I've never read a story with Pansy as the main character before but this is surprisingly good. You have a lovely way of writing emotions, and really making the reader empathise with the characters.Author's Response: Thank you very much, I do tend to focus on characters that are generally despised and I just feel the need to show another side to the story. Pansy clinging onto Draco Malfoy is not an appealing image, so I suppose this is her when she is more grown up. I'm really glad you liked it, this is the fic that I agonize over. Thanks for taking the time to review. Report Review
I'm sorry it took me so long to review ):
And for what it's worth; I really enjoyed this. It was really sweet, but in a strange way, kind of bittersweet. And I like stories that are bittersweet (:
My fav line: She would’ve liked to believe that the weather was particularly dismal, that it was sympathising with her, but she knew that it was just another winter’s day in London and that the only person able to give her any sympathy was ten metres down the road standing in his doorway.
I just love it. Great job! *thumbs up*Author's Response: Don't worry about it. Thanks so much I'm glad you liked it and I love it when readers give their favourite lines-It really spurs me on. Thanks again, I'm thrilled you liked it Report Review
I really quite liked this one-shot, which is quite the compliment from me, considering that I am not really a big fan of Pansy as a character at all, I would rather have wiped her out of the books altogether than include her in anything. But I really liked how this was written, even when handling characters I am not too keen to read about.
You can really feel every single emotion and thought running through Pansy’s head, I think that the words are very well picked out; they have a strong enough message without sounding entirely manufactured. Which I think is possibly the best element of the whole one shot. And the reader not only feels what Pansy feels, but also manages to see it partially from Blaise’s point of you. Not to the same extent as you see it from Pansy, but enough to assure the reader that Blaise is human, not just one of those soulless villains there to be a good story telling device.
You also have some enviable ways of writing. Your descriptions are not the longest and wordiest I have ever read, but some of them are the most effective I have come across in fan fiction. There are some really brilliant descriptions dotted about the piece that stand head and shoulders above the rest, but all in all the description remains at a good standard the whole way through anyway. I also envy your knowledge of writing dialogue, it has always been something I struggle with and get very jealous of authors who obviously know how to properly punctuate their pieces of dialogue.
And perhaps an odd little thing I like is your use of italics. Speaking as an author on the site, I can never be bothered to go back and find every word that I would use emphasis on to italicise it, but you have done that quite a bit to yours. Good for you! In many places it is very effective indeed.
There are obviously a few faults here and there though throughout the one shot. Nothing major. I believe there was a couple of sentences that needed a little jiggling around, or even just a little more punctuation to be put in. But nothing in serious need of immediate attention.
So all in all, not a bad one-shot at all. I feel like I have read sameish one-shots about break ups time after time, but this one was refreshingly well written, so well done for that. It is hard to take such an idea and actually put your own mark on it.
Keep up the good work.Author's Response: Longest review ever? Quite possibly Lol
I tend to dislike Pansy too, but I did this challenge and you really want to believe there's another side to her than whinging!
The fic was mainly about Pansy, but I thought that Blaise needed to have some sort of character and opinion, not just the odd grunt here and there and I'm glad that in your opinion I managed it. I don't even know what to say about your comments on my writing, I'm just so thrilled!
I wouldn't say I was the most skilled at dialogue, but I wrote a one-shot that was really all dialogue to try and improve and I suppose it helped me, so you could try that and it might help-It feels so weird to be giving out tips! Lol
Yeah, I italicised it in the word. doc. I had and then had to scan the whole piece to reinsert them, stressful but I really thought they were needed.
If it was faultless then I don't think it would be my writing Lol I must say one of your comments I'm happiest about is that you think I put my own stamp on a well worn idea! Ecstatic.
I'm really glad you liked it and took the time to leave this review =] Report Review
As someone who writes Pansy quite a bit it was a relief to see that she was portrayed as someone with some substance and a mind of her own rather than a simpering idiot.
I think that you conveyed quite a lot about their feelings through their speech, but sometimes it helps a reader to have the writer delve into the characters emotions as well. Just something to think about.
I enjoyed reading this story, and I really liked the ending, even though it was sad that they aren't together any more. Good jobAuthor's Response: I'm not naturally inclined to like Pansy, but she gets a lot of grief so I agreed to have a go at the challenge for this and I actually enjoyed it. It was tough though, so I'm thrilled that you liked it.
Thanks for the review =] Report Review
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