Reading Reviews for A Dying Legacy
  
260 Reviews Found

Review #1, by spellboundtimetraveler Trapped

19th December 2013:
Wow. Just Wow. Amazing.

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Review #2, by Hayfah Trapped

7th December 2013:
I'm so excited for the new chapter. So far this has been a delight to read. There are a few errors in spelling, and if I were smart I would have took a note to tell you exactly where. Sorry. Doesn't make me dislike the story at all though. It's awesome.

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Review #3, by Reviewer Trapped

21st September 2013:
Are you continuing this story? Please do...

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Review #4, by carter Trapped

16th September 2013:
IT HAS NO ENDING. BUT ILL COME BACK AND KEEP CHECKING IF IT GETS ONE, IF IT DOSE'NT GET ONE THEN I HATE IT

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Review #5, by Crescent Moon  Trapped

15th September 2013:
I love this story.
I know this is a bit of a long shot but can you please continue with it, I really want to know what's going to happen.

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Review #6, by TaylorAnnMitchell92 Trapped

5th September 2013:
This is great! Keep it up!!

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Review #7, by forsakenphoenix Family

9th January 2012:
I really want to know who the Leader is! It's driving me nuts that I don't know. But I guess that's the point. Keep us hooked and ready to keep reading so we find all the answers to our burning questions.

I kind of love your Scorpius. I have a soft spot for him, no matter how he's characterized, and he's so lovely here with his love for Muggle composers and piano playing. It made me feel angry for him, that Astoria kept trying to coddle him and pretend she wasn't crying. He's old enough to know what's going on, and I know I'd be frustrated if my family wasn't telling me anything, pretending that things were fine. His determination to save his father is endearing and I wonder if he'll play a role in trying to discover a cure. I just hope he doesn't come down with the virus first. :(

So, does Pansy know more about the virus than the others? Is that why the Leader killed her rather than taking her to St. Mungo's where the others are? Though I'm kind of glad she's dead. She was really annoying, with her snide remarks and her obvious disregard for human life, until it was her own affected.

I was surprised at how short this chapter was compared to the rest, but I think it fit to stop there rather than continue forward. I like short chapters better - I can get more reading done faster. :D

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Review #8, by forsakenphoenix No Pureblood is Safe

9th January 2012:
I was wondering why the Healers weren't using blood-replenishing potions, but I hoped you'd have a reason for it - and you do, of course! It's kind of mystifying, isn't it? The effect the disease has. Sapping them of their ability to perform magic and magic having no effect on it.

It's interesting that it was supposed to be used for Mudbloods and now it's turned the tables on those who were trying to persecute those Mudbloods in the first place. I wonder what sort of science and magic had to go into that virus so that it only targeted a specific blood group, like the intended Mudbloods.

The opening scene was a great choice. Seeing the panic and devastation as the disease progressed and still seeing the prejudice of some Purebloods, even if it meant living or dying. It's sad and terrifying how quickly this virus is spreading throughout the Wizarding community. Hopefully there are enough Muggleborns working at St. Mungo's so they don't lose all the people they need to help those afflicted.

Hermione and Rose's interactions are interesting. I never expected them to clash as much as they do. Rose seems fiercely independent, but she's also a daddy's girl, that's for sure. I also loved how they had a television at home - just a little something from Hermione's past life that makes it obvious they're a blended family. Of course Rose gets stuck with the job no one else wants, but I think it'd be good for her. She obviously has a sense of adventure and traveling to Russia is something new to experience. It also helps tie everything together, Russia with Rose, and the vial with the virus and Goyle.

Your descriptions, once again, are your strong suit. You're very good at painting scenes, giving the reader the chance to imagine the settings with the details you provide. I loved the details of the Malfoy library and having Scorpius playing the piano too was a nice touch. I always did picture the rich Purebloods as aristocratic and can imagine having to learn multiple languages (as evidenced by the books in the library) and playing the piano. The life of the privileged. I feel like, with Draco, we really got to see the terror of those affected by the virus. It was a bit more real than when Goyle was brought to St. Mungo, and maybe it was because I know now that it's a virus and that many Purebloods are affected that makes me feel a bit of sympathy for Draco, even though is involvement makes it seem like he deserves to be sick as well. Still, it must be scary to start coughing up all that blood and not being able to perform magic.

I'm going to try not to make suggestions every chapter because I'm sure it can get discouraging but I have to make a couple of comments. So a few times when you're writing dialogue, you use a period rather than a comma to separate the speech from the dialogue tags. Also, when your speaker is talking to another character and addressing them by name, you should use a comma before the name. So, for example, if Hermione says, "You need a job, Rose." - there's a comma before Rose.

Anyway, you certainly have a very unique story and it's amazing at how you've come up with this idea of a virus that affects only Purebloods and the detail that goes into this type of story is incredible. I can't wait to see what Rose finds out in Russia and what the Wizarding world is going to do with this virus!

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Review #9, by forsakenphoenix Patient Zero

9th January 2012:
Ah, everything is getting so intense! I really do love the switching back and forth to different locations. Like I said in the prologue, it works well with this fic. You keep us intrigued by having us view the story from two different sides of the story - with the Next Gen kids getting it second hand from the Prophet and then again with Goyle and the group of cloaked figures.

I totally did NOT guess Goyle, by the way! He killed Solovyov? I'm guessing by the lack of concern for Goyle's vomiting and coughing up blood that that circle of people had no idea what that vial would do. I was really surprised when Pansy made an appearance as well. Is Draco involved in this at all, I wonder? If this little group is trying to resurrect something similar to the Death Eaters under Voldemort's rule, maybe? I wonder who the leader is...

I enjoyed the little inclusion of the Next Gen kids too. You've written them very well here, at least Molly, Rose, and Albus. You've given us a bit of their personalities in the little that they're included in this chapter and I can't wait to see them explored fully.

There were a few suggestions I wanted to point out. I hope you don't mind! I would try to read through your chapter because at some points your repetition of 'the man' or 'the cloaked figure' made it a bit hard to follow which character you were talking about. I know it's hard when you're trying not to reveal the identity of your character but it made the flow seem a bit awkward sometimes. For example: The man that had been following the man that had fallen - the repetition of 'the man that had' just seems a bit of a mouthful, I guess. I think your best bet would to stay consistent so rather than saying 'the man that had fallen' you could say 'the cloaked figure' to stay with how you'd been referring to him throughout that section of the story. It's just a suggestion, though, like all of my comments, so you don't necessarily need to pay them any mind. :)

Also, "Its stone floor of the was covered in big dark puddles that splashed dirty water whenever one of the men stepped in them." - 'of the' seems to be unnecessary in this sentence, unless you're missing a word like 'street' or whatnot. And, "Some were gasping, other whispering" - other should be others.

You're definitely keeping this story pretty fast paced and it's all very exciting! I just want to keep reading and reading to find out what's going to happen with all those patients, how this disease will progress and spread, and what role do the Next Gen kids play in it!

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Review #10, by forsakenphoenix Prologue

9th January 2012:
So, I was going to pick one of your lesser reviewed stories but the summary really drew me to this story first. Well, the summary and your gorgeous banner, of course. ;)

It seems like a cop out to review your short prologue, because it's only the beginning of what seems like a fantastical tale just waiting to be told. I might just continue reading and reviewing and then you'll have even more reviews to answer! Not that that's a bad thing...

I love your description in this, very detailed and vivid. The section headings make me think of those movies where they type the year and location when they jump time. It works really well here. The sharp contrast between 2004 and 2024 is wonderful. I can picture a young Dr. Solovyov, beautiful in his youth, at an institute close to failing. It seems kind of ironic that once he receives the funding to continue his research that he ages so quickly. You'd think being stressed prior to lack of funding would make him more weary. But then you realize what he's been doing - sort of. Concocting some sort of potion that this unknown man wants desperately enough to kill for. We kind of get an idea of what the vial contains, simply from your summary, but the intrigue of it all - who this man is, if the contents of the vial are actually ready, what he's going to do with it - it really makes the readers desperate to know more, to continue reading to find out what happens.

Dr. Solovyov's attempts to keep the vial from the man make me curious if he really was just worried about it not being ready, or if there was something else that kept him from wanting the contents to fall into this man's hands.

One minor correction. You wrote: "You have been given enough time already" the cloaked man hissed - there should be a comma following 'already.' Otherwise, your betas have done a fabulous job. I love well-written stories. ^-^

I've been meaning to check your stories out for a while now, and getting you to your 100th unanswered review seems like good enough motivation. I'm going to try to get through a few more chapters tonight - I'm really curious as to what's going to happen next! I love these types of stories, so very different from the usual rom-com junk you find on the archives nowadays. Very refreshing and nicely done!

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Review #11, by Beeezie Prologue

12th October 2011:
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your review!

First, a few quick mechanical notes:
- The third paragraph (starting "Behind the desk") - he was sleeping in the chair, not on it.
- The fifth paragraph (starting "He petted the owl") - he turned the envelope over, not just turned the envelope.
- The twelfth paragraph from the bottom (starting "You have been given") - there should be a comma after "already".
- The fourth paragraph from the bottom (starting "After twenty years") - I would say that Solovyov wanted to argue or started to argue, not went to argue.
- Toward the end, the cloaked figure summons the flask, which moves to his right hand, but then Solovyov tries to reach it before the man can grab it. I was a little confused there about the sequence of events.

Those are all really minor, of course, but I thought I'd point them out. :)

Beyond the tiny mechanical things - I'm really intrigued! I love epidemiology, so I foresee myself really enjoying this story!

This was an excellent prologue. It provided enough information to give me an idea of what is going to follow while still leaving me with plenty of questions. Right now, I'm wondering who the cloaked figure was, what the flask is supposed to do, and whether the disease is engineered to strike purebloods or whether it was meant to go after muggleborns but backfires. (Also, what makes muggleborns immune, and where halfbloods fit into the picture!) It's well-written and a really terrific idea, and I can't wait to read more of it!

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Review #12, by May_Diggory_Weasley Trapped

5th September 2011:
THIS IS SO GOOD!
The whole story is so sad but good at once. is it by any chance inspired by the declaration trilogy (namely the legacy???) coz if so I LOVE THOSE BOOKS! :)

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Review #13, by Matiilda Trapped

5th September 2011:
Such an interesting and original idea for a story - always thought that. Your grammar and spelling etc has improved so, so much since the beginning, which I find brilliant. At least I find myself easily disturbed from the story if the text is incorrect. I love the plot anyway, I reckon it's worth being nominated to the Dobby Awards, too bad I haven't got an account over there at the forums!

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Review #14, by LilyFire Prologue

20th May 2011:
This definitely captures my attention. It's a great leading chapter, and certainly makes me wonder about what the extra instructions were. It makes me want to keep reading. I like the air of mystery you've created about the whole project and the people involved. It's great!
~LilyFire

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Review #15, by emilysoxo Harvesting

15th May 2011:
I really like this! Really interesting idea. However, its seeming a little slow. I get the different perspectives but since most of the characters are not developed enough, it is difficult to empathize with the characters suffering from the disease. Perhaps I'm only whining because the story really is only just beginning and i quite like the idea.
Regardless, cant wait for the update!
Cheers em

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Review #16, by adahpfan Harvesting

29th April 2011:
Wow! This story is A-MAZ-ING!!! I've read the whole thing in about half an hour while the rest of my friends watch TV- that's how good it is, I can't even pull myself away for david tennant! 10/10 and please update asap

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Review #17, by allypaigex3 Harvesting

12th April 2011:
Remembering what was said in the summary of the story, and then reading along in the story, around chapter 6 or 7, I began realizing that all of the named patients, weren't at all Muggleborn.

Good writing, a few grammatical errors, but who doesn't have them?

Next update please(:

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Review #18, by BKL8008 Harvesting

1st March 2011:
The cure, Muggleborn blood?
Could be?
Good twist!

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Review #19, by BKL8008 In Shock

1st March 2011:
Excellent chapter.
Poor Blaise, he always gets to be the bad guy in fanfic, it seems!
LOL

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Review #20, by BKL8008 Control

1st March 2011:
And it just keeps getting worse! hehe
Poor Scorpius...

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Review #21, by BKL8008 Slipping Through the Cracks

1st March 2011:
Good ploy with the politicians lying and covering things up. Entirely believable. Good character captures with Ginny, James, and Albus. That was a great part where she ordered him to leave.

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Review #22, by BKL8008 No Pureblood is Safe

1st March 2011:
"Shut up, Pansy!"
Probably one of the best lines ever!
I like where the story is going and the effects that it has.
Good plot building.

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Review #23, by BKL8008 Instructions

26th February 2011:
Sorry I've not R/R'd in a while!
The story just keeps getting better and better. I especially like how the character of Rose is turning out, and a great cliffhanger of an ending!

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Review #24, by sarahmadison Harvesting

22nd February 2011:
well its about time. Welcome back. I do hope we get a quick update. Im curious as to what Hermione's idea is. Will both the muggle and wizard world work together.

I can't understand, since I don't remember, why the person who unleashed this havoc would want to eliminate all pure-bloods? is it to eliminate prejudice?

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Review #25, by gingersnape Family

22nd February 2011:
The plot is really just above anything I've read in a while because it's so different and yet I can relate t all of your very well written characters. it's incredible how close I feel to some of these characters who I hadn't even read just an hour or two ago. Your description and the way the words just sort of rise and fall from the screen... oh it's just beautiful! I am in love with your writing and the description is incredible!
Once again, I can't wait for the next chapter,
-ginger

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