Okay, just gonna say that I like you're story and I'm not trying to be mean or judge or anything, but it's kinda weird having you have the lyrics to high school musical, camp rock and Jonas brothers songs, but then write a long sex-filled chapter. I know that older people like the Jonas brothers and high school musical and stuff like that, and I'm not hating on you or any of those things. I'm just saying that its a little weird and unrealistic to have a boy participate in a Hogwarts "camp rock" musical production and then lose his virginity afterwords.Author's Response: i wrote this story like, three years ago and posted what i had. so i'll probably rewrite it and make it better. i know it's not very good. thanks for your input, i'll try to work on that when i rewrite it! Report Review
Uhhh, no offense, but it's kind of obvious it's gonna be Tia. But how do she and Rose know each other enough to make Tia the Maid of Honor?Author's Response: sorry i made it so "obvious" i wasn't trying to, i assure you. Report Review
i fell as if this story is choppy and missing some parts or in the wrong orderAuthor's Response: it's probably choppy because a bunch of my chapters got taken down when they changed the terms of service. sorry! Report Review
the top part makes no senseAuthor's Response: what do you mean by the "top part?" Report Review
Holy fudge dropping bombs! Woah woah woah good chapter! Loved it!Author's Response: thank you! :) Report Review
epic :D please do more Hugo/OC or more next gen :DAuthor's Response: haha, i will at some point. i'm working hard on other fics right now :) but I will write more Hugo some day Report Review
Love the story...however, is something missing between this chapter and the previous? Slight confusion over going from the wedding to what I assume was Connor getting caught hitting Tia. But otherwise, it's quite good!Author's Response: there was something missing, haha. my chapters went in for re validations for some reason, and the chapter between this one and the previous wouldn't revalidate. i didn't want to get my account suspended so i took it down.. sorry :/ Report Review
Oh my god!next chapter please!Author's Response: the story is finished :) haha. so the next chapter is up. Report Review
OH my GOSH!AH! poor hugo! i want to give him a hug sooo bad!Author's Response: I know. Hugo has had it rough when it comes to Tia ;) but he gets his wish Report Review
AW! omg i read this chapter in media stugies and everyone stared at me because i was flapping my arms and saying"AAWWW!!!"Author's Response: I love reading stories in classes and going all giddy, because the people's reactions are the best :) I'm glad that you liked it so much! Report Review
AW! he is so sweet! i love your story so farAuthor's Response: thank you so much :) I'm glad you like it! Report Review
How dare you! You made cry!!!I hate and love you over powering words, hugo is sooo brave i wanted to hug him:)Author's Response: i'm sorry i made you cry :( Report Review
Holy crappied crap this chapter sent shivers down my spin!!!Author's Response: wow! I wasn't expecting it to be like that. :) thank you for your review! Report Review
OMGAAAD!!! AHHH!!! any hoddle another amazing chapter! owesome all over it can't wait to read the next chapter...:)Author's Response: I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Report Review
You know I had my doubts about this story when I read the summary but I really like it so far! Even if I completely disagree with your taste in music...Author's Response: well, I'm glad that you're enjoying it. :) Report Review
i see a couple things. Please understand that what i say here is for your benefit. =) you have fun ideas, but even the best ideas can be undone by the execution. i also understand that this story is a bit older, and these are just your early chapters; i know that there's a perfectly good chance that you learned and resolved these things in the course of writing the story. here goes:
for one, hugo's not very masculine. he could be a girl, mentally, for all we know. he's too detail oriented. a lot of guys don't knotice the little things; men are typically big picture thinkers. one great way to get into a guy's head, i find, is to read adult dramatic fiction in a male POV. you'll see the difference. =)
another thing i noticed is that you really like description, which is fantastic, but it comes off a little dry. you're very direct with your description. there was this, there was that, it was this color, etc. instead of describing everything in one go, try breaking it up. turn some of it into dialogue. slip it in gradually. there's no rush. ;)
please understand that i'm not insulting you, and that despite my suggestions, i really am enjoying your story. i'm interested to see what this giant twist is, and how this becomes an action/adventure story.Author's Response: I wanted to make Hugo different. I know that most guys don't pay attention to detail, that's why I wrote him as someone who does. I wrote him so he's more like Hermione. And this was a story from when I was first starting out. My Draco/Hermione story is better.
Thanks for your suggestions though. :) Maybe if I re-write, I'll put them into play. But, rewriting isn't in my future plans. I have several other ideas in my head that are far better than this one. Report Review
That's how the story ends? It's listed as completed, so that's just... the end? Kind of disappointing, since I'd like to see where it would go from here. I was enjoying the story, so it's definitely a let down for it to just end like that.Author's Response: I was planning on a sequel. that's why it's a cliff hanger. Report Review
this is actually fairly promising. i can't believe that this story hasn't gotten more attention. your premise is intriguing, and aside from less than a handful of semantic missteps, seems fairly well edited.
i'm excited to see where this goes. =)Author's Response: thank you so much :) Report Review
Please, please, please, PLEASE fix your spacing. It's tough to read a story when you have to scroll every 10 seconds because of the massive spaces between paragraphs. The story itself is great, I just needed to put that in there.Author's Response: The way I pasted it in had normal spacing, then the chapters kept getting rejected because of spacing. sorry about that. Report Review
This story was awesome ! I really enjoyed reading it ! BUT YOU CAN'T END IT THERE !!! please please please write a sequel (: 10/10Author's Response: I'm thinking of writing a sequel. I just need a concept :) aha Report Review
The story was Awesome!!! :)Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) I'm so glad you liked it! Report Review
I liked the story but I would suggest you to reread it either by yourself or through a beta.. There are a few typos here and there.. :)
I don't know but the story seemed to be a bit rushed/ less descriptive.. I mean like the time when Hugo gets operated or when the battle takes place, they are like suddenly happening.. no description of them before.. these were your major plots, so may be you should have build up the suspense or something or just describe them a bit more.. those scenes don't seem real enough to me.. Maybe that's just me but I'll still suggest u looking through it again..
I hope you won't mind.. I was just trying to help! :)Author's Response: i finished the story almost three years ago, and i was just posting what i had, i didn't really go through it or anything. but thank you :) Report Review
Omg is it over?! Omg omg omg continue it PLEASE!!! ah!
UpdateAuthor's Response: I have a sequel planned, don't you worry :) Report Review
How could you give us that cliff hanger!!! :)Author's Response: I'm planning a sequel, don't worry :) Report Review
what!!! you cant end it there!!!
its really good thoughAuthor's Response: thank you so much! :) I'm glad you liked it. Report Review
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