Reading Reviews for I Love You
  
39 Reviews Found

Review #1, by sreduaram Beautiful days turns to dark nights

17th June 2009:
wow the next chapter will definately be eventful! i'm waiting for this random declaration of love :P this story is very entertaining and amusing as. update it soon :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it, and I\\\'m glad you seem to be enjoying it. Sadly I\\\'ve lost my groove on hpff and have been in a bad writer\\\'s block for a while. Right now I don\\\'t think I\\\'ll be able to finish this story, or any of mine on here, but hopefully that will end if I get inspired.
Thanks again!
-dramaqueen6


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Review #2, by xxxmisspotterxxx/ellie. (who can't log i because she forgot  Welcome to madness

22nd March 2009:
Seriously. Me and passwords do *not* mix. I can never do my CiDA homework, 'cause I always forget my password. I have to tell Meg my passwords so i can actually log in during lessons.
Ah, sorry. Mindless rambling over.

You asked if it was 'okay', and I am here to tell you that it is sooo much better than ok!! I love it!!

(It's written really hypnotising-ly. If you get what I mean (It's a good thing. Honest))


But I think the biggest thing is that James is a tart. A man tart, if you will.

I love that!! (And my English teacher would be happy that males were being referred to as 'tarts'- that was a fun lecture.)

And I love the fact that James is arguing back with Lily. (As much as I love non-arguing James, he has to grow a backbone at some point, eh?)

And the pranks!! (I may have to steal some of them!! lol.)

So, sorry for not reviewing earlier, I will be back to review the other chapter when my dad isn't glaring at me cause I'm typing too loud, and I utterly love this. It totally rules.

Lots of love,
elliexoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Author's Response: Ellie! My favorite e-pal! I thought you didn't go on hpff anymore!

Haha, don't mind rambling. I do it all the time. Thanks so much for reading this though! Yeah we've had lectures about tarts too. Like Curley's wife in of mice and men.

And of course! James is far more attractive with a backbone. lol. It helps him stand.

Aw, thanks! You are my favorite (well only) e-pal.

Love love love,
Christy


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Review #3, by a_m_y_p_o_t_t_e_r Beautiful days turns to dark nights

2nd March 2009:
Hey, this story rocks! I am like obsessed with lily and James stories and I have been looking for a good one lately cos I couldn't find any and then I found this story and I was like WOW lol :D it's a great story idea and different than most other stories about them so it's really cool. Keep it up, keep writing more of this story it's amazing !

--amy :)

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much! I really appreciate it. And I'm glad that you liked it. Yeah I'm also a big fan of Lily/James! I'm glad you think it's different! That's what I think too, but a lot of tough reviewers that have reviewed have been all "No it's not different, get over it." So that's been hard to deal with.BUt I'm glad that YOU think so!

Love,
dramaqueen6


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Review #4, by Starved4Romance Beautiful days turns to dark nights

28th February 2009:
This sounds like a really good story, keep up the fantastic work!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you like it so far! I really wish I could tell you that I've been hard at work on this story, but I haven't had much time for that. And lately my writers block is striking at random times, leaving me completely useless. But I promise that I will try to get some work done on chapter three. I really will try...

Anyway, thanks again!
-dramaqueen6


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Review #5, by Lindsey Welcome to madness

24th February 2009:
It's AWESOME! Keep on writing!:)

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I'm so glad you liked it. Don't worry, I'll try to have the next chapter up in a few weeks. I know that may seem long, but life is so crazy! I barely have any time to write.

Anyway, thanks again!

-dramaqueen6


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Review #6, by LeAnna Beautiful days turns to dark nights

24th February 2009:
i like it. 10/10. cant wait for the rest.

Author's Response: Aw, I'm so glad you like it! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I'll be sure to get the next chapter up soon.

-dramaqueen6


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Review #7, by maraudersmap Beautiful days turns to dark nights

17th February 2009:
Although few important things happened in this chapter, I liked it a lot. We got to see how their fights really are, and that was very interesting. We also got to see who Lily's friends are, who she associate with, and so on. I liked that the former leader of James's fan club has joined team Lily, as I thought that was original. The mention of Frank and Alice was very cute. :)

I loved James and Lily's interaction in this chapter. It made me laugh, especially when James was embarrassed because of his fly. :P So far, I adore how you've portrayed their relationship. Your description of James was very sexy, by the way. ;) One thing, though: He burned her essay?! That's low, James.

Your writing is good, but I did spot a few present/past tense mistakes. You might want to proofread it, or maybe even get a beta.

I'm a little unsure about the American themed food night. It was too random. And a muggle television wouldn't work at Hogwarts, so that part wasn't my favourite. Please update soon. :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it, again.

1. Yes, Scarlette is an OC of mine that made a guest appearance. She is from my other story, From Hatred to Love, and I couldn't resist having her pop by for a moment.

2. Thank you! I'm glad the description of him was sexy, because he definitely is! lol. And yes, about the essay. Sometimes boys just take it too far...haha.

3. Ah, yes I should probably go back soon and get some editing on the past/present tense issue. Thanks for pointing that out!

4. Why wouldn't a muggle television work at hogwarts? As for the american themed night, I know that it is a bit random, but I felt that this little bit of humor might be enjoyed. And I know that it doesn't exactly benefit the plot at all, but I kind of liked it, myself.

Thanks again!

-dramaqueen6


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Review #8, by maraudersmap Welcome to madness

17th February 2009:
Hullo, this is maraudersmap from the forum. :) I'm terribly sorry about the huge delay, but here I finally am.

Alright, so first of all, let me thank you for requesting a James/Lily fic. I love that ship. I enjoy every J/L fic, even the really bad ones. Now, I don't want you to worry: This is defenitely not a bad story. As a matter of fact, it's great!

English isn't my first language, so I can't comment on grammar/spelling. I do think that your writing is wonderful, however. This sentence, though, is a little awkward: "And I know this is going to sound so clishe and so over-used, but it all started a few weeks ago, when our story truly and officially starts." You see?

Lily's voice is sweet, humorous and Lily-ish, and I think that you've captured her personality perfectly. You must be careful not to turn her into angry!Lily all the time, though. Their relationship up until now seems very interesting, but it might be slightly clished. I like that James isn't so desperate anymore, and that she likes to fight with him. It's a nice touch.

This first chapter amused me, and it made me want more. So without further ado, I'm moving on to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Hello, thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you liked it, and I really appreciate that you took the time to do this.

1. Oh! I see what you mean. Yeah that sentance always felt awkward to me, so I will break it up into two sentances to fix the flow. Thanks for pointing that out!

2. Yeah I didn't want Lily and James to suddenly be in love, so I figured that the best way to break the ice would be to make them fight, and make james hate her in return! Then they could enjoy fighting, and somehow see how they are meant to be. I know that sounds somewhat weird and impossible, but to me, I think it works. lol.

So anyway, thanks again!

-dramaqueen6


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Review #9, by jetaway Beautiful days turns to dark nights

14th January 2009:
Hi there, again. :)

Honestly, I have to say that your story seems to be like many other Lily / James stories that I have read. As of now, the general plot scheme seems to be one which many other authors have explored during the Marauder era.

Nearing the end of the chapter I was expecting Lily to question what she overheard James and Peter talking about. We know she's not stupid and I was suprised that you didn't have her going over in her mind possibilites of Remus' secret. She might not have been able to guess Remus' problem, but I was expecting her to develop some theories.

Plus, I doubt that Lily would refer to Severus as Snape. They were friends after all, and even though they gradually drifted apart, I'm sure that Lily still has a soft spot for him.

I wish you luck in differentiating your story from all the other Marauder fics. Feel free to request for more reviews.

Happy Writing!

- Jessica

Author's Response: Thanks for checking out the next chapter! I appreciate that.

1. I usually like to think of my story as different, but I get what you mean...I honestly don't have much to say except that I'm a little disappointed. I mean no offence to you at all, but this review has left me a pretty down hearted. I appreciate the honesty though.

2. Ah. Yes I will try to edit that when I get the chance. Of course Lily would be questioning.ah, silly me. But there will be more info in the next chapter about that as well.

Thanks for reading.

-dramaqueen6


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Review #10, by jetaway Welcome to madness

14th January 2009:
Hey there! It's Jessica, or jetaway from the forums, here to review. First off, I would like to apologize for taking so long to review. I'm honestly really sorry for making you wait for this long. :

For the story itself, I have to say that I've never been a huge fan of Lily/James stories, namely because so many of them are the same, more or less. Frankly, right now your story seems to be set on the same track as all those others, but I'm interested in seeing how you try and set your story apart from the rest.

Your first paragraph is good. It's a cute little way to introduce your story and it grabs the attention of the reader in a sufficient manner.

But I think the biggest thing is that James is a tart. A man tart, if you will.

That would have to be my favorite line. It made me laugh, man tart! :)

I think there are some areas where the flow of your writing gets disrupted here and there. For example, "Now, one thing youíve got to understand about me is that I have been stalked, humiliated and worshipped by James Potter for the past six years, at our school, Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Oh, and by the way, Iím a witch."

The 'Oh, and by the way, I'm a witch' is unecessary and it also disrupts the flow of what you were saying initially. You were continuing on this train of thought then all of a sudden you disrupted it with something that the reader doesn't need to know. I'd advise you to just cut that sentence out.

In some cases your writing can get choppy, I would advise you to mix up your sentence structure. And also to vary the ways you begin your sentences. In a couple instances you start two back-to-back sentences with the same word. If you simply rearrange your sentences so that that doesn't happen, then I'm sure you will see a great improvement in your writing and the flow between your sentences.

Off to the next chapter!

- Jessica

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it.

1. Oh, I'm sorry that you don't like Lily/James! I probably shouldn't have requested a review, because most of the time dislike of a subject can get in the way of a review. But that's okay, I'm glad you reviewed it anyway!

2. Yeah I've gotten a lot of crap about the 'oh by the way I'm a witch' line. But I don't want to take it out. I understand that it can seem like a disruptance, but I think of it more as a character choice. Lily is going on and on about her love, and she totally forgets to say that she's a witch, becaue assuming this is a real novel, the readers would have no idea. But I understand why you thought I should take it out, a lot of people think so!

3. Yeah I've been meaning to get a beta for this story. Usually I do okay myself, but I did post this chapter in a rush, without spending a lot of time editing. So once I get time, I can see about doing that.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

-dramaqueen6


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Review #11, by I am Lily_hear me roar Beautiful days turns to dark nights

9th January 2009:
really awesome!! please update soon. you cant just leave people hanging like this!! they will start the kiwi throwing you know. :D jk

~lily O.o

Author's Response: Haha, thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it!

Oh no! I can see them coming toward my house with pitchforks and...kiwi's! I better get on that next chapter!

I'm really glad that you liked this one.

-dramaqueen6


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Review #12, by aurora Beautiful days turns to dark nights

8th January 2009:
you have a really mature writing style. it is thought out and actually seems like a real published book. keep it up!

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much! I really appreciate your review. It was so nice! I'm so glad you think my writing is mature! I guess it's naturally like that; mature, while I also write in a very simple way, for anyone to understand.

So I'm glad you liked this chapter. I really appreciate the review.
Thanks for checking out this story.

-dramaqueen6


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Review #13, by Blithe Beautiful days turns to dark nights

3rd January 2009:
AHh DON'T STOP PLEASE KEEP GOING!!
*ahem*
yeah, the story seems pretty good ;P

Author's Response: Ah, thanks so much! I'm glad you like it. And never fear! I will not give up on this story. I love it too much. There will most likely be two chapters after this. One about the whole Snape-whomping willow fiasco, and then another that puts in the quote and also finishes up the story.

So anyway, thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it.

-dramaqueen6


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Review #14, by Permantently_confused22 Beautiful days turns to dark nights

2nd January 2009:
Never fear, I am here!
It's taken me too long, i know, but better late than never, right? Anyways.ooh. Scarlette. Glad she's not the antagonist this time around, thats a nice change of pace. And i loved that passage about the first years. It's also going to be highly interesting to hear Lily's take on the Whomping Willow incident. Hmm..i cant wait!
Your tardy, typo making friend,
Bella

Author's Response: I could cackle now.Well yeah you were right. This review did cheer me up. You were right, indeed. How rare. Aha, just kidding.

Yeah I couldn't resist putting in a guest appearance from dear ole' Scarlette. She's nice as a non antagonist.

Yeah I haven't written the whomping willow incident yet, but I think it'll be fun. I have to write the newest chapter of LIfe goes on first. Eh. I have writers block with that story. I'll try though.

Anyway, adios! Tardy is better than never!

Your somewhat evil Merrill loving friend,
Luce


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Review #15, by Hermione Potter452 Beautiful days turns to dark nights

29th December 2008:
HI!

ooohh. i like the ending. sneaky. i like it. haha. and haahhaha! i like the "stupid frolicking first years." that was funny. and the james's fly. hahah. oh, lily. why ever would you looking in that particular area?? haha. looove it!

and i just wanna say that your writing in present tense is interesting to read. i don't think i've read one that's consistent with present tense. i dig it.

awesome chapter!!

~ Danica

p.s. umm...i usually don't bring up my own work in reviews, so that i don't sound self-centered, but you're an awesome reviewer for my story and you actually favorited me! haha. sooo...just if you were wondering, you know...

i finished the final chapter of A Subtle Touch Unseen. EEE!!

have a nice day!!! and a wonderful break!

Author's Response: Ah!!! Thanks so much. I really appreciate it. Oh I love it when I read someone's stories, and they read mine too. It's fun. Uh that was random.Yeah.

Yeah, that Lily! I don't know why she would be looking there either, but it seemed like the perfect insult to put James back in his place!

Really? I'm glad the present tense worked out. Because as I was writing it I had to keep going back and editing where I would accidentally slip up and go back to past tense. hahaha.It's definitely very different to write in present tense.

Yes! I'm so loving Subtle Touch Unseen right now! It's one of the only OC/OC stories I've ever read, but its just so good! I'm sad that its ending though. A sequel would be lovely! Hint hint...

So anyway, thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked it.

-dramaqueen6


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Review #16, by MrsNorris17 Beautiful days turns to dark nights

28th December 2008:
oh no! she can't go onto the grounds at full moon! :O
great chapter, hope the wait for the next one wont be as long! :P

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it. Yeah this chapter was half filler and half 'get some information out'. So yes. We'll see what happens on full moon, when Lily sneaks out...lol.

Yeah I'm so sorry for taking so long to get this chapter up! I had a massive writers block that was so bad I couldn't even write an essay for school. So I think I've got the juices flowing for this story once again. And the next chapter I will try to get up sooner.

Thanks again!

-dramaqueen6


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Review #17, by gwen marie Beautiful days turns to dark nights

28th December 2008:
Hey, I read through both chapters you have posted so far and thought they were fantastic! When it comes to writing, I just wanted to make sure you realize that it's always going to be impossible to please everyone. I think that the voice you have chosen for Lily is wonderful, and the casual tone to the story makes it a nice, relaxing, and enjoyable read. They part about James' fly being down made my laugh. :)

Anyway, I feel this story is turning out great so far, so please continue!

~~~gwen

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much! You have totally made my day. I really appreciate the review. Yeah, I have gotte some negative response to this. Not very much, and no flames or anything. But it's nice to hear that you like it! Positivity is wonderful.

And of course, I will definitely be continuing. I think there will be two more chapters. So four in all of the story.

Thanks again! I appreciate it.

-dramaqueen6


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Review #18, by nickie02 Beautiful days turns to dark nights

27th December 2008:
Another great chapter. I am excited to see what going to happen in the next chapter. I want to know what happens when Lily sees what the boys really are up to.

10/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it. I'd been working on this chapter for a while, so I'm glad to see that my hard work is hopefully paying off.

-dramaqueen6


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Review #19, by nickie02 Welcome to madness

27th December 2008:
I liked the start of your story, I really want to see where you take this to.

One comment I do have is to watch your wording choices. You have one part where you write that you don't know when the war started, and then in the next line you talk about the moment it started. Just trying to help you out.

Author's Response: Ah, thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it. I'm glad the start of it worked out.

Oh and yeah I will definitely have to go back to fix that. I meant to say that she didn't know exactly how it turned to war, but she did know what the first battle was. But I'll add it to my list of edits.

Thanks again.

-dramaqueen6


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Review #20, by Hermione Potter452 Welcome to madness

22nd December 2008:
hi! it's me! haha.

wowza! i really really really like this! this chapter was a perfect beginning. i mean it. i love that there's no dialogue (which is usually the substance of my being), yet it was STILL really engaging. i was interested, all the way through it. you wrote this really really well! and i keep saying the word "really," but i can't think of another word to express how much i REALLY do like this story ALREADY! hahah.

i love the "and the worst was when he came to my house and asked my parents for my hand in marriage."

hahaha! twas hilarious. there were a lot of other funny parts too. i just don't remember. hahah. keep it up!! i have a feeling that this story is gonna turn out brilliantly! update soon!!

~ Danica

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much Danica! I appreciate your review. Yes, I actually just sent out the next chapter for validation. So that should hopefully be up soon.

-dramaqueen6


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Review #21, by Vanity_Fair Welcome to madness

15th December 2008:
Ohh I like it :)! I hope you update soon I can't wait to find out what happens x3

Author's Response: Ah, thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yeah I'll hopefully update in the next week or two. I'm still in the middle of writing the chapter, but I haven't had enough time to just sit down and get through it. Plus I've had the worst writers block! Even school essays stump me!

-dramaqueen6


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Review #22, by bespontaneous Welcome to madness

14th December 2008:
it was good.
more than good, amazing.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much! I appreciate you taking the time to review. I'm working on the next chapter currently...So that should hopefully be up in a week or two. I've had a writers block, so I want this chapter to be as good as it can to follow the first one!

-dramaqueen6


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Review #23, by harrypotterhugefanforever Welcome to madness

14th December 2008:
Hi, I'm here for your review.

Firstly, I love it. You got characteristics done, discriptions and even supplied a little bit of comic relief with the war.

I couldn't find any spelling mistakes, although I did find one problem with a sentence. You wrote: We're like opposites.
I suggest you take out the 'like' because it doesn't really need to be there. If you are writing, and it isn't speech, 'like' isn't a word you normally use. Make sense?

I see that you use "AND" and "BUT" to start a sentence and paragraphs. In english, it is sort of an unwritten rule that you don't start a sentence with those words. Most people, myself included, do use those two words, so I just wanted to tell you.

The first paragraph is a wonderful way to start off this story. It captures attention and draws you into the story.

A couple of paragraphs after that you wrote: Oh, and by the way, I'm a witch.
This sentences isn't really needed. People already know that she is a witch by the sentence before, the one that said: at our school, Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

This sentence: So I've always had my hatred for James as a cushion, almost.
You don't really need the "almost" at the end. You also don't need the "so" at the start, you could just have "I've"

Good work!

-Amy

Author's Response: All right thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it.

1. With using 'like' I think it sort of fits, because of the conversational tone of the writing. Though if its too annoyingly teenage girl, I can take a look at that. I'm probably going to have someone beta this chapter sometime soon, just to make sure its good, because I didn't have it beta-d originally.

2. Yeah, my english teachers are always telling us about that rule, but I just can't seem to keep it! I think its hard not to follow it because I used such a conversational tone in this, like it was someone actually talking.

But yeah, thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'll be sure to keep these things in mind when I get this chapter edited.

-dramaqueen6


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Review #24, by TwilightPrincess Welcome to madness

14th December 2008:
I didn't really see this story as any other story where the characters start out hating each other and then they end up together. That storyline in a romance really makes no sense to me. I can't understand how anyone can truly hate someone, and then morph into love, of all things. You talked about her hatred for James being a cushion, which is usually what this storyline holds, except the characters don't acknowledge it. So that's about the only originality I see in this storyline.

This chapter kind of left me wanting more, though. I sort of felt like you said a lot of words but you didn't really say anything. I liked your opening, but I would have liked to see more of what you were talking about. You went back and forth on your ideas and the flow wasn't magnificent on me. I think you were trying so hard to draw out the beginning without giving too much away, that you went in circles around your thoughts and sometimes contradicted yourself.

I'm not a Twilight fan, but that has no influence on my opinion of this story, I promise. I didn't really care for the voice you chose, but only when you were actually talking to the reader. I didn't like this line: "Oh, and by the way, I'm a witch." It just seems so childish to me. And kind of random in its placement. Also, at the end you wrote: "And I know this is going to sound so cliche and so over-used, but it all started a few weeks ago, when our story truly and officially starts. So dive in." Yes, it is cliche and overused, and addressing that fact doesn't make it okay. Cliches are cliches. By starting the sentence with that phrase, it only emphasizes even more the fact that you used a cliche. It made me look for it. If you're going to use a cliche, use one. No parade or fanfare.

Even though you went back and forth on your thoughts in this, I went with them. Now I'm interested to see where the story starts. Keep working!

Ganbare! Tanoshinde ^_^

.:.Ilia.:.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the time you took to do so.

1. I'm glad you noticed the differences in other hate to love stories. I think I made it more obvious on purpose, just to show that I really care about making my story different, and not like all the other Lily/James stories.

2. Really? Because recently I went through to edit this first chapter, because someone else mentioned contradicting myself a few times, and the circles thing too. I couldn't find it though.I don't know I didn't use a beta for this story because my usual beta has been weening herself away from hpff. I am not sure I want to go through with finding a new one. I mean...I don't know. I guess I could. Do you know of any that you would recommend?

3. Actually my story is only using a quote from Twilight, so that really won't be a problem. It's not a crossover or anything.

4. I don't know...Personally I liked ending it that way. And I felt that Lily would be kind of...not one to use a cliche unless she was like "I know its totally stupid and everything". I thought of it as more of a character choice. But when I go through to edit I'll be sure to look at that when deciding whether to keep it.

Thanks so much for taking the time to do this. I really wanted this first chapter to draw readers in, so I'm glad it seemed to do that.

-dramaqueen6


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Review #25, by LucyLovegood Welcome to madness

14th December 2008:
Hey, leaving a review like you asked!

I really like the conversational tone you use with this story, it works really well and helps develop Lily's characterisation really fast. But there were a few spots, were it seemed almost gratuitous, as in, you just didn't even need to say it - "our school, the Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Oh, and by the way, Iím a witch." - for example. The man whore thing too stuck out a bit! It seemed a bit over the top and OOC for Lily - for me, anyway. Apart from that, I'm intrigued as to where this story will go as you've given so much backstory. Everything you discussed in this chapter could make up a really terrific story in itself! I loved the humour - the marriage proposal made me LOL! I can totally see that happening! Nice work and good luck with the rest of the story!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate the critique mainly because I haven't gotten much besides positive feedback yet!

1. The part where she said the Hogwarts of Witchcraft and Wizardry thing, and the 'I'm a witch' statement, were yes, stating the obvious. But in my stories I like to have the character explain where they are and what they are, even though every single fan fiction reader on here already knows. It makes it feel more like an actual story/book.

2. As for the man whore, I think you are right. I guess that is a bit OOC. I guess I could go with a less promiscuous meaning word.Like, tart? Because tart is just a shameless flirt. Or I could go with the usual name of 'player' for a guy. THough I'm more reluctant to do that. I think I'll see if tart works.

Anyway, thanks so much again, for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you thought those parts were funny.

-dramaqueen6


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