations on updating!

Author's Response: Bahaha, this WAS the most fangirlish review I've ever gotten. You always make me laugh [but in a good way]. ;)

I did have horrible writer's block for a while, and it feels good to be finally rid of it! Even better that you liked this chapter so much and think that the characters are still going strong. Everyone keeps saying that Rab doesn't deserve Alanna, but playing devil's advocate, it's also her fault for not taking initiative to leave him. Haha, just saying. :)

This has to win the Best Feel-Good Review Ever award. With all this encouragement, I might update early next time! ;) Thanks for reviewing, as always, Rachel!

Gabby


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Review #17, by SpringTime Sonata No. 4

26th July 2009:
Hey! I finally have time to read and review, will get to two shots next. So Sorry that it took so long. The only thing I have to comment on is the time difference between the Longbottom birth and the Potter birth... arent they born within a day of each other... sorry just a canon thing that I figured I would point out.
Anyway... other than that I really enjoyed this chapter and am so eager to find out where she might have gone. I love that the house elves have changed their loyalties... that is wonderful, go Allana.
You conveyed her emotions so well, I only wish that Rab deserved her love. Poor girl. Anyway, onto Two Shots.

Author's Response: No problem, real life is busy for everyone. I'm just flattered that you are so faithful in following my stories. =]

Harry & Neville were born a month or less apart, I believe. Here, I mentioned Lily was "well-along", but I do realize that it doesn't go with canon because this chapter is in autumn and Harry was born in summer. Arrgh. Oh, well.

Rab is slimy, yes, but he can't help it! Haha, I guess I feel the need to defend him because I know his side of the story and so far, you don't. =] But I'm adding more in as the story progresses. Soon, you'll see what pressure he's under. =]

And the house elves are my favorite little comic relief thing. I just love them. :P Thanks for the review!


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Review #18, by Wierdy Bid for Freedom

20th June 2009:
I like your plot, it has something.

I think Alanna should give up and leave, personally, because Rabastian is a Lastrange, he's not going to change, and there really is nothing he can do about it this far in the game.

Good characterizations. :]

Author's Response: Ahah, I'm glad it has "something." That's always good to hear, right? :P

Hmm, that's not the first time a reader has told me that. It's obvious she should, of course, but Alanna isn't going to leave without fighting. I'm planning on making the process a little interesting...

Haha, glad you like the characters, too. Thanks for reviewing! =]


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Review #19, by TwilightPrincess Bid for Freedom

20th May 2009:
I was going to talk about the first scene first, but after I read the next one, I had to do that one immediately. How impressive! I don't even know how to explain it. The way you wrote the scene where she asks him if he still loves her... pure genius. I could just FEEL everything happening, it was so good. And when she said that she had to ask him something, I could see her face, serious, and you had the perfect amount of narration between what she said and his response. His response was, by the way, brilliant. I could see him perfectly as well. When she finally asked him if he still loved her, I was shocked. My eyes bulged at the screen, honestly. You caught me by surprise for sure, which is something I admire in writing. That whole exchange was just... wow. I don't even... wow.

Forgive me for gushing. Back to the opening scene. I like the line you chose for the first line of the chapter. It really set the scene without being obnoxious. It was simple but very effective, which really is how all your writing is. The scene was beautifully written and it really added a lot to the story. A great insertion. Good placement, too.

Overall, this chapter was awesome. As I said, your writing is very impressive.

Ganbare! Tanoshinde ^_^

.:.Ilia.:.

Author's Response: Wow, thanks! This chapter was definitely the most difficult by far. I took forever to write it because I had to get into the mood, or else it didn't sound right. I liked the "question" part, too, because it was fun to make Rab sweat. ;) Writing the back-and-forth shifting of power between them was a great experience.

I'm glad you liked the battle scene. I stuck it in because I felt we needed a brief break before the heavy second part. There's some foreshadowing in there, too. Thank you for your wonderful reviews, and I'm so happy you enjoyed it! =]

~CSG


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Review #20, by TwilightPrincess Remembering

20th May 2009:
I cannot praise your writing style enough. I absolutely adore it. Reading this is no different than reading poetry. And I know I've said that before but there really is no other way to describe your beautiful prose. Never mind Bellatrix Lestrange's wayward words, Alanna was sure that Rabastan loved her. Even to contemplate such a betrayal of their bond was insanity.

I have to tell you. When you were in the flashback and Alanna said, "Really?" and Rabastan came back with, "No, not really." I lol'd. It's been my personal goal to do that to someone, and seeing it in writing reignited that desire in me. It's a little cruel, but it's more funny than mean. I'm going to have to do that soon. XD

I like the way you write Alanna's dialogue more than anyone else's. Something about her seems more approachable, more... natural. Perhaps you did this on purpose, but Rabastan in comparison to Alanna seems like he's from a different world, where they talk all proper and such. If you did that purposely, kudos to you because that's brilliant. But if you didn't, might I suggest adding a little of the friendliness from Alanna to Rab's characterization.

Another excellent chapter. I expected nothing less.

Ganbare! Tanoshinde ^_^

.:.Ilia.:.

Author's Response: Haha, it's funny that you compare this to poetry because I always feel like I'm making everything too melodramatic to be believable. Alanna has plenty of emotional problems, of course, but I tone each chapter down a couple notches before I post. Writing poetically seems like a good balance. ;)

And go for it, I'm sure it'll be hilarious. =]

Yeah, I totally know what you mean about Rab speaking differently. Like I said, Rabastan speaks the way he is: cold and aloof [at least for now]. He isn't approachable, and certainly almost everything about him is false to a degree. There's also his pureblood upbringing to consider, whereas Alanna was raised relatively coarsely. She isn't too approachable to outsiders, but to Rabastan she always makes the effort to connect with him. I didn't think much about their language - I guess it just came along with their characters.

Thank you so much for the reviews. I appreciate them! =]


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Review #21, by TwilightPrincess Search and Seizure

20th May 2009:
Sorry for the delay. I hope you don't mind if I pick up my reviews at this chapter.

I really am impressed with your control over the English language. I've seen some pretty wicked word-slingers on this site, but your writing style is entirely your own, and it's beautiful. Nearly every line of narration made me think, and I came to the conclusion that had I been writing this, I would not have been able to think of something as clever as what you chose. For example, this: "Hmm," Alanna grunted, committing to neither anger nor forgiveness. The second clause is what really got me thinking. It's a simple sentence, I know, but I just would never be able to think of phrasing it that way. The way you put it makes an ordinary sentence sparkle. Very impressive.

The plot of this seems to be going to a good place. It's interesting for sure, and your characters really propel it well. I especially like the way you've given us a good view into what Alanna is thinking and how she feels about everything. I'm not just reading her thoughts on things. It's pure poetry. Alanna reasoned--no, she knew with deep certainty--that because Rabastan had accustomed himself to taking care of her, within the last four years she had reined in some of his fragmented concentration with her own. I could quote the entire chapter, but I'll try to restrain myself.

The only tiny piece of criticism I can mention is the dialogue between Rab and Alanna at the beginning. Something about the way Rabastan spoke wasn't completely agreeing with me. "...so I hope you'll put your heart to ease and forgive us both." Do people really speak this way? I wish they did because this is a beautifully crafted sentence. I just think that it works better in narration than in dialogue.

Great chapter! You're a gifted writer and I really enjoy reading your work. Ganbare! Tanoshinde ^_^

.:.Ilia.:.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for stopping by again! I'm so flattered that you could even compare me to the greater "word-slingers" on this site, lol. I hope to reach their caliber one day. It's nice to hear that I make an ordinary sentence sparkle, though. :)

Glad you like the description - this is a really character-driven story, so I focus a lot on Alanna and Rab rather than too much plot. As for the dialogue, you'll see as you read that how Rabastan speaks serves to characterize him further. It's difficult to explain...but it fits for him to speak that way? Haha, oh well. Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #22, by Phoenix_Flames Search and Seizure

18th May 2009:
Haha, that last comment was kinda smart. It made me smirk.

Another wonderful chapter. I know what to expect of you now: brilliant stories that need nothing but praise.

And that is what you will get. Well done!

10/10

Author's Response: Aww, stop it. You're making me blush! =] I'm happy you like it so much, though. I hope you read on and that you enjoy that as well. Thanks again for reviewing!

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Review #23, by Phoenix_Flames Family Ties

18th May 2009:
YAY! I got around to the next chapter!

And :O

This was amazing and gripping But I absolutely hate how you ended it! You have left me just dying, absolutely dying, for more! I can't leave too long of a review! I'm too excited!

10/10

Author's Response: Haha, thanks! I enjoy making readers squirm from time to time. *evilgrin*

I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #24, by Tinkerbell01 Bid for Freedom

16th May 2009:
Hey hun! ^_^

You have yet another amazing chapter! I love how you express Alanna's feelings for Rab. It show's that even though he may not want to work things out, she is still willing to give it a shot! I may have said this before in a previous review of your story, but who's counting? :p

I didn't see any mistakes at all m'dear! :) Amazing job!

*Alicia

Author's Response: ahaha, if I'm not making it apparent by now that Alanna REALLY wants to be with Rab - and thinks it'll work out if she just tries hard enough - then there's a problem :P

Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad that you're enjoying it.


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Review #25, by Phoenix_Flames Homecoming

15th May 2009:
YAAAY! Brilliant chapter! I love it! I know I'm supposed to give you Cc, but...oh well! This is perfect! I'm enjoying it so much, and I'm not fidning anything else to tell you other than that!

Btw, who is the guy in your images? He's FINE!

10/10

Author's Response: Bahahha, that's my future husband, French actor Gaspard Ulliel. You might've seen him wandering around the archives in other story images, but really he is mine. ;) You can see why Alanna sticks with Rabastan, even though he can be a jerk. =]

Yay, I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for the review!


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