Insane.
Really Good.

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I CAN'T EVEN.

This is the most fabulous parody I have ever read in my entire life. Absolutely brilliant!

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I am so glad to hear that that was meant to be terrible purely because it really was... sorry!

I only really liked one part:

'Otto Othello has been in love with me since first year. I think it’s pretty obvious why: I wear glasses.

Sexy librarian!'

OH YEAH#!!!

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HILARIOUS!!
I loved when he was as numb as an ice-cubed penguin, when he said something unnecessaryadverbly. Laughed out loud like 50 times

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This. Killed. Me.
Hahaha you did a really great job with this! (:
My favorite line must be this one: Otto stared nervously up at me, like a nervous little lamb with curves in all the right places.
I was literally cracking up when I read that.
I think you've covered all of the Scorpius/Rose cliches pretty nicely.

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I have now realised my deep and unrelenting love for you. Brilliant parody, thank you.

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Heehee...that was amazing.

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AH THE BEST! SO MUCH ENTERTAINMENT!

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'Are you sure you’re not dead?' I asked unnecessaryadverbly.

'I believe that qualifies as irony,' I said.

'That will be all,' Professor Rosencrantz concluded. 'I’ve gotta go, flower children. I’ve misplaced my hookah.'

(This analogy works on two levels.)

hahahahha this is the funniest (and cleverest) thing i have read in a long time! hahahaaa those lines up there ^ excellent!

flagrantly cliched hun - beautifully done!
Kate xx

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Ok, I have never reviewed a story before, but this was pretty much the funniest story I have ever read. I actually had to stop reading for a minute or so because I was laughing so hard. So I rate you 10 out of 10 for being amazing.

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Oh man, I've never been so thankful for four years of Literature. Great read. I was quoting the whole thing to my friend as I read it xD

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Funniest fanfic EVER!

Ooh fave quote time... I have loads but I'm still gonna bore you with them:

"I mean, now I'm sure she's a girl, and all, but she's still exceedingly fugly. I might change my mind if she ever turned hot and developed curves in all the right places,"

"Scorpius Malfoy, the Head Boy, and Rose Weasley, the Head Girl, are required to live in the new heads' dormitory for no apparent reason, where their accommodations will include separate bedrooms, a common bathroom, and a common living/make out room in the absolute lap of luxury."

Otto and I killed Toilet Paper Distributors side by side during the entire battle, like some sort of legendary superhero team (But with sexual tension, just for kicks.)

Who fucking cares? Avada Kedavraing fuckwits is my new life purpose.

Hundreds of Hogwarts students were injured...bruises to the head where the rolls of toilet paper had struck, paper cuts from the communist pamphlets...horrifying.

I must be chivalrous like a true Gryffindor and drink the contents of this vial, which I bought from an apothecary in Knockturn Alley last summer just in case a situation like this came up."

"Which I know because for all intents and purposes, I assume the role of my mother in our generation."

"It was not until this moment did I realize how deep my love for Scorpius is. And then the little fuckwit had to go and kill himself."
"I believe that qualifies as irony,"

"And be sure to use American spelling and colloquial phrases as often as you can."

I pretty muchretyped your story; that's dedication right there!
lol :)

Thanks for making me laugh!

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I absolutely ADORED this, especially the last sentence. Definitely kept me smiling. great one-shot! 10/10!

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This is THE RANDOMEST Fan Fiction I have ever read. I LOVE it!!! Toilet Paper, genius!

XxX Maiya XxX

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I absolutely was in tears! Brill story, one of the funnier parodies I've yet read ;)
congrats and keep up the great stories!

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That is so wretchedly wonderful and wonderfully wretched... I seriously snorted a couple of times from laughing so hard. You've got one hell of a sense of humor, and I mean that in the best way possible. Thanks for brightening my day :)

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That is so wretchedly wonderful and wonderfully wretched... I seriously snorted a couple of times from laughing so hard. You've got one hell of a sense of humor, and I mean that in the best way possible. Thanks for brightening my day :)

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Ahahaha! That was so great, I laughed the entire time :) Best Scorpius/Rose parody ever! It reminded me of so many fan fictions I've read here.

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EPIC. Honestly, that's the only word I can think of for this. You had me laughing at the first sentence, and I got all sad when it was over. xD I shouldn't even try to list my favorite parts, as they were basically the whole story, but here goes nothing.

"Our lovebirds struggled for so long!" the Chorus continued. "Scorpius had many lays! Poor Rosie counted the days! So now our couple can unite! But first they must survive the fight!"

That, and the whole of that part was definitely one of my favorites.

And, this:

We reached Hogwarts ten minutes later. The journey from London to Kilt-and-Golf Country (I think I’m getting closer…Caledonia?) never takes longer than twenty minutes. Duh, the train is powered by magic.

OhmyGod. Cliches can be quite enjoyable when made fun of. xD

Not to mention the 'curves in all the right places' jokes, or all of those crazy lines I can't put down in a 12+ review.

Like I said before -- EPIC!

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Umm... This made me laugh. A lot. nice job!! I love Shakespeare :).

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okay. so, i really liked this story. i didn't actually lol, but in my head, i kept thinking "wow, if i wasn't sick, i'd actually find this really amusing and probably laugh out loud." see, your story has warned me against such things as saying lol when i didn't actually lol. and, my favorite part was when you brought up rosencrantz and guildenstern, 'cause, you know, reading hamlet over winter break is REALLY fun and having it referenced in things that are supposed to be entertaining was really awesome! so anyway, cool story.

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lol!
That's is the most hilarious, stupid and pointless story I think I've ever read!! Sorry if that offended you, I don't mean it to be a bad thing, I loved it!
I'm not going to bother trying to count how many Shakespearrefrences there are, but it seemed like a lot, even if it were little things..

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Otto Othello has been in love with me since first year. I think it’s pretty obvious why: I wear glasses. Sexy librarian!

gasp*
oh gosh, that is too funny. Nice parody, it's about time someone did one of these.

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you had me at "I’m Albus Severus Potter, but my friends call me Horatio" and just kept me laughing :)
great job, this was too funny! and an awesome parody!

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Is it possible to love anything more than I love this? And by the way, thanks a lot tybalt, I freakin' died laughing hahahahha this was amazing, and I wish I could show this piece to every sad mothertrucker that attempted these so-called cautionary tales.

Author's Response: Thanks! Aww, there's nothing inherently wrong with those persons who write Serious, Star-Crossed Love Sagas... There's an audience for them, but there's also an audience for parodies. ;)

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