24 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Nitenel Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

20th June 2010:
Yeah just click on my first review. www . bellatrixlestrange. weebly . com
Sorry had to write it like that so it wouldn't be considered spam. :)

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Review #2, by nitenel Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

27th May 2010:
OK, I have to say I love this story. As I said before, it's very weird, but that's what makes it great! I recently started a website about Bellatrix. If you are interested in having a link to this story, please contact me! Just leave a review one one of my stories or something!

-Nitenel

Author's Response: Oh, I wrote this as a bit of a joke for a challenge. I was really trying to come up with the most random and nonsensical thing ever and hopefully make people laugh. I quite like Bellatrix in a dark sort of way. I love how Helena plays her in the films also. Yes, sure I'd love a link to your website. I will contact you through one of your stories. Do you write under the same penname?

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Review #3, by nitenel Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

26th March 2010:
this has got to be the weirdest fanfic ever!

Author's Response: Oh, I hope so. I wrote it as part of a challenge to see who could come up with the stupidest, worse written one-shot, so I'm pleased that I achieved what I set out to do. Of course my other fanfics are hopefully rather different. I hope you enjoyed it though.

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Review #4, by TheDirigiblePlum Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

27th July 2009:
:D so random, with funny lines throughout. :D

And indeed Bellaís prophecy came true and they all become members of a swinging club for ghosts which was meant to improve relations between Muggleborns and Death Eaters.

This paragraph really cracked me up. :D :D This story was so funny, but it was so random that I can't really think of a proper review!

Anyway, it was great. :)

10/10 :D

Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad I made you laugh. It was definitely meant to be random. I wrote it for a challenge which basically consisted in crumping together as many cliches and bad writing as possible.

It shameful how easy I found it to write! *blushes*


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Review #5, by Early in the morning Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

16th May 2009:
This is the most wonderful story ever written by any member of the human race.

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this very coherent and realistic story. lol

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope I made you laugh.


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Review #6, by datbenik513 Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

15th May 2009:
First things first, your spell checker is terribly outdated. Hit Dialectizer in Google and choose the "Swedish Chef" option for a more up-to-date version of English.

Brilliant idea to put Harry down in this fic as one with Oedipus complex. Only, I don't understand why are you lying about his parents? Don't you know that Snape is actually Harry's father?

Also I wanted more on Harry's sister. Your descriptions on her are incomplete and vague. She's of course an American exchange student with superpower, ain't she? Of course it would all have been imminent after she and Harry had had sex for the first time.

I'm utterly disappointed with the overwhelming presence of your common sense. Therefore I can give no other score but an 11 out of 10.

Zoltan

* hysteric laughter finally stopped *

Author's Response: Actually, I did this for a challenge and it's very embarrassing although it was fun to write. I felt a bit bitchy by pointing out this catalogue of bad fanfic elements. At one point I got worried that some of the younger readers may take offence.

I'm glad I made you laugh.


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Review #7, by Trixy_Black Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

7th February 2009:
LOL I don't think I've laughed this hard in ages! Best fanfic I've read! 10/10

Author's Response: Glad to hear it. It was meant to be absolutely attrocious! I'm glad to hear I achieved it! lol

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.


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Review #8, by SiriuslyPeeved Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

17th January 2009:
I guess the swinging ghost club would remove the problem of all those unintended pregnancies. or would it?? This was very funny -- thanks!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Barbara started a thread called "the worst story ever" and that was the inspiration for this monstruousity. Yes, all these silly pregnancies! I had a good time writing this and a good laugh, although it almost makes me die of shame! *blushes*

I'm glad I made you laugh. x


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Review #9, by kittymayhem Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

28th December 2008:
OMG that's hillarious! And indeed Bellaís prophecy came true and they all become members of a swinging club for ghosts which was meant to improve relations between Muggleborns and Death Eaters. I couldn't stop laughing! 10/10

Author's Response: I'm glad I made you laugh. I was a bit embarrassed about this to begin with because it came to me rather effortlessly, which is worrying. lol

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Review #10, by gryffindorseeker Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

12th November 2008:
I wish there was a better way to express uncontrollable laughter online than by using emoticons or silly acronyms, but I'm at a loss here. This story was phenomenally preposterous in all the best ways! I suppose I wasn't even aware that there were Harry/Bellatrix fics out there begging to be mocked, but you did a splendid job packing a large number of cliches into a concise number of words and poking fun at just how crazy they are. I loved all the threatening and irritating author's notes and the use of Muggle technology (plus a number of things I can't quote in a 12+ review), but what I mean to say is that I loved this little fic! 10/10.

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Kelly. I'm glad I made you laugh so hard. Now, at one stage I felt a bit bitchy for writing this. I guess I don't mind the odd cliche but well, writing a combination of many of them just sounded like too much fun. I don't think I have ever read anything nearly this bad but I know there are very odd ships out there. I think Harry has been paired up with just about anyone (probably even the Giant Squid). Again I don't mind odd ships as long as some effort has been put into making them moderately feasible. The trouble is that, unless someone is almost a genius it is hard to do in a one shot. For instance, in my main fic (the novel lenght) Draco undergoes very dramatic changes but it happens very slowly and it has nothing to do with romance. I almost dedicate 10 lengthy chapters to make him want to help Harry in some sort of capacity and the circumstances I put him in make it happen. By contrast, I wanted this to be completely random.

The threatening author notes I believe they are now forbidden in this site but it comes to show that people did put them in at one stage. The Muggle technology, yes, again, I use some in my main fic but I hope I qualify sufficiently why they have to live, at least in part, in the Muggle world. Again, I wanted the language to be very crude and not very tasteful. I'm okay with the odd swearing word in dialogue by never by a third person narrator and in moderation. I hate it when people use the f word every two seconds as a substitute for proper vocabulary.

I'm so, sooo... please that you find this a good laugh. x


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Review #11, by sazel_c Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

28th October 2008:
Hey. OMG, I'm sitting in my office having a quick break, and I was trying not to laugh out loud, but it was really difficult. This story was really funny! I was like shaking with merth in my seat. That death eater voice mail cracked me up and the printer running out of paper. Really good stuff, I love it! Different from your usual every day fanfic, that's for sure. Nice work!

Sarah.

Author's Response: I'm so glad that I made you laugh so much. The voice mail was my way of venting anger about the companies that put you on hold in real life for like 20 minutes at a time and claim that your call is important! Arg!!!

I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it.


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Review #12, by Rose Aleera Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

26th October 2008:
...uhm...
What should I say?
...odd?!?
I'm shocked, I...
...haha! I had fun reading!

Author's Response: Sorry it has taken me so long to reply but I was on holiday with no internet connection.

I'm glad you found it funny. I really don't think it could have come out much worse!

Thanks for the review.


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Review #13, by Pookha Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

23rd October 2008:
Pffft, that's the sound of all the water that I had been drinking being expelled with great force from the laughter your story inspired.

I would love to quote bits of the story in the review, but reviews need to stay 12+. Here's my attempt at commenting.

I actually have read one of those type of Draco/Myrtle stories on another site and I know exactly what you mean about them.

The last line makes me think of Voldy in a disco leisure suit dancing at Studio 54 with Ginny and Hermione hanging off him waiting to...

I really liked the author's notes asides in the story as well.

I must say that I never understood those who picture Ginny as promiscuous, I don't care for Ginny, but I wouldn't paint her that way and you do an excellent job parodying this.

Hilarious.

Author's Response: Oh, I'm glad I made you laugh so much. I thought that this might have sounded a little bit bitchy against some inexperience authors but people seem to be finding it funny.

Yes, I thought that sex with a ghost was something rather weird. I also made the language in this story very crude on purpose. I do use the odd swear word but only very occasionally in my main story. I would certainly never get the narrator to speak like that, especially not in third person.

Now I love your image re Studio 54! lol

The author notes in the middle of the story and about unconnected this, yes. I does annoy me when people do this.

The answer phone business was a way for me to get out of my chest how I feel in real life when I get this messages and I get put on hold for like 20 minutes.

My comment about Ginny was certainly my way to avenge the girl. She is one of my favourite characters and yeah, just because she went out with a couple of boys before Harry. What does this make Harry himself and Ron, of all people? Very few people end up marrying the first person they ever dated, after all. If this is what these people think about Ginny, I wonder what they would make of me! Scary! lol

Thanks so much. I really, really appreciate your review.


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Review #14, by magicalperfect Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

22nd October 2008:
Oh. My. Goodness. That was a hilarious one-shot! It was like the cliche factory blew up and spilled all over this page. Every idea you included made me laugh even more and it didn't seem like it could get any funnier. But the line near the end about the Dark Lord killing them so that they can have orgies in the after life together made me fall out of my seat. Honestly, this was such a good example of bad ideas but amazing writing. My drama teacher always tells me how it's so difficult to be a good actor trying to portray a bad actor. But this must have been much more difficult. Even though you wrote this for the sake of pure humor, you can still tell that you are a good writer. I admire that a lot.

I hope I'm not rude, but I just have to mention how funny the last review you received was. She's obviously trying to be so sweet in telling you that this one-shot sucked, in her eyes, but it was all intentional in the first place. Ah the hilarity when reviewers don't read any warnings about the actual story in the first place. Great job again! If I didn't already mention that. (:

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm really pleased that I made you laugh. I love your metaphor about the cliche factory! lol There are various threads about cliches and peeves and I just couldn't resist writing something like this.

The scary thing is that I managed to write this very quickly, so bad writing seems to come to me quite naturally but yes, I had a good idea as to possible cliches to include, the instant knowledge about pregnancy bugs a lot of people, the use of mobile phones without explanation, the author's notes in the middle and the random sexual interactions.

Actually, that particular reviewer confused me a bit as well. She is actually a friend of mine and at first I thought that she was being serious and I was wondering how she hadn't noticed that this was a parody. However, she then told me that she was sort of pretending to take the story seriously. Re-reading her review told me that she was trying to be funny too, when she says thinks like "everyone knows that in fanfic Snape gets off with Lily and that Harry is his child," for instance but I must admit, I didn't get it at first either.

Thanks so much for your wonderful compliments. Maybe someone should put something like that in a cliche tutorial. I honestly didn't think I could make it much worse! x


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Review #15, by Bella_Portia Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

16th October 2008:
This should be the staff tutorial for something. I'm just not sure what.

There were a lot of things wrong with this story. I don't mean to be harsh, but I think that if you're going to post a story, you have to take CC.

1. I didn't understand why Bella got Voldemort's voicemail. Because he was all powerful, he would have had caller ID on his phone; and because she was his most favored Death Eater, he would have taken her call. Case closed.

2. Severus Snape would not have been sleeping with Harry's sister. Everybody knows that, in fanfic, Severus Snape slept with Harry's mother and Harry is his real son. Therefore, if he slept with Harry's sister, it would be incense.

3. Where Harry asks Severus to gather daisies for him in a way that indicated is whole life depended on it, that is a very Mary Sue way to put it. I don't know why it is. It just is.

4. Severus should not have given Harry a love potion because I personally think slash is too icky to contemplate. It should all go straight into a paper shredder. That is just my personal opinion. That I don't want to impose on anyone else. Paper shredder. All of it. My opinion. Also, see number 2. I think that they being incensed makes it even yukier still.

5. Ginny marrying Neville was totally OOC. She would have married Oliver Wood. Obviously. (But your right she is a ho.)

6. What's a concubine? Is that more slashy stuff? Excuse me while I gag.

7. Ghosts can't [am I allowed to say the F word in a review?] No matter how hard they try. So that part about Myrtle was totally unbelievable.

8. Oh, Harry is just making this stuff up? Cool.

9. It just occurred to me that Bella is, like, old enough to be Harry's mother. And not a particularly young mother, at that. I checked the Lexicon. She was born in '50. He was born in '80. So if he's 18, she's . . . she must look damn good for pushing 50.

But, what the heck. Harry probably has mother issues, so I totally buy this ship!

And, of course: Keep writing, sweetie.

Author's Response: Bella, I wrote this for a challlenge in which I was suppose to write the worst story ever!!! I beleve my dsclaimer said something to this effect! lol I tried to make the language awful, characterisation worse. It ia in essence, incoherent! I did try to do my worst, honestly...

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Review #16, by 2kool4skool Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

16th October 2008:
This was hilarious. My favourite parts were definately the authors notes. I also loved Harry's text talk. This was a brilliant parody of our pet peeves. I love the instant pregnancy. It reminds me of the story I once read where Angelina was sure she was pregnant because she had her period in first year, even though she was then in her fourth year. Gotta love it! ;)

Author's Response: Oh, I replied to this yesterday but somehow it doesn't show so I'll do this again.

Thanks so much. I'm glad I made you laugh. Yes, the Angelina story you mention was part of the inspiration for the pregnancy thing. Maybe there should be a tutorial on facts of life in the tutorial section somewhere. lol


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Review #17, by Ron_Hermione_Forever_246 Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

16th October 2008:
Oh my - I laughed so hard!!! I couldn't join this contest, because I sat down and started writing and wanted to throw up. This was just awesome, however! I think my fave was Bellatrix saying that she's pregnant to Harry right after they had sex - I HATE that. And the poor grammar, of course. Well done, Victoria!

Author's Response: Thanks so much Teresa. Yes, the instant knowledge about pregnacy does bug me a lot too. It seems to point to very incomplete sex education! I'm really pleased that I made you laugh lol and thanks so much for your review.

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Review #18, by Renfair Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

16th October 2008:
Oh my god, Morgana. If I didn't know that you wrote this, I would seriously think that someone was being serious. I think you nailed a good number of cliches: TOTAL out of character, random author commentary while threatening for more reviews, Harry being the gay lover of ever single male character in the book (and with Myrtle? WTF was that?!), use of Muggle cell phones (which shouldn't work in the first place amongst so much magic), instant pregnancy that the woman can FEEL...oh the list just goes on and on. I hope you had fun writing this cause I certainly enjoyed reading it! And I love the tribute to "The Worst Story Ever Written" with the gathering daisies bit. Wow. I feel like I have to go give Severus a nice long hug now...

Author's Response: I must say, I was a bit worried about posting this thinking that people might think I was being serious. I still want to die of shame for succeeding at producing something so bad rather effortlessly. Yes, the threats regarding reviews I believe are forbidden now here but I believe they existed. I think it was definitely the thread about the worst story ever than inspired me to write this monstruousity. I'm glad you enjoyed it though and thanks so much for the review.

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Review #19, by Aurora Dawn Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

15th October 2008:
.."fanfiction stories often donít follow the rules of nature." --- This line pretty much sums up the whole story. I mean that in a good way because that's what you were going after.

My personal favorite line --- "Ginny was a slat".

I do agree that it's a bit confusing in the way it shifts.is that Harry having weird fantasies or something? That story I told you about that I wrote had the same issues. I deleted mine because it wasn't done on purpose, but yours was so I wouldn't worry about it.

Author's Response: Thanks so much babe! It seems that I achieved creating a true monstruousity in literary terms. lol I think I probably overdid it a bit though because it is just very confusing.

As what I intended, although there isn't a very clear or purposeful plot here is that the sexual relationship with Bellatrix was real and that when he was thinking about Draco and Myrtle he was remembering something that had really happened. The bits that were meant to be fantasy where the relationships with both Snape and Voldemort.

I'm still a bit embarrassed about this story though, even if it is bad on purpose. I don't know I suppose it has to do with knowing how easily something so bad came to me!


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Review #20, by Tom_DracosGirl Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

15th October 2008:
This was very good, I was giggling away as I read it. I think you managed to pick up on most of the cliches/ annoying inconsitancies there.

The phone!! why do people give wizards phones!!?? That always annoys me lol.

Author's Response: Thanks so much. Yes, I did this for a challenge and hoping that this would be the worse story in the whole site! lol

The phones well, they annoy me when the DEs just randomely carry them. I'm being a hypocrite here though since Harry and Hermione have them in my story, but they were both brought up as Muggles and there are reasons why they have to live in the Muggle world at least partly but it's a complicated story, but yes, in essence I explain the reasons why they are using Muggle devices.

I'm so glad I made you laugh though.

Thanks so much!


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Review #21, by iloveblack Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

14th October 2008:
Hilarious!

Good thing you mentioned in the summary what you were up to because I would have died after the first sentence, thinking you were serious =)

I think you summoned up all the cliches, annoying author notes and random thoughts of characters perfectly.

10/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you found this funny.

At first I thought it would be obvious to anyone that this is a parody but then I could just not risk people thinking I was serious, so I did mentioned my intentions in the summary. In all truth, I have never seen anything quite this bad, although I have seen some of these things in separate stories, just not all thrown in together.

Yes, everybody seems to be picking on the random author notes. Okay, yes, that's where the forums and owls are for, to chat with your friends, the stories aren't. The plot here is meant to be kind of incoherent too and all the characters out of character in the extreme!

I don't actually hate the odd cliche in moderation, especially when some effort has been put in giving the plot some sort of credibility.

I hope I'm not going to start making people paranoid about these elements, I think is just putting all of them together and the lack of a comprehensible plot that makes it so bad.

Thanks so much!



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Review #22, by jennaBee Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

14th October 2008:
V. amusing, i loved the random cliches! i'm just a little scared that my own may have such cliches involved that people hate!! and that would be just plain wrong!

But awesomely (bad) cliched story!! very funny!!

Jen.

Author's Response: Honestly, I haven't had the chance to read your stories but I'm absolutely certain that you haven't done anything like this. Okay, part of my point is that the odd cliche is fine, especially when things are qualified, like why does Bella have a mobile phone. I'm sure is possible to think of a realistic scenario. I guess is just the combination of everything that is bad together and in such a short space. There are some very good Dramiones out there for instance (although a lot of people hate them), okay, same goes for Harry/Draco slash but if combine with strange pregnancies and the Prefects' bathroom may be not. If you want I can take a look at your story and give you an honest opinion.

I truly believe that most plots are workable but, again, sometimes it is just a matter of putting a lot of thought and finding explanations as to why things are that way.

I'm glad you found it funny and thanks so much.


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Review #23, by BarbaraPotty Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

14th October 2008:
LOL.

As for your worries you expressed over at eHPF, I'm not going to lie, it is a bit confused - but definitely don't delete it, that would be a pity! And besides, I have seen stories that were even more inconsistent and were meant to be absolutely serious...(Like that in one chapter, potions teacher was Slughorn, and in another, it was Snape...)

My favourite parts are the ones of author notes - I mean, I so hate those! As I've quoted in the Pet-Peeves thread...AN has no place in the middle of the text! And even those at the beginning and end should concern the story somehow, not - like you said here and is done so often - 'I had a wonderful weekend, thanks for asking'. :D So yeah, I loved those parts of your story...and of course, Snape and daisies...dare I bet where did they come from? :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much Barbara. Did I achieve writing something even worse than the daisy story? I guess part of the experiment for me was to see how much less time and effort should go into writing something extremely bad. I can tell that the other authors in this challenge did put much more effort into making theirs bad. I wrote this in something like half an hour, so I guess my point is that everyone is capable of something better than this, without needing to be overly gifted; that a little effort can go a long way.

I may change it a bit to give it some sort of cohesion. Yes, like you, I hate random author notes unrelated to the story, especially in the middle! Probably I overdid this a bit. Whilst I can cope with most chiches, to me they have to be qualifed. Mobile phones, ok, I use them by there are reasons why my guys are living practically in the Muggle world. Draco and Harry co-operate in one of my stories, but is not an overnight friendship (it took me over 10 chapters to be able to pull that one off - assuming I did), pregnancy again, fine within limits and as long as consistent with basic human biology. I guess my main rant was directed as lack of thought and explanation. The same goes for prophanity. A little in dialogue can add some emphasis, but this is just plainly crude!

The daisies, well, that's definitely an eHPF in-joke! Thanks for the wonderful inspiration. I suppose if I wanted to have overdone it completely, the whole thing should be written in text-message style, but I guess that would be just like a foreign language and people wouldn't be able to read it.

I must say, I haven't had the misfortune to read anything quite this bad but I imagine that since my time is a bit limited I tend to mainly read stories from reasonable authors. I imagine this is a bit like a program on British TV, call "What not to wear," things such as really figure hugging garments if you happen to be very overweight and so forth.

I'm glad you could relate to some of the peeves.

Thanks a lot! x


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Review #24, by ginnyfan4life Harry and Bellatrix: Unbelievable

14th October 2008:
Wow, that was random eh? I'm glad you wrote in the summary how you intended it to look because I would have thought you were a bit of a nut job had you not. It's defiantly an interesting read- loved the Death Eaters customer services.

Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much for reading and reviewing this. Yes, the idea basically was to write as bad a story as possible for a fanfic peeve challenge. I tried to use as many silly cliches as possible an yes the whole thing is completely random. Okay, the customer services reference is not something I have encountered before in fanfic but since this was about peeves and this is something that really annoys me in real life, I just couldn't resist including it, especially in the context of Death Eaters.

Yes, I'm glad I explained that this was meant to be extremely bad. If people thought I was serious, I would just die of embarassment. Also it contains a lot more strong language that I would actually ever use. Okay, my main novel-length contains the odd word but only about twice and it's over 100,000 words; so this was obviously about writing something as mad and tasteless as possible. For what you say, I have achieve this.

Thanks so much. I have a couple of one shots, a novel in progress and I wrote Harry's chapter in the collaboration, "Defining Moments," in case you ever have the time or fancy reading my usual stuff instead.


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