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Reading Reviews for Ryan
  
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by simi potter Chapter 5

4th April 2010:
omg i loved it
it is so interesting
hope u update soon

Author's Response: hey simi!
sorry to disappoint, love, but I won't be updating this any time soon, I've lost all my inspiration for this. :(
love
Ak~


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Review #2, by simi potter Prologue

3rd April 2010:
I like the prologue
it is interesting
simi

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Review #3, by Squid7000 Chapter 2

30th March 2010:
Aww, Victoire's nice:) I'm glad that she is, it makes me a bit sad when people write her as totally evil. I mean, I KNOW that totally evil people can make for an intersting story . . . but totally evil Weasley's kind of make me sad.

And Nina knows that Victoire is her cousin? Is that because Katie referred to George as "Uncle George?" Just curious:)

Squid

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Review #4, by Squid7000 Chapter 1

30th March 2010:
Cool chap! I think it's awesome how you introduced the characters in the prologue and now we see how, like, Ken and Nina met and all and Victoire and Ryan. I always love thinking about people's lives and how they progress. Like, people just meeting, not knowing they'll be fall in love and stuff. It's fun.

Sorry, I'm easily entertained:)

Great job!

Squid

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Review #5, by Squid7000 Prologue

30th March 2010:
Oooh, I just started reading, but I really like it so far! Very mysterious, very great, though I'm a bit apprehensive to learn about what happened to Ryan. I'm a sucker for happy endings and it doesn't sound thus far that he and Nina will be getting one . . . .

Great fic so far! Can't wait to read more!

Squid

Author's Response: Thanks a bunch x

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Review #6, by miss_aurora Chapter 5

22nd March 2010:
I totally missed this update somehow, but anyhow, I'm glad that I manage to spot it this time. Victoire... I'm not quite sure what to say about her, but I couldn't categorize her as the wrong party, yet it seems like she's the bane of Nina's life, well sort of. First Ryan, then Teddy.. Though it's completely ok actually, other than the fact that Teddy forgets to mention it to Nina at some point, I can understand why Nina was so upset about the whole thing. I mean, it's hard to build another trust and being crushed (sort of) somehow, but well, where's Ryan?

Thanks for the update anyway! :)

Author's Response: I'm so sorry love.
I didn't think this story was going anywhere, so I decided to discontinue it. :'(
love
Ak~


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Review #7, by Laugharama_llama Prologue

3rd March 2010:
Hey, I'm finally here with your review from the forums! I'm sorry for the long wait.

The only problem I have with this prologue is the way you explicitly stated the whole Fred Weasley & Katie Bell have an illegitimate child issue right off the bat. Important facts like that can be weaved into the story, and are better used for plot development. Also, since this was the prologue, you could have used it to capture the reader's attention with sort of a bang :)

Overall, the plot seems to be well though out, but I think you can use a lot of information that you have here for plot development, and to make the reader curious. Usually, prologues are used to show a snippet of some important scene to catch the reader's attention. The wedding was a good example of that, but since this is a prologue, maybe the Katie/Fred issue shouldn't have been brought about in as much detail as you did.

I hope you take as cc, because that's how I meant it! Happy writing :)

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing the Fred/Katie thing out..I'll work on it!
the thing is, this is in the process of being edited, so it'll def have a couple of mistakes!
Didn't I mention that they were engaged then? Damn! My bad! Sorry!
I'll go fix that, then!
thanks for reviewing!
love
Aakanksha


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Review #8, by sinwillys822 Chapter 5

1st March 2010:
I AM STILL HERE CAN'T WAIT TO READ WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

Author's Response: Yaay!
Great to see that I have readers left! :)
Thanks for reviewing! :)
love
Aakanksha


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Review #9, by propertyoftheHBP Chapter 2

27th February 2010:
Good chapter! Again, it seemed somewhat short, but that wasn't really a bad thing.

I loved this line;
"She decided not to wake you up as she thought you needed your 'beauty sleep' and insisted that we go out so that she could change you."
It definitely seems like something Fleur's daughter would say. :)

This line also stood out to me;
"Now, this situation that I am in was weird."
You're switching tenses, it should say "Now, this situation that I was in was weird." Or, if you'd like it to serve as Nina's thoughts, you could italicize it and write, "Now, this situation I am in is weird." Sorry if I seem nitpicky, but things like this can stand out to me.

This is a good story you've got going here! I've reviewed my standard three chapters, but feel free to rerequest if you'd like!
--propertyoftheHBP

Author's Response: Thank you for taking out the time to review! I'll fix those errors! :)
love
Aakanksha
P.S: I'll re-request soon! :)


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Review #10, by propertyoftheHBP Chapter 1

26th February 2010:
Ahh, I think I now get why the prologue was in italics. ;)

This did seem a tad short, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Sometimes quick reads are refreshing.

The grammar was improved, but, again, the paragraphs should be split up more.

Description was nice; I liked the way you described Ryan's eyes. And, again, I loved Nina's character!

I'm sorry this review isn't so long, but I haven't got much else to say. Great chapter, an improvement on the last. On to the next! :D

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! L)
love
Ak~


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Review #11, by propertyoftheHBP Prologue

26th February 2010:
propertyoftheHBP here with your reviews! I do apologize that it took me so long to get to them.

Right, then. First off, I'd like to say that I really enjoy the character you've given Nina. The way you write her is spunky and energetic, and very entertaining.

For this chapter, as it was a prologue, the length didn't bother me at all. I'll see if, in the next two chapters, it bothers me more, but right now you're good with that.

Description? I think you're doing well there, too. The first sentence is incredibly simple, but I got so much from it.

Also, why is the whole of this chapter in italics? Is this a flashback? As most stories I read are in regular print, the italics were a bit distracting. As well, so are the length of the paragraphs. When writing dialogue, you should make a new paragraph every time a different character speaks. The beginning chapter can also be split up more, just to make it easier to read.

The grammar wasn't terribly distracting, but I'd recommend a beta.

Overall? Good start you've got! I can't wait to get on to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Yaay!
Actually, I'm thinking of modifying the whole thing myself. I've gotten a bit better as compared to the time when I wrote this (about three years ago) so it'll be better.
It's in italics since it's the present. The normal print is the past since that's where everything takes place! :)

Glad you're reading on!
love
Aakanksha


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Review #12, by butterbeergal Chapter 1

23rd February 2010:
Let me just say that I'm not a girly girl so Nina is definitely my cup of tea. She seems funny and quirky. Coming from the prologue, I was definitely interested to find out more about Nina and Ryan's relationship. I also noticed that Ken (in the prologue) seems to be very comfortable with their relationship for him to want to hear what went on between them. I imagine if I were the fiance, I wouldn't really want to know too much about her previous relationships. But that's just me, and besides, I'm a girl so I don't really know what goes on in men's brains. Tee hee.

In this chapter, I have to say I found things moving a bit too quickly for me, but then again, that's my personal preference. I like a good build up, I like hearing the character's thoughts, especially since this is in the first person POV. Oh, and Victoire just seems to always get the most eligible guys, eh? Lucky her. Tee hee. I also noticed that Ryan didn't seem too excited and surprised when she arrived. Did he know that she was moving to Hogwarts? (I guess I'll know in the next chapter hihihi). I liked how you described Ryan's eyes - they seem mesmerizing. It would be great if you could add more details, make this a bit longer. :)

Author's Response: yeah, I'm working on that. In fact I'm planning on getting this down and posting it all over again! :)

I appreciate the crit and I hope you'll like the upcoming chapters! I have the nest 50% ready and will post asap! :)

All the posted chapters aren't that great and need badly to be changed. So when I have time, I'll be deleting this and starting all over again. Yup, my mind's made up! :-|

Thanks for reviewing! And the crit too, I'll keep that in mind! :)
Hugs,
Aakanksha


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Review #13, by amyincharleston Chapter 4

28th December 2009:
This chapter was awesome! Teddy's character is great and everyone's character seems to be fitting together

Author's Response: Thanks! It means a great deal!

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Review #14, by amyincharleston Chapter 2

28th December 2009:
Okay so I think Victoire changing Nina's clothes is pretty awkward to be honest. Other than that situation, I like the chapter and the meeting. If anything, you could probably add more details and explanation

Author's Response: IS it? -shrugs-
oh well.
Thanks for pointing that out, I'll think about it! :)
love
Ak~


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Review #15, by amyincharleston Chapter 1

28th December 2009:
It might be helpful to have a little more introduction to Ryan and Nina's friendship before you just jump right in. It is a little confusing. Interested to see what happens with Victoire

Author's Response: Right, I'll keep that in mind! Thanks!

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Review #16, by amyincharleston Prologue

28th December 2009:
Interesting fanfic so far. When you're writing in italics, I think it would look nice if for emphasis you just used regular type instead of bold. The bold is kind of overkill.

Author's Response: Yeah, I noticed. ;)
thanks for reviewing! :)
love
Ak~


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Review #17, by rhea Chapter 4

17th May 2009:
im not very good at this reviewing thing...but...i wanted to tell you that this is one of my favorite stories ever...:DD...lol.

and that i liked the old banner better lol
and that your a great writer.
keep writing plzzz!

Author's Response: Aw! thank sso much!
:D
Ak~


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Review #18, by leah Chapter 4

20th April 2009:
hey! grat story. plz update soon! i realy like your work.
btw, tht banner is gorgeous! im assuming so since it doesnt say otherwise. do you think you could make me a banner for 1 of muh stories?

Author's Response: Um..actually, I'd forgotten to credit! my bad.. so it's actually made by klutzy_kara at TDA! TDA is the-dark-arts . net.
Thanks for the awesome review.. won't be updating due to stupid writers block!
~emma


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Review #19, by HPlover101 Chapter 4

23rd February 2009:
Poor Nina! So is anything going to conspire between her and Teddy, I wonder? Update soon!

Author's Response: Ya..I was wondering that too! Lol..no updates as of now..new project @ hand..still..will try! Thanks for reviewing!
~emmapotter


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Review #20, by sinwillys822 Chapter 4

25th January 2009:
well i think she should tell teddy the correct answer to his question. hope you add soon.

Author's Response: ya well..I think I will...I won't be updatin' fr a while as my xamz are coming up..but will try in 2nd week of March or so..
Thanks for the review..I appreciate it...
~emmapotter


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Review #21, by louise_loves_hp Chapter 4

24th January 2009:
its a great story but there is one thing who are rose's perents?

Author's Response: Um...Oliver Wood and Anna Johannes Wood.I haven't introduced them in the story yet..I may do that soon...But not in the next few months..on short hiatus due to STUPID exams...LOL.
Anyway..thanx for reviewing..appreciate it..
~emmapotter


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Review #22, by sinwillys822 Chapter 3

2nd December 2008:
yes, yes, weasley's should know about nina, and maybe victoire's jealousy will get the better of her

Author's Response: lol..maybe they will...maybe they won't..I noe you h8 wat I'm doing but I can't help it! LOL..you'll see
~~emmapotter~~
P.S: Thanks for the review!


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Review #23, by Rockstar101 Chapter 3

18th November 2008:
I think including a letter is an awesome idea! Great job!

Author's Response: Thanx a lot! I appreciate every review!

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Review #24, by Rockstar101 Chapter 2

18th November 2008:
It's good :) I suggest you add more to the second part. Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!

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Review #25, by Rockstar101 Chapter 1

18th November 2008:
I don't think you should edit this, It sounds really good!

Author's Response: thank you so much..

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