Reading Reviews for Because she smiled
  
37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by panchami Because she smiled.

18th April 2011:
hey this is great really great so touching!I really love do keep writing,it would be good I think its just a suggestion to write from regulus's view,he's so different so unknown no-one really knows anything about him,you know so I think you could shape out his whole character.do write as soon as possible,we all wait.

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Review #2, by Curiosity is not a sin Because she smiled.

17th April 2011:
Hey! This is curiosity is not a sin over from the HPFF forums :D

Oh wow this fic is amazing o__o I'm an absolute sucker for a good Dark/Angst fic, and this is written absolutely beautifully. My absolute favourite line was "For the life of me, for all the Black gold in Gringotts, for all the magic in the world, I just couldn’t do it." because gold and magic are two things the magic world see so importantly.

Beautiful banner, and lovely summary as well :) I'm really impressed at how well you've managed to develop your character and show them all through differently through a letter - very well written and characterised :)

The tone you used to write from Regulus' point of view is also brilliant; it carries such an air of finality, and the fact that this story is practically flawless in terms of spell/grammatical errors only makes it that much better.

I can't really think of any critique to give you because I absolutely love it as it is :D

Well done on it! Keep up the awesome work :)

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Review #3, by pendurhh Because she smiled.

12th July 2010:
Hi, first of all, wow.
Right, let's get to the reviewing, I'm not actually sure how to put this into words because you've kind of left me speechless...

This is an absolutely perfect little one-shot, your characterization of Regulus, might as well be canon, that's my opinion anyway, because that is exactly how I imagine he was well, he's complex and rather twisted, constantly in Sirius' shadow, and in his first few years at Hogwarts, rather jealous and spiteful. But then he turns out to be one of the good guys, so that can be easily dismissed. lol.

It all flows really well, and there's not any problems with grammar/spelling which is awesome. (:

''And she saw.'' That has to be my favourite line, just the weight of those words, made my jaw drop.

When I read the summary and the description I was annoyed that it was just a one-shot BEFORE I had actually read it, but then when I did read it, I was completely satisfied, you should just leave it as a one-shot because it's just...perfect.

It's a flawless look into what turned Regulus, into R.A.B, (If you understand?)


-pendurhh.

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Review #4, by Think And Cry Because she smiled.

23rd December 2009:
I love this. More than any story I've read before. It really reflects on Regulus and I think you've done a damn well better job then most people I know that have written Regulus stories.

Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much for the kind words!

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Review #5, by fantasy Because she smiled.

13th September 2009:
That was soo touching. Well written, I loved the emotion in there. I really felt for Regulas, him knowing that he'd done the 'wrong' thing and him trying to make up for it. Trying to heal the breach. "Because she smiled" that was a beautiful line and just touching. thanks again!

Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words! :D

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Review #6, by HP_4_LIFE Because she smiled.

7th September 2009:
"Because she smiled at me, and that one little upward curving of the lips shifted my entire world, for better or for worse." that's my favourite line! This fic is so beautifully emotional. I love it. You were born to be a writer.

Author's Response: That's pretty high praise there :D Thanks so much!

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Review #7, by AntigoneBlack Because she smiled.

16th August 2009:
I loved that you took on a Regulus/OC but didn't make him all light and fluffy. He was real, and he felt the pain of what they were doing. I loved that.

I do think that one line was confusing. I am not sure if you wanted it this way or not. The line is: And for her, even though she won’t be able to enjoy it. For her memory, then. It doesn’t matter any more. Sirius – the locket – R.A.B. – Kreacher …" Even as I reread it, I wonder if it needs to be changed. I understand it the second time through, so don't pay me any attention.

The OC was interesting, even though we saw her only briefly. I think that it was a wonderful little ficlet, and you did well writing a gender switch piece. It's really not as hard as you'd think, you just have to have a go with it.

Author's Response: Hmm, that's a good point - I guess I kind of wanted to show the disheveled state of his thoughts with that line, but it does still sound a little choppy, doesn't it?

Thanks so much for the kind words, glad you liked it!


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Review #8, by DeaVanity Because she smiled.

15th August 2009:
Hello, reviewing as requested... :)

This was dark. Angsty. Just like I imagined Regulus would be. I like it. Your descriptions and the way you told the story from Regulus' POV - it was great. One of the best one-shots I've ever read. The girl was great also, a real Hufflepuff and she was someone that could hardly be seen as somebody Reg would fancy.

I'll add this story to my favourites as I absolutely adore Regulus fics and I'm giving it 10/10.

btw. - don't continue this. I think that it's more effective this way ;D .

Thanks for requesting :)

~ DeaVanity

Author's Response: Yeah, I'm thinking that I'll just leave it as is; it's sort of more poignant when it's shorter, isn't it?

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :)


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Review #9, by ohcrapidroppedmybrain Because she smiled.

14th August 2009:
"The site's official rule on incorporating diary entries and letters into your stories is that only 1/3rd of any given chapter may be a diary entry or a letter while the other 2/3rds is narrative."

That is a ToS rule that I found while reading their tutorials. I don't want you to get in trouble or anything =]]

And your banner is rocking. Tell xdaanana (she did the banner right? It says xdaanana's banner/title challenge) that she did a great job on it=]].

Anyways, onto my review!

Wow, this was very dark and angsty! It took all of my will not to cry on the spot! What I liked most was Regulus's character and how he exactly became "R.A.B" (I call him "Rab" in my mind. Just a fun fact =]]).

Okay, so the letter with Sirius...genius! It really shows how much he cares about Sirius still even though Sirius made it quite clear he wants nothing to do with his family. I also like the fact that you gave Sirius and Regulus a Lily/Petunia type of relationship. The description of the poor little first year cornered by death eaters was very sad...and almost realistic (I think Dumbledore would of found out somehow what they were up to and put a stop to it).

ANYWAY, that night, she did what I didn’t have the courage to do. She saved the little first year, despite the fact that the five of us towered over her, could’ve completely broken her by barely lifting a finger. She stood up us, five Death Eaters in training.

I think that the "anyway" makes everything more rushed and less dark. He gets out of character. I suggest taking it out, but you don't have to take my advice. Sometimes, I really don't know what I'm talking about.

Going on, going on...

When I realized that the Death Eaters had jumped the poor Hufflepuff girl, I was like "No! How could they!" But as it is, it was nice of Regulus to try and heal her. The poor boy needed some courage! The girl really showed true characteristics of being a Hufflepuff (and no, I don't mean good finders like Cedric off of a Very Potter Musical. I mean loyal and caring). The way you wrote her was magnificent. I believe she is a truly unique character that can never be re-written like that again. And that description of her way lovely! Very Jo-ish.

My mouth was hanging open from the moment that girl died to the end. I couldn't believe you killed her off (nah, jk. I did. How else would Regulus become R.A.B?) It was well-written and possibly one of the best one-shots I have ever read.

Good job!

Author's Response: Hmm, hopefully it'll be alright, because I'm not a TA, so everything's been validated by a mod. ;) And I checked, one of my longtime fave authors, KimMalfoy, has a fic up as well that's 100% letter, so it seems to be fine :) Thanks for the concern, though.

Actually... I'm not too sure what's happening with the challenge. Haven't seen that thread in a while though, but if I find it I'll pass the msg along; it is a really pretty banner isn't it?

I'm glad you liked the transition to RAB, I guess I kind of wanted to explain the motivation behind it, y'know? I hadn't thought of it as a Lily/Petunia type of relationship before, but now that you bring it up, it's true.

I'm glad you liked the characterization! (And wow - the Jo-ish comment's such high praise). Thank you so much for the great review and the superkind words!


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Review #10, by midnightxskies Because she smiled.

14th August 2009:
I really loved this. I think you did an amazing job writing this letter from Regulus' perspective, as that's not easy to do.

I like the concept of him sending a letter to Sirius to mend their relationship and to explain his actions. I think you told how Regulus made his final decision very well.

His emotions were well written, and I like how just the one, plain, girl had such an effect on him because she was so much different than him in her values.

I loved it, and I can honestly find nothing to complain about. Good job :]!

Author's Response: Phew - it's always a good thing when there aren't any major complaints! I'm glad you liked it, and thanks a lot for all the super kind comments :)

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Review #11, by Jellyman Because she smiled.

22nd May 2009:
Wow, that was amazing. I loved how you incorporated jealousy as one of the key attributes in Regulus decision to follow his parents. I loved how that contrasted with him being influenced by your OC and the way she led him down the other path. Because she smiled. I loved how you made such a heartbreaking moment in Regulus' life the very turning point in what made him what was to become.

You created Regulus as such a real character - he was inexcusably flawed and he knew it! He was easily manipulated, easily swayed and always retained his conscience - he doesn't veer out of character once! Brilliant characterization :)

Really, I have no criticism! And I'm sure that pains you :P But seriously, this was so well done, I'm not really surprised. I love the format - a letter is a brilliant idea, by the way, makes me wonder if Sirius would have received it. I think this can stand on it's own actually! No continuation necessarily needed, because it's all explained so well in the letter. But it would be interesting... So pick what you want :) But, in my opinion, definitely a Regulus/OC - much more fun :3

Anyway, wonderful work! I loved it! 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the jealousy vein of the story; somehow I just envision there being a sense of sibling rivalry between Sirius and Regulus.

And of course, smiles can be so important sometimes, and have a huge impact.

Haha, don't worry, it's not too painful ;) Ego-inflation always feels good. I glad you liked the story/format/characterization! I think I'm just going to probably leave this as a one-shot Regulus/OC after all.

Thanks so much for all the super-kind words!


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Review #12, by WeasleyTwins Because she smiled.

20th May 2009:
Hello, WeasleyTwins here to review. Sorry for the extensive delay :]

First, I just want to say that you should capitalize the entire title, unless you choose otherwise. I suggest this because I have found that serious readers/reviewers of fanfiction prefer when a story's title is properly capitalized, spelled, etc.

That out of the way, I have to say that this is a powerful story. His pain is almost real, you describe the situation so excellently. I was just so intrigued by this young girl who changed it for Regulus. Smiles change people's lives every day and you have put that beauty into words. This is an excellent display of the inner struggles of a torn young man and your interpretation is just plain cool.

Overall, great job! 10/10

Shelby

Author's Response: Oh no worries :)

Hmm, come to think of it, capitalizing it might look better... I guess the only thing is, since I wrote this for a banner/title challenge, I just wanted to do it in keeping with what was given.

Smiles can make such a big difference for sure! I'm glad you liked the interpretation :) Thanks for the review!


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Review #13, by CrazyForYou Because she smiled.

2nd May 2009:
So far, I really like the beginning. I think the way you start out really expresses a lot of deep emotion, while still managing to not overwhelm the reader.

worked it - I think you mean worked it out.

dance three times - danced three times

Overall, I think you really managed to capture the passion and the raw feeling that Regulus feels. I like the way you weave mini stories throughout. The justification Regulus provided was very sincere and heart-felt.

I find Regulus a very difficult character to write, as he often become cliched or sterotypical, but I felt you managed to capture what could be his essence.

Very well done.

As far as a continuation, I think this story works great as a stand-alone piece.

Once again, fantastic job!

Author's Response: Ah, thanks for pointing out those typos :)

I tried to experiment a little, by going from Regulus's perspective, so it's great to hear that it was a relatively sucessful trial.

For the time being, I'm thinking that this will remain a one-shot.

Thanks a ton for the great feedback!


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Review #14, by DarkLadyofSlytherin Because she smiled.

8th January 2009:
hmm...I love it, I love Regulus. I love that he's so conflicted and so tired, and worn out. That he still loves his brother, and wants to be forgive for his past.

As for your dilemma, either or can work. Though, I'd love to see it continue in Regulus's pov more so than Sirius's, but that's entirely up to you.

Please let me know when the next chapter is up so I can read it.

Author's Response: Regulus is quite the intriguing character, isn't he? I'll see what I can do. ;) Thanks for the review!

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Review #15, by confusedlover Because she smiled.

2nd January 2009:
for some reason i am not logged in, but i am here to review anyway.

i really thought that this was a wonderful story. it was so deep and intricate, and it really seemed to hit me. the beauty of the plot, the tenderness of the characters- it just all really drew me in, and that is something that can be hard to accomplish.

this story had a nice pace to it and it did not feel rushed in any way. i noticed one little error, but it is nothing that a simple edit cannot fix.

overall, i thought that you did a wonderful job on this. the whole idea that this entire chapter is in the form of a letter is quite appealing. you kept this in the right lettering format, and i really have nothing terrible to correct you on. this was a very pleasurable read. keep writing.

Author's Response: Phew - really glad to hear that you were able to really get into the story.

Ah yes, the typos and such; when I get some spare time I'll definitely go back and try to get rid of those.

Glad you found it pleasurable to read. Thanks for the feedback!


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Review #16, by Lily Roselyn Because she smiled.

30th December 2008:
Huh. Well this is something. I really like the idea of Regulus writing Sirius a letter, even if Sirius never actually got it. The girl, too, that was good, and very original.

You have a few grammar mistakes. Here's what I'd do:
Just read it out loud to yourself, everyone always says that, I know, but I think it really helps, especially with flow, etc.

Anyway, this was great, I really like it C:

Cheers

Author's Response: That's good to hear!

Thanks for the suggestions, I'll definitely have to go back and root those out sometime, and try reading it out loud.

Thanks!


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Review #17, by Indigo Seas Because she smiled.

29th December 2008:
Hello! Is is Indigo from the forums, here with the review you requested.

Wow, that was such a fantastically, wonderfully, flawlessly written story. It just flowed so, so well, and all of the paragraphs melted into each other with really smooth transitions. It was amazing. Absolutely stunning.

Moving along from my drool-fest up there... ^__^ Really, I'm very impressed. The characterization of both Sirius and his brother and so very well done.

The descriptions were amazing as well. You could picture each scene very vividly in your head.

AND it sucked me in. That's sometimes a hard thing to do, as I'm not easily pulled into a story. But wow, this one sure made me keep my eyes on the page.

I don't have a single complaint. Really, it was flawless.

100/10!!

- Rin

Author's Response: Wow, you've totally just made my day ;) Thank you so much for the super high praise, not sure if the story really lives up to it all, but it's good ego-inflation. ;) Thank you!

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Review #18, by Daanana Because she smiled.

17th December 2008:
I have nothing to say. I'll probably come back to review some other time, because I need to let this sink in. It was gorgeous, beautiful, art. You wrote Regulus' character, his thoughts, so well. I'm just speechless.

Author's Response: You've really made my day. That in itself is exceptional praise! I don't even know what to say in repsonse - how fitting! A speechless response for a speechless review ;) Well, in any case, thank you!

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Review #19, by lia_2390 Because she smiled.

21st October 2008:
Hey frostedteardrops, it's Lia from the forums!

Here I was thinking that this was a romance from the title but it is anything but. I think it's a good twist actually.

To be honest, I was disturbed that Regulus would be writing such things to his brother in a letter but considering their situation, a visit would not have gone down well. I would've really liked to see Sirius' reaction to this though, especially the revelation that the girl he danced with at graduation was the same one Regulus and his friends tortured.

In my opinion, saying what he did in detail would make him regret what he did even more. Is that possible or do you have another reason for it?

It was pretty interesting to see that it was a girl made Regulus turn, slowly but surely and all she had to do was smile.

Good Job.
Lia.

Author's Response: Hi there - sorry for the huge delay in response, first off. I'm glad you thought that was a good twist ;)

I think that at that point Regulus was getting pretty desperate - I mean, he had to have known from what Kreacher told him that chances were he wouldn't make it out alive, from destroying the Horcrux. It would be interesting to see Sirius's reaction; to tell you the truth, I hadn't really imagined that as a continuation originally.

I guess it does hurt him to admit it all, but as this is sort of him going to his death, it's a last memento of sorts, all honesty, nothing held back.

Thanks for the great review!


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Review #20, by maraudersmap Because she smiled.

21st October 2008:
Hi, this is maraudersmap from the forum. :)

Wow. I'm speechless.

I've always been very fascinated by Regulus' character, and I think your take on him is... well, marvelous. I rarely cry when I read fanfiction, but this actually brought a tear to my eye.. :)

Your writing is simple, elegant and beautiful. It's perfect. The fact that it was a letter to Sirius from Regulus was brilliant. It made the whole chapter much more personal, and in turn, more touching.

I like that Regulus always admired Sirius and wanted to be like him, and the reason he wasn't. You wrote his conflicting emotions very well.

I loved how you repeated the line: 'because she smiled'. It was so simple and heartbreaking at the same time. Everything changed because she smiled.

That he kept watching her but never actually dared to talk to her was so sad! She meant so much to him without even knowing it. Or did she? I love your description of her eyes, by the way.

I'm trying to be constructive, I really am. It's just so hard when this story is so wonderful. Perhaps the ending was a little awkward? Don't get me wrong - I love the idea of her being the reason Regulus did what he did - but the ending paragraphs seemed a little unnatural.

This would have been perfect as a one-shot as well! If you do continue it, though, I'd love for it to be a Regulus/OC. Overall: Amazing! :D

Author's Response: Sorry for the huge delay in response, it's been pretty hectic lately. *hands you a virtual tissue* that's an amazing compliment in itself. :)

The line 'Because she smiled' was the title of the banner/title challenge, so I tried to incorporate it as centrally as possible. Really happy to hear that that came across well.

Did she indeed?

Okay, thanks for pointing out the awkwardness of the ending -- I'd been a little worried about inching towards cliche-dom. Thank you so much for the lovely comments!


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Review #21, by Phoenix_Flames Because she smiled.

20th October 2008:
This was really good and quite uinque. I loved the letter between Sirius and Regulus.

You're really a great writer. You had excellent spelling, grammar, and characterizations. That's so great! You don't find that very often. I really don't have much criticism for you, other than it was truly fantastic.

Good job!

10/10

Author's Response: I'm glad that there weren't any major issues to critisize. Aww, thanks so much for the super kind comments! =)

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Review #22, by dramaqueen6 Because she smiled.

19th October 2008:
Hey! So here's my review, sorry it took so long!

First of all, I really liked the feel of this story. I loved that it was a letter from Regulas to Sirius, apologizing and explaining. It was a very original and beautiful idea.

I also love your writing style, it's simple, and makes for a great read. Sorry I couldn't give you anything to improve on! I really liked it. Ooh! One thing which wasn't really a big deal were the few little grammatical or spelling errors, but with a looking over, those can be fixed.

So amazing job on this!

-dramaqueen6

Author's Response: No worries :) RL always comes first.

Okie doke, I'll definitely get on fixing those typos and such. Thanks so much for all the kind words! :)

-Issy


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Review #23, by RubySky Because she smiled.

15th October 2008:
First of all, I want to say I'm sorry that it took me so long to review this. School is keeping me very busy lately. But now, lets get to your review:

I'm a huge fan of Regulas/OC stories, and the ship itself, so I
was very biased to like this before reading it. But luckily, I
didn't need to be biased because this is very good anyway :)

The spelling is very good, and the grammer is as almost as good as the spelling. The pace of the story is very good as well, you can keep it in line with the whole chapter. The chapter itself was a nice lenght for one chapter because you got to the point of the story without losing some description in the story while you did so. The letter format was also, a very clever idea to write the chapter in.

The characterisation of Regulas is very good. Since we don't get a detailed characterisation of him in the books, we created one for him in the fandom, but either way, you matched your characterisation of him well to either one. You can him the correct emotions and thoughts you'd imagine he would be having if this happened it him.

My favourite part of the chapter was when Regulas and the girl he liked so much were staring at each other, and then she smiled. It was so well written, but so sad at the same time. And it shows you are good at writing the climatic scene.

Overall, I'd give this 10/10. I just loved it. It was writing so well and beautifully.

Author's Response: I know how it is; I've been pretty busy lately as well, sorry for the delay in response.

I've just recently discovered the interesting ship that's Regulus/OC, actually, but it does seem to be an intriguing one. Thanks for the great praise - I'm really glad that the characterisation of Regulus came across well either way.

Yep, this was for a title/banner challenge, and I figured that I'd center the whole story around the concept of "because she smiled" - I'd been a little worried that I went overboard with it, so thanks for the reassurance! I'm really glad you enjoyed the story, thanks again for the great review!


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Review #24, by savagebeginnings Because she smiled.

14th October 2008:
Hi! This is babygohan from the forums! Also, a big, huge sexy cookie for you for the Regulus fic!

Wow. Just wow. This was definitely one of the most beautiful things that I have ever read! It was just perfect! I've recently started to explore Regulus's character and I must say that you have it down perfectly!! Everything about him--his character, his thoughts, his feelings--everything was just perfect! I really have nothing to critique here! You had me at the edge of my seat near the end! This is definitely going into my favorites!

I really think you should go on with the Regulus/OC idea! There are plenty of Sirius/OC stories out there and very few about Regulus! So there's pretty much nothing but praise in this review!

Overall, it was perfectly amazing and I loved it to pieces!! Please feel free to request of me again!! ^-^

Author's Response: A cookie - yummy!

Aww, thank for the amazingly high praise! I'm not too sure if the story lives up to it, but it's always good ego-inflation, lol. Regulus is a rather interesting character to explore; there just seems to be so much of him that's open to interpretation from the details that we've been given in the books.

Yep, I'm thinking that the whole Sirius/OC thing is out the window - Regulus has really taken over the story more than I'd originally intended. ;)

Thanks for the amazing review - and I just might take you up on that offer ;)


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Review #25, by onestop_hpfan18 Because she smiled.

14th October 2008:
Hey, onestop_hpfan18 from the forums here to review as requested. I thought you did a nice job writing from Regulus's POV, especially since he's a character of many shady sides that have yet to be filled.

Definitely writing this as a Regulus/OC would make a lot more since than continuing it as a Sirius/OC even though it would still make sense to write it that way as well. Either way you decide to go with this would be interesting, but I think it'd be more intriguing to read a Regulus/OC since there really is too many Sirius/OC stories out there. Overall, nice chapter and good luck with the rest of the story! 8/10

Author's Response: Regulus is a mysterious figure indeed. Alrighty, yep, I think that if it actually continues (for the time being it's just a one-shot) it'll most likely be Regulus/OC. Thanks foro the review!

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