this is great, keep writing as quick as possable,
i love the way you've recognised the truth behind most of the secrets of us marauders, and using the mirrors, that was a good idea, i think you should try having sirius breaking down when he hears a rumor that sam is getting worse, or something, it would add more insight to his caring, and perhaps have him breaking into the hospital wing the night after this chapter, and sitting by sam bed and she wakes up and they have a big discussion about eachother and end up together, or something, it would help make things more.romantic.
also, Me comforting lily about what she did and some insight as to what she's thinking whilst I'm comforting her.
James (Please forgive where i mention myself as James Potter, for everyone around my house, town and school call me and my friends James Sirius Remus and Peter. dont know why but we've used their names for 3 years.)Author's Response: thank you, i think your ideas are great, and i think i can work them in. and you and your friends being known as the marauders, that made me laugh. i will do my best to update soon. and i tried to provide reasons for the marauders being the way they were, and i'm glad you found it credible. and i hope you likethe next chapter, as well. Report Review
OMFG! I FREAING LOVE THIS CHAPPY! when will you update again?Author's Response: thx. i'll do my best. i have so much work, but i want to update a lot. so i'll do my best to make it soon :D Report Review
the story line is going great and i like your writing, but i think you need to go through it more as there are quite a few mistakes in it. and i know quite a few people who won't read a fic if the grammar and such isn't right, annoying i know. if you want a beta i'm free so you can email me at: hawtn001 at wsgfl dot org dot uk (you can't put email addresses in reviews)
anyway the story. don't worry about the length of chapters too much; if there is a clear ending to it then don't try and force it. quality not quantity. but i suppose both is nice :D
can i just say that i love that james is a seeker in this story. a lot of fics put him as the chaser but in the books he was a seeker.
so keep writing and if you want a beta i can help!
Dilys :)Author's Response: i really appreciate your encouragement and the beta offer, but i have so much work right now, i don't know if i can take you up one that. once i have some free time, i probably will, though. if you have any major suggestions, things you feel that i should definitely change, feel free to let me know, and i will do my best to see what i can do. and i really appreciate the interest you took in my story. thank you! Report Review
you wrote that he asked her out for a dare in third year twice and i think it would read better if you didn't. but i love it so far!
Dilys :)Author's Response: i don't know, i think i can work that in later, but i'm not sure yet. maybe when i'm closer to the end, i'll rethink that whole part. and i'm so glad that you like it! Report Review
I think you've made a nice beginning. I liked how you did the introductions of the characters (and their descriptions) in this chapter.
I'm looking forward to reading more of the story.Author's Response: Thank you so much! I hope you like the rest of the story as well! Report Review
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