This was good! i loved it! and the end was really funny! Loved the fic overall! ANd btw, thanks for reading and reviewing my fic 'Opposites Attract'. Do keep reading. and yeah, I added u as my fav author too! You rock!
AD Report Review
I was looking for a light-hearted story with a happy ending. I definitely found exactly that in your story. Just the right touch of fluff. :) You did have a few word switches that, while adding a different kind of humour, I don't think was intended. You wrote 'steak' instead of 'stake' and 'choirs' instead of 'chores', ah homophones are a tricky thing. ;) Overall good job. Killer ending, simply the best!
--Mac Report Review
I loved it! It was such a light-hearted and fun! I saw that you were reading Beloved of a Hero. Such an amazing story. I think you were the one that said you agreed with me about Fred and his last comments. I am WotcherLizzieGinny. I hope that with all my heart that lizzie will live and be happy with charlie. Report Review
Thank you for reviewing my story! I thought I'd return the favor!
This is very cute. I like the trust fund idea too.
I saw one typo;
"Mr. Weasley made good on his promise to Harry and handed out the morning choirs."
I think you mean "chores" not "choirs".
This paragraph I might play with the punctuation a little:
"Moments later the two boys who had been happily doing their job, gradually pushed themselves away from the wall where they had been working so- hard, and slowly turned to face their aggressor. Both boys red, perturbed and ready to confront and devastate whomever they saw standing there. "
I'm thinking more like this:
"Moments later the two boys, who had been happily doing their job, gradually pushed themselves away from the wall where they had been working so hard, and slowly turned to face their aggressors. Both boys red, perturbed, and ready to confront and devastate whomever they saw standing there. "
But, that's more a matter of opinion. Use your own judgement.
I was going to send you a 'Thank You' note on the forums but I didn't see "AriesGirl40" over there. If you have a different user name there shoot me note at 'wildmtn'.
Very cool story! Thanks.
DanAuthor's Response: Thanks for the many suggestions and the typo. Just one? Thanks for the return review. I had a fun day talking with you.
Patty Report Review
Super charming! I like Arthur-the-Matchmaker ;) I've also started "Love and Forgiveness" by HarryGinny4eva and I'm really enjoying it so far; thanks for the great recommendation!Author's Response: After reading both yours and hers, I knew you would make a great match. Your both talented, and I see you both going on to bigger and better things in the future. Some people write for fun, some to find out if they have what it takes in the writing world, Me, I'm an editor, with an eye. And Hey! thanks for reviewing me. I liked this better than the other one. British humor is Hard, even with help from a Brit! I have another idea in mind it could be interesting. I'll let you know when it's up. Thanks again. Report Review
ha ha. loved the ending. But I thought Ginny and Harry were very akward, that Mr. Weasley and Harry were very akward and that Hermione was nothing like herself...Author's Response: Thats wonderful! I got tired of everyone sounding the same throughout the fandome. I just wanted something different. I was really only interested in two things. What was going on in the garden, and Painting the house. Not so much about what anyone was saying, "except the kiss". But making my people move. Also I always wanted Ginny to have an edge, so I gave her the touch. Thanks for reviewing! Report Review
I loved it, especially the ending. I thought the moment you captured in the garden was perfect, I liked the 'connection' that you made between Harry and Ginny's minds. Nice job, and I hope to see more.Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words.
I do have something else written and the first chapter is up. I'm not sure you would understand it. But I was dared to write a story from the dare thread in forums. A friend sent me the dares that I have to use. The first is to have a charactor run into a glass door more than once must be used as a running joke.
I am trying to work it more or less using Brit humor and not so much American. The one Brit that reviewed it actually got it! LOL
Well, enough of that. Thank you for the wonderful review. It was very "Feel Good". Report Review
It's good, but it feels a little awkward when Arthur and Harry are talking about when Harry's going to marry Ginny. They aren't even dating yet! That kind of threw me off. And also, just a little grammar, the your in you're welcome has the apostrophe 're because it's a contraction.
Other than that it's good though!!!Author's Response: I was of the same openion (Spell-check is my friend) I hated the Arthur Harry conversation in the barn, I was hopeing that the readers would pay more attention to what was going on rather than what was being said. This was written for a monthly competition for SIYE. If you thought what Grammar problems you found were horrific, you should have see it in it's entireity. This draft is missing about another 400 or so words. I cut a whole scene that really was crap. But, even with all of the flaws that are left the story was fun and left you with a good feeling. That in it self makes it worth publishing, don't you think?
It has been found that my writing has Grammar issues and that I do tend to drift in and out between first and third person. But I am just learning about things like that. My teachers in school followed the first rule (There are no rules in writing) and never corrected me. They even taught spelling by sound at the time. I'm trying to correct myself of these flaws now. Thanks much for the review. Report Review
I really enjoyed this story. I've read that you are busy right now, but I hope that you will continue this. Thanks for the great read
~Ginnyfan4lifeAuthor's Response: Ginnyfan4life, I've been reading your warewolves rebellion, That is Very good. I'm glad you enjoyed my first story. I'm still thinking on where I could take this next. I have a first chapter on a different kind of story in at a beta right now. Hope you like Hermione & comedy? I needed to let off some steam on something else. Should see it sometime in Dec. My Beta works alot. Thanks again for taking the time to read my story and write a review. Aside from my horrible Grammar, I've been thankful no one has out-right hated it. Looking forward to a new chapter from you soon. See you in forums, you'll just have to figure out which one I am. I changed my sign in name. There are only 2 who have figured it out so far. I always loved a good mystery. Report Review
wonderful, humerous and beautiful. I really liked this what a marvelous way to bring them together. The white wash scene was the icing on the cake. Typical Harry generosity with his inheritance, and lack of confidence not talking to Ginny at the start. Arthur really is a loving father to do that for his daughter.
tgfoyAuthor's Response: I am glad that you enjoyed this story, I enjoyed writing it. I think the scenes I liked the most were in the garden and the whitewash. I seemed to take my time with them, I really wanted my audience to feel the moment. I am so happy it worked for you. I have to thank you too for excusing my grammar. It needs work. So I thank you one more time for taking a moment out to review my story. Report Review
This is very cute, and I love the conversations between Harry and Arthur, and then Harry and Ginny. I do think you absolutely could use a beta reader. You have a lot of grammatical errors that tend to draw attention away from the story, and with someone to read and back you up on that it would help to polish up the finished piece of writing. There are a lot of betas out there, but I would recommend looking at eHPF or somewhere you KNOW the author knows what they are doing. Other than the grammar stuff, I didn't see any major issues. It is a good beginning for a first time fic. Remember to take time to smell the roses, and not to rush too much. The scene in the garden was perfect. I could really see the gnomes, and the poor fella that got knocked into the dirt by Ginny's shovel. Very cute. That last part really showed your writing talents. Keep that feel in mind when you write. If it takes half a chapter to fully tell a scene correctly, take it. You show a lot of potential here. Good start!Author's Response: Exactly! You totally spotted my flaw. Grammar. I've just never really understood it. And your right on the BETA too. If I finish NaNo The creation is going to need it. Thanks so... much for your honest reviewing. (and taking the time off to read it) Report Review
Very very VERY GOOD! can you do a sequel, or maybe just continue the story please?Author's Response: First of all, I want to thank you for taking the time to write a review. I apreciate you giveing me your honest thought on the story. This is my first story, Ever. My go-to man was a 12 year old boy. A new story has been thought up, but it wont begin until after NaNoWriMo. (I need the practice) It should be entertaining. In closing, I like the way you review and hope to see another from you in the future. :) Report Review
If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that this was written as an entry into a challenge SIYE had a couple of months back. Even had some of the bonus point lines in it. They only had like 9 entries. You should have entered it.
You did a nice job with the story. I like the ending. It was quite original, and pretty funny. Hope you plan to write more stories! - M_AndAuthor's Response: You have a good memory and a good eye. I worked on this with a 12 year old boy, showing him how WORD worked to get ready for 6 th grade. SIYE wouldn't accept it the way it was to begin with. Your looking at my first ever story. If you notice, there is no group of slitherins, we scratched the scene to make the story flow more evenly. I am working on something, but it won't appear till after NaNoWriMo. (Would like to try to improve my Grammar.) I want to let you know that I was truely tickled pink and the kid is jumping for joy over your review. Thanks very much for taking the time and making our day. Report Review
Excellent job! I am so glad to see this posted! I hope it means that there will eventually be a few more to follow, maybe?? ;)
Anyway, I loved the ending! Now the story flows along nicely and definitely makes you smile at the end. Well done, because it leaves the reader wanting more, which means you might have to start working on another one sometime soon!Author's Response: If you were the only review I ever got, I would die a happy person. My helper is now busey in thought for something different. Thanks for reviewing me. Tlk soon! Report Review
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