Reading Reviews for Make Your Move
  
47 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Girl93 Of Tears And Frustration to Harry

23rd October 2009:
Yay everyone's happy. This is great. Write more

Author's Response: Aww thank you.

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Review #2, by Girl93 Of Being Sick To Wanting Harry

23rd October 2009:
You're so mean to Ginny but I like the story

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #3, by Girl93 Of Mates and loving brothers to confusing boys

23rd October 2009:
Hola, I read your first fanfic and it was really good. You made me cry. This is great to, keep writing.
Adios

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

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Review #4, by searching17 Of Tears And Frustration to Harry

6th December 2008:
I think that Harry is treating Ginny like a child almost. I don't know. But I would have thought that Harry would at least make some contact with Ginny, or that Ginny would fight more for Harry and make the first move to find out what was wrong with their relationship, but now I'm not so sure. But anyway, I love your dialog and description throughout this whole story. Please update soon and keep writing! Overall: 9/10.

~Estrella

Author's Response: i;m glad that you like it!! yay thankyou

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Review #5, by searching17 Of Being Sick To Wanting Harry

6th December 2008:
Something about Ginny crying like that really threw me off. Her being down on herself and not believing she's good enough for Harry seems a bit OOC for me I think. :/ The dialog and description continue to be great, along with the helpful characterization and advice of Hermione keep the story moving, but maybe it's because we haven't met Harry yet - I don't know about how this story is going to keep moving. I suggest having something from his point of view, or introduce Harry soon, since having Ginny secretly *or not so secretly* weep over him is SO not like her. She rarely weeps, remember? Besides that, great job. :) 8.5/10.

~Estrella

Author's Response: Thank you so much for a review!

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Review #6, by searching17 Of Mates and loving brothers to confusing boys

6th December 2008:
Aww I loved Ginny and how she connected with her brothers - it's so sweet and realistic. The author's notes are just like WOAH though. But that's okay. ;) I love the dialog and description, and there were a few grammar/spelling mistakes, but nothing major to take away from the chapter. Great job! 10/10!

~Estrella

Author's Response: Thank you so much! yay i am glad you are liking it!

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Review #7, by ginevrahermione Of Tears And Frustration to Harry

24th November 2008:
coolio, i'll add this to my favourites so i can keep checking up! thank you for writing suh an ACE story, s'ya soon. ginevrahermione

Author's Response: thank you so much!! aww

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Review #8, by ginevrahermione Of Being Sick To Wanting Harry

24th November 2008:
wow, this story is FANTASTIC! it's got so much feeling. I love how all the brothers have nicknames for her! It makes it so much more personal. A real insight into Weasley family life.

Author's Response: aww i'm so glad you like it!

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Review #9, by ginevrahermione Of Mates and loving brothers to confusing boys

24th November 2008:
wonderful stuff! you've really captured family life in this chapter, the conversations are really realistic! now, onwards to the next chapter...!

Author's Response: thank you so much

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Review #10, by Georgia Weasley Of Mates and loving brothers to confusing boys

30th October 2008:
The story is cute, but the author notes are a bit much there, sister! I love the relationships between Ginny and her brothers that you've built here. They are very sweet. You write her emotions very well in this. Bringing in each of them to check on her was a lovely thought, it shows how dedicated to her they each are. Harry has a girlfriend? Not likely, but its your story, so I won't argue it. This is a good beginning of a story.

Author's Response: thanks so much. I really like it. I actually am in the process of writting a oneshot. I hope you will check out!

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Review #11, by AceShooter Of Being Sick To Wanting Harry

30th October 2008:
I hope Harry comes to his senses soon! I really liked this chapter, it shows how much Ginny loves Harry even tho he is being a jerk.

Author's Response: thank you so much!

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Review #12, by AceShooter Of Mates and loving brothers to confusing boys

30th October 2008:
You shouldn't worry so much about your writing because its brilliant! Ginny is awesome and Harry is a prat! I'll have my cookie now please =D

Author's Response: thanks so much! yay i'm glad you think that my writting is brlliant. I just wrote a one shot that is published. Check that out too. *hands three cookies to you*

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Review #13, by miss hiss Of Tears And Frustration to Harry

29th October 2008:
Uh, next chapter please, don't wanna wait

this is great, update soon

Author's Response: i'm really glad you like it. Like really glad, thanks so much

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Review #14, by savagebeginnings Of Being Sick To Wanting Harry

26th October 2008:
Hello again! First let me say that I'm really liking where you're taking this! It's very interesting and I have a feeling that this is going to be a really great story. Again, there were a few mistakes. Here's one of them:

but I knew wouldn't happen - I think there is supposed to be a 'that' between 'knew' and 'wouldn't'.

Overall, I thought it was really great and I can't wait to see where it's going! Please feel free to request of me again!

Author's Response: thanks so much!! I'm really glad you like it. You know i have another chapter i think than this up too so you can read that if you want too. I know there were a few mistakes i thought my beta got them but i'll have to go through them again. Thanks

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Review #15, by savagebeginnings Of Mates and loving brothers to confusing boys

26th October 2008:
Hi! This is babygohan from the forums here with your review! Interestingly enough, I haven't read many post Hogwarts stories and now that I have, they are slightly starting to grow on me! I think this is a really interesting story so far! There were a few mistakes here and there. One in particular that just stood out to me was this one:

I wondered if he Legilimency - I think there should be a 'knew' between 'he' and 'Legilimency'.

That was just one that stood out to me. Otherwise, I think you have a really great story coming along! The development is really good so far! Overall, I think this story has a lot of potential!

Author's Response: thanks, you have a really keen eye for that stuff. I thought my beta got everything but i'll have to go fix that. Thanks

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Review #16, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Of Being Sick To Wanting Harry

25th October 2008:
Hi again!!!

Another great chapter, I'll say! This was really interesting. Your plot is great, it's going in a good direction. Again, you write Trio very well. I love this.

One thing I noticed: You said in this chapter that Hermione wasn't allowed to visit Ginny for awhile. However, before you said that, you had Hermione visit her, tell her something about Ron getting coffee for her. So you may want to change that a bit.

Otherwise, amazing! I loved reading this story!!!

Author's Response: ohhh thanks so much for this review. you give great ones and they always cause me to smile

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Review #17, by long_live_luna_bellatrix Of Mates and loving brothers to confusing boys

25th October 2008:
Hey, it's me, long_live_luna_bellatrix from the forums!

This was a really great start! I really like it! The plot looks really interesting, and I love your characters. You write Hogwarts-era people very well. Way to go!

I would suggest you don't spend so much of the chapter having Ginny mourn Fred. I know we all miss him, but it felt like the point of the chapter jumped around a little bit too much.

Also, when Ginny entered the twins' shop, you said something about a password punch in. I don't think wizards would have electrical stuff, it's more likely that George would have a charm on the shop to alert him to any intruders. So you may want to change that around a bit.

Way to go, I can tell this will turn out to be a great story!!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for a great review!

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Review #18, by BusinessJournal Of Tears And Frustration to Harry

13th October 2008:
Hello again :)

So, I don't really have heaps to say about this one, but I'll leave a review nonetheless :)

At first I was so confused as to why Harry didn't know Ginny was in St. Mungo's, but you cleared that up by Ron cutting off contact with him :) I thought that was a nice touch, having Ron getting so angry with Harry. It's nice that he will always think of his family before anyone else. I liked that one little line about Mitchie's the one who smells now, haha. Nice addition. Other than that, I liked the chappie, and I'm so happy Harry is back :)

Author's Response: why thank youuu. I'm glad you liked it. your reviews are so helpfulll!

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Review #19, by BusinessJournal Of Being Sick To Wanting Harry

13th October 2008:
Hello again!

Lots to say :) First off, nice chappie again. I think it's a nice idea to have her brothers looking after her. I've never read a story like that. I thought you could've added a little bit more detail here and there, such as when she went to the Burrow at first. I have one little nitpicky thing. When Ginny asks Bill what he wants to do, and he says "watch a movie", I don't know if you're wanting to stick with canon, but there are no movies in the wizarding world haha :) I thought Ginny's sickness came rather suddenly; perhaps you could add a little build-up as to how she was feeling. Perhaps she was starting to feel feverish during the Quidditch match or maybe she was even just beginning to get a cold flu. I loved that little bit you added when Ginny was in St. Mungo's about Bill cursing in French and Ginny rolling her eyes; that was hilarious, especially if you're sticking to Ginny hating Fleur. I was also hoping for a little more description about the dreams Ginny was having in her blackouts, because you did mention her having them. Perhaps you could add little memories in italics or something for that :) I was so mad at Harry for not even visiting Ginny while she was in St. Mungo's for so long! What a prat! You'd think after all the nasty things he'd done, Ginny would bloody beat him ;) But again nice chappie!

Author's Response: thanks so much i'm glad you like it.

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Review #20, by BusinessJournal Of Mates and loving brothers to confusing boys

13th October 2008:
Hello! BusinessJournal here with your request from the forums :) First off, apologies for the delayed reviews; heaps of craziness in real life.

Well, I thought this was a nice set-up, telling us how Ginny was feeling after the war about Fred and Harry and the rest of her family. I've never read a post-war story, so this is a first for me :) Just one little comment, maybe it's just because I'm a Brit, but I would never say "bloody" and "sodding" together haha. That's just me though, I'm not sure if anyone else says it like that :) But this is a great idea for a story, I've never read a ton of Ginny's POV after the war, so that's a nice unique touch. My only little critique is that Ginny seems a bit... weepy. I'm not sure if you're wanting to stick to canon at all, which is fine if you're not (it's fanfiction after all ;)), but I found that the reason Harry was so in love with Ginny was because she was fierce and strong, and rarely cried. But if you're wanting to create your own unique Ginny, then by all means! It'll be nice to see where you go with this and how Ginny evolves :)

Author's Response: yay. a good review. thank you. well i think that Ginny would be emotionally unstable if she was in the hospital. I do know Harry loves her for being strong.

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Review #21, by Leent Of Tears And Frustration to Harry

10th October 2008:
I wasn't sure where you would go to with this one. You set many variables up and it was interesting to see how they played out.

At first, I felt your Ginny was way too emotionally consumed, it just didn't seem at all like the girl Harry Potter would fall in love with. But I can see that she was just hurting so very badly, and that was what you wanted to get through. I was surprised that Harry reacted the way he did to the news that Ginny was ill, and I am glad he did. I knew he'd never hurt her that way.

"could imagine him running a hand threw his unmanageable hair with frustration." - yes, that was a very nice line, very much like his father there. Great characterization!

Yet, something in him was lacking a bit. It just seemed to work out too easily, with little room for explanations. If I may make a suggestion? I'd try to build more upon their dialogue, giving more description to their surroundings as well. In life, it usually doesn't work out like that. I kept asking, why would Harry want her? Make the reader believe it.

There were also some beautiful moments that you wrote here. Such as - ""Yes I do!” he shouted back. “You’re bleeding because of me.” Yes I am, but not in that way! I thought." That was wonderful! I think you are a fantastic writer with great vision, and with a little more development of the characters and scenes, this will be extraordinary. I did like it, and couldn't wait to see what was to happen in this chapter. Excellent job hooking the reader with the plot, and all around, a great job.

Smiles~Leent

Author's Response: thanks Leent! i hope you saw the reviews i left for yoru story.

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Review #22, by Leent Of Being Sick To Wanting Harry

10th October 2008:
Back again...

Ginny's heartbreak was absolutely intense here...the pain she was feeling made me want to reach through the screen and give her a big hug! The emotions were written well, as was her state of (perhaps self-induced?) sickness which I imagine was linked to her loss of Harry. Kind of had some 'New Moon' elements there, don't know if you meant for that though.

I think the flow here was great, and built the story to a new tone, one of misery and loss. Hopelessness. You conveyed that emotion quite lovely actually.

I do have a question though, and I may have missed it before, I'm not sure. Where are Ginny's parents? It is hard to believe Molly Weasley wouldn't have been at her bedside every second. Just wondering if I missed something...

I liked how Bill took on the role of older brother and parent, as I think he certainly would do. Excellent job with his character. And this Mitzie. That has got me very intrigued, because I cannot believe Harry would do such a thing. You have another great hook with that, keep running with it!

Smiles~Leent

Author's Response: I completely forgot her parents, i kinda wanted it to be her brothers caring for her. I hope you liked it

thanks so much!


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Review #23, by dramaqueen6 Of Being Sick To Wanting Harry

10th October 2008:
Hey, here I am with the review on the second chapter.

1. The first thing I noticed that I forgot to point out in the first chapter was Ginny's dislike of Fleur. Bill and Fleur had been married for about a year, and I'm pretty sure that her negative feelings for Fleur that she had in the sixth book ended when Fleur really showed that she cares for Bill. So that didn't really work out.

So anyway, pretty good chapter. I liked all the development going on, so good job on that.

-dramaqueen6

Author's Response: hey, thanks so much for reviewing.

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Review #24, by dramaqueen6 Of Mates and loving brothers to confusing boys

10th October 2008:
Hello! Here I am with my review, sorry it took a while.

1. First of all, I liked the start of the chapter. It worked pretty well. One thing that I did notice throughout this was the lack of landscape detail. The places, or people weren't described at all, and those pretty little details really help make a story more enjoyable.

2. Also I liked the thought that was put into the nicknames for Ginny, and it was nice that you tried to make the family very close seeming, but honestly, the nicknames were just kind of lame in my opinion. Princess, Ginbo, Ginbug etc. They just didn't seem realistic, and I understand that you wanted to convey that the family was very close, but it was kind of unrealistic. Sure families are close, but it seemed kind of fake.

Anyway, pretty good start. With some editing it can be even better.

-dramaqueen6

Author's Response: oh don't worry at all with taking to long.

I think i will work on the ddetails more.



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Review #25, by Live_For_Life Of Tears And Frustration to Harry

10th October 2008:
Hi

About the chapter titles...if you could give us a clue as to what you'd like the next chapter to contain then maybe it's be easier to make suggestions? But I will try :-)

Since you seem to like the 'Of' start...I'll go with Of Gin-Bo and Harry-bee.

Just something I think sounds sweet...obviously it's your chappie so your choice :-)


The pain's gone yay!! lol

I'm so glad Ginny and Harry are better and back together!

Good chapter and well written with a lot of detail and description!

Keep up the good work! 10/10. And I will add this to my favorites!

- Mia

Author's Response: thanks so much. yay you're adding this to your favorites. that means so much

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