Hey there, I'm here from the forums.
Firstly, I've recently decided that whenever the question is "Should I continue?", the answer is always YES. I used to ask the same question until I realized that no matter how terrible, uninteresting, or unoriginal the writing is (not that I think your story is any of those things), it will always have a positive impact on the author's ability through experience. Plus, you'll never know where the story will lead unless you get it down on paper. So I say, of course!
This looks to be a promising story. I think this chapter is a good lead on into when the events will really start to unfold because it gives just enough information to keep the reader interested, yet ends with a teeny mysterious cliffie.
One thing I'd suggest is to elaborate a little more, especially on the girls' expressions and/or feelings towards one another. If Brooke and Annie were best friends before, maybe they'd exhibit stronger emotions and not give in to Lily's plan so easily. Obviously Brooke broke one of the rules, but I had a hard time understanding exactly what had happened because the whole dialogue was short and happened so fast.
Other than that, there was nothing much to point out. There are some punctuation/grammar errors that a beta could sort out in a heartbeat.
Thanks for requesting, and good luck.
~CSG Report Review
I loved it.
it was diff. then usual marauders stories.
please continue this.
buhbye Report Review
This was a very compelling story. I liked how James isn't falling all over Lily, and how peter is normal in it, and that you included him over all.
The idea for this is simply wonderful. Those are rules to live by.. I bet that Annie gets her revenge :)
keep up the good work please.Author's Response: Im so so so glad you liked it :)
and I thought I would throw some twists in there.
Next chapter should be up very very soon. Report Review
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