I like that chapter. Is that Rowena's point of view? Report Review
For this being your hated tense and pov, I thought you pulled off both beautifully. It was so... heartwrenching. Rowena's pain and sorrow leaped off the page and I felt for her. You characterized her amazingly, a brilliant mind dying from a broken heart. The plot worked very well with the pov. Usually with this pov, it would be easy to fall into the trap of abusing 'you' until the reader gets sick of it. You however were carefully with using it sparingly which made for great reading. The last part, the part where she wrote her farewell in the dust was easily my favourite. It was absolutely heartbreaking, profound and powerful. The length was short but I didn't mind at all. In fact, it enhanced the story, making the emotions more raw than if you had rambled on unnecessarily. This was an amazing one-shot, I think you should be proud of it. =D. 10/10
~Misty Report Review
So, thanks to your idea, I'm finally here. Again. I've missed your writing, did you know that? I should have done this a long time ago, but since I haven't, here I am.
I remember you telling me once (I think it was in a review for Vanity?) that you hate second person and first person. Trust Blaire to have given you this! But I adore it, for shiz. It's hard to wrap your head around it, but it's very real and very touching. You've captured the essence of what second person can do - well, what any POV can do. Coupled with present tense, it feels the most natural. I really do love the way you pulled this off, stylistically and plot-wise. I am fond of the Founders, even if I will never touch them again, but seriously... I don't know what else to say. You have characterized Rowena in a way I wouldn't have considered, as an almost doting mother. Painfully real. Her despair is tangible in her words, most of all when she writes in the dust. I think Helena has been killed already, right? Which makes the action futile and all the more painful.
LOVED it, basically. It feels good to review again. ^_^Author's Response: YAYAGUBBYREVIEW.
And you have? -blush attack- Thank you. :] You're too nice.
I know, isn't Blaire mean? >_> Second POV and present tense are really hard, but your compliments make the hard writing seem worth it. I'm so glad you liked the plot - I wasn't sure if it was too stretched out and boring, but I'd spent so much time writing it that I had to put it up. And yes, Helena was already dead I imagined, so...yeah. :[ Poor Rowena.
Thank you! Report Review
Aw, Ali, that was so bittersweet. Your portrayal of Rowena Ravenclaw is really nice and wow, you wrote in second person! *giggles* I can imagine how hard it is but you pulled it off really well. Kudos to you, girl! I felt so sorry for Rowena while reading this. You did her justice...but seriously? Is there anyone more beautiful than her? (er yeah, stupid question, don't answer it)
I'd have liked to read more about Rowena's husband and her backstory but that's about the only thing, I liked everything else and I enjoyed reading this. Good job, Ali. ILY!Author's Response: Thank you Tahi! You're way too cool for everything. ^-^
And yeah. Second person basically killed me. D: Do you know how many times I kept writing I or she, and then had to go back and change it? A lot. >_> But I'm really glad you thought it was okay! And thank you. :) As for anyone more beautiful than her? ...er, I dunno. Well, she doesn't think so. :P
And I'll try and add some more in one day. Thanks Tahi! AND ILY BACK! Report Review
I don't normally read Founders-era fics, but I'm glad I clicked on this one! I liked the use of second person--it had me guessing the entire way, trying to figure out who was speaking. I never thought Rowena Ravenclaw would end up this way and die so young. Nicely written, but I think it would have had a better effect if you used the kind of language they used back in the Founders-era. But I do like your writing style. :) Great one-shot!Author's Response: Thank you so much! And it's great you liked my use of second person, as I find it so hard. Oooh, you're completely right and I never thought of that idea. I should edit this story and add that in! ^_^
Thank you so much, queen_luna! Report Review
The descripitions in the story are great. The characterizations were good. It was interesting to read it in this tense. Overall, very good story.Author's Response: Oh! Thank you very much! Report Review
Ali, oh, Ali. You are...in a word, fabulous. This was so brilliant. Shivers again. I really, really loved it. I mean, the love...and the emotion, and the tense, and the words, it was just all written so well. The last line is so, so sad and exquisite. I honest to god love you, Ali. Really. *dies* I have no more words.
MajaxxAuthor's Response: You so had another word. P:
'Majaxx' is so a word. Well, a name and x's but...yeah. P:
thank you so much, though!
ILY. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection