Reading Reviews for In Perpetuum
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hpfan1 Hogsmead Strolls

27th February 2012:
perpetuum means 'ever' in latin
forever in latin means 'aeternum'

Author's Response: erh thanks.

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Review #2, by auror_snape Hogsmead Strolls

12th June 2011:
Short and sweet. I believe that they are linked together by fate, and it's outside forces (ie love potions) putting them with the Weasleys. 10/10

Author's Response: thanks you! haha i secretly think so too :)

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Review #3, by dramaqueen6 Hogsmead Strolls

1st December 2008:
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry that I took so much time to get this review done! I was so busy with rehearsals for my show that I didn't stop to think about slacking on my review list! So hopefully this review is worth it in the end.

1. I found it really odd that you used second person in this story. It took a little getting used to, but I think it really worked well with the story. It made the descriptions unique and I liked it.

2. One thing to work on would be sentance flow and structure. While most of the sentances were worded beautifully, they would be even better without some of the messy ones that stick out. That's just something that you'll have to edit by reading over your work, and its nothing to fret about. Just something very small that will help in the end.

3. I noticed that in the story you didn't really say much of who it was about, except for those few little moments. Like the one mention of Harry Potter and the one sentance with the word Hogsmeade in it. Now I think that if you want the story to work better you should either keep out all mention of things like that (Harry Potter and Hogsmeade) or use those things more frequently. Because having them mentioned only once or twice made it kind of awkward feeling.

Anyway, great story! With some editing it can be even better. I'm glad I read it.

-dramaqueen6

Author's Response: Don't worry at all! I get how it is with reviews (I'm waaay behind myself) and I haven't responded to this yet (which is appauling) ha ha.

Ha ha, I wasn't even aware that I was writing in 2nd person until the end. I was reading over it and then I was like- 'huh, that's weird' because I don't think I've ever written even a little in 2nd person. Thankls! :)

I think I will get someone to look over this for me. I need someone to look over my work for a lot of my things. Ha ha.

I'm sorry, but it was sort of intentional. And I thought seeing as harry and hermione were both on the banner and in the story description it was fairly obvious (no offence meant at all!!) I just liked hte suspense is all ;)

Thank you so much! I realyl appreciated your review.


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Review #4, by dis_1_gurl Hogsmead Strolls

24th November 2008:
i loved this story...loved all the description...

Author's Response: Thanks very much!

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Review #5, by rachm34 Hogsmead Strolls

3rd November 2008:
Hia, Itís Rachel here to review your story.

Firstly: Hogsmede is spelled incorrectly it should be: Hogsmead.

You say Truly love in one part. Do you mean True love?

So well done, your descriptions are lovely and beautiful. Itís very good.

Although the flow of this story in times are a bit choppy in my opinion and in several sentences you are missing words. I think you can improve upon that by just adding the words and that will make the flow run smoother. There were a few missing commas and other than that I think your story is lovely. I suggest a beta to help you with your errors.

Well done, I fell in love with the descriptions you added in this stor

Author's Response: Ha ha, thanks for pointing that out. I'll go back and fix that when I get the chance.

Thanks so much for taking the time to come and review!


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Review #6, by a potter po Hogsmead Strolls

1st November 2008:
Hi! Your story is lovely. I'm glad you wrote it.
Just a few things I spot, please feel free to change it or not;

Your title of the chapter -- is it meant t obe Hogsmeade?

A few grammatical errors:
"When you love someone, and I mean, truly love (insert comma) is it better to keep it hidden"

"When all you care (insert about) is this person, their every action and thought (insert comma) yet it seems you can never find a way of communicating this, is it really love at all?"

"I shirt the fabric and look up at the sky" -- is "shirt" a verb and what does it mean?

Your story is really lovely. It's non-pretentious and yet your words hold a lot of meaning and tension in it. I like it!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks very much for pointing these out, it's really helpful :)

Thank you very much, it means a lot! Thanks for taking the time to review. I really appreciate it.


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Review #7, by Ellaoptimistic Hogsmead Strolls

30th October 2008:
Haha, I know the feeling. Some time I'm going to go TDA and just say 'I want that banner' and make a story that fits it. =D

Author's Response: I now, right! Ha ha. It's brilliant :P Thanks for your review.

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Review #8, by Moondanser83 Hogsmead Strolls

12th October 2008:
I love it! It was so easy to read, to 'fall into' if you will. The feeling of this piece is like a cross between a poem and a diary entry, and the combination is irresistable. Truly a fantastic piece of work. I could see evrey image, feel every pelt of rain and taste the crisp air as I read. There is absolutly nothing critical I can say about this piece...
It was amazing!

Much Love
~Moon~

Author's Response: Hey there, sorry for the long time without a response. It wouldn't let me :( Ha ha.
Thank you so much though! I can't stop smiling, you've made my day. Thanks for coming to take the time to review.


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