Reading Reviews for Le Pari
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MaraudersForever101 Viva La France!

19th February 2010:
This is a really good story, but it's too bad that you haven't updated in like forever. But, please do when you get the chance, like I said, it's a REALLY good story.

Author's Response: Awh, thank you very much! I shall endeavour to do so, but it probably won't be for a long while I'm afraid.

Thanks again tho! :)


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Review #2, by GlisteningGold Viva La France!

26th June 2009:
Hi! It's been a looong time since you guys updated but because this chapter is really good I'm in a forgiving mood :D I really loved how Sirius kept on pointing out how sexy french is. I couldn't help but notice some mistakes in the french tho
Oui Mademoiselle Loch, moi et ma soeur je t’aime le Francais
What you said is Yes miss Loch, me and my sister I love you the french. Also in french you usually say madame to a teacher, but I'm not really sure if you want to change that because you might want to point out how teenagerisch the teacher is. I would change it into Oui madame Loch, nous adoront le français!
Un Elefant, I think in french you write elephant with ph but I could be wrong so you might want to check that.
Jacqués, I'm not sure about this one either because it might be on purpose but usually you don't use an accent on Jacques. I'm sorry if I'm annoying you with all these corrections and stuff :) Like I said your story is really good.

Author's Response: Thanks very much for your review :D

And also an uber thank you for noticing our mistakes in French. Like we said in the chapter we only used google translator seeing as we can\\\'t remember any of our secondary school french lessons (seeing as lauren didn\\\'t even take french, she took german, but whatever...)

So a big big thanks for that and we\\\'ll be redoing that when we have the time.

Thanks again, and we\\\'re glad you like the story!

-becky and lauren (:

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Review #3, by sreduaram Viva La France!

25th June 2009:
ooh you updated :) the chapter twas muchly awesome
french is definately a sexy langauge. except for the fact that i had no idea what any of it meant.
im also excited about this bet and what extents theyll go to. oh and loving the term 'mouth virgin'. update it soon :)

Author's Response: Thanks very much :D

We did provide translations at the bottom of the page, maybe we should make it more obvious? Regardless we\\\'ll be editing it a little to redo the French in it and some other stuff...

Thank you for reviewing :D And the mouth virgin line is credit to loz_potter, she invited it ;D

-becky and lauren

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Review #4, by sreduaram Fancy a Flutter?

1st February 2009:
ooh im intruiged by this bet...update soon :)
its really good. i love the characters!

Author's Response: Thank you very much, we plan to!


-becky and lauren.

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Review #5, by Nymphie Lupin Fancy a Flutter?

2nd November 2008:
LMFAO, well, I'm ba-ack. It's been so long since I've read some fan fics! This is my first since like, mid-August. I feel like I'm a negligent fangirl, you know. LOL!

Bex, you are SUCH an effing grammar nazi. *shakes head solemnly* I actually LOOKED for mistakes and couldn't find any. :P

This is, thus far, excellent. I love how natural the dialog is. It's like me talking with my friends. I can't stand when dialog in a story is awkward. You two have totally mastered the art of writing dialog. It's interesting but STILL completely believable. Great job.

I love your characterizations. I like how very extreme they are. You have the shy girl with piercings and tatoos (which is pretty much contradictory, but that's what makes it work. You'd expect her to be a total bad ass, but in straying from the stereotype, you're both capturing ACTUAL human emotions. Kudos!) Then you have Claudia who is the prankster and is totally chill. LOL, she's basically Cassie's polar opposite. But in their differences, they are still so sisterly.


I'm kind of wondering what's up with Vincent being the fave child (I'm assuming) and who the hell this "greasy haired git" is that Elizabeth is marrying... So... are you gonna tell me or am I going to have to read. :( I'd prefer being told. It's so much funner that way! :P

By the way, Lauren, your graphics are BRILLIANT! I've seen some of Bexi's new banners. They're beautiful. XD

First Chapter = 10/10 (LOL! Bex, YOU'RE SLACKING!)

Can't wait for an update!


Author's Response: Hey hey Shea! ;D

First, TY VERY MUCH FOR THE GRAMMAR CHECKING. And why exactly were you looking out for mistakes? You know I don't make any...:P

Cheers for the dialogue, that was exactly what we were going for because they're twins and speak so fluently to each other. :)

Also, thanks for the characterisations! That's what we were going for as well, we didn't want to give Claudia the piercings etc. because to be honest it would be completely stereotypical of the prankster/more outspoken one to do something like that. We like to mix it up a little ;)

Also, I think you didn't understand properly darling. Elizabeth is their mother, she is trying to get Claudia to marry the "greasy-haired git"

Can you not comprendé?! Tis Snapey :) The only greasy-haired git we like!!

(Or, you know, maybe just me. Not Lauren.)

And Vincent is like the youngest. He's got a bit of a mummy's boy thing going on. And he's Pureblooded Slytherin all the way, y'see, so mummy and daddy like that. No "Mudblood" friends, as it were.

Anywho. Lauren says cheers lots for the banner compliments! Told you she has skillz. :)

HAHA, totally slacking. ;D

Love you!!! Thanks for reviewing again!!

-becky and lauren.

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Review #6, by Marauderette Fancy a Flutter?

19th October 2008:
Well, not much has happened. But I like the start. I can tell this will be really good! So update soon, yeah?

Author's Response: Heyhey! Thanks very much for the review! We should be updating soon.

Thanks for reading! :)

-becky and lauren.

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Review #7, by Poetic_Ruby Fancy a Flutter?

19th October 2008:
Yes! I love the characters! Cassandra is my favourite (probably because I have the whole tattoo/body piercing thing going on, too lol).

Anyway, it's so far so good..

Author's Response: Hey, thanks a lot for the review! We love Cassandra too ;D

Thanks for reading!

-becky and lauren.

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Review #8, by crazy4fred2 Fancy a Flutter?

19th October 2008:
It's pretty good, but I have a few suggestions.

#1 Okay as far as their personalities go it's a little... overdone. Don't get me wrong, some of the charcteristics are realistic, like Cassandera's embarassment around Remus, although that's in most romances. But it's Claudia more that bugs me. There are many fics about devilish girls, also ones that act cooly around Sirius. That's not a bad thing, just try to make it mor original.

#2 Cassandera's piercings don't fit her character. I don't know if you intended it to be that way or not, it just stood out to me, I'm paranoid about those kinds of things. Everything should have a purpose. Also, almost all schools would never allow piercings, besides the ears.

#3 I like the sibling interaction, it's pretty believable.

#4 I didn't see any grammer or spelling issues, so kudos!

#5 My last suggestion is to plan out your charcters a bit more. Somone once told me that everything may make sense in your head, but not so much so to the reader on paper.

Overall, a good job. Keep up the work.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review, criticism is much appreciated!

1. The reason their personalities are slightly overdone is because we made them that way, we wanted people to see the immediate difference between them. It's part of the plot, though obviously we can't give it away just yet...

2. This is how we intended Cassandra to be. She's mainly only shy and clumsy when she's around Remus and it puts the point across that you should never judge a book by its cover, which is kind of the look we're going for. And also, this work is purely fiction and obviously we know that schools don't allow facial piercings, but it's just a story and we're using artistic liscence. Sorry if this annoys you.

3. Thanks very much, we are just like sisters and mainly used dialogue from everyday life.

4. HAHA, bexi is a complete grammar nazi, so thank you very much for that. :D

5. It may seem to you that we haven't planned our characters out very well but believe me, we really have. We spent several hours on this and writing the plot so everything that is written is meant to be as it is. It may not make much sense now but as the story unfolds so will their personalities and characteristics.

Thank you very much again, we appreciate your criticism and hope our feedback answers your questions and queries.

-becky and lauren.

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