Reading Reviews for Anatomy of a Heart
  
47 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lily1995 One Can Only Hope

2nd March 2010:
i love your writing style and how you describe your charaters i feel like im them keep up the great work

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Review #2, by dianap00 One Can Only Hope

24th January 2009:
I love the Slytherin dynamic when they aren't hindered by the presence of others. Yes, they've been humbled but, more importantly, they're persevering in that proud way that one would expect. I really like that the six fall into such a natural and easy comraderie. Astoria and Draco. For Hedwig's sake, do I ever love those two muchly. Theo and Daphne are so great together. I love it. She's so warm and sympathetic and he is so upset and reeling over the actions of daddy Nott.

Cheers.
p.s. Oh, my goodness, the viddies are amazing. Loved them both. I didn't even realize they existed. *squee* Holy crow, they sort of really look exactly like Theo and Daphne as I imagine. Theo, is right near perfect in his snazzy suit. It's rather incredible. The music is so epic. I was practically bouncing in my chair. I saw the comment that said "can't wait for the movie" and I was like, hah. Seriously. I'd settle for more story though. However long it should take to update. I am quite hooked.

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Review #3, by dianap00 Where Do We Go From Here?

24th January 2009:
Perspective. I am always so satisfied when I see it written out plainly that Snape was not pure evil. Goodness, was he human, but never evil.
"she would never see him again, hear him bellowing at the other houses and stoically so, defending his."

He was always defending his House, he wasn't simply persecuting the others. He has been all but completely vindicated in his actions - understood better, if anything.

Poor Theo, it's true that in a single moment everything can change. It isn't his fault because far more than one individual decision or action affect the outcome.
"And perhaps it would never go away."
It's true. But he also saved at least two lives in all probability... Dennis was stopped. And I like that he's able to set aside some of his immediate remorse to take comfort and comfort Daphne. I love that they spoke so casually for the briefest of moments on the lightest topic... History of Magic.

Well, I continue to be gobsmacked by the awesome that is your story.

Cheers.

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Review #4, by dianap00 The Beginning of the End

24th January 2009:
I seriously admire Daphne. And love that Snape chose her and Nott as Heads. Slytherins with hearts of gold and all that. It's not as if the House were made of a bunch of Pansys - Oh, look at that, an unintended pun. I haven't read it before, but I am really glad I've found it because this story seems so immensely fascinating.
When you mentioned dear Professor Lupin my heart just about stopped.
I like the little personal details that are dropped inconspicuously; they really add just the right touch of narration. It is unfeasibly interesting, I rather love it.
Cheers.

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Review #5, by xduffyxgreengrassx One Can Only Hope

5th January 2009:
Wow. That chapter was brilliant! I'm so glad I waited for it! Hope you can update the story with a new chapter soon!

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Review #6, by savagebeginnings One Can Only Hope

12th December 2008:
Hi! It's me again! Let me just get the little things I noticed out of the way before I gush about this.

'like a war front where you had to be prepared to come across every minute with a body or a ghost to haunt you.' - I think this would read better if it said, 'like a war front where every minute you had to be prepared to come across a body or a ghost to haunt you.'

'anything bar from sure.' - I'm not too positive about this part, but I think rather than 'bar' it should be 'far'.

'comparing to the other ones standing in the room.' - For this part, I think 'compared' should be used rather than 'comparing'.


Words I didn't know/liked:
Vouchsafed

Ok, now that that's over, I absolutely loved this chapter! While there was still some sadness lingering there, we can still see that everyone is trying hard to move on. I loved Draco and Astoria in this. They were so cute and awkward at first and I just love the two of them! I'm glad to see more stuff happening with Daphne and Theo as well. This story has really piqued my interest into his character. There aren't many stories floating around with Theo as a main character and I'm really glad that this does have him as one. Goyle and Millicent were just plain hilarious in this one. Loved their interactions with each other!

Also, I saw the trailer on youtube and thought it was amazing! I loved the music choice and the movie clips were so appropriate. Both the music and the clips just went hand-in-hand perfectly!

Well, I can't wait for the next chapter! It's so great because I haven't felt this way about a story since I first joined this site years ago. It feels good! 'Til next time! ^_^

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Review #7, by Jacqueline Noir One Can Only Hope

23rd November 2008:
This was a filling chapter, full of positive emotions. Just a few things, though: I hardly believe Draco would be so easy-going, no matter whose side was he on.
And I would have liked if you'd described Astoria better, but I think that's just me infatuated with Draco Malfoy , and everything related to him.:P
I think my favorite pair from this chapter was Millicent/Goyle. I just couldn't help it, I mean"she was the man":D
But Theo and Daphe.. it all comes so naturally. Congratulations for the way you are describing their relationship...

Can't wait for the next chapter!

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Review #8, by bron One Can Only Hope

20th November 2008:
aww! thankyou!
this chapter was really really good.
i think you mean mine field not mined field though
apart from that, i dont even know where to begin!
Draco and Astoria are so so cute! and the way theo just opens up to Daphne like that is so sweet! i liked the way you didnt let anything happen between them though. i think its better to build it all up and, as you said, let them enjoy each others company for a while.
i also really liked the lighthearted exchange between millicent and gregory, it contrasted the depth of the conversation between daphne and theo really well and sort of drew away from the sadness of this chapter. I LOVED the way you described how hogwarts had changed for daphne and astoria, you portrayed their feelings of grief and how it had changed their perspective of life incredibly well!
i'm off to go check out this clip!
update soon, i cant wait for the next round of chapters fr all your stories!
Bron

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Review #9, by SUSIE FOO One Can Only Hope

19th November 2008:
Awesome! I am really like this story and I like the little clip you put together. :)

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Review #10, by Amulya_HPfan One Can Only Hope

17th November 2008:
This was quite a cute chapter! I love how the introduction to Draco/Astoria was more innocent and cute than the usual agnst-ridden ones. And Nott and Daphne are so right each other.I especially like the beginning about the funerals. You were able to make it quite special to the Battle, but also incorporate feelings that I think everyone has when they go to a funeral. But the whole library scene made me giggle. Did I see foreshadowing for a Millicent/Goyle relationship? That would be a cute pair.all in all, amazing chapter. Great writing and characterization as usual!

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Review #11, by Pegasus1979 Where Do We Go From Here?

25th October 2008:
Hi there!
Another wonderful chapter showing the grief and aftermath of the battle from a previously unseen point of view.

I didn't see any grammatical or spelling mistakes, so well done there!

I loved this line: The deafening silence of death.
It was so simple and so powerful at the same time!

Author's Response: Thank you so much Pegasus! Your reviews are always so positive and lovely!

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Review #12, by jozae Where Do We Go From Here?

25th October 2008:
Lovely chapter. I've always being so incredibly intrigued with Theodore Nott and I think there's so much of him that can be explored, in terms of fanfiction. However there aren't many stories of him out there, so just imagine my luck when I came across this one :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I must say that I was always intrigued by Nott too so I've taken great joy in playing with his character along this:D Thank you!

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Review #13, by Jacqueline Noir Where Do We Go From Here?

23rd October 2008:
That is that breathtaking chapter that I loved... You can see in every line how much you love this story!:)

Author's Response: Thank you so much my dear! I love this story indeed, but I love you more:D

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Review #14, by SusieFoo Where Do We Go From Here?

21st October 2008:
Fabulous story like the rest!! Wonderful writing. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much Susie!

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Review #15, by Lunicle Where Do We Go From Here?

19th October 2008:
Hia Roe! I am (finally) here! Life is crazy, both in RL and on my review thread and betaing. ;D And of course, I have NaNoWriMo coming up soon...

Anyway, on with my review!

~*~*~

In Which I Nitpick:

#1: He pulled it through as well.

I think it would sound a bit better and more like the usual saying if you left out "it." :D

#2: He lay peaceful on the floor, as if he were sleeping merely.

'Twould sound less awkward if you said "merely sleeping" rather than "sleeping merely." As a matter of interest, you don't happen to be ESL (English as a second language), do you? Please don't take it the wrong way if you aren't; you just happen to use a few of the same phrases that someone I've met who is ESL uses, so I wondered. :D I kind of doubt it because, well, your writing and vocabulary is better than most people who've spoken English their entire lives.

~*~*~

In Which I Commend:

"her usual ability to shun away her doubts seemed to have evanesced."

Huzzah! I love that word, evanesced! I started smiling when I saw someone on HPFF had actually used it in their writing!/random weirdness

Also, I highly enjoyed the dialogue between Daphne and Theo. I also thought it was really quite sweet and realistic how Theo thought about how it was like he had been acquainted with Daphne for so long, but had never truly known her.

Lastly, the last paragraph and final sentence were very powerful. I thought it was a good end-of-chapter to get readers to go on to the next one.

~*~*~

Overall, 'tis a very well done chapter in a very well done (thus far) story. 10/10

Reviewers, unite! Writers, write!

-Luna-

Author's Response: Thank you dear Lunicle for the nitpicking, you know I enjoy it when my readers actually take the time to improve the stories. I shall definitely correct those whenever time allows me:D

I'm happy you like the way this is going and I hope you continue to enjoy the story as it moves forward.

Roe


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Review #16, by eternalangel Where Do We Go From Here?

18th October 2008:
There was a lot of things that I liked about this chapter. I think you captured the turmoil after the battle and the mixed emotions of all the people very well. I also think that using a Slytherin's POV after the battle was not only unique, but told the reader more information than they normally would have had. I loved that Snape was mourned and given more credit than he was in the books for protecting the students from Voldemort. I also loved how snippets of the Carrows reign of terror kept popping up because it is a part of the series that was never gone into. I loved how Theo felt such guilt over Colin's death and how his entire view and philosophy on death was shaken up.

I really liked the end scene by the lake and how the emotions were captured so well. I think you have a real talent for portraying mixtures of emotions.

I did think the beginning was really confusing especially when Daphne's parents arrive. First I didn't know where exactly she was and how she escaped the rubble. Then her parents arrive, but they were not well defined as characters. Then she runs off to find Theo, but I would have thought her parents wouldn't have let the daughter they almost lost leave and at least show a little more emotion that she is alive. I think a little more descriptions and characterization on them would help. You don't need too much more because their story and pain is not the centerpiece.

Also, when Daphne met Millicent in the Great Hall, I hadn't realized she was in the Great Hall until she began to walk towards Theo. I did love what you did with Millicent's character and how you added a side to her the reader has never seen before which is a caring, good side.

There was one other spot of confusion. It was when Daphne is talking to Millicent. First she is walking towards Theo and she turns back around towards Millicent. Then it says that "She sat still for a moment and then decided that it was perhaps time to ask the much dreaded question." The "she" I assume is Daphne, but wasn't she just walking over to Theo? After she asks the question it says she continues to walk over to Theo. I got confused because I wasn't if Daphne was sitting or standing.

Other than that, I think this was a very well done chapter and I can't wait for the next one! My favorite line was this "The end was there. Some people could feel it, while some just laboured themselves under the illusion that along with the sunset a new life would surface." Excellent job!

eternalangel

Author's Response: I don't even know where to begin with this reply. Your review is one of the best that I've ever received in my life. Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed and complex review and sorry about taking so long to reply to it. Reading this again, makes me feel so bad about not making some time to reply...

Anyway, I'm glad that you enjoy the slytherin POV as I think it's a part of this universe that hasn't really been delved much into and it's quite interesting to say the least. Millicent is dear to me in a way thanks to another fanfic who explored that caring side of her that we never really see in the books, so I thought that every once in while she should display it. Not very often, as we'll see in future chapters, but sometimes she will be the caring one when others will be enraged. About the confusion bit, Daphne leaves Mill right outside the great hall and then starts walking towards Theo. And it is then that she suddenly decides to ask Mill about the dead, so she turns around walks over to Mill again and asks her.

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Roe


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Review #17, by hosu Where Do We Go From Here?

17th October 2008:
I'm super glad you updated! So sorry for the late review, I was off in a grade trip until today. ^^

I really liked how you planned how the characters felt about the aftermath of the war; unlike some other stories I've read, you don't make them slap-happy, forgetting about their dead friends or family members. However, you don't let your characters lose their personalities because of the war- you let them still have the same spark.

I'm looking forward to your next chapter! :)

Author's Response: I'm glad you reviewed nonetheless, late or not and as you can tell I'm rather late in replying so we could even call it even Hahaha! I'm glad people find it good that my characters are not the type that were able to find peace after the war, in fact for Theo and Daphne the real war is about to begin. During Voldemort's reign they were sort of protected by a cocoon and now they're about to face the real world, where the real problems are. Thank you so much! The next chapter should be up sometime tonight:D

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Review #18, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Where Do We Go From Here?

16th October 2008:
So, when you said: "She noticed the big scar on Mill's forehead. . . " I think you should find a better word than 'scar' which makes it sound like a cut that was healed long ago. Maybe 'cut' or 'gash' would work better.

Hey, it's me, long_live_luna_bellatrix, here on your request!

First, I don't know if you remember, but you posted this on my old thread so I already reviewed the first chapter.

This was very, very good! The plot and characterization is magnificent. Daphne and Theo are very well-developed, nicely written characters. They have more dephth than any of my characters ever will be.

I found a few tiny grammar things:

When Theo and Dahpne are sitting together by the lake: "Which did not bled litereally, but somehow kept blood pumping out of it." I think 'bled' is supposed to be 'bleed'. ;-)

And: "Brushed the robe of his shoulders" I think 'of' is supposed to be 'off'.

That's all! Nice job! I loved this!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review and the grammar mistakes that you've so kindly pointed out here. I do so love when my readers discover them so I can alter them:D Thanks for the suggestions as well:D Roe

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Review #19, by onestop_hpfan18 Where Do We Go From Here?

16th October 2008:
Hey, back to review ch. 2. I thought you did a great job of capturing the uncertainty and solid characterizations of both Daphne and Theo. The only grammar mistakes I caught were where you were describing how Theo felt that it was his fault that Colin was dead and that, though his heart was not 'bled internally', it should be 'bleed internally'. Other than that it was well written.

You also did a great job with descriptions as it painted great visuals for all us who are reading this. Keep up the good job. 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for returning to the second chappe with such a lovely review! I'm so happy to hear that there were no grammar mistakes, I guess my time in England is really starting to show off:D Thank you so much for the words you wrote here, they mean a lot to me:D Roe

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Review #20, by Phoenix_Flames Where Do We Go From Here?

15th October 2008:
Another fantastic chapter at a great length. Again, there weren't really any errors.

You characterize and describe so excellently. There really isn't much for me to critique on. Again, I want to find out what's next immediately. Update soon!!

I can only say excellent!!

10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Such reviews always make my day!

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Review #21, by Phoenix_Flames The Beginning of the End

15th October 2008:
Wow. This was fantastic!!

I loved the name Fiendfyre. It is so unique.

Great cliff hanger at the end. I loved the length of this chapter. The longer stories seem to go better. There weren't too many errors and such in the story and the flow was great. That helps tons. Really great and I want to find out what happens next, and I have the feeling that everybody gets that feeling in this story and that is even more fantastic!!

You always want to grip the reader and you did that fantastically.

9/10

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Review #22, by maraudersmap Where Do We Go From Here?

15th October 2008:
Hullo, it's me again. :)

I liked this chapter much better than the first, which is saying something, as I adored the first one as well. I guess it's because I felt that I finally got to know Daphne. It was calmer than the first, but not at all boring or slow. It was just the way it should be after a war like that.

I could literally feel Daphne's relief when she woke up and her parents told her that Voldemort was gone. She wasn't happy, though, and you portrayed her conflicting emotions very well.

I loved the way Theo behaved upon seeing Colin's body. I loved the dialogue between the two main characters as well. It was realistic and meaningful; not at all forced. You give life to characters that I've never before paid any attention to, such as Millicent. It takes a pretty talented writer to do that. ;)

Your writing is still beautiful. I particularly adored the ending and this sentence: He was closed in his mind and she knew the type of dangers that lurk in the shadows of one's reasoning.

Anyway, I hope you update soon! And do not hesitate to re-request: I'd love to review more. 10/10.

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you so much for this long and detailed review and many many sorry's for keeping you waiting for a reply so long. I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter better than the first one and that my writing manages to pass the feelings that both characters are feeling well. It's really important for this chapter not to show happiness, nor joy, but merely giving a sense of relief.

I will update tonight in fact:D Thank you!


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Review #23, by maraudersmap The Beginning of the End

15th October 2008:
Hi, this is maraudersmap from the forum! :)

So far, I've enjoyed this story very much. Your writing is spectacular, and I only spotted one typo: ...This time louder and sending various stunners at him that we're easily countered by the charm Colin had cast. I think it's supposed to be were instead of we're.

I especially loved the sentence: Professor Trelawney was throwing some crystal balls from the balcony but without any success. That was just too funny! :D I laughed so hard, even though it was quite the dramatic situation.

You really know how to make an action scene thrilling. I was at the edge of my seat throughout the whole chapter. I especially loved the part when she thought she was about to die.

It was so interesting to read about the final battle from a Slytherin's point of view. I'm thrilled that you didn't make all Slytherins the same - I've read a couple of fanfictions in which every Slytherin is a cold, rich pureblood. It's ridiculous. I didn't quite grasp Daphne's character, but I suppose that's just because it's only the first chapter. I loved Theo, though. It must be hard for him, being the son of a death eater and all. I can't wait to find out more about him!

As a matter of fact, I can't wait to find out more about everyone. It's such an exciting plot! So, that being said, I'm moving on to the next chapter. Wonderful job! 9/10.

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Review #24, by shrewgoddess Where Do We Go From Here?

15th October 2008:
I do love this story. I'm immensely curious about Theodore Nott and hopefully this will sate some of it. Keep going!

Author's Response: Of course this story will shed some light on Theo Nott, as I find him quite an intriguing character myself:X Thank you so much!

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Review #25, by bron Where Do We Go From Here?

15th October 2008:
Every time I read about Snape's death I get really sad =[
and then adding colin's death to it made it even worse, but apart from that this is a beautiful chapter.

I found myself connecting to both Daphne and Theo more than I did when I read this story last time, maybe cause I already knew the ending but I'm trying to pretend that this is a completely different story.

They are so cute together, and the way you described their despair and sorrow was wonderful, even though it was really, really sad.

Probably my favourite line was:
"One has to know the past in order to understand the present and foretell the future"
Its creepy that history is my favourite subect for that precise reason but it made me love Daphne even more.

I cant wait for the next chapter even though I know you're really busy, heck, so am I!

Bron
xox

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this lovely review and sorry for not replying sooner. I've been very busy in real life:)

It is in a way a different story, because I'm going to make separate stories for the three moments in theor lives so feel free to imagine this with another ending for the time being:D I'm so glad you like this story and that you can relate to the characters. Heck you're always such a great reviewer!

Roe


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