Hey Len, here for INKSTAIN's Round Robin. I love the interaction with Remus and Mary in here. It's absolutely perfect. There are a few grammar things that could use tweaking, but on the whole, as with most of your writing, it's flawless. I'm totally in love with this story and can't wait for the final chapter! :) And wow, that ending! It's spectacular.
Congratulations on a beautiful fic, my dear! :)
XOXO, KalinaAuthor's Response: Kali,
Again, Thank you so much for coming and reading something I've written. I enjoy hearing from you, and I'm glad you have enjoyed what you have read so far of this fic. Report Review
I'm going to be slightly nitpicky first. Portkey is one word. 'I sat there shaking as he was lead to the elevator' should be '...led to the elevator.' Auror and Floo should both always be capitalized.
Now that the nitpicking is done, I thought this was another excellent chapter. You do a good job building Mary's terror and sadness at having to face her parents' killer and it really makes you feel for her. Remus is very likeable and supportive in the bits of him that we see here and in the first chapter.
I also really like your descriptions of the interior of the Ministry and the way the Auror's offices are set up.
I said in my first review that your writing seems polished and mature, and I'm sticking by that. Another excellent chapter.Author's Response: Thank you so much for another excellent review. It's made me smile reading it. So thank you. Report Review
Len! Here I am with your requested review from TGS. :)
Okay, you know how much I adore this story. Really. It's a work of genius - I love the way you describe and the way you've made Mary - a canon character! - completely your own. It's absolutely baffling. Your descriptions are very, very vivid and your plot wound tight, so I'm eagerly going to finish this story whenever I have the time and I'm looking forward to the sequel!
One thing I noticed, though, especially on this chapter, is that your endings seem a little ... shall we say, off-balance? They don't leave me quite on the edge of my seat, and while they round off nicely, they do seem to be lacking some ulterior quality. I can't quite put my finger on it yet, but something is ... missing.
But that shouldn't bother you. The content of this fic is of extremely high quality and I can't believe you're not getting more reviews or recognition! You really, really deserve it. Congratulations on a beautiful fic, Len. ^_^ 9/10
XOXO, KalinaAuthor's Response: Lol, Kali you made me laugh with this review (since I'm pretty sure you put that part about Mary being a canon character there on purpose).
Anyway, yea some chapters sort of end all rounded off and others are like "wth? You ended it there?" When you figure out what's missing, please let me know so I might try to fix it?
It's cool that I'm not getting the recognition. It would be amazing if I did, but meh, I can't force people to read what they might not want to. It's not for everyone. :D
Thanks for the review, I appreciate it. Report Review
Your writing is very solid and mature. You give great descriptiveness without devolving into masses of useless trivia and minituiae. Your opening three paragraphs are masterfully crafted and bring the reader right into your story and make us care about your OC. They humanize her and make us want to know more about why she turned her back on the magical world.
Your explanation of her family being murdered and her just not being able to cope feels true and gives the story a hook for the reader to grab onto. Her despair when she runs from the car is visceral and real and tugs at the heart.
Normally, I would be irritated to read a story with an OC who was friends with the Marauders, but you're developing the relationship slowly and revealing it piece by piece rather than just saying 'oh... she was friends with the Marauders.' You've managed to avoid cliche and your OC seems to be very real and interesting.
One small thing that I really liked was her boss calling to check on her. That tells you a lot about her boss (caring and worried), but it also tells you a lot about Mary...she's punctual, reliable, at least friendly enough to be on her boss's good side.
This was an excellent opening chapter and I'm interested to read more.Author's Response: Poohka thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope you've at least enjoyed yourself in the story I have begun to weave. Report Review
Wow, it's been awhile since I read this!
Apparently I had already reviewed chapter one, but it's been so long! So I reread it and now I am on to chapter two! YAY!
MacDonald is a very interesting character. She is original and inspiring, not Mary-Sueish at all! It's so impressive to find such a great character these days. Eventually they get all cliche, but I doubt that with Mary. :D
Great job! Since I have a fairly backed up queue, I am only going to read this chapter for now. However, once I empty it out, I will be back for the next chapters! If I forget, then you can feel free to re-request! XD
9/10Author's Response: Drue,
Thanks so much for the review and I'm glad you find Mary original and inspiring. Report Review
Another wonderful update! I have to say I love Selwynn's character! I always like a good villian, and the backstory that you put to him, plus your portrayel of him is amazing!
The only other comment I'd have to give is Mary and Remus' escape. How was it that they were projected out the window? Was it one of Michelle's people summoning them or something? Beause I noticed that when they had landed they were handed a portkey by one of Michelle's people. I felt that that section could have used a little more detail in explaining what was happening.
Other than that fantastic job! You had me completely convinced that Mary was going to marry Selwynn! Can't wait to read the rest, keep up the good work!Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review and I'm glad you've enjoyed what you've read so far. Report Review
Wonderful update! I love your use of character description! It's very indepth! I can't wait to see what happens next!
I'm a little confused with Mary's job though. How is it that Michelle, a muggle, knows about the magical world? What is it that mary does exactly, because you've made a couple of references to her type of work but haven't fully explained them.
Other than that great update, and I can't wait to read the rest!Author's Response: Her job is supposed to remain a mystery, as does Michelle's. All will eventually be explained (though, not in this fic).
Thanks for the review and I do hope you'll read the rest. Report Review
"Would you teach a bunch of hormonal boys how to spy on girls?" I asked with a laughed.
Ha, loved that. Good chapter. Mary's restlessness was described with skill; her impetuousness is endearing but it sometimes makes you want to reach into the story and smack her for being so careless. Though her reasoning for doing those things (living her life, because if she doesn't, he's won) makes you forgive her for running off twice.
The scrying stone is an interesting touch; though wouldn't Selwynn have thought of the same thing? Perhaps that's how he's been finding her. . . Well, I'm sure we'll find out in later chapters.
There wasn't much Remus in this one. : (. But as it's not a romance that is to be expected. It was still very good; I especially enjoyed the scene where Mary escapes her three bodyguards by creating a diversion. The fact that she tried to channel the Marauders was fantastic. It made me grin. : )
I think I only found one thing to comment on this chapter! So that's good. : )
'I hide between two buildings and waited for the right moment before'. I think you meant 'hid'. : D
Well, well done once again! Update soon and, just as before, drop me a line on my review page and I'll get right to it!Author's Response: I absolutely killed myself laughing at the idea of teaching hormonal boys about scrying stones. It just made me smile like a school girl with her first crush.
Yes, there are times where I think "By god woman! I'm going to smack you if you don't smarten up!" but there wouldn't be much of a story if she wasn't the way she is.
Ah, Remus, I do regret not having him in this one much, but it was required. As the romance is supposed to be a smaller part of this fic (as any good story has a touch of something happy and fluffy), I couldn't completely ignore Remus.
The scrying stone - well that was something I really liked. I knew about them (mostly from Charmed and the book Wicked) and I wanted to include them somewhere in here. Report Review
Last posted chapter! It was great, really. The dreams were chilling; the second one in particular had me engrossed. The little boy was something like you'd actually see in a horror flick.
The relationship between Mary and Remus was, as always, engaging and adorable. The plot you introduced about the baby girl with extraordinary powers draws me in.
How long do you expect your story to be?
Well, anyway, post again soon, and send me a line on the forums to tell me when you've got the next chapter out! I'll review. : )
Annddd the last time, until the next update, that I'll nitpick. : )
'The only think it helped me' I think you meant 'thing'. And 'He knew the right things to saw at the', I think you meant 'say'.
'The close door swung' You forgot the 't' in closet. And lastly, 'it wasn't really hum' should be 'it was really him'. : )
A great chapter once again; I'm getting into this story.
Write more soon!Author's Response: Um...How about I answer the question about the length in a pm on the forums, just cause I'm a little particular on answering that one in a response to a review.
When I started this chapter, the dream with the little boy so wasn't even part of it. As I wrote the chapter it sort of just spoke to me and I had to include it. It was scary and freaky, and has a lot do to with umm...other stuff lol. And as the fic is a dark/horror esque fic, it sort of worked to have creepy, chilling parts that made readers go "oh that's why it's in the horror section" without it being like "OMG eww".
The baby girl with extraordinary powers...umm...she has stuff to do with um...later things. Maybe...we'll see.
Did I ever mention I hate typos? Lol Report Review
Hm, first person to comment on this chapter; that's odd. I'm not sure why, but this chapter was just about my favorite. Maybe it was the fact that, for a moment, I was sure you were going to go for the whole 'she'll agree to marry him' thing, but then you shocked me completely with her escape. It was a surprising and welcome twist; Mary has more up her sleeve than I gave her credit for. : )
And Remus and Mary are together again. : D The end of the chapter was really sweet.
The description in this chapter was especially nice; I especially loved when you mentioned the colors of the sunset as 'coppery'. For some reason, I don't hear it described like that often. Very nice : D
Hate to do it but, a couple of comments. : /.
'Shacking away the thoughts of possible deaths, I desided' typo there. And 'Why can't you understand there', I think you meant 'that'. Also, when you describe Vienna, you mention she was wearing a 'white dressed' instead of dress. : )
Well, you've only got one more review of mine (for now) where I can nitpick you to death. : ) I'm off to go leave it.Author's Response: I wanted some dramatic, creative escape for this chapter. I knew I couldn't leave her to marry him - though there had been moments where I was willing to do that and see Remus rescue her from Selwynn, but it just wouldn't have worked out nearly as well.
I love describing sunsets, they are my favourite to write. When I see a sunset (which I often do as my window points in the direction the sun sets in), I watch as the sky changes colours from the beautiful blue to an orangey yellow that often reminds me of pennies sometimes, to that amazing twilight purple. So, when I think the sky reminds me of pennies that is copper, it's only natural to describe the sky as coppery. At least, that's my explanation and I'm sticking to it! lol
Whoops, more typos to fix. Once I have all of your 'nitpicky' comments, I'll fix them all at once. :D Report Review
So it is Remus! That confuses me. If she knew him for years, how is it possible for her not to remember his face? And I'm glad you threw Mad Eye in there =]
And I'm pretty sure that was Sirius. "I'm going to finish what I started seven years ago!" That would be...capturing/killing Peter. Good progression. 8/10Author's Response: Nope, not Sirius. Sirius is in Azkaban just like in the books. This is set seven years after Lily and James are killed, so I'm following canon only in the sense of anything that happened prior to Harry attending Hogwarts will have happened.
And since Mary has been gone from the wizarding world for seven years I'm playing on the fact that she hasn't seen him at all (which she hasn't) and that in seven years a lot about a person can change. Imagine seven years worth of full moons, I can only imagine how rugged he might look since those are seven years without Sirius, Peter and James to help him cope with each transformation.
I'm glad you liked that I threw Moody in. I do like to keep some Canon Characters present through this. Since a lot of it will later not have many canon present. Report Review
Good start, the beginning was very powerful and dark. I hope you were shooting for dark, lol. And I really wonder who the man was that came to talk to her. It couldn't have been Remus, as she just looked at a photo of him.
The reactions were a little forced, I thought. She was being a little childish. I understand it's a serious matter since her parents are dead, but it was a little unbelievable.
However, I do like the mystery in it. All I know is her name is Mary and she's probably the same age as Remus and Lily. I'm also suspecting the man who murdered her parents would be Sirius. But then...that would make her parents quite old.
I'm just confused, lol. But intrigued nonetheless! Good job =]
8/10Author's Response: Sorry you are confused by this chapter, but thank you for the review all the same. Report Review
Whoa, seizures. That's another interesting thing; it only helps to make Mary seem more real. I wonder what her parents were talking about when they told her about that lab . . .hmm . . .
I like what you're doing with this clue thing. The crystal roses were sweet in an incredibly creepy way.
Overall, I liked the chapter once again. I noticed that in this sentence ' Elaenor added kneeling beside Mary' you switched to third person for a second. And 'I woudl find where Remus was no matter . . .' towards the end. Typo. : )
Well, I'm going to go open up my slots for two other stories, but once I give two others a chance to get some reviews, and give you some time to respond to all of mine, I'll come back and review the last two without no re-request needed.
: DAuthor's Response: The seizures have a lot to do with the plot down the line, this was the only time I could fit them in so I didn't just throw it at the reader when they become important. As does the lab. It shall all make sense in the end.
The crystal roses...ah they are my favourite part of the clues. I wanted something different, something unique that I might never have seen in other fics. This was what I came up with. They are definitely sweet and definitely creepy. But that's Selwynn for ya. Creepy to the bone.
Yay for stupid typos, will definitely get them fixed up. And I do hope you'll come back and read the rest. Chapter twelve should be available soon. :D Thanks for the amazing review. Report Review
Mary's determination to find Remus is a refreshing change; she's still running, but it's like she's running towards something, instead of away from it. It's kind of poetic, in a way. The fact that you made her a runner gives her more depth; a quirk, a habit, something that makes her human which a lot of OC's lack.
Selywnn is just as creepy as ever; I'm not entirely sure about the end where Mary takes the rose from him. It seems like she was a little too ready to reach out and take something from the man who's ruining her life.
Pointing out one thing: 'or even a few days trying to improve my apparation before I felt comfortable enough in flooing back to my townhouse.' Do you mean apparating instead of flooing?
Well, onward to the next chapter! Nice job, once again. : DAuthor's Response: I love Mary, she's absolutely my favourite to write for. However, she's not actually an OC. She was mentioned in the books, in a flashback somewhere. I can't remember if it was in DH or HBP but she is there. Very very minor, only in name and nothing else. So, I suppose she is an OC in the sense that I came up with everything for her except her name.
More darn typos. I swear I miss them every chapter lol. I'll get to fixing them. Thanks again for pointing them out. Whoa...confusing, I guess I need to look at that sentence again and figure out just what I did mean. Report Review
Oh, denied! : ( No kiss for them, I suppose.
The backstory you created for why Selwynn has been chasing Mary, and why he killed her parents, was very interesting and shocking. I never would have expected that. Is Mary actually pureblood or is it just something you put into the story, because it isn't mentioned anywhere for certain?
You do have a way with leaving the reader hanging, and wanting more. Remus disappearing was a very nice touch; it'll help Mary deal with her own weaknesses as well as add (even more) mystery and drama to the plot.
I noticed three things while reading. 'I hadn't even though of something like this happening' Missed the 't' in thought. '. . . and he was not going to allow her to spend time with those unworthy of her time.' I'd suggest leaving out the last 'time', just to avoid being repetitive; it works just as well without it. And lastly, during the flashback, 'This was there fault.' Wrong form of there. : )
Good chapter, once again! Off to the next one.Author's Response: Ah, the kiss shall come. It was cruel of me, but it just so happened that it had to occur the way it did. Pity really, I love Mary and Remus together :D
I never wanted her blood to be a whole "she's a pureblood and she's not evil, thus she's just like Sirius and blah blah blah" so it was never a huge thing to be mentioned. I felt in this chapter it was necessary to mention that she was in fact, a pureblood witch who was at one time, friends with other purebloods who believed in all that pureblood elitism.
Mary has a lot to deal with in terms of her own character flaws. I cannot stand for character (canon or OCs) to suddenly lose all sense of character development. When I started this fic, it was 100% a character exploration and was based on how much a character could evolve and change based on the situations I've placed them in. And it still is. No matter how much I love my plot, it's all about Mary growing and learning and becoming a better person - a better witch.
One day, I'll have no typos in a chapter. One day, maybe...in the near millennium. Lol. Thanks for pointing them out (since I'm terrible at seeing them). Report Review
Again, nice chapter. I enjoyed the gradual acceptance (or semi-acceptance) that Mary went through regarding Remus's condition. As I said in my previous review, it all seemed very natural. Mary seems to be coming into her own a bit, especially regarding Remus (which is obvious by the kiss at the end of the chapter : D). The darkness of the story isn't lost, however, which keeps things running smoothly.
I'm wondering if the person who brews Remus's potion is Snape . . . probably. Question, though: are you referring to the Woflsbane potion, or a different sort of early prototype of the Wolfsbane?
Two comments, as usual. '. . .every month your not going to be able to be near me.' Typo there. : ) And, 'I should have done that in the first place, then I wouldn't have cut my hand in the first place.' I'd suggest saying replacing that second 'in the first place' with a 'to begin with' just to avoid repetiveness.
Since I haven't got any other projects at the moment, I'll go ahead and read the next three chapters without re-request once I see your responses. : )Author's Response: I'm going to quickly respond to this one before work, and then when I get home, I'll respond to the other two you left. Thank you so much for taking an interest in my fic to the point where I don't need to rerequest. I'm glad you are enjoying it and finding it quite believable.
Yes, I'm talking about an earlier prototype of the Wolfsbane, which will be acknowledged more so in coming chapters not yet written. As to who is brewing the potion, I'm not sure if that will or won't be reveal (I'm on the wall still).
Thanks for the suggestion on the one sentence, you're right, it sounds funny with the double "in the first place"
Thanks again for the reviews (promise I'll respond when I get home from work). Report Review
The first thing I noticed, right away, was the fact that you didn't make Mary and Remus incredibly comfortable with one another. I like that. The awkwardness of the situation, taking into account Remus's character (since we know his), is very fitting. Good job with that. : )
I really liked the way Mary reacted to finding out Remus was a werewolf; it wasn't acceptance, or 'Oh, but he's still the Remus I knew in Hogwarts, no matter what he is', which would have been contrived. She reacted just as most witches and wizards would to being exposed to a werewolf. Her anger at not being told and her fear of another attack, when she thought she was safe, made your character very real.
I noticed two things that sounded a bit funny. 'I had always loved looking up into the night sky, and allow the beauty of the heavens remind me that life was equally as beautiful.' I'd suggest that allow should be 'letting' or 'allowing the beauty of the heavens to remind me . . .' and also 'I had a lot of anger issues that I clearly need to deal with.' Maybe make that 'needed'? Only the use of the past tense 'had' and then the present 'need' sounds a bit awkward together.
Anyway, on to the next chapter. Once again, good job. : DAuthor's Response: When I first started this chapter, I had a hard time believing that everything would be perfect between them. The chapter was awkward to write, and thus, I knew that they too had an awkwardness I was trying to ignore. I think I deleted everything I'd written at least a dozen times before I realized I had to stop fighting the way they were feeling and simply write it the way it turned out. I think it's all the better this way anyway.
In the case of Mary finding out that Remus was a werewolf, I actually had to put myself in her shoes to do. If I had suddenly found out the man I had been on the run with was a werewolf, how would I feel? And thus, it helped me understand how Mary would feel. I'm glad you believed in what I wrote enough to see that she is real (in a fictional sense of the word).
Eww tense issues? I'll definitely fix those. Thanks again for pointing out these mistakes and errors. I really do appreciate it. Report Review
I liked this chapter. It was really interesting how you described the house that Remus Apparated them into - it seemed like just the place Remus would live, and you included all the right touches to make it seem right (the torn furniture, the rusty old stove, etc).
You did a good job capturing Dumbledore's character. I especially liked how everybody went all silent and didn't know quite what to say after Dumbledore interrupted Mary's rant with a simple 'He did not escape from Azkaban.' Totally commanding yet totally calm; just like Dumbledore. : D
The idea of Remus and Mary moving all across the world, running from Selwynn while being holed up together, is exciting. : )
Only one comment to make, 'I wonder put my life in the hands of one person.' It's when Mary is speaking of getting a secret keeper. I think you meant to say something like 'I wouldn't' or 'I would never.'?
Anyway, good job!Author's Response: I had thought at first of somewhere that the Order of the Phoenix would go to that would be nice and cozy and had all the right fixings to make a witch or wizard feel safe and at home. But that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted Mary and Remus to remember that they are on the run and that they have things to fear, things much closer to them than they realize. And while the house is torn and decrepit, it's not like it's not shelter from the cold and the like.
Dumbledore is and always will be the hardest character for me to capture. I wanted to keep him the way he first appears in the books. A quirky old man who seems to know too much and shares so very little. And I'm so glad to know you think I did him justice. I was so afraid that I had written him terribly.
I want excitement in my fic. I can't imagine a boring fic!
Thank you! Report Review
Interesting, interesting. I'm liking the dynamic between Remus and Mary - both have suffered awful losses, and perhaps they can, in later chapters, help to heal each other. Remus certainly did a good job of saving Mary from getting Avada Kedavra'd, and I doubt it's the last time he'll rush to the rescue : ). Your writing is as nice as it was in the last two chapters, and I give it another 10/10.
And, once again in an effort to feel like my review wasn't pointless, I'll point out what I noticed. You said 'rub' instead of 'tub' when describing Mary running her bath. I'm not sure if it's slang for jogging, but 'joggy pants' should be 'jogging pants'. If it's meant that way, tell me; different countries have different slang of course. : ) There was a slip in the sentence '. . .too sizes too big for me', and lastly remenise=reminisce. Once again, I hope this isn't annoying. You're very welcome to re-request and if you don't want me to point these things out then just say 'less nit-picking' and I'll heed you one hundred percent. : D
Anyway, enjoyed reading it!Author's Response: The dynamic between Remus and Mary is what keeps me writing this fic. It is so much fun to see them together and watch them grow into two entirely different people. I love them both, and I love Remus. But sometimes I wish Remus was a little different than how he is seen in the books.
You're reviews are anything but pointless. I enjoy hearing back from you and what you think regardless of whether or not they are pointing out typos and the like. Report Review
Hmm, I wonder who the Death Eater is? Another great chapter. I really like how you describe things; it's almost like . . . hauntingly beautiful.
The plot is obviously beginning to thicken, what with the Death Eater's pledge for revenge. It's nice to read something darker; something that isn't just a romance, you know? This story seems to have just the right amount of foreboding and suspense, so far. 10/10.
I'll try to make myself useful while I'm writing. 'port key' should just be portkey, no space. : ) And 'They had been taking for a bit . . .' Bit of a typo. So if you want you can fix those. I hope I'm not poking at the little things, but I love my reviewer, Elsie, who points out when I slip up, so I figured I might do it as well.
Anyway, onward to the next chapter!Author's Response: Thank you. I will definitely go fix that. I swear I typed Portkey, silly typos. Please, feel free to point them out. If I don't know about them I can't fix them.
I'm glad you are enjoying the fic so far. Yes, the plot thickens and will continue to do so. :D I love interesting fics with lots of twists and turns. Report Review
This is a very intriguing story. You don't find many, or at least I don't, where a character has left the wizarding world for the Muggle one. It seems fitting, though, what with the horrifying past of the main character, who I assume is Mary Macdonald? Her continuous running (from the man on the doorstep, from the wizarding world that she belongs to, etc) suggests that she starts out as a rather frustrated and emotionally weak woman, who is unable to face her inner turmoil; this is great, because it gives her room to grow in later chapters, and finally stand her ground. Gotta love that character development. : ) Your writing is beautiful; I especially liked the way you described Mary's dislike of the feeling of a pending storm. Foreboding, hmm?
A few minor comments. 'I was looking at at least' I'm sure you meant to only include one. And 'My fist connecting with his jaw.' Maybe it should have been 'My fist connected with his jaw' or '. . . but I swung out at him, my fist connecting with his jaw.' Anyway, just tiny things I notice. : )
By the way, I don't want to nag or anything, but would you mind if I re-requested on the forums for my story Toujours Pur? You mentioned you review two chapters at a time, and you only reviewed the first, so I wasn't sure if you didn't like it. It's fine if you don't want to, just tell me in your response. I know it's not for everyone. : )Author's Response: No need to rerequest, I am reading the second chapter now. I just took it off my list of those to read cause I will be reading it.
Thank you so much for the kind review. I will take a look at that sentence you mentioned and fix it to sound better. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and yes there is a lot of character development in this fic. Report Review
Sorry it's taken me so long to get to the second chapter. I'm so slow, lol! But wow, that was intense! This story is really good! And your description of what Marry was going through is amazing! I felt so bad for her! I can't even imagine having to deal with something like that. I am curious as to why she completely gave up magic, though I am sure she had a very good reason for it...
Hey, was the Auror who didn't fit her idea of an Auror Tonks? Cuz that was my guess! :) And will we ever find out the Death Eater she just identified's name, or is his name irrelevant? Oh, and what he said to her as they were leading him away gave me chills! Good job!!! I can't wait to read more! =)
9/10Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Report Review
Wow, that was an extraordinary start to a story! It had me hooked right from the opening paragraph!!! You are a beautiful writer, and I love your attention to detail in this! Man that was intense! And I wanna know who that guy is... I am adding this to my favs! It's a great idea, very original, and I cannot wait to read more!!! Excellent Work!!! :)
10/10Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad you chose to read this one among all my other fics. I really enjoy writing this fic. It's so much fun to write. Thanks again for reading and reviewing. Report Review
Aww darn your cliffhanger! But no matter, for the next chapter is already up muwhahaha. Excellently written chapter I only saw one typo
It was a lot to talk in
but other then that wonderful though I must say if he does kiss her that it is most unexpected or at least quick to already be at this moment.
SandyAuthor's Response: sorry about the cliffhanger it couldn't be avoided. but thank you for the review! Report Review
So Mary had a seziure that caused her to hallicunate and she her paretns right? Because if thats correct, then you're a genius. :) Nice little plot tid-bit that helps everything along with out some crazy magical cause behind it. I'm still a bit confused by why Mary is sleeping when she could be looking for Remus but she has just had an emotional break through...Author's Response: Because, with most seizures a person needs to rest after. It's hard on the body. She's had them before and getting up and just going isn't exactly the best idea.
Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I appreciate each and every one of them. Report Review
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