:D Hooray for Pope Tarts! 10/10Author's Response: YES! POPE TARTS!
Love ya, dearie. Report Review
Ha! I loved this! I've always found Marauder one-shots great fun, but this was one of the best, EVER! The breakfast discussion was hilarious, and I LOVED that last sentence about the S'more popt-tarts. Brilliant. This was really amazing, and funny, I laughed when I saw that Peter preferred oatmeal.
This is going on my favorites, I loved it! Super funny! Oh, I wish it were longer!!! 10/10!!!Author's Response: OMIGOSH! THANKS SO MUCH! I HAVE NO WORDS TO EXPRESS WHAT A WONDERFUL REVIEW THIS IS!
You really made my day, honestly. Report Review
It's nice to read a nice fluff every now and again, and I found this one to be particularly amusing. A breakfast conversation over cereal that would be foreign to most wizards sounds like something the Marauders would do. However, there are a few things that could probably be improved.
First of all, the sentences are a little choppy. A wide variety of sentence lengths would cause it to flow a bit better, though it's not a huge problem right you're your word choice is good, which is adding to the effect more than the sentence type is taking away, if that makes any sense. Secondly, there is quite a bit of dialogue. Understandably, this type of fluff tends to have a lot of banter back and forth, but sometimes it's nice to step back for a moment and describe the actions around them, excluding the talking.
I'm a little nitpicky on these, so don't take it badly. Your story is a very good one, and I really enjoyed reading it.Author's Response: That it is. The errors you pointed out are simply for the fact that I didn't take this story seriously - for obvious reasons. I, too, am very nitpicky on sentence type. The dialog, though, I do tend to get carried away with, so I understand. Thank you, though, for pointing this stuff out. Unfortunately, I probably won't come back to this one and re-write it; just a fun thing that I spun for just getting the idea out there.
Again, thanks so much for the well thought out review; I appreciate it so much!
PS - neat screen name! :-P Report Review
That was so cute! my favorite part was the last part where sirius asked James a question and James said ''dunno'' that was so funny.
It was so funny, them making fun of each other's breakfast foods. great job!Author's Response: Thanks so very much! I'm glad you liked it. I thought it very marauder-like to talk about breakfast in detail. :D Report Review
LOL. That was random. Yet fluffy at the same time. It was cute. I liked the little banter between the Mauraders about their favourite kind of cereal. (I LOVE Frosted Flakes, by the way.) And then I loved how at the end Mrs. Potter brought home Pop Tarts. :) It was really cute.Author's Response: Thank you so very much for the review! I'm glad you liked its random-ness. :}
Frosted Flakes are my favorite, just so that you know. XD Report Review
Awe, that was really cute. Very random, but cute =]
just one thing...“Would could’ve seen that one coming?” - I don't know what this line is suppose to be, should the 'would' be 'we' or something, it doesnt sound right.
I LOVE Coco Pops and Frosted Flakes with ice-cold milk, yummy!
I don't get the s'more part, yea, I'm slow. =]
Other than that, I thought that it was a really nice story,and I enjoyed reading it!Author's Response: S'more is just a bit of Remus's love for chocolate. They had no idea what a s'more was, but Remus is practically drooling about it - he he.
I'll take another look at the sentence, but keep in mind that it was supposed to be a sarcastic remark. That might've been what threw you off.
Thanks for the review! I appreciate it! I'm glad you loved my random bit of fluffiness. Report Review
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